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Continuing Serena
This entry is special to me in many ways, especially because Yosh's work dragged me into this community in first place. I hope that you'll enjoy this attempt to continue a story that was left alone 12 years ago.
Once again I have to thanks Yosh for allowing me to use his characters and to write the story in the first place; to Njae for editing and the constant advice; and to everyone else on this forum for the feedback.
Happy reading.
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- Woodclaw
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There were a lot of different ways it could have gone, and I think you captured the characters very well. So cool to see someone else pick up the ball. I enjoyed very much. Thx!!
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- yohashuan
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yohashuan wrote: Excellent work!! I was a terrible reader/editor/advisor when you sent me drafts, but it looks like my lack of input left you free to do a better job.
There were a lot of different ways it could have gone, and I think you captured the characters very well. So cool to see someone else pick up the ball. I enjoyed very much. Thx!!
Thanks.
I admit that I longed for a little more input from you. But if you really like the result than is all for the best.
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- Woodclaw
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- Raa
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Raa wrote: Good bump and good story. Thanks.
You're welcome. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
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- Woodclaw
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- njae
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njae wrote: Excellent work. It is hard to write a continuation of someone else's story because there are so many things to keep in mind, but you did a really great job on this.
Thank my editor.
njae wrote: Do you have any plans to continue from here?
Right now, no I don't. Maybe in the future, but for the moment I need to take a break and work on something else.
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- Woodclaw
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Thank my editor.
I'm glad I could help.
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- njae
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I even also gave some thought to continuing what is probably my favorite ubergirl tale around these parts. Happily, Anon beat me to it and did a much better job than I probably could have. I really enjoyed a couple of parts in particular:
1) Serena finishing her work after taking a swig
2) Serena and Jennifer's empathic tete-a-tete back in forth in terms of how it was written and formatted
3) Mia's transformation amidst Serena and Jennifer's 'argument'
I personally would have liked more details to Mia's transformation, but it was great how the author pulled it off...
Fantastic work, Anon (and Yosh for laying the groundwork! )!
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- lfan
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lfan wrote: I left comments at the end of the story myself, but I wanted to make sure Anon (and Yosh) knew how happy I was to see this continuation. It has been almost a running joke about "when" Serena would be continued. I myself have publicly tried to bully Yosh into revisiting it and have privately spoken to him on how he saw the next parts of the story developing.
I even also gave some thought to continuing what is probably my favorite ubergirl tale around these parts. Happily, Anon beat me to it and did a much better job than I probably could have.
First of all thanks, I'm very happy that so many people are enjoying this attempt to continue with another author story.
lfan wrote: I really enjoyed a couple of parts in particular:
1) Serena finishing her work after taking a swig
2) Serena and Jennifer's empathic tete-a-tete back in forth in terms of how it was written and formatted
3) Mia's transformation amidst Serena and Jennifer's 'argument'
I personally would have liked more details to Mia's transformation, but it was great how the author pulled it off...
Fantastic work, Anon (and Yosh for laying the groundwork! )!
The empathic tete-a-tete was probably the hardest and easiest part to write. I knew from the start that I needed to take advantage of the psionic element introduced by Yosh. Still, writing something that resembled a full stream of conscience was really a challenge.
About Mia's transformation I received some notes by my editor. What I was looking for was a sound only scene. Yosh made the transformetion scenes one of the strongest points of this serie, and I really wanted to add something new to the table.
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- Woodclaw
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First of all thanks, I'm very happy that so many people are enjoying this attempt to continue with another author story.
I'm actually more surprised to see how many people actually considered writing an own fan continuation of Serena. And yes I'm one of them too.
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- njae
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- www1969
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To be totally honest, my version would likely have taken some very different turns, so it was hard to give feedback during the writing process. I was probably too worried about putting my two cents in on the storyline. I didn't want to influence the direction at all, or turn it into a 'co-writing' thing. This was all Anon's story, and I'm just flattered/weirded-out to read this thread. I always figured that the reason Serena was so well received was timing more than anything else. There are so many better stories in the storybank and out on the web. And Anon's continuation helped avert a trainwreck IMO.
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- yohashuan
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yohashuan wrote: This is a better job than I would have done if I'd ever had the drive to continue what I'd started. All that the original really had going for it was the drawn-out tension of waiting to ingest the formula, followed by a transformation scene with super-hormone-fueled descriptions haha. As far as an actual "story," I always felt like things just got away from me and that I'd never have been able to tie the loose threads together as well as Anon did here.
It's not just "a transformation scene" it's THE transformation scene! You pretty much set the bar high for every other transformation scene that followed. And don't forget that while the plot has it's weaknesses, it more or less redefined the "girl getting superpowers and learning to use them" subgenre. Stories where a woman voluntary gives herself superpowers without being or turning evil aren't that common, either.
I always figured that the reason Serena was so well received was timing more than anything else. There are so many better stories in the storybank and out on the web. And Anon's continuation helped avert a trainwreck IMO.
Timing may have been a factor, but it's uniqueness is an even bigger one. BTW: I disagree about there being any better stories, but that's just my opinion
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- njae
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njae wrote:
yohashuan wrote: This is a better job than I would have done if I'd ever had the drive to continue what I'd started. All that the original really had going for it was the drawn-out tension of waiting to ingest the formula, followed by a transformation scene with super-hormone-fueled descriptions haha. As far as an actual "story," I always felt like things just got away from me and that I'd never have been able to tie the loose threads together as well as Anon did here.
It's not just "a transformation scene" it's THE transformation scene! You pretty much set the bar high for every other transformation scene that followed. And don't forget that while the plot has it's weaknesses, it more or less redefined the "girl getting superpowers and learning to use them" subgenre. Stories where a woman voluntary gives herself superpowers without being or turning evil aren't that common, either.
I agree with Njae on this point. Transformations are a pretty big part of the story and your work, Yosh, set the standard. Also Serena was different because it worked on a slightly unusual angle. Many origin stories tend to skip the first days and went straight down to the "doing super-stuff" part, you didn't. The story keep focusing on Serena's first hours and the discovery of her powers, rather than superpowered action.
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- Woodclaw
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I'm in the camp that Yosh gave the quintessential transformation scene that has yet to be topped before or since. While he admittingly thought it was possibly too drawn out, it was what made it so great IMO!
ElF
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yohashuan wrote: I'd like to. And I do have a few bits and pieces on the hard drive. I just don't want to make any promises. I'd rather fly under the radar until I have something concrete to show. It won't be a continuation of Serena's story, though. I've always been flattered that people have asked for a continuation, but I just don't have the vision to take it anywhere else. I'd rather start something new if I ever get the motivation to write again.
Just a little advice, try to start small (maybe using the short workshop format) and see where that brings you. I made the mistake of trying to start with a big one and took me a lot of time to recover from that.
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- Woodclaw
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yohashuan wrote: I'd like to. And I do have a few bits and pieces on the hard drive. I just don't want to make any promises. I'd rather fly under the radar until I have something concrete to show. It won't be a continuation of Serena's story, though. I've always been flattered that people have asked for a continuation, but I just don't have the vision to take it anywhere else. I'd rather start something new if I ever get the motivation to write again.
Well that sounds encouraging. But I think the biggest problem will be to find the motivation to write. From my own experience, the biggest motivation boosts came from positive feedback and competition. A deadline helps as well. I remember how slowly I progressed with 'Blind date' because there was soo much time till the deadline - until Anon sent me his first draft from this story reminding me that I'd better get going if I want to compete with that.
So like Anon, I think that it would be best for you to participate in a (short) workshop, preferably with another author as mutual beta reader. Now if there was a short workshop running right now...
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yohashuan wrote: ...the idea of having people look over my virtual shoulder and keep tabs on my progress while I'm writing has always been kind of annoying to me...
Oops, seems like I have to clear up a misunderstanding regarding my example above. It's not that Anon directly urged my to get going, but more like seeing how far he had been when he sent me his first draft showed me that I was lacking behind. This caused me to focus on the workshop instead of another story while the positive reception of the workshop gave me motivation to finish that other story quickly afterwards.
Deadlines/constraints/competition are things that are necessary evils to make the workshops work. If you're not good with them it's for the best when you avoid them. Competition begins and ends with the workshop polls, so please remember that you're not competing with your own story. Don't ask yourself what the community may want to read, write what you want the story to be about.
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Agent00Soul wrote: My thanks to everyone who worked on this! A worthy sequel and indeed a new direction!
You're welcome.
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