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Revelations 01

28 Sep 2005 01:33 #2799 by Ordo Cabaal Templarus
Revelations 01 was created by Ordo Cabaal Templarus
"I've been restoring old characters, making quite a few new ones, and renovating others into a Star Wars/Warhammer 40k type of thing, with a few fantasy bits in there too. Thus far, I have a Republic that is like V.E. old 'Empire' (I liked it that much, couldn't resist. You know me... :twisted: ), with the Velorians and Arions as ideals and sects rather than sub-species. I have a romantic China/Japan kind of back drop for the Eastern Fringe of the Galaxy.

Of course, there will be Kryptonians and Kryptonian-esque races out there. Giant monsters and mecha abound, with trillions of 'Betas' and 'Plebes' just avoiding being crushed by the Elite and Ruling classes.

The Rebel Alliance (yes, the star wars kind) seeks to overthrow, and it will recruit anyone and use whatever resources it has in it's disposal to achieve thier dream of a galactic republic ruled by them instead of the Kryptonian-like elite.

Ancient Sol has been shrouded in deadly warpstorms for centuries, perhaps even an epoch. It and it's citizens have long since been condemned as ignorant, primitive, and the least intelligent of the galaxy.

When the warpstorms recede, the Republic acts.

Selling the system to the Arion sect in the High Council, the conquerers are sent.

There are some realms best uncovered, and those best left unseen. For thier divination unleashes hell of untold proportions."

And so the Eclipse came, and the shell of earth receded, and the Kings of War walked thier old Earth once more.

So, what do you think? Should I follow through?

-OCT[/i]

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28 Sep 2005 07:46 #2805 by WhitePaw
Replied by WhitePaw on topic Re: Revelations 01
Sounds like a vast, sprawling sea of humanity more akin to Asmov's Empire than VE's. Good backdrop, but what's the story? Get down to street-level where people live and can identify with.

I've been working on my homeworld 'Lyra' for example. I started w/ my old cantina, and painted it out from there like waking up from layer upon layer of increasingly broader, more exotic dreams. 27 pages in and I've only shown the floating sky islands, the Worldsea, Skyport, Citadel, the kryptonite mines, offworlder poachers, leviathans, and the Warspine...and many of the inhabitants therein. I still haven't shown the part about the whole mess spiraling into a black hole yet--only the off-worlders really know that (from Lyra's perspective, their star hasn't collapsed yet and will take forever to swallow them up so what's the point?) Only their priests know and I haven't pulled out "Oracle" yet (in a flashback). Absolutely nothing about Lyra is as you've ever seen before. I'm really trying hard not to mention a bit of geography without actually taking my characters there and filming a scene 'on location'. The kryptonite mines were especially fun ;)

A couple of words of advice Ordo: You're going to have to paint out all the Warhammer in detail for the sea of humanity out here (myself included) who don't know one end of a plasma catapult from the other. But don't dwell on the tech. We all come here for the cheesecake. Good luck w/ THAT balance. Don't assume your readers know any of it. Second: tell your story through people acting through it live and natural like they live there, not history-book-like narrative. It'll be way more fun that way too. Vacations to exotic locals are always more fun if you can get your nose out of the tourist brochures.

Native cheesecake.

And yeah, I've seen your stuff. You know all that already :) I'm preaching to some un-named choir out there ;)

Write on brutha!

Love,
-White Paw.

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29 Sep 2005 02:08 #2834 by Ordo Cabaal Templarus
Replied by Ordo Cabaal Templarus on topic Re: Revelations 01
Well, whitepaw, thus far I have some bizzare, Doom 3 and Clive Barker's Undying style ghosts and strange happenings going on in increasing pace. Don't worry about the story... invaders must always meet some resistance...

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