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ENERGIZE! Shower Gel (nsfw)

07 Apr 2015 08:00 #41356 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic ENERGIZE! Shower Gel (nsfw)
Thanks Monty (I'm really glad you liked it). Your bath products are an inspiration to us all B). And hopefully my little flight of fancy is more like off to the left (in a nearby parallel universe) rather than ahead of your story. It's your party, I just wanted to bring by some steaks and beer :). Now crank that music! /o/ 'o' \o\ \o/ 'o' \o/ (raising the roof!)

I'm looking forward to chapter 8. As much as I like watching your girls, I like watching a writer hone their craft more. Hit me up anytime you see me on. It's been great talking with you about your world.
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08 Apr 2015 04:58 - 08 Apr 2015 09:07 #41367 by Monty
Replied by Monty on topic ENERGIZE! Shower Gel (nsfw)
Sarah is feeling a little lost at her approaching prosecution, whilst Clare finds "her" gel makes even more significant changes to her...

Oh, and Emma is a tad annoyed at someone ...

"A TAD ANNOYED, AM I?..."




Oh, s...ss...sorry Emma ... Emma is ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY RAGING at someone!
.
"Why, thank you, Monty" purred a rather satisfied Emma.

...Chapter Eight to follow...

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Last edit: 08 Apr 2015 09:07 by Monty.

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08 Apr 2015 12:41 - 09 Apr 2015 00:29 #41371 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic ENERGIZE! Shower Gel (nsfw)
Man, that gel just gets everywhere...

(added a second pic - I really didn't think that one would respond well to morphing, but Emma often surprises me...)

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Last edit: 09 Apr 2015 00:29 by AuGoose.
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09 Apr 2015 03:01 - 10 Apr 2015 23:01 #41376 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic ENERGIZE! Shower Gel (nsfw)
I've done a considerable amount of polish and expansion on "How the Little Tub met its Fate". Folks may want to re-read it ;).

(Fiona, now even more explosive :woohoo:)

I'm also working on a morph for her. Need to put in a couple hours on it to really do her justice. I've attached a WIP that hits a few highlights :).

Update: Morph complete - sometimes your girls just tell you what they need! B)

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Last edit: 10 Apr 2015 23:01 by AuGoose.
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16 Apr 2015 07:22 - 16 Apr 2015 11:36 #41502 by Monty
Replied by Monty on topic ENERGIZE! Shower Gel (nsfw)
Sarah was home, feeling a little bored.

"Stopping runaway locomotives and saving sinking cruise ships is all very well. All these fantastic Super Powers ... but what about poor little me?...Where's my fun?" she sighed... :(





"I know!" as she reached for her tube of emergency gel. "I can have some fun with this!" as she squirted a little of her Energized! gel onto her palm.





"I wonder what's gonna happen!..." she giggled as she began to rub some onto her Energized! boobs...


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Last edit: 16 Apr 2015 11:36 by Monty.
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16 Apr 2015 07:28 - 28 Jul 2016 23:23 #41503 by Monty
Replied by Monty on topic ENERGIZE! Shower Gel (nsfw)
The coolness of the gel felt wonderful on her boobs as she teased her 'girls' with a little smearing of the gel on herself





"hmmm... feels as good as always ... oooh look! there's some lovely boiling water to go with my gel!"





'Oh, wow!'...the water and the gel together...oh my....

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Last edit: 28 Jul 2016 23:23 by Monty.
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16 Apr 2015 07:30 - 16 Apr 2015 07:51 #41504 by Monty
Replied by Monty on topic ENERGIZE! Shower Gel (nsfw)
"Just too bad the 'girls' won't stay this way...still there always more where THAT came from!" :)


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Last edit: 16 Apr 2015 07:51 by Monty.
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17 Apr 2015 08:21 - 17 Apr 2015 08:51 #41517 by Monty
Replied by Monty on topic ENERGIZE! Shower Gel (nsfw)
There's one or two new arrivals in the Pasadena household, and Clare is delighted!

The second new arrival in the house leaves her a little unbalanced as she witnesses a shocking scene.

Chapter Nine, coming soon...
Last edit: 17 Apr 2015 08:51 by Monty.

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17 Apr 2015 08:41 #41518 by Revan
Replied by Revan on topic ENERGIZE! Shower Gel (nsfw)
Looking forward to it!

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17 Apr 2015 11:24 #41521 by fats
Replied by fats on topic ENERGIZE! Shower Gel (nsfw)
New chapter is now up.

fats
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21 Apr 2015 06:06 - 21 Apr 2015 06:29 #41609 by Monty
Replied by Monty on topic ENERGIZE! Shower Gel (nsfw)
Sorry...can't help myself...she is stunning!





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Last edit: 21 Apr 2015 06:29 by Monty.

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26 Apr 2015 11:21 #41669 by Woodclaw
Replied by Woodclaw on topic ENERGIZE! Shower Gel (nsfw)
I refrained from commenting on Energize so far because, among other things, I wanted to see where Monty was going with this story. I wanted to see if, from a really nice start, he could build up a stroyline and characters I would like and so on. Now, event outside of this forum and community made me change my mind, so I returned here and looked at Energize one more time and realized one of my biggest errors: I was looking at the story as a whole, as product that was complete and finished in itself, not as an ongoing work and so I missed one of the most interesting point: this story is genuinely fun to read.
For as many flaws I can point out -- which aren't that many -- this story has one glaring positive that was starring at me the whole time: Energize has the qualities of both ingenuity and candour and they don't feel forced. Most of the time I'm a sucker for involved narratives, for stories that tries to present a significant plot twist or explore things from a completely unforseen angle. Energize lack in this sense, but that doesnt detract anything from the enjoyment of the story, it's actually part of its charm. Reading Energize is,at least for me, like going through an old comic book from the Silver Age, the story might not be up to certain standards, but it's damn fun and that's is what's matter!
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26 Apr 2015 11:50 - 26 Apr 2015 16:53 #41670 by Monty
Replied by Monty on topic ENERGIZE! Shower Gel (nsfw)
Thanks Woodclaw! It's what I was aiming for...more of a rock'n'roll story than anything else...Chapter 10 is coming together nicely...can't believe the story is ongoing from what originally was a one-off short piece :)
Last edit: 26 Apr 2015 16:53 by Monty.

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26 Apr 2015 18:47 #41676 by Monty
Replied by Monty on topic ENERGIZE! Shower Gel (nsfw)
Chapters One to Four seem to be a distant memory...Chapter Eight is by far my favourite... possibly Chapter Nine after that...will have to see where Chapter Ten goes...
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01 May 2015 22:43 - 02 May 2015 00:10 #41753 by Monty
Replied by Monty on topic ENERGIZE! Shower Gel (nsfw)
Meet Tiffany, Emma's best friend at school who Is staying this weekend as an impromptu but welcome guest at Emm's for a sleepover, with Tiff's first ever taste of a hot-tub...





It certainly won't be a quiet sleepover ... that's one thing for certain ... the events of this weekend may be known by this coming midweek...

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Last edit: 02 May 2015 00:10 by Monty.
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05 May 2015 01:15 #41791 by Monty
Replied by Monty on topic ENERGIZE! Shower Gel (nsfw)
Chapter 10 is now up

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05 May 2015 01:42 #41792 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic ENERGIZE! Shower Gel (nsfw)
Well Tiffany certain has had an... impact... on the story. Looking forward to more!

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05 May 2015 02:17 #41793 by rednecko
Replied by rednecko on topic ENERGIZE! Shower Gel (nsfw)
Very interesting way to make her a She Hulk type reaction. I was wondering when that was going to happen in the story. Can't wait to see where Tiffany grows to next and if she activates outside of the gel.

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05 May 2015 05:37 - 22 Feb 2016 19:47 #41795 by Monty
Replied by Monty on topic ENERGIZE! Shower Gel (nsfw)
Thanks Red...Tiffany doesn't need any more gel, as it's inside her now, as shown by what happened when the two thugs tried to take her down at the end scene.

I thought about using the pic below in the story, but it wasn't a very flattering picture of her!




But she'll always have her hot-tub bounce


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Last edit: 22 Feb 2016 19:47 by Monty.

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05 May 2015 15:17 #41802 by Woodclaw
Replied by Woodclaw on topic ENERGIZE! Shower Gel (nsfw)
I just had a bit of a conversation on Energize and I want to put some elements on the plate that came out of it. I don't retract anything from my previous statement, but I have to point out a couple of things.
First and foremost, Sarah seem to be getting the short end of the stick so far. While I understand that her storyline is mostly stuck -- which gives plenty of time to evolve her -- she also seem to be the one who gets the less fun and the less mileage from the Energize. Emma -- who is arguably the star right now -- not only got more fun, but she also seemed to get the hang of her powers much faster than Sarah. I'm not sure if this came from Sarah being slower and more methodical in her tests, whereas Emma being wilder, but it was definitely noticeable, especially with Emma being able to fly immediately, while Sarah took a while to get the hang of it. I actually don't mind the fact that Emma was able to get her own batch of gel -- it makes for some good moments -- but I would really like for the focus to go back to Sarah for a while.
The second can of worms is Claire. I like her character -- don't get me wrong -- the concept of superpowered mom is one that I find very interesting, but there's something defintely iffy about how the whole thing was set into place. Mostly the problem is that Claire is currently miles ahead of both her daughters in terms of power, which makes for some great moments with Emma, but makes the Sarah's paradox from above all the more noticeable. I'm not 100% clear if this comes from the Energize being electrified or simply from Claire having a better genetic disposition than her daughters (given Chapter 10 both explanations are possible).

That's all I can say for now, I still think that the story is nice and I like how it's proceeding, but I would enjoy it much more if the two above elements are somehow adressed. ;)

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05 May 2015 21:23 #41813 by Monty
Replied by Monty on topic ENERGIZE! Shower Gel (nsfw)
Thanks for the feedback Woodclaw. I know you are right about the main issue regarding Sarah. After ch9, the idea was to pursue a whole different route involving all of the family ... but somewhere that got lost with Tiffany who took over the chapter with Emma. I may need a chapter 9.5 to rectify this as it inadvertently flew off on a tangent...

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05 May 2015 21:55 #41816 by Woodclaw
Replied by Woodclaw on topic ENERGIZE! Shower Gel (nsfw)

Monty wrote: Thanks for the feedback Woodclaw. I know you are right about the main issue regarding Sarah. After ch9, the idea was to pursue a whole different route involving all of the family ... but somewhere that got lost with Tiffany who took over the chapter with Emma. I may need a chapter 9.5 to rectify this as it inadvertently flew off on a tangent...


I don't think that a 9.5 is needed and you may actually make the current situation work in your favor, by having the next chapter being focused on Sarah and what she was doing in the meantime, this might actually be a nice equalizer.

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06 May 2015 06:48 - 07 May 2015 08:01 #41822 by Monty
Replied by Monty on topic ENERGIZE! Shower Gel (nsfw)
Thanks Woodclaw ... you've given me some re-energized ideas.... ;)
Last edit: 07 May 2015 08:01 by Monty.

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07 May 2015 02:36 #41829 by www1969
Replied by www1969 on topic ENERGIZE! Shower Gel (nsfw)

Woodclaw wrote:

Monty wrote: I may need a chapter 9.5 to rectify this as it inadvertently flew off on a tangent...

I don't think that a 9.5 is needed and you may actually make the current situation work in your favor, .


Please take this constructively, but I too believe that it's not necessary to go back and tweak existing stories, something you seem to do quite often with this series. I don't know about others, but once I've read a story, or a chapter of a story, I'm not all that interested in going back and reading an "updated" or "revised" or "new and improved" version of it. If it helps your creative process to do editing to a piece once you've already published it, then do whatever works for you. But speaking merely as one reader (and not a particularly important one), I'd be much more interested in reading new adventures than going back and trying to figure out what's new about something I've mostly already read.

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07 May 2015 08:04 - 07 May 2015 08:07 #41834 by Monty
Replied by Monty on topic ENERGIZE! Shower Gel (nsfw)
Thanks www, I'll bear that in mind "Onwards and Upwards" as was one of Sarah's favourite sayings in the lab cafeteria... :)

Regarding Emma's faster developing abilities with her gel procured from Sarah in the nightclub, Chapter Six explains this...the gel has been 'pre-treated' with boiling water for Sarah to use to Energize away from the shower, when needed. Now it receives a second blast of boiling water, hence the sudden advancement in power for Emma...thought that explained itself...
Last edit: 07 May 2015 08:07 by Monty.

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