Nachalnik

I've embarked on a quest to write a genre book that I plan to self-publish on Amazon called Nachalnik. I've posted the first few chapters here, and will follow with more as I work through the book. I figure it's time to get a book out there with the claim "First published on Superwomanmania.com", or perhaps, "As seen on Superwomanmania.com".

Of course, specific references to current public figures will get tweaked to something else in the actual book. ,

I'm trying to make it a political/military thriller that strongly overlaps our genre, but also as close to real-time events as possible. That and some time travel concepts that I enjoyed from the Starz TV show Outlander.

Feedback or suggestions are always welcome.

Shadar

I feel bad that i've not commented on the story. I am way behind on reading/commenting on stories.

But i did give it a first read and found it fantastic. It was quite well done and I'm excited to read more. I do think making it mirror the real world, but making it a generic President, Secretary of State, Putin (etc), will be better. Tying them to specific people has a cache of reality, but it also is a bit jarring.

I guess Dark Knight did it with Reagan. But it almost detracts -- then people start projecting political thoughts onto the story, and for most people, those are just irrational. (I say this about members of BOTH political parties.) It might be good to NOT reveal the political party of the "Generic President" (etc), that way people get to project onto that what they want. That is if you can do so, it might become a necessary part of a political thriller.

I'm still digesting the story -- there was a lot in it. But it's much better written than most self-published things on Amazon (I say having read a bunch of them).

TwiceOnThursdays wrote: I feel bad that i've not commented on the story. I am way behind on reading/commenting on stories.

But i did give it a first read and found it fantastic. It was quite well done and I'm excited to read more. I do think making it mirror the real world, but making it a generic President, Secretary of State, Putin (etc), will be better. Tying them to specific people has a cache of reality, but it also is a bit jarring.

I guess Dark Knight did it with Reagan. But it almost detracts -- then people start projecting political thoughts onto the story, and for most people, those are just irrational. (I say this about members of BOTH political parties.) It might be good to NOT reveal the political party of the "Generic President" (etc), that way people get to project onto that what they want. That is if you can do so, it might become a necessary part of a political thriller.

I'm still digesting the story -- there was a lot in it. But it's much better written than most self-published things on Amazon (I say having read a bunch of them).

Feedback, both on the forum and otherwise, has been pretty consistent that using real life characters is a problem. So I'm changing Putin to Petrov, Lasrov to Antonov, Obama to Sonya Bergstrom (not the first female president) and Kerry to Carole Nichols (the first female secretary of state). Names that don't come with any baggage. Maybe I can have some fun with a female president, showing how she and her secretary of state can be effective leaders when facing a military threat. Something that is of some topical interest for many Americans.

I plan to maintain the Canadian perspective for the protagonist. Living in the borderlands, I get an earful of both American and Canadian views.The best local FM stations beam out of Vancouver in any case, so I've got a foot in both countries.

To your point, I'll avoid national politics and focus on the international variety, which is always open season. I don't feel bad picking on the Russians.

The Ukraine and its conflicts are likely to be around for a while, so am not going to change that.

Brantley found some opportunities for improvement in the first part, so I'll include those when I repost the first part with the name changes. That way when Part 2 is ready it won't be so jarring.

And I ask forgiveness from my kin in northern Scotland for nuking the place. But I'm not changing the place names. Besides, I'm sure Fats is familiar with RAF Lossiemouth. Not sure if an American diplomatic aircraft carrying a world-changing secret would use that field for emergency fuel, but I figured its one of the most remote places on the mainland of Great Britain.

My goal is to deliver the writing quality and character development of a mainstream published thriller, but with strong genre content (which you won't find in mainstream novels). Publishing a book and selling a few copies is on my bucket list.

And given the still building fascination with superheroes and supervillains, perhaps there might be a larger than usual audience for alternative genre characters. But who knows how long that interest will last before being replaced by the next thing, whatever that becomes. Over-saturation can result in burn-out. A worry given the way so many studios and producers are jumping on the bandwagon.

Anyway, thanks for the thoughtful feedback.

Shadar

Good start. Hope it makes a mint when you get it published. I figure the Supergirl TV seriies may create a market for superheroine fiction.. But I wonder what Tolkien fans will make of it...

--Brantley

shadar wrote: I've embarked on a quest to write a genre book that I plan to self-publish on Amazon called Nachalnik. I've posted the first few chapters here, and will follow with more as I work through the book. I figure it's time to get a book out there with the claim "First published on Superwomanmania.com", or perhaps, "As seen on Superwomanmania.com".
Shadar

Well, my second Kindle short, Breaking The Band was a heavily rewritten version of an old workshop entry of mine, but that doesn't really count. Given how slowly my own novel is coming along (the second draft is lying in a ditch somewhere after being set upon by hooligans), I imagine you'll beat me by a country mile.

I'm sure you're on top of things, but if there's anything I can help with in terms of formatting or generating MOBI, or with navigating the Kindle self-publishing, let me know. It's not hard, but there are a few gotchas here and there.

Good luck with your project. It's an exhilarating feeling when someone buys something I've written, even if it's a small number.

The critique I would give of it is-the stuff strangely that if this is a novel that I responded least to maybe the kind of genre stuff-ie the kind of implied romance between the leads.

It can be there certainly but I would pace it out a little better-and perhaps not make it so one sided though stuff like that is tricky to do in first person-perhaps keep more of the note of danger or something. But so far so good.

one concept that may work here that I did think is....


Part of the message is hidden for the guests. Please log in or register to see it.


But what ever you do good work in the novel game.

castor wrote: The critique I would give of it is-the stuff strangely that if this is a novel that I responded least to maybe the kind of genre stuff-ie the kind of implied romance between the leads.

It can be there certainly but I would pace it out a little better-and perhaps not make it so one sided though stuff like that is tricky to do in first person-perhaps keep more of the note of danger or something. But so far so good.

one concept that may work here that I did think is....



But what ever you do good work in the novel game.

I think i follow you, Castor. Overly one-sided due to first person... Good point. I'll work on that.

As far your suggestion, that's intriguing. Maybe Neya is the only real supergirl (and not human) while the rest is an elaborate fake backed up by follow on testing of Neya. Which says she and Putin/Petrov are on the same page. Maybe she's his secret girlfriend.

More danger... I got that.