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The honking of geese (a notebook)

12 Sep 2016 02:40 #50196 by Grayface
Replied by Grayface on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
Ah, in regards to Best. Day. Ever. I quite enjoyed this story.

Honestly that was a great read. I'd love to see more of the trio exploits. Man you've realy been firing on all cylinders lately, hitting one out of the park after another.
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12 Sep 2016 10:20 - 20 Sep 2016 15:57 #50199 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
I'm glad you enjoyed it :). I'm gonna have to remember this one -- or the process, rather -- for a long while. Because when it first hit the page I was far from satisfied. I've been accused of droning on about literary theory, but indulge me a moment. It is a notebook after all.

B.D.E. built off of a couple pleasing gags (the thunder/lighting confusion at the beginning was really why I started writing it down at all). It's also just about 100% plot free, which gives it fewer hooks to hang from :P. Really, there's only sex and jokes simmering in this pot and sometimes that leaves the soup a little thin for me. I liked the slight element of bait-and-switch that it starts with an ubergirl, hero of her own story, but then things escalate madly. Surprise! But initially Sylvia's transformation was... routine.

I'm probably over 30 hard 'read-through's into it now, trying to punch it up or sanding down bits that don't sound right in my ear (and fuck me blue, the typos, they're everywhere!). One problem with my prolific phases is I remember what I've written lately. And since one of the rules ground into me somewhere along the line is don't repeat yourself (unless specifically evoking echoes) I start getting boxed in not just by that story but by all those others too. I don't want to cut-and-paste Ella, even by accident, no matter how much I enjoyed her little upwelling :). So the initial draft was pretty brief. All the little quirks I could think of in the moment.

As frustrating as typo hunts are, the re-writing is definitely where this story started to perk up. It's taken a few days for it to take on a more pleasing heft. Emphasizing the initial awkwardness of a wish poorly thought out. Letting Sylvia exercise her imagination more even while the core process had pretty much only one destination all along. Giving the roomies a few more moments in the (silver-white) sun.

I will point out the two things in it I enjoy the most. They'll probably reveal me for the oddball I am, but here they are :laugh:.

Sophie gestured she wanted to look at it again and Bree passed it over.

That's just about pure "AuGoose" right there. I love non-verbal cues and non-verbal communication. A two-way exchange with no words at all. Score! Watching how people move and communicate is fascinating to me because I -don't- have an instinctive sense for it. If you want to see AuGoose spazzing out, just watch me watching television -- So. Damn. Often. I see actors and not characters because they're saying "Trust me" or "This is what happened" and they are shaking their heads in negation. The mouth says 'yes' and the rest of the body screams at me 'not even a little bit'. Because they're acting. Lying. That kind of mismatch drives me into a frenzy. One that occasionally makes me do or say stupid shit all out of proportion. Things I'm still apologizing for :unsure:. Other people enjoy the show just fine. It's idiosyncratic to me. I'm the point of failure in the exchange.

The other highlight of B.D.E. for me is the gag I'm most proud of. "Say when..." "When." Mostly because it was unplanned, revealing itself mid-way through the edits. The lead in is just Sylvia's verbal style. A mix of mischievous and thoughtful. The counter bubbling up organically from Bree's more subdued wit. It's always great when even a little bit of a story writes itself, but when the jokes write themselves even the author gets to honestly laugh. A nice pay off for hours toiling in the word-mines :laugh: .

Grayface wrote: I'd love to see more of the trio exploits.


...That's always tricky. In part because that begins to get into world building, which is exercising a very different skill set and appeals to a very different sensibility. By request I took up a continuation for Kneel Before Zoe, and while I'm pleased with the results, sometimes I think it was a mistake to do so. I'm not sure folks actually want to see an evil supergirl the way I would explore the concept (a nagging doubt as I continue to scribble down notes for The Last Bouquet). As described in other recent threads on the process of uberfication, the sweet honeymoon phase the characters experience is reflected in the audience. It is a tough act to follow, and hats off to those who take up that gauntlet.

I've got a couple of time consuming projects coming up for the next few days, so I'm not expecting to get much writing in. Expect me when you see me :). And thanks again.

Update: A quick shout out to Red Five for his able assistance in localization for Best. Day. Ever. Thanks! :)
Last edit: 20 Sep 2016 15:57 by AuGoose.
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15 Sep 2016 16:35 - 29 Nov 2016 16:35 #50262 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
And then the muse said "You'll write it and you'll like it." And one does not argue with the muse :).

...So, my first piece of DC erotic fanfic. Odd.
How to Make a Bat Sandwich
by AuGoose
Warning: Spoiler!
Last edit: 29 Nov 2016 16:35 by AuGoose.
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17 Sep 2016 19:38 - 10 Oct 2016 13:46 #50303 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
So this one's been hung for months. I'm gonna see if putting it out in the public eye motivates me to do the necessary read after read after read to fix it.

Update: Heh. Its only been up for minutes and it's already been eviscerated by the readers paying more attention than I did. Good eye, Lojack, and thanks! (I'll fix it after some TV binge-watching I've been promising myself for days ;))
The Games that We Play (IX. The Hermit)
A Quantum Tarot - Part IV
By Au Goose
Warning: Spoiler!
Last edit: 10 Oct 2016 13:46 by AuGoose.
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19 Sep 2016 14:13 - 19 Sep 2016 14:17 #50321 by koopa
Replied by koopa on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
Wow... Like many, I found myself out of things to say, but those last entries are so damn GOOD.
In Best Day Ever you really brought the eroticism of a female turning into an ubergirl to new heights. The richness of your vocabulary and your sense of metaphor just makes it extra awesome for me everytime.

Really loved your Bat Sandwich entry as well. It's so fresh and it's nice to see that you somehow kept the characters faithful to their DC universe "official personality' (especially Bat and PG) while adding some crazy-fun-sexual plot twist ! That was really hot and fun.

The last "in progress" addition of Zoe was great too. In this chapter, really like how introspective Zoe, this make me connect to the character even more. The action scenes were great as well.
I somehow regret that Zoe's quest for "more" seems pointless at this time given that she is already beyond superhuman. But I just like this character so much.

Thank you!

Hope you'll keep honking :)
Last edit: 19 Sep 2016 14:17 by koopa.
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21 Sep 2016 09:12 #50356 by Woodclaw
Replied by Woodclaw on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
While I had the occasion to discuss some bits of this story with Au in chat the opening of this last Zoe story took me a bit off guard. While the narrative is solid and I greatly appreciate the dispassionate view Au delivered on some super-power -- like superspeed -- I never expected it from Zoe. While it does make sense, hearing it from her is a facet of her character that we never experienced before and that I didn't expect, but it's very welcome nonetheless.
The party was a tad more tricky, it comes dangerously close to one of my most hated tropes: having a character putting herself in a less than optimal situation because she craves some kind of additional challenge. This is especially bad for characters that are built around the idea of being very efficient operative, because it's the polar opposite of field efficiency. Luckily it doesn't seem that Zoe would do that "too intentionally", so I'm good.
The chat at the end was pure gold for me because, save from the being shot moment, that entire scene would play the same with or without superpowers. This was a moment were skill and personalities counted more than powers and Zoe had a challenge that felt real because she was at a disadvantage that her powers couldn't immediately gap. Her worst enemy in this scene was herself and her needs, her antagonist had something she wanted (information and the key for her to get ehr privacy back) and wasn't afraid to gamble them against her need for a challenge.

All in all, this is a series that is still developing, but had already provided us with many excellent bits of world-building and characterization and I'm all to happy to see more.

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22 Sep 2016 17:13 - 22 Sep 2016 17:14 #50395 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)

koopa wrote: Wow... Like many, I found myself out of things to say, but those last entries are so damn GOOD.


I'm glad you're enjoying them. All three of them are actually examples of different ways I struggle, so I'm happy they seem to have come out well (or will come out well with Zoe, as there's still some primary writing to be done there before it might be library ready).

In Best Day Ever you really brought the eroticism of a female turning into an ubergirl to new heights. The richness of your vocabulary and your sense of metaphor just makes it extra awesome for me every time.


You'll (hopefully) be pleased this comment was very helpful for doing my final pass over the text before kicking that gosling out of the nest - going over it with an eye towards Sylvia's own awareness and enjoyment of the process. Her joy at being the canvass for the painting she was creating. Finding new metaphors for a couple of shared/common themes is fun, but I sometimes fret that the most commonly used word in my stories after 'the' is 'like' :P.

Really loved your Bat Sandwich entry as well. It's so fresh and it's nice to see that you somehow kept the characters faithful to their DC universe "official personality' (especially Bat and PG) while adding some crazy-fun-sexual plot twist ! That was really hot and fun.


I try not to fish for compliments too hard, but I'm glad to hear back almost anything on this one. It's a break from my usual style (or so I'm told) and I'm still trying to get a handle on the differences. I think part of it is it tends to lean very hard on some of the established elements of the setting it mirrors. I had 2-3 new things I wanted to say about life on the Watchtower, but just saying "Watchtower" shorthands pages of description I'd normally have to do. It also has two very specific joke it wants to tell, and it's possible that reaching that final punch line and finishing is not what the reader expects. I guess I might ordinarily carry on with the last scene to its panting and exhausted conclusion, but that's just not the point this time.

I've been advised it would help to add a few lines at the beginning the clarify which of the myriad incarnations of these characters the reader might want to put foremost in their mind before starting. There's still a certain awkwardness I feel towards it that I -think- is because its not a setting of my creation. I really dunno. May have to do more like it and see what they reveal.

The last "in progress" addition of Zoe was great too. In this chapter, really like how introspective Zoe, this make me connect to the character even more. The action scenes were great as well.

I somehow regret that Zoe's quest for "more" seems pointless at this time given that she is already beyond superhuman. But I just like this character so much.


I haven't had the time to sit down and really work this piece, but putting it up and getting some honest critique of both strong and flawed aspects has helped. Part of what was tripping me up was other chapters had built a consistent structure of three scenes each, and my third scene for this was just a rambling wreck (no, I didn't post that part). Getting into new layout and re-reading what was mostly workable gave me my missing scene - not at the end, but between the the two Zoe sequences. I started to put it up but I've had some problems with chat window behavior causing me to lose work when using the on-line editor, so I've needed to press on in my own word processor, which I just haven't gotten to yet. Its a bit frustrating -- I created this notebook because working in different styles of windows/layout is invigorating for me, and having come to be afraid to work inside this thread for fear of losing text is... Gah.

Hope you'll keep honking :)


I certainly plan to! :laugh:
Last edit: 22 Sep 2016 17:14 by AuGoose.

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15 Oct 2016 23:36 - 16 Oct 2016 08:14 #50744 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
This goose is in the midst of migration, which is not conducive to writing (at least for another week or so) but I've also been attempting to learn how to use some 3D rendering software. Still tons to learn, but so far I'm pleased with the early progress. I'm hoping to eventually decorate most of my stories with some imagery. A quick early sample :)

I need a new computer that renders faster :P.

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Last edit: 16 Oct 2016 08:14 by AuGoose.
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17 Oct 2016 14:51 - 26 Oct 2016 20:55 #50756 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
While I look forward to getting back to wordsmithing once I'm in my winter nesting grounds, playing with the 3D rendering stuff has been an amusing way to pass the time. I think there's hope I will eventually not suck :). The prospect of producing some art for my stories is pretty exciting! (if slightly expensive while I amass tools and assets...)

NSFW ~ an attempts at a pose of Fiona from How the Little Tub met Its Fate (shortly after she bursts out of the locker rooms)

Warning: Spoiler!


Still tinkering :).

Warning: Spoiler!

(note: the yellow background is an artifact of the spoiler tag - it's on a transparent background if you download it)

Edit: Reached my winter nesting grounds, which has given me some uninterrupted time to experiment. Still sorting out lighting rigs (I was kind of over exposing everything after my 'way too dark' phase). Spent some time getting Ella's face just right. I'll probably fiddle with it a little, but it's -much- closer to what I'd been imagining. A few quick samples.

Warning: Spoiler!


Hope you enjoy :).

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Last edit: 26 Oct 2016 20:55 by AuGoose.
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27 Oct 2016 09:36 #50907 by njae
Replied by njae on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
*bump*

All this new content and it doesn't appear in the ticker, what a shame.

I really like these renders.
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27 Oct 2016 21:21 #50914 by Sarge395
Replied by Sarge395 on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
Glad you bumped or I would have missed. The goose has a new toy!

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28 Oct 2016 04:18 #50922 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
Glad you're liking them :). I'd intended to point out my continued tinkering with 3D modeling after I had more text to share. Unfortunately I'm super swamped right now and am a bit concerned about having an entry at all for the Halloween workshop. Tons of idea, not nearly enough words on the page :ohmy:. It'd be very easy to get caught up entirely in rendering and let my writing languish (something I want to avoid!).

DAZ3D is an interesting tool. Fortunately some of my experience with Photoshop is applicable in terms of hot-keys/muscle memory. I do have some sets appropriate to my published stories (bedrooms, deck + hot-tub, a flat, a news studio...) to place characters in but I've been focusing on character-only renders just to keep the render time down on my barbaric hardware while learning how all the switches and knobs work.

More words (and pictures) to come! :)

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08 Nov 2016 19:21 - 08 Nov 2016 19:23 #51107 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
Quick update. I've set up a separate thread for miscellaneous 3D Rendering fun so this thread can stay focused on the joy of scribbling. I've been engaged in some heavy edits for my Halloween offering and B.D.E. Applying lessons learned from studying some of the masters around here, the terrible trio are even hotter with Sophie getting a bit more screen time :woohoo:. I'm also hopping to add an illustration or three to each of those stories before updating or re-posting them.

I've also recently been introduced to Google docs and the options it offers for editing my own manuscripts and offering suggestions to other writers. It's a nifty tool, very much worth checking out (if you haven't already. Odds are good I'm years late to this particular party :)). As an added benefit, once you invite someone to look over a piece if you're both looking at the document at the same time it has a built-in chat system that doesn't blow up my work :pinch:.

So nothing to show yet, but progress is being made.

*honk!*
Last edit: 08 Nov 2016 19:23 by AuGoose.
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27 Nov 2016 07:09 - 04 Dec 2016 20:01 #51418 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
I'd been thinking of saving this until I could repost a complete second edition of Best. Day. Ever. including pictures (with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one telling what its all about...), but the project's running long so I thought I'd provide a little 'proof of life' :). This is an expanded costume masquerade scene. There's a little bit of new set-up for it (and a ton of new text overall - it's a substantial rewrite), but I think it'll stand on its own if you've read B.D.E. before.

There's one bit of telekinetic tomfoolery that's been bouncing around in my head about 10 years now, mostly in the context of a Jean Grey-like mutant just coming into her powers, so its kind of a relief to finally put something like it on paper. Plus, you know, movie quotes!

This is definitely influenced by some of my more recent reading on the site, and I'm exploring a bit of 'playful dominance'. While I expect my male protagonists to give as good as they get more often than not, It IS kind of fun to watch an ubergirl just run over more regular blokes sometimes. All in good fun.

Best Day. Ever.
(take two; MASQUERADE ONLY; WIP)
by Au Goose
Warning: Spoiler!
Last edit: 04 Dec 2016 20:01 by AuGoose.
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27 Nov 2016 22:37 #51425 by dante1265
Replied by dante1265 on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
Long time lurker, first post, and wow, I think nothing ever resonated with me as much as 'Ulterior MMOtive'. It is right up my alley as far as "what does a newfound supergirl do with her power" goes, and as someone who basically lived inside the MMO world in his teens, the story setup invokes a very at-home atmosphere for me. I was bubbling with laughter and memmories when what "Hannah couldn't do was follow all the twisty bullshit that went into Jenny’s build...". Amazing line!


You truly are a great writer. And I love the little bits on literary theory.

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27 Nov 2016 23:27 #51426 by magicalerotica
Replied by magicalerotica on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
It's not that easy to produce quality images on Daz3d. It takes work. :-) Keep it up. You'll get there.
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28 Nov 2016 12:01 - 29 Nov 2016 16:28 #51434 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
Hey :). Just gonna mention the BDE Masquerade scene has more than doubled in length since I posted it. So if "Screen door!" doesn't immediately give you a smirk, you may want to read it again :).

Karen pretty much takes her cues from the ancient Google Images incantation "Samus Cosplay" at which point you pretty much know you're not walking into this masquerade looking like that and getting out anything less than a minor deity :laugh:.

Warning: Spoiler!

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Last edit: 29 Nov 2016 16:28 by AuGoose.
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28 Nov 2016 12:15 - 28 Nov 2016 14:35 #51435 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)

dante1265 wrote: Long time lurker, first post, and wow, I think nothing ever resonated with me as much as 'Ulterior MMOtive'. It is right up my alley as far as "what does a newfound supergirl do with her power" goes, and as someone who basically lived inside the MMO world in his teens, the story setup invokes a very at-home atmosphere for me. I was bubbling with laughter and memories when "what Hannah couldn't do was follow all the twisty bullshit that went into Jenny’s build...". Amazing line!

Ha ha ha ha! :)

Good to hear that tickled your fancy. Hannah's experiences and reactions are challenging for me, as some bits go well outside my comfort zones. So I'm glad they ring true for you - that's really the essence of what I was trying to learn.

I've been both the schemer and the awed onlooker when it comes to exotic builds. Not surprisingly I'm the personality type that likes to take complex things apart and grasp their working piece by part until I can put it back together again. Big surprise, huh? :side:

It's also nice to hear reactions that confirm MMO terminology really is a part of our cultural heritage these days. It's a pleasure to put all that vocabulary to use and not have it wiff.

You truly are a great writer. And I love the little bits on literary theory.

Thank you. I know high praise when I hear it :). Hopefully more little bits (and big bits!) to come. The Muse has been strangely insistent lately. Even if she did eat all the cranberry sauce!
Last edit: 28 Nov 2016 14:35 by AuGoose.

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24 Dec 2016 01:39 - 14 Apr 2020 00:51 #51862 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
Ok this one has a weird story behind the story. I tried to write something like it months ago, got about 4.5k words into it and got frustrated and gave up. Too much technobabble info dump, not enough pacing.

Basically started over. I -may- be able to salvage some of the earlier text as it's setting exposition that's still correct in my head for what underlies what's happening, but the focus now is on pacing rather than power-physics. Entertain first, bamboozle second :).

This is just a little snip I wanted to share before the site goes down. It's not a long story (in my head) so hopefully I'll have the rest ready when our shared lair powers back up. You may recall the Deniken sisters from Aphrodite Can't Swim.
Sides Effects May Include... (part 1)
by Au Goose
Warning: Spoiler!
Last edit: 14 Apr 2020 00:51 by AuGoose.
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24 Dec 2016 04:38 #51864 by jumperprime
Replied by jumperprime on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
Uh oh. The brat snatched the super-shake. This is going to be interesting in the Chinese sense
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24 Dec 2016 14:26 - 24 Dec 2016 14:54 #51874 by Monty
Replied by Monty on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
Thanks Goose This is looking really good! With all the ingredients of the recipe there, you cut off at the perfect moment with the kid sister brat to leave us all in a bit of suspense. Looking forward to the building of this scene!
Last edit: 24 Dec 2016 14:54 by Monty.
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24 Dec 2016 15:32 - 14 Apr 2020 01:05 #51875 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
Sliding in just under the wire -- in fact I won't be surprised if the folks reading this don't see it until after the site's back up. The Muse is amused and commands, "Write, you silly goose."

Monty wrote: Thanks Goose This is looking really good! With all the ingredients of the recipe there, you cut off at the perfect moment with the kid sister brat to leave us all in a bit of suspense. Looking forward to the building of this scene!

Heehee. I admit, I felt like with that set up I could just stop there. The chain reaction at this point already seems a bit inevitable. 'Inevitable' being a word several people have applied to my narratives, mostly as a compliment, I think :). But lately I've been meditating on the Goosebumps quote (amazing that such a powerful saying is actually new):

"Every story ever told can be broken down into three parts: the beginning, the middle, and— ...the twist."

:whistle:

Some minor edits to part one. While I get a chuckle out of characters similar names sometimes, because life does that, clarity is the better call in literature. Three 'J' names is too much. The older sister is no longer Janice but Candace. Hopefully not too confusing as you read part two.

Sides Effects May Include... (part 2)
by Au Goose
Warning: Spoiler!
Last edit: 14 Apr 2020 01:05 by AuGoose.
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25 Dec 2016 00:07 - 14 Apr 2020 01:13 #51879 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
Nothing like a deadline to motivate you! :cheer:

Sides Effects May Include... (part 3)
by Au Goose
Warning: Spoiler!
Last edit: 14 Apr 2020 01:13 by AuGoose.
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25 Dec 2016 02:29 #51880 by slim36
Replied by slim36 on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
Can only hope there's enough secret sauce for the sister to have a chance

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25 Dec 2016 02:39 #51881 by jumperprime
Replied by jumperprime on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)

slim36 wrote: Can only hope there's enough secret sauce for the sister to have a chance


Well, the first time it happened, some water from the pool was able to be used for one repeat elsewhere before it got too diluted, so if they can either take some of the water to another pool or refill and chlorinate that one without Superbrat interfering....

And if that fails, she apparently has a vial of Magic Eight-Ball she's been waffling over.

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