Recommend Print

Turnabout Is Fair Play – Chapters 13-14

Written by ace191 :: [Sunday, 22 July 2012 16:36] Last updated by :: [Wednesday, 21 May 2014 14:25]

Turnabout Is Fair Play

By Ace191


Clark could just not get it out of his mind. Lois, now an Ultrawoman, and Jim, now a Superman while he was just an ordinary shmoe. And clearly, Lois was loving it and would not be giving him any help to change things back. She was now the second most powerful being in the Universe, with not one, but two Super lovers.

He had been in tight spots before, but this was unlike any he had ever faced. Somehow, if he was ever to get out of this, he would have to do it by himself, but this seemed impossible at the moment. He needed more information, and it had to come from Lois. But how to get it? Maybe he could catch her in the office and bring out a little of her gloating ego. He would have to give that a try maybe tomorrow that is, if Lois would even talk to him again.

Clark was there bright and early Tuesday morning, but Lois didn’t breeze in until 10 AM. Well here goes nothing, Clark though to himself.

“I see that some things never change.” as he looked at Lois and then the clock. “Can I talk to you for a sec?”

“Sure Clark, I will even give you sixty.” she responded.

“I was quite surprised about your announcement yesterday. Why the sudden interest in Jim?”

“Who says the interest was sudden? I have always liked him. While not the biggest or toughest man, he has always been honest, reliable and unselfish. After I became Super, my priorities changed. I didn’t need a big strong man and I came to appreciate qualities in men that are now much more important to me than size, money or power. And then there are those cute buns of his along with his incredible youthful stamina.”

“But I though you and Mxy were the hot item. How does Jim feel about that?”

“He understands it completely. He knows that Mxy fulfills me in a very special way, but he also understands that I am just one of many to him. Jim says that what guy wouldn’t be ecstatic to have Super Powers and the love and attention of an Ultrawoman 95% of the time.”

“And how does Mxy feel about Jim?”

“As long as I devote 100 % of my time and energy to Mxy when he visits, he does not care what I do with the rest of my life. Like this weekend, Jim knows that from Thursday to maybe Sunday or Monday I will be busy with Mxy. He’s ok with it and actually enjoys filling in for me. He says it is like a little vacation that I have earned. Now maybe you understand what I see in him.”

“Any special plans with Mxy for the weekend Lois?”

“And I thought you didn’t need any super help to get your stories Clark.” she goaded him.

“Well, you know how Perry is when it comes to the Planet and Super Stories.” Clark replied . “He and the public can never seem to get enough.”

“Well Mxy and I will be starting out Thursday night at seven with Dinner at Rocco’s. After that, who knows where we will be or even what dimension we might end up in. Why don’t you stop by with a camera and see if you can’t please both Perry and me at the same time?”

Swallowing his pride Clark responded, “Consider it done, and thanks for the help Lois.”

Lois watched as Clark walked out of the office somewhat down and dejected. Now don’t you go feeling sorry for him, she told herself. Remember what he said in his diary about you. He deserves this after everything he has done! And payback is a bitch!

Clark stopped by Perry’s office on his way out. He told him that he had a tip about where Ultrawoman would be later in the week and what his plans were. Perry authorized a camera for him and he picked it up on his way out of the office.

Clark started to become nervous and broke out in a sweat as he quickly walked away from the Planet. He prayed that Lois was not watching him at the moment or would be in the next couple of days. He had to avoid her or she would no doubt notice his anxiety and possibly pick up on his now forming plan.

It was a dangerous one. If it failed, he could go to jail for life, or face even worse consequences! But he was desperate, and desperate times called for desperate measures. Fortunately, he was familiar with Rocco’s and the people who worked there from his story about the photographer’s death.

He had just enough time to put his plan in motion if he started tonight.


After dinner, Clark hopped on the bus and headed over to Rocco’s. He walked through the front doors and approached Vince the maître d’. “Excuse me sir, I wonder if I might have a moment of your time in private. It concerns an upcoming visit by Ultrawoman to your establishment.” Clark said trying to sound confident and in control.

Vince looked up from his appointment book and made eye contact with Clark. He remembered vividly his last experience with the Ultra-Bitch. “Mark, cover for me why have a word in private with this gentleman please.”

Vince escorted Clark to a private party room that was not in use. “What can I do for you Mr …”

“Kent. I’m a reporter for the daily planet and I have very good information that Ultrawoman will be here with a guest this Thursday night. I know that there was a bit of trouble the last time she was here and that she gave you in particular a very hard time. I was hoping that perhaps if you and I work together there might be a more favorable outcome this time.”

“So, what’s on your mind and what’s in it for me?” Vince replied.

“Well for starters, a hundred bucks right now. And there will be 200 more if everything goes well.” responded Clark. “And all you have to do is to provide me with a menu and see to it that Ultrawoman’s guest is handed that menu. And you need to see to it that they will be waited on by a man you can trust and will follow instructions. Once your waiter provides Ultrawoman’s guest with the menu, all he will need him to do is read the special out loud.”

“That’s going to be a problem.” answered Vince. “Her favorite waiter is Mark and he would immediately become suspicious if I ask him to do something like that.”

“Leave Mark to me. I am very confident that a few dead presidents and I can convince him not to come into work this Thursday evening. And don’t worry. Ultrawoman has asked the Planet to send a photographer and I will be there to snap her picture.



Clark had made all his preparations earlier in the week. But now it was Showtime and he was getting very nervous. He waited outside Mark’s building and followed another person in to gain access to the elevator. While his stomach churned inside he tried to put on his best professional face as he knocked on Mark’s door.

“Who is it?” a half awake voice groaned from the inside.

“Clark Kent of the Daily Planet. I wonder if I can have just a moment of your time sir?”

Mark opened the door crack and peered out at Clark over the security chain. “Just what the hell do you want with me?” a groggy Mark inquired.

“The Planet is running a human interest story on Ultrawoman and we were told that you are a friend of hers. Our readers would like to know what she is really like and since you know her so well we were hoping that you might be able to tell us about her.”

“Just a sec. I need to put some pants on.” Mark thought to himself, oh the stories he could tell but they wouldn’t be appropriate for a G rated newspaper. Better just stick to how warm and wonderful she is.

Mark opened the door and let Clark in. As soon as Mark’s back was turned, Clark pulled out a double sock blackjack filled with quarters and hit him over the head with it.

“What the fuck …”, was all Mark was able to get out before Clark struck him again. Clark swiftly put his arm around Mark’s neck and choked him into unconsciousness. He then opened his bag, put on his gloves and brought out the duct tape and wire ties. Once Mark was secured to his bed, Clark pulled out a small syringe and filled it with a yellow liquid that he injected into Mark’s left thigh. “I hope the doc is correct and this stuff will keep him out for a few hours.” Clark thought to himself.

Let’s see assault, kidnapping, illegal use of narcotics, Clark pondered as he tried to add up the number of years in prison he would have to serve if convicted on all those charges. And then there is no telling what Lois might do to him. Maybe rip off one of his arms and beat him to death with it? He shuttered at that thought. Well, there was no going back at this point, he was all in.


Clark arrived at Rococo’s 30 min early. He gave Vince the special menu and waited nervously for Ultrawoman to arrive. He was dressed in his best suit and was equipped with a high-speed camera with dual flashes perfect for snapping portraits.

A few minutes before seven Ultrawoman arrived and walked up to Vince’s post. The din in the restaurant lowered to a hush as all eyes in the place turned to look at this incredible female.

“Ultrawoman, so nice to see you again. We have your favorite table all set and ready for you and your guest.” Vince greeted her.

“Is my favorite waiter here tonight as well?” she inquired.

“I am very sorry Ultrawoman but it’s Mark’s night off tonight. I could call him and ask him to come in if you would like.” Vince offered.

“That won’t be necessary.” she replied. “I’m confident that you will have your best waiter present assisting us tonight.”

“Yes ma’am! Joe will be taking care of all your needs tonight Ms. Ultrawoman.”

Vince led Ultrawoman to her table walking right past Clark where she stopped. “What’s wrong Mr. Kent”, she asked. “You look like a bundle of nerves and you’re sweating like a junior high school boy about to ask a girl to dance for the first time.”

“Well uh, it’s just that well everyone knows what happened to the last photographer who tried to take your picture”, he replied.

“Now, now Clark you don’t really think that I would throw YOU out the window to plummet to your death, do you? Besides, I am confident that you will be much more polite and professional than the last photographer that I ran into here.”

“You can count on me Ultrawoman.” Clark quickly replied.

What a wuss, Lois thought to herself as she followed Vince to her table. Without his mighty powers he is nothing more than a spineless coward.

With all eyes on her, Lois slid into the circular booth which had a commanding view of the city far below. Vince introduced Ultrawoman to her waiter Joe and asked if there was anything further he could do for her tonight.

“I’d like a bottle of your finest red wine.” she answered.

“Right away ma’am.” Joe replied as he sped off to fulfill the Maiden of Might’s request.

Clark was still shaking as he watched Lois saunter over to her table. If he hadn’t been so scared he knew that the mere sight of her would have made him uncomfortable in his pants.

I guess it is about time for Mxy to arrive, Lois thought to herself while snapping her fingers. Right on cue, the fifth dimensional imp appeared.

“Is this the best table you could get?” Myx said. “This is the same one we had last time.”

“Now Mxy, this is the best one they have.” said Lois.

“Well then maybe we should try another restaurant.” he argued back.

“This restaurant serves the best food in town and they have the finest service. And besides, isn’t the company more important than the location.” Lois replied.

Clark was really starting to tremble. Great, he thought to himself. Mxy is already in a bad mood and if his plan fails there’s no telling what he and Lois might do to him.

Summing up all his courage Joe stepped forward. “Good evening sir. My name is Joe and I will be your waiter tonight. On behalf of Rococo’s I would like to welcome you and your beautiful guest to our establishment. It will be my pleasure to serve you both tonight. I took the liberty of bringing over your menus now so that I might bring to your attention tonight’s specials and answer any questions about them that you might have. They are located right here on your menu sir.

“They better be really good or my lady and I will be very displeased.” Mxy snapped back. “ Hmmmm, let’s see. Filet mignon from corn fed Iowa beef served in crackling butter alongside Maine lobster tails adorned with our famous Kltpzyxm sauce. What the! LOIS HOW COULD YOU?! After all I have done for you! You have helped old Supes send me back! ”

In shock herself, Lois looked at Mxy and saw him starting to fade. “No wait, it can’t be, I didn’t mean for this …”

Clark didn’t need super vision or super hearing to know what was happening. He could feel the familiar snugness of her super suit starting to form around his body.

Lois watched in horror as her blue and red outfit faded and her breasts receded back into her chest.

“When I come back in 90 days I’m going to make both your lives a living hell!” raged Mxy just before he faded away completely.

Lois looked down at her red business suit with her white blouse and matching red pumps and asked out loud “what am I doing here?”

“Why, you’re here to have dinner with me tonight Ms. Lane.” a familiar baritone voice responded.

“Superman! I must have just zoned out there for a second.” Lois said recovering quickly.

“That’s one of the reasons why I invited you here tonight Lois. I think the two of us have both been working too hard and I thought it might be nice if we spent a little time together this weekend. Would you like to take a vacation with me for a few days starting this Saturday if you can get the time off from the planet.” Superman queried.

I’ll quit if they don’t give it to me, Lois thought to herself. “I’m sure I can arrange it.” she answered trying not to sound as desperate as she felt.

“Great! I will pick you up at your place at noon. Now what do you suggest we have for dinner tonight.” he asked.

“How about the Chateaubriand for two?” Lois responded eagerly.

“That sounds delicious. I like mine medium rare. How about …”

Lois knew that look in Superman’s eyes all too well as his head turned away from her.

“Sorry Lois but there is a fireworks factory on fire and the whole place is about to explode.” Superman stood up quickly and bent over and kissed her on the cheek. “Can’t wait to see you Saturday.” he said before streaking out of the restaurant at superspeed, stopping only to tell Vince that he was the best maître d’ in the city while he slipped him $300 in cash to cover their bill and a tip.

Add comment

Security code

Comments (0)
There are no comments posted here yet