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A Little Trip (story in progress)

19 Nov 2015 01:02 - 16 Dec 2015 00:57 #45236 by alternate_histories
A Little Trip (story in progress) was created by alternate_histories
Run out of room; please see the end of the conversation for the latest additions to the story.
Last edit: 16 Dec 2015 00:57 by alternate_histories.

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19 Nov 2015 15:16 #45243 by shadar
Replied by shadar on topic A Little Trip (story in progress)
An interesting start, Tarot, and very nicely written. You've set the stage nicely, revealing enough to guess at the world of your story. The flavor of it all, if you will. Amazing how much one can learn of your world in so few words -- well done. It also accomplishes the goal of making the reader curious. All good.

I also like their physical, animal nature. Driven by scent and the beating of hearts. The idea of the temptation to bite, barely controlled until its not. A hunger that is almost inseparable from sexual arousal, perhaps combining at the moment of attack.

While the vampire genre isn't usually interesting to me, the beginning of your story has a vibe that I like. Also that you seem to portray vampires as a truly alien species to Earth, or so I suspect from this start, which I do like.

Shadar

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20 Nov 2015 00:43 #45254 by alternate_histories
Replied by alternate_histories on topic A Little Trip (story in progress)
Thanks, Shadar.

From the sounds of it, I've hit the nail on the head... to start with at any case.
I'm glad that you think I've conveyed some of the world; I know that one of my major 'faults' is that I can't seem to resist world building. I was re-reading today and realised that I'd gone sixty pages without actually explaining how this happened... which, in my defense, was more because i couldn't find a good place to inject it, rather than having forgotten. I've now inserted a few lines a lot earlier, which should clear things up when I post them.
I'm also glad that Christine and Ida's nature has come across, although while I might be using the bite as a metaphore for sex, within the story it's not quite the same thing; I'm not sure where I'm going to insert it, but i have a line that explains it as being more intimate than a kiss, but less so than that sex... which is why Christine wrestles with herself so much; she doesn't want to change her relationship with Chase.
I should also point out that Christine and Ida usually have more control, but Chase is... special; in part because he's around them so much (kind of like seeing one donut in a box every day; you're going to get tempted to take it, before anyone else does, or it goes stale) but there is also another reason, which will be explained later.
Finally, yes the vampires are totally alien; not just hiding, but literally not here until a few years ago. I have a dislike for stories which involve a long running masquerade, both because i know how hard it is to pull off over the long run, and because the usual explanation is that humans aren't that observant.
The AU was different because were probably only ever a few hundred Arions/Aureans around so it was believable that they could slip under the radar. Things would have changed quickly if there were a sizable population.

Thanks again; I've added another page to the story, along with a few tiny tiny edits further up.

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20 Nov 2015 13:54 #45258 by Woodclaw
Replied by Woodclaw on topic A Little Trip (story in progress)
Vampires aren't my thing either, mostly because I have trouble seeing the sexual and/or romatic side of them. While the bite has some sexual implications, no argument on that, I think that many authors don't get the romantic side right. In my mind for a vampire to be romatically attracted to human would be as if I fall in love with a t-bone steak, there has to be something deeper and more complex than hormones.
Given that I think that this is a pretty interesting start, there are good hints to a larger situation, the characters are introduced at a nice pace. There are a couple of details that makes me wonder though: first, if I get the general idea right something happened and the world is now full of weird creatures (elves, vampires and so on), the big question here is "are they trying to integrate or not?", much of the shape of the narrative would depend on it; second, the choice in clothing, if the ladies are trying to fit in donning clothes that scream "goth vampire" from a hundred miles away seem like a weird choice, maybe I read too much Dresden Files, but I think that having them in a slightly more normal outfits would be better.

On the subject of a masquerade, I tend to like that idea, but only when done in the right way, simply putting a glass barrier between the mundane and the supernatural (a la Harry Potter) doesn't cut it for me, simply because of shared space. Even if people as a whole are stupid (something I'm deeply convinced of), persons aren't and I don't believe that in over 10,000 years these worlds have managed to stay separate all the time. In my mind the right way to handle things is through careful integration of the two, the Vampire Theater in Ann Rice's vampire stories is a good example of it.

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20 Nov 2015 13:56 - 20 Nov 2015 13:57 #45259 by brantley
Replied by brantley on topic A Little Trip (story in progress)
Now that I've read the second part, I can see that this is truly a fresh approach to vampire fiction -- and a very good one. The original Dracula formula became so hackneyed that it was spoofed in LOVE AT FIRST BITE, and while I haven't read any of the popular vampire fiction by the likes of Stephenie Meyers, I gather it takes a "light" approach, making vampires romantically appealing. Making them aliens with what Shadar rightly calls their "animal nature" makes all the difference.

--Brantley
Last edit: 20 Nov 2015 13:57 by brantley.

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21 Nov 2015 01:06 #45268 by alternate_histories
Replied by alternate_histories on topic A Little Trip (story in progress)
I see where you're coming from with regard to human/vampire romance and while it's not going to happen here (Christine and Chase are just going to be... REALLY close friends by the end) I think it's less a case of dating a stake, than giving your loved one a really intense kiss... or at least that's how my Vampires see it; they don't have to kill their victims.
That said, I do want to show that Christine, Ida and Chase have a relationship that's based around more than the physical.
With regard to the situation... I don't want to say anything yet because I want to make sure that the reveal doesn't come off as trite or boring. However I will say that yes, there is integration, but as with everything there are varying degrees depending on circumstances and culture; for example, some elves wear suits to the office, while others wear traditional tunics. Christine and Ida get away with outlandish outfits because A) those are Vampiric fashions where they come from and, B) they actually like the idea people can see them coming.
...Actually, reason B is a bit complicated; on the one hand they like to stick out, but in the manner of a wasp's stripes, since it warns people not to mess with them, unless they really mean it. I think I'm going to have to mention that somewhere, so thanks.

With regard to the masquerade, the Dresden files are... semi-ok with how the author handles it. On the one hand, he admits the monsters are in hiding because they know that humanity would likely slaughter them all if the masquerade breaks, but on the other, in one of the later books, Harry mentions to someone... his police officer friend? That the casualty rates among humans are similar to those of herd animals in Africa; I agree that people en mass are pretty stupid, but that many deaths would be noticed, if not by the people actually paid to look at crime statistics, then by the anthropologists.
It's been a while since I read Ann Rice; as I recall, didn't Lestat actually drain his groupies when he was a rock star? I seem to recall thinking at the time that wasn't very subtle, though I agree the rest was generally done well, largely because genuine supernatural creatures were very rare.
In this story though, the masquerade broke down almost immediately; it's hard to hide bunny ears under a hat, but to be fair, the humans had had a pretty big hint something was wrong.

Thanks for your feedback; a new page has been added.

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21 Nov 2015 01:25 #45270 by alternate_histories
Replied by alternate_histories on topic A Little Trip (story in progress)
Thanks, Brantley.
I thank you for the compliment but, if I'm entirely honest, other authors have done this before me; I'm just trying to put my spin on the un-masked world; The Hollows by Kim Harrison is a good example. Though, I am going to try and turn a few tropes on their heads, for example in this world, Succubi might like sex, but what they need is love.
Basically, I'm trying to write a story where, one day, humanity discovered that all the creatures they thought were simply myth, have become real... admittedly at a point long enough after that event that a lot of the shock has worn off, namely because I've always wanted to write a scene which features a fairy in a business suit talking into a cellphone... a scene which, ironically, isn't likely to appear in this story.
I wanted to write a what-if story where we had to suddenly adapt to the existence of Vampires (and other creatures), but we can't kill them because, ultimately, they're people; some are bad, some are good, most are somewhere in the middle. Kind of like an alien invasion, except that people have an idea what to expect from aliens; they would be less sure if they saw centaurs galloping down the street.
That said, I do want the Vampires to comes across as a little alien; while they're people, they're not human and so they don't think exactly like we do... although not to the extent they're completely unintelligible. Animalistic is, as Shadar mentioned, probably the best way to describe them... very mildly sociopathic might be another, but only if you're really far away when you do so.

Thanks.

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21 Nov 2015 10:29 #45273 by Woodclaw
Replied by Woodclaw on topic A Little Trip (story in progress)

alternate_histories wrote: With regard to the masquerade, the Dresden files are... semi-ok with how the author handles it. On the one hand, he admits the monsters are in hiding because they know that humanity would likely slaughter them all if the masquerade breaks, but on the other, in one of the later books, Harry mentions to someone... his police officer friend? That the casualty rates among humans are similar to those of herd animals in Africa; I agree that people en mass are pretty stupid, but that many deaths would be noticed, if not by the people actually paid to look at crime statistics, then by the anthropologists.


The author touched on that subject more than once, trying to explain things. Butters, Harry's forensic doctor friend, noticed that things didn't add up and after a fire he filed a report marking several bodies as humanoids, not humans. As a result he was sent to psychiatric care for six months because his boss didn't want to hear about it. In a way this is the Dilbert rule applied to the situation, in any kind of command chain one stupid person placed at the right spot is enough to block an entire line of investigation. Also a casualty arte of a African herd means low enough to keep the herd going without too much trouble -- admitedly this is my idea.

alternate_histories wrote: It's been a while since I read Ann Rice; as I recall, didn't Lestat actually drain his groupies when he was a rock star? I seem to recall thinking at the time that wasn't very subtle, though I agree the rest was generally done well, largely because genuine supernatural creatures were very rare.
In this story though, the masquerade broke down almost immediately; it's hard to hide bunny ears under a hat, but to be fair, the humans had had a pretty big hint something was wrong.

Thanks for your feedback; a new page has been added.


The Vampires Theatre was a bit of "Interview with the Vampire", it was a group of Parisien vampires that posed as a theatre company specialized in gothic plays, htey pretty much drained their victims in the spotlight adn were highly praised for the realism and brutality of their representations.

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22 Nov 2015 00:29 #45299 by alternate_histories
Replied by alternate_histories on topic A Little Trip (story in progress)

Woodclaw wrote: The author touched on that subject more than once, trying to explain things. Butters, Harry's forensic doctor friend, noticed that things didn't add up and after a fire he filed a report marking several bodies as humanoids, not humans. As a result he was sent to psychiatric care for six months because his boss didn't want to hear about it. In a way this is the Dilbert rule applied to the situation, in any kind of command chain one stupid person placed at the right spot is enough to block an entire line of investigation.


This is certainly true, I could buy that happening once, even ten times. But there are tens of thousands of doctors in the USA alone; I can't see all of them having a file of 'stuff the public isn't prepared to know', if only because physical mutations are the kind of things dissertations are literally written about; just look at the excitement surrounding the discovery of a 'new' ligament in human knees, a few years back.

Tarot

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22 Nov 2015 23:29 #45312 by alternate_histories
Replied by alternate_histories on topic A Little Trip (story in progress)
Just to let anyone know, I've added more to the story.

Thanks

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24 Nov 2015 23:42 #45357 by alternate_histories
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And another update.

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25 Nov 2015 11:30 #45373 by brantley
Replied by brantley on topic A Little Trip (story in progress)
That last update is really touching. I don't think I've seen anything like it before in vampire fiction -- but then, I'm hardly well read in vampire fiction. Never picked up on Ann Rice or Stephenie Meyer. I know you've seen INNOCENT BLOOD, and I recommend that to everyone. I also recommend NEAR DARK, which has to do with Texas redneck vampires, but is also a love story with a happy ending.

--Brantley

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25 Nov 2015 23:05 - 25 Nov 2015 23:20 #45399 by alternate_histories
Replied by alternate_histories on topic A Little Trip (story in progress)
Thanks, again Brantley; I was worried the scene seemed a little forced since I felt they needed a bonding moment given I wanted this to be a light piece and yet, as always, I ended up being serious.
I'm also glad you didn't think it was silly that Christine, who has been on Earth for the last three years, didn't know what a CD really is, though I comforted myself with the knowledge a lot of people probably don't know how one works. Today's update should help give further explanation.

I'll try and find a copy of Near Dark; I had a quick glance last time you mentioned it and I have to admit the story didn't grab me, but a happy ending changes that.

Thanks again.
Last edit: 25 Nov 2015 23:20 by alternate_histories.

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01 Dec 2015 23:03 #45451 by alternate_histories
Replied by alternate_histories on topic A Little Trip (story in progress)
Hmm. Seems that the website issue caused some posts to be lost.
No matter; I've added another page, in which we learn about both Kinsider religion and medicine.

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03 Dec 2015 00:05 #45472 by alternate_histories
Replied by alternate_histories on topic A Little Trip (story in progress)
Another update and a very, very minor addition to signify that the ladies are wearing heels, for reasons that will become significant later on.

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04 Dec 2015 00:13 #45495 by alternate_histories
Replied by alternate_histories on topic A Little Trip (story in progress)
Another update.

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05 Dec 2015 00:45 #45515 by alternate_histories
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...And we end the first chapter.

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06 Dec 2015 00:03 #45530 by shadar
Replied by shadar on topic A Little Trip (story in progress)
I read your complete first chapter today, Tarot, although I’d read most of it a few times before.

The Good:

You’ve done a great bit of world-building in creating this Kinsider universe colliding with ours, more of a dimensional rift kind of thing, with a hint of Gaelic flavor, at least to me. I like that.

Your world is one of very active magic that all Kinsiders utilize to varying degrees. Basically, everything mythical creature known to man live there. I like the interesting way the worlds fail to understand each other. Kinsiders don’t have a clue about how to electronics, and software seems to malfunction around them in any case. We Earth humans have the same problem with magic. We don’t get it.

Very imaginative, and to my eyes at least, novel. But I don’t normally read stories involving hard-core magic or vampires, etc, so I’m probably not a good critic of what is invented or borrowed.

Things that made me smile:

SeeDees…and how the vampires conceived of the way an audio CD works. That was cool.

References to airships on Earth. That makes we wonder about the timing and other related issues on your Earth. Chapter 1 didn’t get into that, but you’ve done a nice job leaving the question open in my mind.

At that same time, the mention of an RAF interdiction on dragon hatcheries. Love the imagery and possibilities.

How his phone was now paired with a genie. Made me think of a magical version of Siri.


What Needs Work:

Way too much exposition in chapter 1. This reads like your trial run of interacting the characters and laying out your world. Great stuff for the author, but it doesn’t work well in a story.

I suggest introducing some action at the beginning and then just enough about the world to intrigue the reader, but not truly answer a single question they may have. That’s what the rest of the book is for.

Build up the anticipation and challenges of the visit to the Kinsider world right from the start by talking about risks and challenges. Those are your plot points and narrative thrust for chapter one: preparing Chase for a remarkable trip in the company of two very unusual vampires. If it ends right, the reader can’t wait to turn the page to Chapter 2.

Bottom line... I don't normally like magic or vampire type stories, but I think the premise of this one has the potential to be very interesting. You just need to cast it in traditional story-telling style.


By the way, you might want to work with Woodclaw to get your story into the library and then add chapters as you finish them. It’s tough going back to a story multiple times to re-read and figure out where the new and/or changed stuff is.

Shadar
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06 Dec 2015 15:37 #45535 by brantley
Replied by brantley on topic A Little Trip (story in progress)
That business of too much exposition may apply to my own latest, "Dephic Obstacles." Maybe I should start with some real action and make what I posted last week a flashback.

--Brantley

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06 Dec 2015 22:54 #45547 by shadar
Replied by shadar on topic A Little Trip (story in progress)
I write a lot of things like that when I'm conceptualizing a new story series. I call it "the walk in the woods with my characters". Basically, to hang out with them and try out their stories to see if it works.

That then forms the basis of a series of chapters and scenes, but those are entirely rewritten to try and pound them into a storytelling format.

I've become very interested in the ancient techniques of effective storytelling. Stuff I mostly ignored for years, but which I'm decided is really important. That and the three act structure. I keep trying to get my structure right. Not there yet in my own writing, but I can start to see it at least. But its still easier to see in other people's work. It's hard to call my own babies ugly.

Shadar

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07 Dec 2015 23:36 #45563 by alternate_histories
Replied by alternate_histories on topic A Little Trip (story in progress)

shadar wrote: I read your complete first chapter today, Tarot, although I’d read most of it a few times before.

The Good:

You’ve done a great bit of world-building in creating this Kinsider universe colliding with ours, more of a dimensional rift kind of thing, with a hint of Gaelic flavor, at least to me. I like that.


Thanks; I didn't originally intend for it to have a Gaelic tint but when constructing a world filled with fairies, it seemed natural.
Also while Kinside is not a magical version of Earth, it is regional, so the area adjacent to Britain has orcs and fairies, while Greece has more centaurs. As such, most of the Kinsiders Chase encounters are from British mythology.

shadar wrote: Your world is one of very active magic that all Kinsiders utilize to varying degrees. Basically, everything mythical creature known to man live there. I like the interesting way the worlds fail to understand each other. Kinsiders don’t have a clue about how to electronics, and software seems to malfunction around them in any case. We Earth humans have the same problem with magic. We don’t get it.


I'm glad that came across, although I should point out that in the same way that Kinsiders can use basic electronics (major issues if they couldn't), Earthborn humans have a small capacity for magic; I'm going to have Ida or Christine tease Chase about the time he messed up a basic fire spell so badly he didn't even singe his eyebrows; it was that weak.
However, as mentioned in the story, magic isn't a deus ex machina; it's powerful, but also expensive, requiring either lots of effort or years of training to do properly. That's why human technology has a definite edge; it's easier and cheaper.

shadar wrote: Very imaginative, and to my eyes at least, novel. But I don’t normally read stories involving hard-core magic or vampires, etc, so I’m probably not a good critic of what is invented or borrowed.


Quite a lot of it is borrowed; the reason I had Chase wear a Gary Gygax t-shirt is that I'm uh 'appropriating' some ideas from the game... which is a touch difficult as I've never played it. However not everything comes from Dungeons and Dragons; just the bits I like. And I'd like to hope readers can spot the bits I've taken.

shadar wrote: Things that made me smile:

SeeDees…and how the vampires conceived of the way an audio CD works. That was cool.


I liked that too; ironically Christine's understanding is still light years ahead of most of her colleagues, for whom CD's would be simply amazingly good mirrors and/or fashion accessories.

shadar wrote: References to airships on Earth. That makes we wonder about the timing and other related issues on your Earth. Chapter 1 didn’t get into that, but you’ve done a nice job leaving the question open in my mind.


Airships?
...Why yes... I DID intend to include airships on Earth. I certainly wasn't using the comparison as shorthand for steampunk...
Ok, maybe I was, but you've actually given me an idea for something to include in Chapter 2, so thanks; airships are now officially being trialed on Earth.
Incidentally, if you wondered what Christine looks like, this is the picture I was using as a basis for her outfit (though without the corset): draculaclothing.com/review/product/list/id/5312/
Amazingly, Christine had white hair even before I found the picture.

shadar wrote: At that same time, the mention of an RAF interdiction on dragon hatcheries. Love the imagery and possibilities.

I think side quips like those are my favourite part of this; it's not something that sci-fi offers a lot of. F16's vs spaceships? Done to death. F16's vs flying women? Better, but still fairly common in our literature. F16's vs dragons? Now that is pretty unusual!
...Although Dragons fare about as well as you'd expect a giant, hot lizard to fare against a supersonic machine capable of firing missiles from over the horizon.

shadar wrote: How his phone was now paired with a genie. Made me think of a magical version of Siri.

Well... Cortana, but yes, that's pretty much what I was thinking (Since it's an engineering solution, I figured Microsoft would get the jump on Apple, on this aspect at least; iPhone sales went through the roof when someone figured out how to mass produce a permanent beautify glamour).
This was actually just another throwaway comment, but then it turned into a plot point later on.

shadar wrote: What Needs Work:

Way too much exposition in chapter 1. This reads like your trial run of interacting the characters and laying out your world. Great stuff for the author, but it doesn’t work well in a story.


<sigh> Exposition is my Achilles heel. I try to avoid it... in fact the reason I haven't released the start of chapter 2 is because I'm rewriting it to remove some... but I get scared that people will get bored if I pose too many questions without answers. I almost missed Amazon's Man in the High Castle because they didn't explain how Nazi's could possibly win World War 2.

shadar wrote: I suggest introducing some action at the beginning and then just enough about the world to intrigue the reader, but not truly answer a single question they may have. That’s what the rest of the book is for.

Good point; i was trying to get some 'action' in the way Chase and the ladies interact, since they're just in an apartment and I didn't want to spoil the surprise of what Christine and Ida are too early... but I can see what you mean.

shadar wrote: Build up the anticipation and challenges of the visit to the Kinsider world right from the start by talking about risks and challenges. Those are your plot points and narrative thrust for chapter one: preparing Chase for a remarkable trip in the company of two very unusual vampires. If it ends right, the reader can’t wait to turn the page to Chapter 2.

Tricky... since most of those challenges are, in fact, mentioned in Chapter 2, but I'll see what I can do.
I definitely agree that the anticipation needs to be built up more though; I tried to do so, but Chase's fanboyism still seems to come out of nowhere, even to me.

shadar wrote: Bottom line... I don't normally like magic or vampire type stories, but I think the premise of this one has the potential to be very interesting. You just need to cast it in traditional story-telling style.


By the way, you might want to work with Woodclaw to get your story into the library and then add chapters as you finish them. It’s tough going back to a story multiple times to re-read and figure out where the new and/or changed stuff is.

Shadar


Fair enough. I did deliberately try to avoid editing things earlier in the story (I think the only significant change was a mention that the ladies are wearing heels), but I know what you mean. I tried to colour code the new sections, but it didn't work out.
The other advantage is that I got feedback on sections as they came up; given the problems you mentioned, I think that actually works out since I don't want to release this into the main library before it's ready.

Thanks once again; this was great feedback and just what I needed.
Well... that and the 1173 page views (250 in the last few days); it seems I can still write.


Thanks.

Tarot

Anywa

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07 Dec 2015 23:41 #45564 by alternate_histories
Replied by alternate_histories on topic A Little Trip (story in progress)

shadar wrote: I call it "the walk in the woods with my characters".


By an amazing coincidence, the concept for this story came out of the idea of a guy lost in the woods with two vampires.

That then forms the basis of a series of chapters and scenes, but those are entirely rewritten to try and pound them into a storytelling format.

shadar wrote: That and the three act structure.


That's become more and more important to me as well; I think a big part of the reason I haven't finished the Training Moon story (aside from the fact I can't think of a decent title) is that I can't figure out the middle act. I've got the first and last, but what joins them together is proving frustratingly illusive.

shadar wrote: It's hard to call my own babies ugly.

Shadar


I think we'll have to agree to disagree on that one at least; I have the opposite problem.

Tarot

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08 Dec 2015 00:08 #45565 by brantley
Replied by brantley on topic A Little Trip (story in progress)
Here's a discussion initiated by Jo Walton at the TOR Books blog that may be relevant to the issues at hand

www.tor.com/2010/01/18/sf-reading-protocols/

--Brantley

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08 Dec 2015 00:16 #45566 by shadar
Replied by shadar on topic A Little Trip (story in progress)
To your point, I think the first cut of classifying all human behavior has to do with how you view your own work.

A: You regard it more highly than it deserves.

B: You regard it more negatively than it deserves.

Most people are a bit of a mix with a lean one way or the other. The pure forms of either type are pretty extreme.

For example: Donald Trump is a type A+. But then, so was Steve Jobs.
Wozniak was seriously a B.

You can make related lists in any field or profession. The interesting part is that as a general rule, Type A's are more successful (as measured by position or wealth), but the really world changing ideas come from the B's.

I believe that most professional authors are B's who have A's as agents and/or editors.

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08 Dec 2015 01:02 #45567 by alternate_histories
Replied by alternate_histories on topic A Little Trip (story in progress)
(It's late here so I'll have to read your link tomorrow, Brantley)

Here's a new intro that I came up with just now; please excuse spelling errors and typos. Hopefully this hints at a change in the world, without revealing too much.

A little trip

The woman was breathtakingly beautiful. Tall and delicate, dressed in swathes of blue and white silk, her stunning features enhanced by the barest touch of eyeliner and elderberry lipstick, she turned her head slowly to observe the crowd, allowing her platinum blond hair to actually sparkle as the bright lights danced between the complicated waves and curls of her flowerlike braid.
Despite the intense atmosphere surrounding the podium, she showed no sign of fatigue, nor allowed one drop of sweat to mar her pale skin, despite the heat of the lights beating down upon her. Instead, she met the unflinching stares of 196 world leaders sitting in the UN’s General Assembly Hall with a baleful glare, and repeated her demand for their immediate, unconditional surrender to the Elf Kings of the WorldBridge seas.
From her position on the sofa, Christine Sanguine raised a slender hand to cover her yawn and flicked her fingers towards the blue ring on her television in a gesture that would change the channel to something more interesting.
Unfortunately for her, Ida, her roommate and friend of three years, who had taught the television which channels were to be considered favourites, and what appeared was a cartoon featuring pastel coloured ponies. Christine watched one of them teleport from one side of the screen, wondering how a 21 year old could find entertainment in something so… unrealistic; surely even the children the show was intended for knew that talking horses couldn’t use magic?
But there was no accounting for taste. Pressing finger to thumb, she clicked her fingers and the television obediently switched off, its fiery blue ring dimming to a pale ghost as it went to sleep.
Rising from the couch and brushing down her suede brown coat, she walked across the lounge the university had leased to her and Ida, and touched the music centre. Immediately, there was a brief whir as the magic of the silver disk unspun, and then the apartment was filled with the haunting melody of one of Midnight Garden’s more recent releases.
Swaying her head to the haunting guitar and soul deep pain of the singer, Christine allowed herself to become lost in the music, which was so similar to that of her homeland and yet… made different and exotic through the simple use of a stringed, rather than woodwind instrument. She felt the beat pulse through her, almost strong enough to make her heart pound again… and then her clamshell vibrated loudly on the low table.
With a deep sigh of regret, Christine forgot the music and plucked the brilliant silver oval from the table before it could fall and damage itself. The carpet was rich and deep, but after her father had mortgaged one thirtieth of his entire fief in order to pay for it, she was not prepared to take chances.
“Yes?” She flipped it open and hissed impatiently through her teeth at the blue glow within.
“I’m sorry mistress,” the tiny voice replied, “but you asked to be reminded of the time.”
“Yes yes, very well.” Christine nodded and checked the wall clock, which was amazingly thin considering – and she had checked – it had not a single cog or gear, instead displaying the brutish, yet effective, English characters of 1 and 0.
Tilting her head, Christine directed her sharp senses towards the hall beyond the apartment door. Sure enough, she heard the familiar creak, and sound of unlaboured breathing.
“Move with haste, Ida!” Christine called to her roommate, “He is on the stairs!”

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