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StarTroopers

19 Mar 2018 03:42 - 19 Mar 2018 03:43 #58867 by shadar
StarTroopers was created by shadar
I've posted a new story called StarTroopers in two parts, a Prologue and Episode One.

Part meteor story, part Starship Troopers influenced and all Uber powerful. A story about how Earth faces the threat of spacefaring intelligent race of insects, bugs, who view us as nothing more than tasty morsels best eaten fresh while screaming.

And the bugs are winning.

But someone out there is on our side. A message is intercepted by SETI that was sent more than two thousand years ago that tells us how to fight back.

I wrote most of this back in 2012, but I'm returning to a whole bunch of aborted stories, reviving the best of them to share and hopefully enjoy.

Shadar
Last edit: 19 Mar 2018 03:43 by shadar.
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19 Mar 2018 16:26 #58878 by ong76win2
Replied by ong76win2 on topic StarTroopers
Great story. Hope it continues. Be waiting for more!

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19 Mar 2018 17:00 #58879 by shadar
Replied by shadar on topic StarTroopers

ong76win2 wrote: Great story. Hope it continues. Be waiting for more!


Already writing episode 2.

Shadar
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19 Mar 2018 19:33 #58881 by Monty
Replied by Monty on topic StarTroopers
This looks relly good and very promising. A great concept there. I must admit, I was half-wxpecting a super Denise Richards (oh, yeah) when I started reading. Perhaps she could turn out to be captain of the ship?

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19 Mar 2018 19:55 #58882 by shadar
Replied by shadar on topic StarTroopers

Monty wrote: This looks relly good and very promising. A great concept there. I must admit, I was half-wxpecting a super Denise Richards (oh, yeah) when I started reading. Perhaps she could turn out to be captain of the ship?


I’d forgotten about Denise. Always a favorite of mine. I’ll definitely beam a young Denise (or maybe her identical-looking granddaughter) into the story. Tks for suggestion.

Shadar
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19 Mar 2018 20:26 #58883 by Bolt527
Replied by Bolt527 on topic StarTroopers
Just putting in a word for Sheena; hope chapter 2 doesn't slip under the radar.

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19 Mar 2018 21:46 #58888 by shadar
Replied by shadar on topic StarTroopers

Bolt527 wrote: Just putting in a word for Sheena; hope chapter 2 doesn't slip under the radar.


Working on both, plus others. Sheena story will just have two parts. Startroopers will have several more.

Shadar
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20 Mar 2018 13:56 #58911 by TwiceOnThursdays
Replied by TwiceOnThursdays on topic StarTroopers
I'm so far behind on reading things ....

but I took the time to read StarTroopers last night and I'm really glad I did. ;-)

i love the setup and the world building. I can't wait to get to some of the action against the bugs.

I like the restrictions. The transformation isn't permanent, the women need repeated exposure (and hence swallow some to always keep it on hand). And there is the implication that if it fully wears off, you die.

Add to this the initial "if you look at it you die" part, making it dangerous to even test. It did seem that something extra was going on, as why would someone stare at something so deadly w/o protection ... I surprise that it partially affected her, and that made her drawn to it and "want to see more...".

The aliens left a dangerous gift.

If the genetic tests are open, then I wonder if some enterprising woman (or women) would mount an operation to get some? Imagine if a high ranked politician matched? (I wonder if the exposure de-ages someone?)

I love the character building in Part 1, it'll be interesting to see how this develops.

The images also help set the mood. A nice little spice on top of the words.

So yeah, waiting for more. ;-)
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20 Mar 2018 21:02 #58916 by The Highlander
Replied by The Highlander on topic StarTroopers
I love the new story, interesting premise and some very well done world building. And refreshing to see a man who doesn't just want to hope into bed with the superwoman (and nice touch having the superwomen keeping their sex life secret). Plus I had a chuckle at Amy Lorraine's name, I can't imagine how you came up with that one!

With an uncooperative Russian on the loos I think it's time for the UK to have some superwomen of its own to protect it. May I suggest these two beauties (even if one of them is technically Scottish).




What do you think?

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20 Mar 2018 22:10 #58918 by shadar
Replied by shadar on topic StarTroopers
Oh, yes... definitely some good choices. Maybe in Episode 3. Love redheads.

By the way, I'm preparing to upload Episode Two now. Look for it in a few minutes.

Shadar
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20 Mar 2018 22:51 #58920 by Caylane
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Redheads are indeed the best ;)

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21 Mar 2018 13:21 #58924 by smoki07
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I like the story! Continue plz!
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21 Mar 2018 13:30 #58925 by jumperprime
Replied by jumperprime on topic StarTroopers
I hope a future chapter will give us a glimpse of the political turmoil Ivanka's little rampage is likely to have set off. A Russian Uber not only botches the train-stop test so badly she completely destroyed the train and almost killed the engineers and examiner, she then attempted to murder the examiner and he only survived because she was doing it slowly enough for another Uber to have time to stop her before permanent damage was done. I imagine the organization that oversees the StarTroopers is also rather concerned that Ivanka seems to have no background in law enforcement, military, or medical. Before the disastrous train stop I believe she implied that she was a Lit/History major?
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21 Mar 2018 13:46 #58926 by shadar
Replied by shadar on topic StarTroopers

jumperprime wrote: I hope a future chapter will give us a glimpse of the political turmoil Ivanka's little rampage is likely to have set off. A Russian Uber not only botches the train-stop test so badly she completely destroyed the train and almost killed the engineers and examiner, she then attempted to murder the examiner and he only survived because she was doing it slowly enough for another Uber to have time to stop her before permanent damage was done. I imagine the organization that oversees the StarTroopers is also rather concerned that Ivanka seems to have no background in law enforcement, military, or medical. Before the disastrous train stop I believe she implied that she was a Lit/History major?


Even worse, the Russians insist that she’s a part of the first “gunship” we deploy to go after the bugs. The tactical advisor on that ship is John, the examiner she threatened to kill.

High stakes and a tricky bit of politics with John in the middle.

The hotshot pilot of the gunship is named Carmen and she looks astoundingly like Denise Richards. Still working on selecting the rest of the crew... most of them Ubers.

Shadar

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21 Mar 2018 14:15 #58927 by jumperprime
Replied by jumperprime on topic StarTroopers

shadar wrote: Even worse, the Russians insist that she’s a part of the first “gunship” we deploy to go after the bugs. The tactical advisor on that ship is John, the examiner she threatened to kill.

High stakes and a tricky bit of politics with John in the middle.


Oh, John will NOT be happy about that. He will strongly object to her being one of the engines, citing her complete and total fuckup on the train stop test, he'll probably strongly object to her being on the ship at all citing that and her little attempt to kill him, which likely resulted in a dust up with multiple Ubers beyond the atmosphere. Ivanka is a loose cannon, and while she may be top tier in strength, her control and personality are both gravely lacking.
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22 Mar 2018 21:30 - 22 Mar 2018 21:31 #58938 by shadar
Replied by shadar on topic StarTroopers

TwiceOnThursdays wrote: I like the restrictions. The transformation isn't permanent, the women need repeated exposure (and hence swallow some to always keep it on hand). And there is the implication that if it fully wears off, you die.

Add to this the initial "if you look at it you die" part, making it dangerous to even test. It did seem that something extra was going on, as why would someone stare at something so deadly w/o protection ... I surprise that it partially affected her, and that made her drawn to it and "want to see more...".


As far as Amy's daring attempt to stare into the rocks, given everything up to that point said you'd die doing that, I agree that there was a compelling draw that she couldn't resist. BECAUSE she had the right gene combo in her DNA. All by design.

As far as the "(and hence swallow some to always keep it on hand)", that was the way at first, but it had unpleasant limitations in that you had to keep capturing and recycling the bits of crystal. Amy developed a device that holds a tiny bit of crystal and locks it into the cervix, where it's carefully inserted. Installed in that very safe spot (given an invulnerable woman), the crystal can stay indefinitely. (I don't think any Ubers are going to get pregnant, given everything is presumably invulnerable, including their ova.)

In such a way, it's out of the way and securely fixed, and also located close to the core of their body.

Seems like an appropriate place for a superwoman's power to come from, at least to me.

Fast forward from there to Ariel's "healing power" which she channels from the crystal. That works best on men because they have the ability to get at least one part of themselves very close to that bit of crystal to enable the energy flow.

Or course, no one, including Ariel, really knows any more than this about why it works for her. I haven't decided if its a unique skill that she has, or if some other Ubers have it as well.


Shadar
Last edit: 22 Mar 2018 21:31 by shadar.

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22 Mar 2018 21:34 - 22 Mar 2018 21:35 #58939 by jumperprime
Replied by jumperprime on topic StarTroopers

shadar wrote: Or course, no one, including Ariel, really knows any more than this about why it works for her. I haven't decided if its a unique skill that she has, or if some other Ubers have it as well.


That would be rather funny if all the Ubers who can do it think they're the only one who can, and keep it a secret for the same reason Ariel is.
Last edit: 22 Mar 2018 21:35 by jumperprime. Reason: One too many quote tags

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22 Mar 2018 22:01 #58940 by shadar
Replied by shadar on topic StarTroopers

jumperprime wrote:

shadar wrote: Or course, no one, including Ariel, really knows any more than this about why it works for her. I haven't decided if its a unique skill that she has, or if some other Ubers have it as well.


That would be rather funny if all the Ubers who can do it think they're the only one who can, and keep it a secret for the same reason Ariel is.


I won't rule that out at this point. I'll have to see how the story unfolds to decide which way makes sense as a plot device.

I will say, that given the Ubers are all drawn from military, police or intel agents at this point (supposedly), which as a group are conservative and serious warrior types, and not porn stars, its unlikely any of them would want to demonstrate it for an audience. Or want to even talk about it at all.

But once in space and dealing with casualties, who knows what we'll discover. I've been leaning toward Ariel being special, but not because I have a specific use for her uniqueness. We'll see what happens when they start taking casualties out in space and away from any help.

Shadar

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25 Mar 2018 02:00 #58950 by shadar
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I've just uploaded Episode Three. This one is Area51 focused with flying saucers and the whole deal, although it won't be what you expect, I don't think.
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27 Mar 2018 12:43 #58969 by Monty
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shadar wrote:

Monty wrote: This looks relly good and very promising. A great concept there. I must admit, I was half-wxpecting a super Denise Richards (oh, yeah) when I started reading. Perhaps she could turn out to be captain of the ship?


I’d forgotten about Denise. Always a favorite of mine. I’ll definitely beam a young Denise (or maybe her identical-looking granddaughter) into the story. Tks for suggestion.

Shtadar


Hi Shadar. I think I may have found the daughter or neice of Denise Richards for your story. The likeness of the pair is extraordinary (and she even has a Super name). I'll try and pm you later with her details to keep her under wraps.

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27 Mar 2018 16:15 #58970 by shadar
Replied by shadar on topic StarTroopers

Monty wrote:

shadar wrote:

Monty wrote: This looks relly good and very promising. A great concept there. I must admit, I was half-wxpecting a super Denise Richards (oh, yeah) when I started reading. Perhaps she could turn out to be captain of the ship?


I’d forgotten about Denise. Always a favorite of mine. I’ll definitely beam a young Denise (or maybe her identical-looking granddaughter) into the story. Tks for suggestion.

Shtadar


Hi Shadar. I think I may have found the daughter or neice of Denise Richards for your story. The likeness of the pair is extraordinary (and she even has a Super name). I'll try and pm you later with her details to keep her under wraps.


Sounds interesting, Monty. You can always directly email me at shadar@mac.com if you wish. That's my public email for anything uber-related.

Shadar

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28 Mar 2018 10:36 #58981 by The Highlander
Replied by The Highlander on topic StarTroopers
Thanks for another two good chapters (although still no hot British redheads). I'm not entirely keen on the relationship between Ariel and John but did like the rather original fate of her boyfriend, not something you often see in superhero stories. One small mistake I noticed, when they are talking about Ariel being 73 percentile I think you meant to say Ivanka the second time instead of Ariel.

I was impressed by Area 51 and the planned spaceships, it all came across as very realistic given the circumstances. I was surprised to read that the Ubers powering the ship were going to be pushing on yokes, but it does make sense to allow one person to control the ship. I'm looking forward to seeing how well the 'engines' respond to controls. It was also good to read the descriptions of the Ubers building the ships, again something that makes a lot of sense given the circumstances. Although of course they would need a lot of direction from engineers etc, strength alone is no substitute for knowledge and experience when it comes to design and construction. Incidentally I have a background in engineering so if you want some advice let me know.

Finally I was impressed with the way John dealt with Carmen, making sensible practical suggestions and treating her as a fellow soldier rather than trying to show off. It will be good to see how they get on in the future.

All in all a very good story, looking forward to reading the next chapter.
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28 Mar 2018 17:34 #58992 by shadar
Replied by shadar on topic StarTroopers

The Highlander wrote: Thanks for another two good chapters (although still no hot British redheads). I'm not entirely keen on the relationship between Ariel and John but did like the rather original fate of her boyfriend, not something you often see in superhero stories. One small mistake I noticed, when they are talking about Ariel being 73 percentile I think you meant to say Ivanka the second time instead of Ariel.

I was impressed by Area 51 and the planned spaceships, it all came across as very realistic given the circumstances. I was surprised to read that the Ubers powering the ship were going to be pushing on yokes, but it does make sense to allow one person to control the ship. I'm looking forward to seeing how well the 'engines' respond to controls. It was also good to read the descriptions of the Ubers building the ships, again something that makes a lot of sense given the circumstances. Although of course they would need a lot of direction from engineers etc, strength alone is no substitute for knowledge and experience when it comes to design and construction. Incidentally I have a background in engineering so if you want some advice let me know.

Finally I was impressed with the way John dealt with Carmen, making sensible practical suggestions and treating her as a fellow soldier rather than trying to show off. It will be good to see how they get on in the future.

All in all a very good story, looking forward to reading the next chapter.


Thanks for the great feedback.

The Ariel relationship thing will get sorted out, hopefully in ways that work for you. One thing about John is that he’s old school military, and shagging a crewmember is not in his DNA.

I’ve got so much more written that I could publish another three episodes now, but I’m waiting another day or two to as I sort out a few things and clean up. I will say that I’m expecting to throw a bunch of surprises your way yet this week.

I will reveal that one of the Flight Crew (which on the Roci means someone who mans a yoke at a flight station), happens to be a redhead from the Highlands who is also an electrical engineer. Everyone on the the Roci crew has two jobs, out of necessity. And a very amart, practical and dogmatic Scottish lass is an asset.

Shadar

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29 Mar 2018 18:21 #59015 by The Highlander
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I think I can guess what will happen to Ariel. I guess I'm maybe a bit old fashioned but I prefer a couple to have some sort of connection before they leap into bed.

Glad to hear there's more episodes coming soon and I'm excited about the Scottish flight crew. Looking forward to seeing her, and let me know if you want me to help you with some Scottish words/phases. I've got lots of experience after all!

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29 Mar 2018 20:02 - 29 Mar 2018 20:43 #59016 by shadar
Replied by shadar on topic StarTroopers

The Highlander wrote: I think I can guess what will happen to Ariel. I guess I'm maybe a bit old fashioned but I prefer a couple to have some sort of connection before they leap into bed.

Glad to hear there's more episodes coming soon and I'm excited about the Scottish flight crew. Looking forward to seeing her, and let me know if you want me to help you with some Scottish words/phases. I've got lots of experience after all!


I've portrayed Caitlan, a Highlander, as having a strong accent, but I haven't written that into the story. Don't know how and I'm moving fast, trying to get a couple of large episodes posted today.

I guess we'll just have to imagine her accent, or tweak it later with your help. I've tried to put a little Russian and Ukrainian accents into a couple of characters, and it isn't working well, so I'm afraid to try Scottish.

As far as sexiness in my stories... that comes with the territory for me. Whether it's respectful or not depends on the reader, but you'll notice that nearly all my POV lead characters are men dealing with the challenges and wonders of superwomen.

I like good storytelling, but it comes with a bit of my kink.

Shadar
Last edit: 29 Mar 2018 20:43 by shadar.

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