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Two sides to every story - The Dazzling Diamond

03 Jun 2018 05:00 #59691 by Woody
Hi Guys

I've had my first story published here today called "Two sides to Every Story" with a new character called the Dazzling Diamond. The story is based on a couple who are in their 20's who have just moved in together and what goes on behind closed doors when one is a Superheroine. I hope you like it and would love comments and critiques on this as story writing is a relatively new concept for me. I'm mainly a poet and would love the feedback. Hopefully these get better as they go along. 

Also thanks to Njae and Woodclaw for their comments in getting this up and formatted

Cheers
Woody
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17 Jun 2018 14:23 #59903 by Woody
Hi Guys

Woodclaw has edited and published my second work with the Dazzling Diamond - Beginnings
As the title suggests this is the origin story. hopefully one that is new to you.

On that note I like the editing again so thanks Woodclaw and Njae for the advice

Here's where I need some help

I'm after a power set for the Dazzling Diamond now. As you can hopefully see I'm trying to subvert tropes a bit with this so I want slightly unusual abilities. 

So what do you suggest?

As always I hope you like it given this is written in a different style. The next story looks to be back to the Two sides style but combined into one (otherwise it would take forever to read - these are being written as 5-10 min scenes tops)

but after that I'm going to need a power set

Thanks again

Woody 
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17 Jun 2018 15:36 - 17 Jun 2018 16:13 #59905 by Monty
You've certainly set up a great story! I hope we get to see her explore her powers! (I've pm'd you with some fresh ideas that may interest you)
Last edit: 17 Jun 2018 16:13 by Monty.

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26 Jun 2018 13:38 #60016 by Woody
Hi Guy's

Thanks for the comments and feedback on my stories so far. I'm glad that you enjoy them. Unfortunately I've hit a problem that's kicked me outta home for the near future. Basically I can't hook my computer up to the net now so I can't publish any stories. When it's up I'll have chapter three. This one's for the transformation lovers among us.

Cheers
Woody
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26 Jun 2018 20:51 #60026 by Woodclaw

Woody wrote: Hi Guy's

Thanks for the comments and feedback on my stories so far. I'm glad that you enjoy them. Unfortunately I've hit a problem that's kicked me outta home for the near future. Basically I can't hook my computer up to the net now so I can't publish any stories. When it's up I'll have chapter three. This one's for the transformation lovers among us.

Cheers
Woody


If you can send them to me via e-mai using your phone, I can publish them for you.

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06 Oct 2018 16:02 #61487 by Woody
Hi Again

Well its been a stressful few months but i'm finally starting to get back to sense of normality. Wherever you live I hope that your place never floods, It's a dead set nightmare.

I had to put the transformation story on the backburner. I have a new working theory on how to do that but I need to lay some more groundwork, In that regard either tomorrow or next week my next story's coming out (it depends on time frames for editing etc). It's another short one and as always I hope you like it. 

Have a good one 

Woody
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06 Oct 2018 18:27 #61488 by shadar

Woody wrote: Hi Again

Well its been a stressful few months but i'm finally starting to get back to sense of normality. Wherever you live I hope that your place never floods, It's a dead set nightmare.

Have a good one 

Woody


Glad to hear you are digging out. As far as floods, yeah, that one I know too well. The 2004 Tsunami when I lived in Malaysia.

I learned my lesson well enough that I now live on the very top of a tall hill. It would take a Biblical flood to reach me at 1000 feet above the lowlands. On the other hand, I'd eventually have to come down. 

Looking forward to your new stories.

Shadar

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25 Nov 2018 12:43 #62136 by Woody
Hi again

My latest story had me playing with an idea of heroes hiding in plain sight. There's also a bunch of stories about what happens to Stacey at the end of this that I've found hilarious and wanted to put a spin on. I hope you enjoy it. My next one is going to be a while. It's a pretty high meta concept that I want to get right

Cheers
Woody
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26 Feb 2019 13:21 #62975 by Woody
Good evening, morning, whenever you are

I'm just curious - I've submitted about 6 stories now including the latest one Reality Check.

Is this the stuff you want to read or am I thinking i'm on 3rd base when in reality i'm on first.

I Hope that you're liking my stories but the reality is without any feedback I really have no idea. 

So what am I doing right? What am I doing wrong? What do you want to see in these stories?

Cheers

Woody

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27 Feb 2019 18:40 #62987 by Monty
Hi Woody. Feedback (or lack of) is a hard one to call regarding story submissions. Sometimes a story can really grab hold of the reader and involve you, I've written a few with no feedback, but just end up shrugging my shoulders and rolling with the punches. I see any feedback as a good thing, but don't be put out by lack of.comments. Keep writing!
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27 Feb 2019 19:38 #62988 by shadar

Monty wrote: Hi Woody. Feedback (or lack of) is a hard one to call regarding story submissions. Sometimes a story can really grab hold of the reader and involve you, I've written a few with no feedback, but just end up shrugging my shoulders and rolling with the punches. I see any feedback as a good thing, but don't be put out by lack of.comments. Keep writing!


Well said, Monty. Back in the heydey of this genre (90's), stories would get so many comments that it was hard to answer them all. But now with the saturation of media with genre-related stories, and the huge preference for video, movies, TV over written narrative, things have changed. 

My rule is that 95% of my satisfaction from writing a story must to come from the joy of writing it. But a comment or two certainly provides rocket fuel for the muse. That compares to the 90's, where the majority of my motivation and reward came from feedback. The lack of that was hard to adjust to at first, but is no issue now. 

In the end, our stories and our readers don't always connect strongly, but that's the nature of all writing. But when they do, and a nice comment appears, it's pretty wonderful. 

Remember, even those guys who write books that sell in the millions don't get buried in feedback. Sure, they can go onto Amazon and read a few dozen comments on their book, and other places too, and have book signings, etc, but most of there feedback isn't all that thoughtful or impactful. (On the other hand, they are being handed cold hard cash as a feedback mechanism!)

Don't get discouraged. Keep writing, but make sure you enjoy reading what you write. That you aren't doing it just for others. Creating a story out of pure imagination is still a pretty wonderful thing. Almost like magic.  Besides, creativity keeps the brain young and flexible and continues to enhance your skills at simply being imaginative.

Sure beats getting old while staring at cable news and broadcast TV for unending hours of brain-numbing depression while your brain shrinks into dull gray goop filled with negativity. I know too many people like that. When we write, especially in this genre, we transcend the world, and everything is once again bright and shiny and just the way we'd like it to be. If only. If only. 

Shadar
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28 Feb 2019 00:25 #62992 by conceptfan
Replied by conceptfan on topic Two sides to every story - The Dazzling Diamond
Well said, Shadar.
.
Woody, keep writing, keep reading.

Shadar's words "make sure you enjoy reading what you write" sum it up perfectly for me.

If anyone's interested, a tip for engaging readers in a story is: Don't think of writing for an audience, write as if you're "talking" to one person.  How would you tell this story - word for word - if you were talking to your lover / a very good friend / a stranger in a bar far from home / in a letter from jail to your brother / Whatever one-to-one scenario fits the voice/personality of the person telling the story,.  Another tip is: When there's a picture of a scene in your mind, share the scenery with the reader as well as the action to draw them in.

Feedback can be a very rare currency indeed.  Writing superwomen fiction has to be a pleasure, something you enjoy doing for its own sake, rather than something you feel obliged to do to please others.  That way, the writing itself is its own reward, not least because when you are enjoying what you're writing, it's more likely to be coming from the heart (or at least that bit of the brain that is firing when you are passionate about something).
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28 Feb 2019 01:19 - 28 Feb 2019 01:19 #62994 by shadar

conceptfan wrote: Well said, Shadar.
.
Writing superwomen fiction has to be a pleasure, something you enjoy doing for its own sake, rather than something you feel obliged to do to please others.  That way, the writing itself is its own reward, not least because when you are enjoying what you're writing....


I suspect you've had this experience as well, Conceptfan, given you've been writing stories for a fair bit, but sometimes when I come across one of my older minor stories, four, five years, maybe ten, and start reading it, it feels like it was written by somebody else... but a somebody else with very similar interests to mine.  That can be very pleasant and worth a chuckle, especially when I don't remember the story, at least at first. 

I think if we all wrote as if for our future self to read, ten or fifteen years down the road, we might find we get double the pleasure. First pleasure from writing it (can't beat that) and then another pleasure when reading it after mostly forgetting that you ever wrote it. 

Shadar
Last edit: 28 Feb 2019 01:19 by shadar.
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28 Feb 2019 09:01 #63001 by conceptfan
Replied by conceptfan on topic Two sides to every story - The Dazzling Diamond

shadar wrote: but sometimes when I come across one of my older minor stories, four, five years, maybe ten, and start reading it, it feels like it was written by somebody else... but a somebody else with very similar interests to mine.  That can be very pleasant and worth a chuckle, especially when I don't remember the story, at least at first. 

I think if we all wrote as if for our future self to read, ten or fifteen years down the road, we might find we get double the pleasure. First pleasure from writing it (can't beat that) and then another pleasure when reading it after mostly forgetting that you ever wrote it. 

Shadar

Absolutely.  Write stories you yourself want to read, both today and in twenty years.
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01 Mar 2019 06:23 #63024 by ace191
I have written a few stories that did not get the greatest of reviews (or none at all).  The most recent one was Supergirl and Superwoman.  It doesn’t bother because there have been over 11,000 reads on that story so I figure that some of those readers most likely enjoyed it.  That is all the feedback I need.
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01 Mar 2019 06:59 #63025 by shadar
But for all that has been said, we all know how wonderful it is to read a favorable comment on something we wrote.  

That's rocket fuel for the writer. It's amazing how fast the words and ideas flow when you feel appreciated as an author. 

If you like something, taking a few minutes to write a thoughtful comment is almost guaranteed to get you more stuff that you like. 

In my perfect world, three things would be true:

1) A story that delights people gets favorable comments and requests for more.

2) A so-so story gets mostly silence. 

3) A not so great story receives some constructive feedback (literary criticism) to help make the next one better. 


Shadar
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01 Mar 2019 09:44 #63028 by ace191
Well said Shadar.
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01 Mar 2019 13:23 #63030 by Woody
You know I love the smacking irony that of all these comments none gave actual feedback. 

You're points aren't in vain though.  I do write for myself but like most people I do like to know I'm heading in the right direction. 

I'll keep going,  most of my stories have over 1000 hits so that's something.  I'll keep trying new things.  And for some reason I have as part 2 to write as well.....

Cheers

Woody 

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01 Mar 2019 13:55 #63031 by Woodclaw

Woody wrote: You know I love the smacking irony that of all these comments none gave actual feedback. 

You're points aren't in vain though.  I do write for myself but like most people I do like to know I'm heading in the right direction. 

I'll keep going,  most of my stories have over 1000 hits so that's something.  I'll keep trying new things.  And for some reason I have as part 2 to write as well.....

Cheers

Woody 


To be brutally honest asking "What am I doing wrong?" And hoping for a bullet list isn't a good idea in my book. While it's entirely possible to be addressing the wrong crowd (not the case, I think), questions like this easily lead to a purely "crowd driven" narrative that is much more of chore for the author.
For example, one person might answer that he/she wish for goddess level powers, another might ask to nerf your main character. Then what are you going to do?
You can't please them both at the same time, so you have to make choice, but based on what?
This is why I think that any narrative must be, first and foremost, something you enjoy, especially here.

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01 Mar 2019 21:55 #63033 by conceptfan
Replied by conceptfan on topic Two sides to every story - The Dazzling Diamond

Woody wrote: You know I love the smacking irony that of all these comments none gave actual feedback.

Sorry Woody.  I thought I'd avoid being blunt by throwing out some general pointers which I hoped might be useful.

My actual, direct, unfiltered feedback on Dazzling Diamond (this is my personal take, others may disagree): I didn't enjoy the story as much as I'd wanted because I found the style a little staccato (choppy), and the lack of descriptions/scene-setting made it hard for me to immerse myself in your world.   I'd have preferred if you had made your prose flow more by linking short sentences with conjunctions.  And I would have liked you to have been much more descriptive: I get way more "into" a story where the author paints pictures for us readers, rather than giving stage directions.

I really hope you keep writing and honing your style.  Looking forward to reading your future offerings.
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01 Mar 2019 22:26 #63034 by shadar

Woody wrote: You know I love the smacking irony that of all these comments none gave actual feedback. 

Woody 


Try thinking of your words as painting a picture, which once painted, or even while you are painting it, you bring to life. Even more importantly, the goal of a good story is allows the reader to identify with your Point of View character and see the world as he or she does. If done well, then the reader sees the story from inside out. 

Good stories, after all, are about changes to the main character (or alternatively, showing how they stay the same despite forces that should have changed them). They are a slice of life, and all life is about changes and feelings. 

Your current stories are mostly brief bits of dialog with only a small amount of world building. I wasn't able to immerse myself into the story through a POV character or otherwise connect to anyone  

Shadar
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02 Mar 2019 04:43 #63035 by ace191
When I wrote my first stories they were not very good, so I reached out to one of the best writers on the site (Argo) and he agreeded to help me.  I had good ideas but I had trouble expressing them in words. He taught me many things and I got better pretty fast.  One thing led to another and we became partners in a workshop and that is how “The Supergirl of Smallville” series got started.  

He is a master of writing dialogue and I learned several of his “tricks” like not repeating words, being concise, and moving the story forward efficiently.  

The only thing I usually do is comment on what I liked about a story.  I am just not in a position to comment on someone else’s work.

Ace
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02 Mar 2019 08:05 #63038 by Woody
Thanks guys.  I really wish there was a sarcastic font to that irony quote. 

My "stories" are really just vignettes, (single scenes for those who don't want to Google that).

Comicon and reality check were my first real cracks at stories per say.

Personally I love negative feedback as it's shows me where to go. Guess I better brush up adjectives.

Cheers
Woody

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03 Mar 2019 04:51 #63043 by ace191
One more thing.  Writing on this site really helped me at work and even more after I retired.  I pretty much have Argo to thank for that along with all the folks on this site who enjoyed reading my stories As it motivated me to write more.

If you can, find a mentor and send them your stories before you post them.  Let them make suggestions and then you can rework your story BEFORE you submit it.

What I learned to do was to put down every thought that I had down on paper as soon as they came to me.  Then I would try to organiize them into a story line and build transitions..  Next came the work 
of cleaning up the grammar into concise, descriptive words and eliminating duplicate wording.  

I have  tried multiple times to beat out my buddy D_K_C in workshops but I have “lost” every time.  But I really didn’t lose because each time I tried I got better.  Find a mentor and keep trying.  

Ace
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17 Mar 2019 17:03 #63255 by shadar
Woody,
I thought I'd respond in this older thread. 

I just read your latest story, Dozer, and enjoyed it a lot more than the previous ones. You did a nice job of setting the scene and the concept of your main character (both Julie/Winks and Dozer) is nicely done. A unique way of handling the dual personna of normal person and superheroine, and a nice rescue story to boot. 

You did a good job of revealing (without telling us) that Julie and Dozer were the same, albeit without knowing about each other, which made the story especially fun. 

I see this as really big step forward in your storytelling technique, while  still relying on dialog (as it should) for the action of the story. 

The only thing that wasn't needed was the ending, given by now the reader has figured out that Julie and Dozer are the same person. Leaving that off would have made the story stronger and would let the reader fill in the holes.

But other than that minor issue, I found it enjoyable and I look forward to more of your stories. You are clearly one of the folks who works on their storytelling craft and it shows. 

Shadar
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