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Tales of An 'Mazing Girl: Hi Ho Silver Away!

Written by castor :: [Friday, 30 August 2013 20:49] Last updated by :: [Tuesday, 10 September 2013 20:38]

Special thanks to Dru for Editing and Proofreeding



"Go to Las Vegas for the day, have some drinks they say, Do a little gambling" said ‘Mazing Girl, "It will be fun."


She should have said that as she hid behind a pillar, as a heavily armored man heard her and shot at her with a huge machine gun..


But well she had a weakness for classic banter


"Yippie kay yay motherfucker," she said … but the machine gun fire drowned it out. They where really loud.


She said something else but, yeah, gunfire. You couldn’t t hear anything. You don't think it, but yeah.



"WOHOOHOHOHOO000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000" shouted Janice outside the car window.


"Quiet," said Wendy from the backseat. "I've still got a headache."


Sarah smiled. She, Janice and Wendy were driving to Vegas for the weekend. Well, she was driving, as she was the responsible one.


Going to Vegas for the weekend was something people did in LA – but she had never really done. She had been to Vegas on spring break in college – but, well, girlfriends got together in LA and went to Vegas. That’s the way it was. That’s what people did. And she was a person who lived in LA. This was despite the fact that when she went she remembered not liking it all that much.


She had Monday off with a Labor Day holiday. She was coming home on Sunday – but Wendy suggested it was good to recover. Wise advice, as Wendy who had looked as if she was already recovering from one of her drank-induced hangovers before she even got there. Still, knowing Wendy, in five hours she would be fine.


It would take that at least. They where still in the middle of the desert. Sarah realized that there was still a long way to get to Vegas. But, well she had friends, tunes, and a diet-soda. What more could you ask from the open road?


15 hours latter …

The gun shot, his really heavy machine gun, right at the support column in the New York, New York parking structure, pelting it with dozens, then hundreds, then so many more bullets.


God, ‘Mazing Girl did not like bullets. This would hurt a lot, and really damage her costume, and she only had the one with her. And really hurt. So many bullets rang past her …


For about 5 seconds.


Then she heard the click of an empty chamber.




‘Mazing Girl ran out from behind the column.


He pulled out his pistol – he shot  at her, aiming for he … however, as the bullet floated through the air she just dodged it. Yeah, she should probably have taken it in the face and been cool about it – but yeah, it would hurt.


She turned her head and watched it fly past almost as if time stood still.


Then she turned again, and took the guy down.


"Okay Bub, what’s the plan?"


"Amazing girl."


"The A is silent."


"No, that would imply," said the thug, "That you spell it with an A but don't pronounce it. You … "


She punched the guy in the head.


He went unconscious.


"Okay. I'll just find out from someone else."





"Will you please, please, be quiet," said Wendy.


Sarah smiled. They where driving down the strip. It was 10pm, and the lights were full effect. Sarah hadn't been here for years and she had forgotten how beautiful the strip was at night – so many lights. So, so many lights. They passed Ballies and Paris, fake Venetian canals and Caesar’s Palace (which didn't look too impressive), the Billagio with a huge fountain, and the Mirage with a volcano. It was magical. As someone who loved movies, and the craft of making them, it was like driving down a movie street, the speed of her car equalling the speed of the print through the projector. It was one of the most beautiful things she had seen in a long time.


"Wohoho" said Janice.


Pity she wasn't sharing it with people who could more appreciate it.


It was snobby, but she was getting a little tired of Janice’s dumb enthusiasm, and Wendy’s hung-over grouchiness. They were both nice enough, but Janice seemed to be sewing her oats from her long term boyfriend and Wendy was just in a snit. She knew them she liked them – but well this hadn't been the funnest trip ever. Still …


They drove in front of New York, across the street from a fantasy castle, and a giant statue of a lion, Kitty Corner from a large tower-that was suposed to be tropical or something(poor theming that). The hotel was comprised of a number of buildings from old New York and a giant statue of liberty in front – with a roller coaster. It was as magical as any.


"Let’s get in, check in, and ROCK THE HOUSE!!!" said Wendy, instantly recovered from her hangover.




Yeah, great company.



From outside, the lobby was full of machine gun welding lunatics. And what looked to be several hostages. Not a good scene.


What was a better scene? Well, Las Vegas didn't have any superheros nearly as powerful as she was – they had … wow she knew they had 1 or 2 but she couldn't remember their names right now. She remembered reading an article about one of them a year ago revealing that she was really a Mormon in her private life, but the actual name escaped her.


Lots of people in Vegas who worked at these huge dens of sin were really Mormon. Made it more interesting.


But anyway, no one in Las Vegas was as powerful as ‘Mazing Girl. The police didn't seem to be responding for some reason. And the guy didn’t know she was here. This meant she had the element of surprise – if she could stop with the one-liners from die hard – which was pretty tricky, but she could contain herself.


Sarah leaned in and jumped to the top of the Empire State Building.


Which would have been impressive if it wasn't, like, 1/3 as tall.


She landed on the top like a much smaller version of King Kong. She couldn't help beating her chest a little, but got down to business – there wasn't any super visible access, she looked through the windows trying to spot one she could jump through to take out a terrorist.


However, no gunmen where visible at all. Nothing on the top floor.


It was disappointing.


The top floor itself looked to be lot of expensive suites – however they were empty. She was hoping to jump in, suprise some newlyweds, and go ‘action’.


But nope.


Ah, well …


Sarah found a window in the Chrysler Building across the way, aimed like a lightening bolt across New York harbour, Grand Central Station, and a roller coaster, into the tower … landing with a roll.


"Hey! What are you doing?"


It was a guy watching porn on his TV. It was very dark, and she hadn't spotted him.


Well, God bless him.


"Got a hotel to save, Sir," She informed him, and ran out the front door.



"Let’s get this party started," declared Janice.


"YEAH GIRL," said Wendy.


Sarah sighed. They had just checked into a very large hotel room. There were only two beds – but come on, this was Vegas.


Which Sarah had only been in about an hour and a half, and was already getting a little tired of.


Check in, for 10 o’clock at night, had been kind of exhaustingly long even if the lobby was beautiful to look at – something out of the 40s.  She had gone to work at 4:00 AM for an early morning shoot before the long weekend, and after 8 hours on location in Venice Beach had driven 7 hours. (Okay, Janice had driven 3 of them in the middle)


But she was tired. She wanted to get some sleep after a very long day.


"Let’s hit the slots!”


And Janice pulled off her shirt, revealing her push-up bra.


"I thought you wanted to go downstairs," said Sarah.


"I am not wearing this. I got my Vegas dress," said Janice, pulling out of her clothing.


She was wearing spanks.


Sarah turned her head. She turned to Wendy.


"Hurry up, girl. We got guys to flirt with, and whiskeys to drink."



‘Mazing Girl was at the top of the Chrysler Building, looking around. No-one looked suspicious – most of the actual hotel guests, based on the guy in the suit, were oblivious. This was quiet and simple, and well planed. What were these guys after?


She called the elevator to get down.


When it came, inside was a woman with a submachine gun.


"Why do they come at me with such noisy sticks?" Sarah had read that in a Batman comic once. It sounded cool.


She grabbed the woman’s gun, and with a single flick of the wrist threw it away. It didn't go off or anything. Then Sarah grabbed her.


‘Mazing pressed for the fifth floor. Then pressed every button between.  Give her and her new friend chatting times.


"We’re going to have a conversation," said Sarah. "You’re going to tell me a story."


"Okay, I am going to tell you everything,” said the woman, "’Names Indigo, by the way."




"When your parents name you something like that, you’ll be a hippy or a criminal. I made my choice. You don't have to beat me up or anything. I'm folding."




"I work for a man named Mr. Anon. I am reasonably certain his parents aren't hippies, so that’s probably an alias. He’s trying to raid the casino’s vaults – they have something like 40 million dollars in there. He put together an army – 80 men and women – to do it like a commando raid, paid-off the police … what have you.  Screw Oceans 11. The only way to really do it is a lot of big ass guns. Except they didn't expect you – they had expected the Vegas Gorilla and Ace of Diamonds."


Oh that’s what her name was.


"Well, you just got ‘Mazing."


"Is that a thing?" asked Indigo.


"Well, I have been trying out catchphrases."


"Work some more on it," suggested Indigo. "Anyway Anon’s probably in the central vault. It’s … yeah, under the main casino floor."


‘Mazing Girl grabbed a metal hand rail on the edge of the elevator, ripping it off with one hand. She proceeded to wrap the long steel bar around indigos hands.


"Thanks for your help. For the record: I probably wouldn't have beaten you up – I am not that kind of heroine."


"Well, I have a weakness for women’s prisons anyway."


"With a name like Indigo, that makes sense."



Sarah was surrounded by music. Dancing, throbbing music, and thousands and thousands of blinking lights. A lot of handsome guys and beautiful girls were there for her to oogle (she sometimes did both) and she had a drink that had originally been on fire in front of her.


She was kind of bored.


Wendy was off talking to a guy. Janice, who was hooked up back home, was abstaining, but making lots of hooting noises.


Sarah wanted to go to bed.


The alcohol hadn't really taken effect yet. Well, it was just making her a sourpuss.


She had spent the last 4 hours drinking, watching a dance review, a little dancing, and a little time behind the slots.


Sarah hadn't really had a lot of fun with any of it.


She was thinking a lot of the movie Ghostbusters. That had a lot of great special effects in it. And a surprisingly cogent occult plotline if you followed it, with the weird building that was a dimensional gate to the otherworld … and Slimer. And it was all physical. It had a reality in the etherealness that CGI didn't really produce. Sure, Slimer was a puppet – but …


In high school and college she used to watch a lot of sci-fi movies. And talk about them. In college too, though they occasionally went to Jan Shivmakers weirder European stuff.  She had a lot of friends she could do stuff like that with. She sometimes talked to them – often on Facebook – and had made some others about comicbooks and stuff. But really, she had a lot of long discussions about the new 52 online these days. It wasn't quite the same.


She missed them. She was with her other friends, but she missed just being a geek – as opposed to a woman on a Vegas trip.




Yeah, this wasn't as fun.


She liked alcohol. She liked drunken debauchery. But this … well …


It didn't seem her night.



"This isn’t your night son," said a robber, a tall faced goon with an awesome beard, to what looked to be a hotel security guard. He had him a gun point.


He walked to his compatriot with a not-as-good beard. "I found this guy playing John McLain in the sports book."


He gestured with his gun away from the man.


which gave ‘Mazing Girl a chance to come from the shadows, grab his gun and him with it, then use the same gun motion to hit his companion.


"Hey," said ‘Mazing Girl to the security guard.


"What the … ?"


“Don't worry," assured ‘Mazing Girl. "It’s under control. I need to get to the main casino cash-vault … well you know what I’am talking about.”


"Central Money," said the guard. "Third basement, under the lobby. It’s high security. They’re probably robbing it right now. You have to use a key-card to get there, like this one. The main elevator is off the casino floor on the east side of the building. That’s probably where the leadership of this crap is."


"Thanks," said ‘Mazing Girl.


"I am not giving it to you," said the guard. "Names Thomas, by the way. It’s hotel procedure. You might be one of them trying to bluff.”


"Fair point. Then we go together. However I’m bulletproof. Are you?"




"Just checking," said ‘Mazing Girl. "How would you get there? Keep in mind that the main floor has about 1000 hostages, 100 of these guys, and a really annoying Euro dance-mix club."


"They brought most of the hostages to, I think, the east side of the casino. It’s kind of easy to defend. On the main floor, probably not to many. A dozen maybe as floaters. How fast can you run?”


"Fast," said Sarah.


"Can you give me a lift?"




"I think I want to go to bed," said Sarah.


"Come on," said Janice. "They have this great breakfast buffet in two hours – don't you want to say you spent the night up all night?"


Sarah gave her a weak smile. A very weak smile.


"I think I am going to go maybe play some table games. That will keep me awake."


"You need to party," said Janice.


Sarah wandered into the casino. At 4:00 AM it was – crowded was the wrong word, but it had a lot of people. She had some chips and was ready to, yes … to party.


She found a blackjack table. She knew there was a strategy to it. That was good. Despite being someone who, at a time in her life, had travelled 2000 miles to play dungeons and dragons and roll dice, she couldn't fathom craps.


Jack and seven.


"Hit me," said Sarah.


"You shouldn't do that," said the guy next to her.




"The dealer has a six showing. Odds suggest your going to win. 1/3 chance she’s going to have a face card and have to stand, most of the rest won't help her. and the deck is at plus 1, so she’s not going to have it."


"Huh?” said Sarah.


"Just saying." The guy was a handsome looking Asian man with glasses, maybe about 25. He looked very pleasant, and pretty, if a nerd.


"Do you want to hit?" asked the dealer.




And the game continued. The dealer turned over 8.


"14, dealer hits. 10, dealer busts. All players win.”


"Yeah!!!!" said Sarah.


She got a 10 dollar chip in front of her.


"Don't get cocky," the helpful guy warned. "Though since the count is high, it’s a good time to bet."


"Isn't that counting cards – should you be saying this?"


"It’s a 5 dollar table at 4am, nobody cares much."


"He’s right," said the dealer. "We make a show about it, but really the best card counter can turn a game with 47 percent of wining to 51, and that’s not worth getting security over."


Sarah smiled. She looked at the guy


"Sarah Jennings," she said. "Hey, this may be a little forward, but when we’re done here … would you like to go up to my room, and watch Iron Man on pay per view?"  


"Daniel Hung, and I’m married."






‘Mazing Girl and Thomas were standing at a side entrance to the main casino floor. Sarah grabbed Thomas in her arms. Thomas had one of the guard’s guns.


"They almost certainly have guards across the way at the elevator down. It’s going to take me 10 seconds to get the door open."


Sarah leaned down and grabbed him, lifting him up easily to her back.


"You’re strong."




Sarah began to sprint. She didn't want to go too fast with a guy on her back, so she settled to an easy 80 miles an hour, running through the empty casino floor.


As Thomas had said there were a couple of guards, but not that many. Some of them looked to be dressed like the ones in the casino. One of them wore a tuxedo. It was fun to see them. There was a certain joy in things like that – however they had the kind of scared, don't-fuck-with-me faces that suggested trigger happiness. Sarah contemplated for a second. She knew that actual mob ties were probably nowhere in the casino. (She vaguely recalled that the New York themed casino was owned by a southern company) But there still existed a kind of unspoken thought: You do not fuck with casinos if you want to walk straight. Or walk at all. Or be able to play horseshoes.


However despite her slight fears, it went smoothly. The casino floor was as most were, quite huge – bigger then several football fields. It was kind of interesting to watch it blur – but to business. In less then 20 seconds she crossed it to see a closed doorway.


"In," said Sarah, putting her back into it, cradling Thomas as she did. The metal door bust open, not crashed … the hinges gave first, the door sprawling into the room


As it did, she heard it hit a guard.


She stood for a second, dropping Thomas to the ground, gunfire hit her back (the first time all night that she had been actually hit). Her cape was made of Kevlar – not so much for personal protection, but just to protect her costume. However, it did help a little bit with protection but it still hurt. But she needed to buy time for Thomas to get into cover.


Thomas stood there.


"Hide!" Sarah told him.


"Oh … "


‘Mazing Girl grunted as he got out of the doorway, then turned … spinning fast.


Her cape went up and around as she saw the small elevator lobby in which stood three guards with machine guns … which she just spun around. Her cape hit 2 of their heads, blinding them temporarily and knocking their guns away.


She then used the distraction to hit them. The third gunman, to his credit, stoped shooting not wanting to hit his companions. She then grabbed one and tossed his head into a wall, Then grabbed the second and knocked him down. She then turned to the third.


He kneeled down before her, dropping his gun and raising his hands.


Sarah sighed. He was giving up, and she made it a rule not to hurt people who willingly gave up. She was okay with knocking people unconscious, but concussion was not a good thing in the long run.


She grabbed his M16 machine gun, took his hands and wrapped his weapon around them, taking several seconds to do so. The metal whined and partially melted in her hands as she did, helplessly bending.


"Stay quiet," she commanded.


Thomas was behind her fiddling with the knobs.


"The elevator should come in 12 seconds.”


"They probably know," said Sarah.




"So you have been working in casino long?" inquired Sarah.


"First year here," Thomas replied. "I worked a couple at the Venetian. Started out as a dealer, but pure security pays more."


Sarah nodded "True you guys don't care very much about card counters?"


The sound of people running towards them in the crowded space and a lot of yelling filled the air.


"Depends on the casino."


"A blackjack dealer told me that earlier tonight."


"That’s pretty brazen," observed Thomas.


The door to the elevator opened. They walked in just as the crowd got there.


There was a ding. And they went down.


There was no musak.




Sarah had found Wendy and Janice. The breakfast thing was starting in 20 minutes. she had made it through the night, but she was beat. She technically didn't have to sleep all that much, but, well …


However, she would show them … by partying as much as they did.


Janice looked a bit as if she was feeling a little tired too. But Wendy … well, she was looking fresh as a fucking daisy.


"WOHOHOHOHOHO!" whooped Wendy, screaming: "Let’s keep the party going!!"


Sarah had drunk maybe five drinks all night, and was feeling it. She was feeling a lot of things. Like she never wanted to see either of these people again.


Then she put her head against the table for a second … she felt it.


At first she thought it was the start of a hangover – but then she realized it was the sense … the feeling, the horrible feeling of a horrible feeling at the worst possible time. It entered her soul, her psyche, telling her … warning her.


"I think I’m going up to the room to change up for breakfast," said Sarah.


"You look fine girl," said Janice.


"Yeah, well I am going to," said Sarah.


Sarah got up before Janice could talk her out of it … and walked out of the bar they were sitting in, and into the casino. Her costume was in the back of her car.


As she hit the lobby she saw about 40 people walk in from a bus with a lot of heavy luggage. They looked hard , determined, and a little frightened.


And Sarah realized that an already long night was going to get longer.




The room was empty when they got there; no one was there. “Mazing Girl and Thomas were standing in front of a bunch of empty tables and a large vault in the back.


"Huh,” said ‘Mazing Girl.


"Help!" begged a voice. "Help me!!"


'Mazing Girl saw a closet and opened it. "What’s going on?"


Inside was a small woman, maybe 100 pounds with cute brown eyes. That was the first thing 'mazing noticed. It had been a very long night.


Thomas walked over and steadied the woman.


"When the robbers came they emptied the room and permanently locked the vault. They sent all the money counted to a separate safe room – but I was outside in the  little girls place"


"Yes," said Thomas, he took his machine gun and put it to the girls head.


"Ohhhhhhh," said ‘Mazing Girl.


"We learned fairly early that you were in the building. When Indigo didn't report, we figured you were in the east side of the hotel. It was fairly simple to be captured. We spent half an hour trying to get into it – but as she said it can only be opened now by three keys that aren't on the property. You of course … are, well, super strong. You could get into the vault in like 5 minutes.”


"Three" said ‘Mazing Girl. "Just grab the steel, melt it down with my bare hands, and be in. But no. Are you Mr. Anon?"


"You’re invulnerable," observed the guard formerly known as Thomas. "She is not. And yes.Pleasure to be introduced "


‘Mazing Girl turned for a second to look at the vault door.


"Be quick – or are you really faster then a speeding bullet? At point blank range? And did you ever actually watch Die Hard?"


"Sure,” said ‘Mazing Girl. "That’s why I took the bullets out of the gun."


"What?" demanded Anon.


‘Mazing Girl walked over. "Competent thieves wouldn't have let her stay in the  closet for 30 minutes. I’m 99 percent sure she’s a plant … but that doesn't matter. I took them out. I don't shoot people anyway, and I didn't want you to do it.”


Anon trembled for a second, and started to talk in a thick European accent.


"You Americans … always cowboys."


He spoke into a walkie talkie she didn't notice before. "Activate plan 3x"


"whats that"



The most defenseless tenderness and the bloodiest of powers have a similar need of confession. Western man has become a confessing animal-Micheal Focult" said thomas "Benefits of a modern Clasical education"


sarah shook her head they where really doing this "What’s  is that?"


"The remaining guards are to hide a bomb in the property and flee. What do you have to say to that, cowgirl?"


"Hi-ho, Silver … away!!"


She punched anon in the face he fell down in an instant.


Sarah turned to the girl. She was panicking and screaming.


"Thank you."


"99 percent you’re bluffing. I am sure he is. Either way you’re not going to get out of here without talking to the cops."


The woman paused. "We have a helicopter to pick us up outside. 3x is the call for it to come early."


‘Mazing Girl nodded. Of course, there was still the other problem.




Sarah opened the car, her shit and pants already off, not noticing that people may be around in the deserted garage. She was used to it. She saw her bag with her costume.


"Where’s my fucking boots?"


She couldn't find them anywhere in the trunk.


Could she wear her strappy shoes to do this … ? No.


Ahh well.  What could go wrong with being barefoot?


39 Minutes later.


The casino floor was empty. She heard the sound of a helicopter close by. Well, not that close, as the casino was designed to let very little noise from the outside world in


"What’s going on?" said a voice. It was Janice.


‘Mazing girl had a policy of not getting that close to people who knew her other identity so …


She skedaddled.


There was a door outside to the small front of the casino; there was a small restaurant next to the little lake of New York harbour. In the front of the building …


And she was outside. Wow. It was just after dawn. She had been up all night. You really can't tell time in a casino.


In front of the Statue of Liberty was a huge military helicopter. It must have been able to hold 40 people. She took a moment to appreciate the scale of this operation. It must have cost at least … well, a lot … to put this together.


Just as she left, the helicopter went up – flying upwards in front of The Statue of Liberty (which, despite a joke she remembered from the movie Despicable Me, was pretty big).


Sarah saw a huge fire-hose mounted next to the restaurant door. For what reason, she didn't have any idea. Maybe to put out fires?


She grabbed it, pulling it off the wall. It weighed about 100 pounds. Perfect.


She made a quick lasso out of 20 feet of it, tying it up as the chopper kept rising and rising … she only had seconds to do this … and


She grabbed the hose around her hand as best she could, making sure to hold both ends …


And jumped.


She flew easily 200 feet into the air. Into the dawns warmth.


She grabbed the landing gear of the helicopter. If they noticed there wasn't much they could do. The chopper paused for a second, adjusting in the air, spinning just a tad …


Holding the gear in one hand, and as much of hose as possible, she swung the lasso end of the firehouse around and around …


And threw it over the torch of the Statue of Liberty.


It caught, and the helicopter could go no higher. You think it would be able to break it … but, well, helicopters were surprisingly weak.


She did her best to tie the other end – with one hand – to the copters landing gear … just getting there when someone stepped on the hand holding the landing gear. It distracted her; she let go.


And she started to fall … 200 feet towards the roof of Grand Central Station.


However, this was okay. Well mostly okay. Yeah, she screamed a little for a second, but what are you going to do?


Yet as she was falling she adjusted her angle and hit the roof – which only looked like glass – feet first. But do you expect them to do a real glass ceiling in a casino to let in natural light? She bounded right back up to the helicopter in a second after hitting the roof like a rocket, jumping back up to the trapped helicopter. Someone was out trying to untie it…


She landed behind him.




She hit his head against the chopper and threw him inside as she balanced at the door.


She walked into the main copter and saw about 50 machine guns all pointed at her.


‘Mazing Girl smiled. "You start shooting; the entire helicopter goes down.  You know that. Gigs up boys."


She did a coquettish little wave. She liked doing that when she won.


"Who wants to be a live con … or a dead crook?"




Sarah got woken up in her hotel bedroom.


"Hey!" said Janice.


"What?" demanded Sarah, trying to sleep.


"You were in here," said Wendy, opening the door.


"When I came up here … i didn't feel so good. So I went to sleep," Sarah told them. "Just tired."


"Well, you missed a fuck ton!" said Wendy. "There was god-damm robbery. We were both held hostage and shit!"


"Really?" said Sarah?


"’Mazing Girl saved us!" said Wendy. "Or some stupid shit like that."


"Yeah," said Janice. "Well, not literally."


"Oh," said Sarah. "I want to get to sleep now."


"They’re closing the casino for a couple of hours to investigate it," Wendy mused. "Want to hit Caesar’s Palace?"


"Sure," said Janice.


And they both got ready, undeterred by the threat on their lives. That said something.


They made too much noise for a while for Sarah to get back to sleep.


Sarah considered this was her first and last girls’ weekend in Vegas. When she got back she would get back into Warhammer. She had a nice army going, and she would play with it. See about movie groups maybe – those were around. Maybe start up a D&D game … nahh, that was a little too geeky, even for her. Wendy and Janice were a time of her life – a time when she wanted to fit in the movie scene in LA. Now that she was more secure she could be her real self – not the prop m-girl, not the party girl, not even the ‘mazing girl, but Sarah Jennings: nerd girl. She liked herself like that.


But first she would sleep for the next day or so. That was a very good plan.


And she would still join them for cleaning parties. That was sanitation.

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