Looking for feedback

Hi everyone. Since I've got myself a new asus mini-pc, means i can write stuff down anytime if i get an idea. Wrote this on the bus to work yesterday.

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“Wake up, Miss Marshall.”

Bethany opened her eyes, greeted only by darkness. The voice echoed all around her. She tried to sit up, but could not. As she strained her body to sit upright, her eyes grew accustomed to the low light in the room. Restraints her held wrists down onto what appeared to be a metal slab, as a similar larger restraint held her chest down.

“Please do not struggle. My client does not wish to see you come to harm. They have been looking for someone like you for a long time, and do not wish you...damaged...”

“Who the hell are you? Is this some sort of sick joke?”

She waited for an answer as she continued to struggle. As she strained against the chest restraint, it tightened on her body, pushing her bosom upwards an giving her a more impressive cleavage than usual....She stopped. She was wearing a jumper when she passed out, She shouldn't be able to see her cleavage....

“I hope you like the new clothes we've given you. After all it's why my client..why I have brought you here.”

A soft light shone down on Bethany from above. She gasped as she saw she was now clothed in a replica of Superwoman's famous costume. However, DeeAnn Donovan's red and blue had been replaced with black and silver, the famous S-shield slightly deformed..twisted. Her astonishment quickly turned to rage, accompanied by a feeling of nausea in her stomach.

“What are you doing to me?? Why are you dressing me up...dressing me like HER.”

She felt a disturbance, a change in the atmosphere to her left.

“Because I want to give you a gift. A chance to avenge a wrongdoing,”

The voice gave way to a man who walked up to the table beside Bethany. Dressed in a smart suit, his greying hair parted neatly off to one side, he gave Bethany a warming smile.

“You see my dear, I have searched for someone like you all over the world. Someone among the millions who have been touched by the 'kindness' of Superwoman. Someone who has felt the same sense of loss as I did. When she let my wife...My beautiful wife, die. Needlessly. And so I swore revenge, One day, I told her, I would avenge what she did to me. And you are my instrument. You will avenge the death of my wife....the death of your love, and rid the world of the so-called 'superheroine' Superwoman.”

Bethany grimaced, a tear rolling off her cheek.

“Why didn't she help him...why did she not save my Brian.... She helps thousands of people every day...WHY NOT MY LOVE?????”

The man smiled again.

“Good. good. Let those feelings come out. Don't hold them back. They will bring you strength when the time comes. But for now, this is the time which you must make the decision. There is no turning back after this.”

His demeanour grew serious, his face darkening.

“Do you hate DeeAnn Donovan?”

“Yes”

“Do you want vengeance for what has been taken from you?”

“YES”

The face softened, then bent down beside her ear.

“Then claim your destiny, and have your revenge.” he whispered. With that, he backed out of the light.

Silence..........

“Hello? Are you there? What do I do now? How do I get....”

The sentence stopped in her throat as she felt a rush of adrenaline surge through her body. Her hands curled into fists as she felt her muscles bulging under her new identity. She smirked as she felt power coursing through her veins. With a flourish, she ripped her arms and the restraints free. Breathing in, she focused on her chest muscles, readying them. Expelling, she pushed with the force of her chest, snapping the restraint in two. She stood up on the table, flexing her muscles.

“Superwoman will pay for what she has done to me. I will show her the meaning of pain. I will show you the meaning of suffering. Just like you showed me. DEATH TO SUPERWOMAN!!”

She pointed upwards, and leapt up, accelerating as she broke through the ceiling, an evil smirk adorning her once angelic features.

Iiiiinteresting :twisted:

A great start. Not a big muscle fan but I really like how it is going.

Great idea Mike, transformatirxes can be a bitch