Written by Woody :: [Thursday, 18 April 2019 15:09] Last updated by :: [Thursday, 18 April 2019 20:38]
Author's note: Thanks Shadar for the guidance with this character. She was only a concept until you gave me the confidence to go ahead with it
Here’s a thought experiment for you. Say you could be in two places at once. No catches, no surprises. What would you do?
Before you answer I really should introduce myself. My name’s Sally. I’m pretty much your standard Personal assistant and the low level pleb who is generally asked ironically to make copies of documents for everyone in the office. It’s the kind of job whose role in a movie would be, let say “worker number 3”. I’m assuming I’m asked this because the VP’s I assist generally don’t know how to use a photocopier.
I’m not alone per se most of the time. Being the PA I see and greet a LOT of people and I’m friends with one of the Brokers in the place called Julie. I feel sorry for Julie, she’s a kind sweet girl who in some respects has done really well becoming a broker in our industry, but she’s also a narcoleptic. Work’s pretty cool about it and she has a room which doubles as our talk space and where she can sleep. Unfortunately, some of the jocks in the office started calling her Winks and you know how it is with nicknames. You can never pick your own most of the time. I think we bonded over the lack of other women in the joint; there are about 5 of us in here total and many times more men.
While Julie works on the Broker side of things a lot of the work I do is antiquities. Apart from being brokers our firm values and auctions antiquities of some very very wealthy people in the city. Every day I’ll be fetching coffee for two or three clients coming to organize appraisals and auctions. Some of the stuff they bring in is amazing and some are absolutely bizarre. In the same day, I had 3 vintage Tiffany necklaces and a Congo shrunken head adorn my desk, the weird thing about it is it's normal around here.
So right about now you’re probably thinking – yeah, great, but what has this got to do with being in two places at once. Well it will all come out but I needed to provide some context. You see I live in a world of superheroes and heroines. We even have one in this city. Dozer is the champion of all and well loved. She’s quite amazing actually. Julie is also Dozer’s biggest fan. She would totally wig out is she ever met her. Elsewhere in the world, there are other heroines like the Dazzling Diamond and the Asimus Avenger. Seriously though why do superheroes love alliteration on their names? I digress, but you see they are not the only one with “Powers” per say. I have a little party trick of my own. That part about being in two places at once. Well it’s actually kind of easy when you can duplicate yourself.
Yes, that’s right, I can duplicate myself. I can create an exact copy except for one feature, my fingerprints are mirrored. That’s because of my duplicate forms from my hands. The best way to describe it is like this; think about putting your hands on a mirror to see two versions of yourself. I can put my hands up to create a second me like I’m looking in a mirror. Whilst I’m two people I experience different sensations and then to remerge we just meet up and touch hands again. The trippy part is the merging of the memories afterward but it’s relatively painless.
That’s the nice version. There is another way to merge which is a lot more painful. That is that my duplicate can vanish. I still get the memories from that merge but those hit like a freight train. It also knocks me about physically until I can get my strength back which takes a day or two
Right about now you’re probably calling BS but think about it. Dozer’s basically a living God; from what I’ve read the Asimus Avenger has super strength and is bulletproof among other traits and the Dazzling Diamond is like a human computer brains-wise and can teleport and anticipate her opponents every move. Come on it’s like these guys are meant for greatness. So why can’t I at least have powers?
I also know your next question. If I have powers why aren’t I a superhero? Well, there are a few reasons. One, I have to live. I don’t know who these heroines are but I can’t just leave my job midway through the day to play Good Samaritan. Secondly; life isn’t exactly cheap around here and I need to work two jobs to make ends meet. Thirdly; look at me. Though I’m not really being conceited most guys rate me a 7 or 8. Looks I have yes but strength; hell no. Anyone who is going to attempt to kick a super’s arse would snap my pretty body bloody fast even if there were two of me trying to stop them.
“Well why don’t you just duplicate yourself and work two jobs simultaneously?” I hear you ask. Well it’s not that simple. When I duplicate myself we both run of the same energy stores a single person has so I get tired twice as fast. That’s also why if the duplicate vanishes it takes so long to recover.
So working two full day jobs is out of the question. My second job is a night job. It helps make ends meet and I can split up for that one and stay at home watching TV so I can keep up with the office gossip.
My job as a PA isn’t without its perks so to speak. One of the so-called perks of my day job is that occasionally I’m asked to attend the ‘to do’ parties to help with the antiquities. One night our number 4 client was holding an exhibition of some precious jewels from Dubai he intended to Auction. Unfortunately whilst I get invited to these parties I’m generally more lumped in with the hired help to look after the merchandise while my bosses schmooze the potential clients. So I’m there dressed in a cocktail dress and my purse and while the A, B and other lettered Lists walked around I am stuck near the jewels like a glorified and rather ineffective security guard.
I think I was there for about 3 hours and had endured several sleazy tipsy men “Enquiring” about the jewels, but that was nothing compared to the model wearing a 2 million dollar necklace. Every third guy went up to her at some stage and hit on her. I was kind of glad I was comparatively dressed down for this. Part of me wanted to tap them on the shoulder and plant a right cross on them but it would have hurt me more and wouldn’t be a good look for the company. Suddenly the lights got cut and when they came back on 19 seconds later the Jewels had disappeared. “I hope no one finds out” was my first thought. Then I looked at the model – Her necklace had gone too. Then I had my second thought. “My boss is going to kill me” I sounded the alarm about the stolen Jewels and necklaces and waited for the police and whatever superhero was in town to arrive.
Sure enough, Dozer was the first person on the scene. Upon her arrival, the crowd flocked and spammed more photos of her than a 3 million follower Instagram star whilst the police showed up soon after. Dozer strolled up to me in that cavalier confident superheroine way. “Hi, Miss…”
“Sally,” I replied, “call me Sally”
“Ok Sally, you raised the alarm, what happened.”
“I’m just here to look after the jewels. Well I was” I started to cry “My boss will probably fire me now.” I sobbed to Dozer. I tried to regain my composure as I continued. “I, I was standing over there near the jewels when we had a blackout. When the power came back they were gone, I didn’t see anything else. It went pitch black in here, Oh my boss is going to kill me”
“It’s ok Sally” said Dozer as she gave me a comforting hug. “He’ll realize it wasn’t your fault, how long was the blackout?”
“It lasted about 20-25 seconds”
“Thanks, Sally,” she said as she made her way to the model to ask her what happened. Shortly after that, I was repeating my story to the police, and my Boss who had also come over. He seemed a bit annoyed, and when he told me he’d “Talk about this on Monday” that really started to worry me.
Sure enough first thing Monday my Boss called me in after I dropped off his coffee. He advised me that the police have informed them that they captured two men around the party who had cut the power planning to rob the place. They didn’t find the jewels though and the men were saying they never got near them. Thankfully he understood that it wasn’t my fault and I got to keep my job, but he was worried about the firm’s reputation as this had been the 3rd robbery in 18 months at events.
I do know something about those robberies. Then again there was a reason I took this job, one needs a hobby after all. I should clarify; the personal assistant gig is my second job.
My main job, I’m an antiquities thief; but most people know me by another name: Multiplex. Dazzling Diamond gave it to me after a couple of my heists in Craters. As for why I’m not a superheroine; why be a hero, like I said there’s no money in it. This way, however; antiquities, rare artifacts and jewels are where my fortune is. Plus when you can literally be in two places at once, that’s one hell of an alibi. There are also other reasons but I’ll delve into those at another time.
So you want to know what really happened. Though the power was out for 19 seconds I only needed 6 and this was pure opportunity really. I would normally dress for the occasion obscuring my eyes but the opportunity was too good to pass up. The second the power cut I duplicated myself and took my purse. The other me grabbed the jewels and the necklace off the model and stashed them then made for the exit. I just gave myself enough time to get out before I raised the alarm.
Dozer is a great superheroine and whilst I admire her, she wasn’t cluey that night about my tears. She bought the waterworks like she landed on the square in Monopoly. Meanwhile by that stage I was collecting my 200 for passing GO, jewels and all.
After all, when you’re the one who raises the alarm no one suspects you, especially when you can duplicate yourself. And my prints are never going to be a match are they; well not unless you put them in a mirror
When I got home I saw a familiar face and my purse. A remerge later all’s well that ends well for my buyers. And as for the other two men who I later found out I undercut; there is no honor amongst thieves now is there.