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Picture and story idea

26 Dec 2007 20:51 #11245 by Berkhart
Picture and story idea was created by Berkhart
This picture inspired me to write a little while ago...

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Here's a little preview of what I've been working on. Let me know if it's worthwhile...

Lost in completing the pile of paperwork, Gary lost track of time. The alarm on his wrist watch snapped him back to reality though. A sudden feeling of dread washed over Gary, and he glanced at the time.

“Shit! Elevn o’clock! The parking meter!”

Leaping from his chair and out of the office, Gary sprinted down the four flights of stairs, while fishing through his pockets for change. Four minutes later, and with a quarter in his hand, he was relieved to find his car still in its parking place. Despite his good fortune, Gary knew he wasn’t safe yet, and he made a b-line toward the expired parking meter.

Just as he placed a quarter into the slot, but before he could twist the knob, a familiar rumble caused the ground to tremble ever so slightly. Seconds later, a tanned and gold colored blur accompanied by a powerful wind forced Gary out of the way. Stopping in an instant, the blur turned out to be a young blonde woman, clad in a glittery gold bikini.

“Sorry Gary, gonna have to give ya a ticket.”, the blond said. Her tone and slight smirk told Gary that his ex-girlfriend was feeling anything but apologetic.

“But Mary Sue”, he pleaded, before a glare from the uber powered meter maid stopped him in mid sentence.

Gulping, Gary corrected himself, “S-Sorry, I mean Officer Evans. But I was just putting some money into the meter before you got here.”

Mary Sue seemed unimpressed though. Ignoring his explanation, she filled out a ticket and moved to place it on the windshield of his car. Still not completely in control of her newfound strength, Mary Sue snapped the windshield wiper away as she lifted it. Holding the broken piece of plastic in her hand, she stared at blankly for a second.

Then shrugging her shoulders and giggling airly, she placed the ticked and broken wiper onto the windshield with a playful pat.

Outraged at the latest indignity he suffered at the hands of his former girlfriend, Gary lost control ever so briefly.

“You…you stupid bitch. You’re gonna pay for that wiper…”

A second, more intense glare from Mary Sue stole Gary’s courage though, and kept him from continuing.

“Excuse me?”, she hissed, while taking a stop toward her ex...

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26 Dec 2007 21:26 #11246 by argonaut
Replied by argonaut on topic Re: Picture and story idea
Nice! :D "Newly-empowered super-woman getting payback against a cheating / abusive / jerky boy-friend" is a scenario I've always enjoyed. I'm curious to learn more about these characters' back-stories and to find out what happens next. I get the impression that Mary Sue has been making Gary's life miserable 24/7 -- and enjoying every minute of it. More, please!

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30 Dec 2007 15:00 #11273 by Berkhart
Replied by Berkhart on topic Re: Picture and story idea
Thanks Argonaut. There'll be more interactions between Mary Sue and her ex in this story. What I really want to do though, is see how a newly powered woman would go about life in a small town that lacks a suitable super villain nemesis (at least for now).

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30 Dec 2007 18:11 #11274 by argonaut
Replied by argonaut on topic Re: Picture and story idea
That's good, too -- a would-be super-heroine in a town where there's not much for her to do besides write parking tickets and bust jaywalkers.

Maybe she turns into a "super control freak" ...

Six-year-old Billy Connor came out of the corner drugstore, unwrapping his Three Musketeers bar. He let the wrapper fall to the sidewalk as he raised the candy to his mouth ...

He blinked. That lady in the shiny bathing suit was suddenly standing right in front of him. Her hands were on her hips and she was looking down at him with an angry look on her face.

"Pick up that candy wrapper, Billy," she said. "For heaven's sake, I just cleaned this street with a blast of my super-breath. Can't you try to keep it clean for five minutes?"

Billy's lower lip trembled. "Yes, ma'am," he said tearfully, picking up the wrapper. "I'm sor -- " But the lady had disappeared.

Billy turned around, wondering where she had gone. A man was sitting on the bench outside Floyd's Barber Shop. His clothes were all rumpled and his eyes were red and he smelled funny, like he hadn't taken a bath for a while.

"Hey, kid," Greg mumbled, catching Billy's eye. "Welcome to
my life."

Sorry, B -- not trying to hijack your story, but that little vignette just popped into my head and I had to write it down.

Happy New Year! :D

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30 Dec 2007 18:15 #11275 by argonaut
Replied by argonaut on topic Re: Picture and story idea
Oops! That should have been "Gary," not "Greg."

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31 Dec 2007 03:50 #11276 by Berkhart
Replied by Berkhart on topic Re: Picture and story idea
Cool...that's the general idea I'm working on.

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31 Dec 2007 04:11 #11277 by argonaut
Replied by argonaut on topic Re: Picture and story idea
I'm reminded of that old Twilight Zone episode about the little boy with supernatural powers who keeps the townsfolk in a constant state of abject terror ...

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31 Dec 2007 16:45 #11292 by Sarge395
Replied by Sarge395 on topic Re: Picture and story idea

I'm reminded of that old Twilight Zone episode about the little boy with supernatural powers who keeps the townsfolk in a constant state of abject terror ...


That was also in the Twilight Zone movie with better special effects. Too bad it wasn't a young girl.

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31 Dec 2007 18:18 #11293 by argonaut
Replied by argonaut on topic Re: Picture and story idea
Better effects, yes ... but the television episode sticks in my mind far more vividly than the movie segment.

It was also spoofed on a Hallowe'en episode of The Simpsons.

Agreed -- someone should rewrite it with an ubergirl in place of the little boy!

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01 Jan 2008 02:56 #11295 by ace191
Replied by ace191 on topic Re: Picture and story idea
How can you improve on Billy Mummy, BEFORE he got Lost in Space?

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01 Jan 2008 17:27 #11302 by Captain Marbles
Replied by Captain Marbles on topic Re: Picture and story idea
Well, you know, there was a sequel of sorts, wherein Anthony Fremont, that all powerful boy from the Twilight Zone episode, "It's A Good Life" has grown up and has a daughter with all of his power, and then some. It was an episode of The New Twilight Zone called "It's Still A Good Life."

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01 Jan 2008 17:37 #11303 by Captain Marbles
Replied by Captain Marbles on topic Re: Picture and story idea
Here's that episode, from YouTube.

Part One:



Part Two:



Part Three:



Maybe someone could write a sequel to this sequel?

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01 Jan 2008 18:03 #11304 by argonaut
Replied by argonaut on topic Re: Picture and story idea
That was the series with Forrest Whittaker, right? I don't recall seeing that episode. I'll have to check it out. Thanks for sharing!

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