Story blog

Here's a link to story I've been working on. It involves a young man who persuades his girlfriend to try out a superhero role-playing game. However, the computer character generator they use just happens to be enchanted.

Please let me know what you think. I'll happily publish it here if resonses are good and once I have revised it to my satisfaction.

Great story so far, one of the better I recently read.
I couldn't find any big errors, maybe some word corrections here and there nothing major.

I hope for a continuation as it really got me interested how it will go for them in the future.

This will be a great addition to the SWM library!

It is an awesome read, and I like the format as a blog. Splits the story up into nice little packages, which makes it easier to find the point where you left off. I think it would be cool if she added healing powers to her character or make Mark durable enough for her, but not making him as godlike as she is. To me, that's a basic rule

I plan on going in an oddball direction, since "magical super role-playing game" just demands oddball. At the core, though, I plan on making the center of the story the contrast between the straitlaced gamer nerd Mark and the more spontaneous Sara. So, yeah, spoiler: he doesn't die. It may not be to everyone's tastes, but I hope there's enough humor, romance, and adventure to keep everyone entertained.

Really good stuff, man! Thanks for sharing. I've added it to my watch list.

I really like it so far Eager to see more to come.

Awesome!!!!

Terrific story, and I'm looking forward to seeing it continue (and seeing it find a home here as well). Still, I know I'm in the minority, but I don't understand why a girl can't "just" be super. You created a really interesting scenario where someone can bring to life a character from a superhero video game, but almost immediately throw out the rules (because there's this "override", don't you see...) so she's not just strong enough to lift a battleship, she's strong enough to lift a billion battleships. And able to do absolutely every other impossible thing she wants to do too. I just don't see what's added to a story by adding a bunch of zeroes to the power multiplier.

This looks like it''s be a ton of fun, so please, continue!

www1969 wrote: Terrific story, and I'm looking forward to seeing it continue (and seeing it find a home here as well). Still, I know I'm in the minority, but I don't understand why a girl can't "just" be super. You created a really interesting scenario where someone can bring to life a character from a superhero video game, but almost immediately throw out the rules (because there's this "override", don't you see...) so she's not just strong enough to lift a battleship, she's strong enough to lift a billion battleships. And able to do absolutely every other impossible thing she wants to do too. I just don't see what's added to a story by adding a bunch of zeroes to the power multiplier.

Different strokes for different folks, it as simple as that.

I can only speak for myself but I happen to like the whole way over the top power level. Again only speaking for me this is a strong sexual fetish and quite frankly this shit gets me off, the more zeros the more I get off. It’s sexual fetish, it doesn't need to make sense. It doesn't have too much to do with a story. Think of it like an old fashion porno, people don't watch them for the story, now having said that if there is a decent story so much the better.

I do wish I were better at expressing myself with the written word but whatever, I’m not trying to troll you or derail the thread so...

Dunner1 so far I like you story a lot and I’ll definitely keep looking forward to reading it.

Grayface wrote: I do wish I were better at expressing myself with the written word but whatever, I’m not trying to troll you or derail the thread so...

No, dude, we're cool. I get it. I realize how ridiculous it sounds for me to want "realism" in a superheroine fantasy, it just happens to be the way I roll. The more over-the-top it is, the less I get off on it. But like you said, different strokes.

CD-roms. How unrealistic, nobody uses that anymore.

Just kidding, I like it. It's quite a nice little thing you got there.

I almost gave Mark a desktop. Imagine how retro that would feel! You're lucky it wan't on a 5.25" floppy. Now get off of my lawn, you kids!

As for power level, yeah, guilty as charged. There are also thematic reasons for doing so. I'm almost done with the next set of installments (look for them late next week). They will deal more directly with the theme of "with infinite power comes infinite responsibility...or not." In the third group of installments (which exist only in my brain right now), Mark and Sara will discover more about the makers of the CD and find that there were winners of the "Gold Edition" as well.

Fantastic story!!! More please!!!

Just wanted to add my voice to the chorus. Great stuff -- and lots of fun to read!! I love Sara's impish and playful side -- she is a very believable character and feels like a real person.

The next two installments are up. The story takes a turn for the strange and may not be to everyone's taste, but I hope the characters and humor make up for any adverse reactions people have to the story. Suffice it to say that Sara saves Mark's life by giving him a little bit of everything she has...

Well there I was figuring you were gonna give Mark powers. not the way you did it(i'm trying not to post spoilers) but I can say, Yes sir I like it. I'm looking forward to more.

Dunnere1 wrote: The next two installments are up. The story takes a turn for the strange and may not be to everyone's taste, but I hope the characters and humor make up for any adverse reactions people have to the story. Suffice it to say that Sara saves Mark's life by giving him a little bit of everything she has...

Personally, I like a superwoman who is secure enough in her power to not require all the men around her be puny weaklings. I mean, we have no respect for men who require the women around them to be their inferiors, I don't get why it's supposedly so awesome turn the tables.

Regardless, great story, keep it up!

How did I see something like this coming? It's still fun though, so thanks.

I agree with grayface, saw the powers coming but not the 'change'. Not usually into similar stories, but this is still well written and keeps me interested. Especially since the two main characters seem to have different views on the powers.
looking forward to how this will turn out.

*Spoiler Below*
I think more description around the computer/car scenes wouldn't hurt, felt over too fast. It also felt like a pretty harsh reaction of her even after she knew she had saved him.
But the only real thing I could complain about is that I don't really like the blog setup, nearly missed a chapter since I had to scroll past one unread to find it.

Thanks for the feedback. The reason I have this up on a blog is to post ideas as they come to me and to garner feedback before I submit it the story in finished form to this site. I tend to tell rather than show when I write. My characters need super-endurance for all the talking I put them though. So I will definitely expand the early aciton sequences. (My initial inclination was to have it all happen off-camera, and be recounted by Sara to Mark after he wakes up... )

Anyhow, the next two installments are up. This is all I have at present, so it may be a few weeks before the next installment.

Awesome updates. I don't know what more I can say, but thanks.

wow! I can't get enough of this story! please keep it coming...

thanks, this one is really good ! I love that Sara is playful and happy with her situation