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Written by castor :: [Sunday, 13 October 2013 15:42] Last updated by :: [Thursday, 31 October 2013 16:31]



Oh-oh Oh yeah…





Ah -ha ah yeah.





The tank barrelled down the street looking at her. it almost seemed alive a veritable thing a large mass of potential death.

Then she punched it.


“I’m living in that 21st Century, doing something mean to it

Do it better than anybody you ever seen do it

Screams from the haters, got a nice ring to it

I guess every superhero needs his theme music”


The Tank went thought an outdoor restaurant, and a couple of trees before landing in the middle of a crowded public square, sputtering and crumpled under the force.


What had the tank done to her?


The people who were running and screaming in a most undignified manner didn't seem to really exist. Not in any tangible sense. They were fake - props to populate the city. But for a moment she thought about the poor tank. Did it have a family? A life?


Well no, obviously, but anyway...


She laughed quietly. Power. There was an expression claiming it corrupted, and God had it corrupted her. She was an unstoppable and incredible badass. She wanted to jump in the air and fly halfway across the city, run a thousand miles an hour, toss navy ships with the power of her mind...


But first she turned her head and saw a 12 foot alien monster.


It growled at her. Growled with the sound of anger and hatred, of bitterness - regret? would regret going after her.


It shot her, taking out a huge gun. Well, it was a laser, but it was a type of gun.


Not that it mattered, as the weapon did absolutely nothing to her.


She was the boss after all.


She walked up to it – slowly; deliberately. And punched him, litterally into non-existence. There was no matter or mass left, just nothing.


No one man should have all that power

The clock’s ticking, I just count the hours

Stop tripping, I’m tripping off the power (21st-Century schizoid man)


She looked around. Everything seemed alright for some reason. People were calm.

Which was good after all. As she was President of these United States.


An annoying sound entered her ear.


It was Kinzie, informing her of some mission she had to go on to save such and such and do such and such. But she had no interest in it. No desire to do it.


She just wanted to smash things.


She jumped into the sky, a thousand feet up. There was an alien space ship up there for some reason. A mass of metal waiting to be destroyed.


She kicked it.


It was still there.




She fell back to the ground.


She leapt up again and tried to punch it.




Then she remembered. She had to climb it.


She jumped from outcrop to outcropping, flying up the mass like a monkey would. But she was no mere monkey. It took her a couple of seconds to go up. Until she stood on top of it, nearly half a mile from its base.


She set off the bomb.


And jumped off.




She watched the world fly by her a million miles a second, and felt calm. It was moments like this, moments of complete abandon alone in the universe with her incredible power that she felt some moment of peace.


But as she landed she was in a rift. And for a second the world lost reality...




The system broken, the school is closed, the prison's open

We ain’t got nothing to lose, motherfucker we rolling

Huh? Motherfucker we rolling

With some light-skinned girls and some Kelly Rowlands

In this white man world, we the ones chosen

So goodnight, cruel world, I’ll see you in the morning


When she woke up she was in the space ship. To someone who was experienced with video games it looked a parody of Mass Effect with its angles and the costume. She was okay with that to a degree. It was her floating headquarters now. She needed to use this to get back to the earth she wanted. To get revenge for what the aliens did...


Because the city was no longer real. It was just a construct. A Matrix reality, with less Keanu Reaves. A fictional place. She wasn’t really a superhero. Well, she was still the boss, but here...


Kinzie came up. The nerdy girl next door with thick glasses and pretty hair.


“You really need to rescue Eazie.”


“Hey, you want to fuck?” the boss inquired.


“Ahh, sure.”


She jumped into her arms.


And the boss felt powerful again. But it was a different kind of power as she took her. As they had Sapphic sex it felt an achievement.  And kind of funny.


No one man should have all that power

The clock’s ticking, I just count the hours

Stop tripping, I’m tripping off the power (21st-Century schizoid man)


Later she stood dressed, as she had a conference with her Vice President.


“I had just finished 12 hours of Dead Island,” said Vice President Keith David.


“I am not going to finish it now. Let’s get those bastards.”


Why Dead Island? It seemed an obscure, even weird kind of video game to mention. Ahh, well.


“We need to weaken the Zkyons hold on the city. It’s just a simulation for them too, but it has power. It’s the only way we can get back the Earth...get back the world. It will be just like old times. Just like on the campaign trail back in Boise...”


She nodded.


Then she heard something.


Not here, but..,


My furs is Mongolian, my ice brought the goalies in

And I embody every characteristic of the egotistic

He knows, he’s so fucking gifted



Karen heard her pager go off. It was her day off.


She paused the video game she was playing and looked at it.


“Falafel,” she said.


It was her day off - her one day every week when she wasn’t the CEO of a computer company, or one of the most powerful superheros in the world. But the world didn’t know it. Not at all.


She turned off the TV, and the computer, got out of her pyjamas (which weren’t very sexy) and into her white and gold costume (which was). It pushed out her large boobs to almost a deforming level.


It was a moment that felt almost as ridiculous as any in Saints Row 4, the video game she had just bought. But well, it kind cinched around the waist.


That was something you couldn’t duplicate in video games. She had lost a pound or two in the last couple of weeks, and it was stretching her costume in weird ways. It made her fell more a Barbie then she already was.


But she opened the window, and let the birds sing.


Then Karen flew into the air.


I just needed time alone with my own thoughts

Got treasures in my mind but couldn’t open up my own vault

My childlike creativity, purity and honesty

Is honestly being crowded by these grown thoughts

Reality is catching up with me

Taking my inner child, I’m fighting for custody

With these responsibilities that they entrusted me

As I look down at my diamond encrusted piece


It was the middle of the day when she left New York.


It was the middle of the night when she landed in Africa, 10 minutes latter. And it was raining.


Videos games of course couldn’t really duplicate annoying rain could be.


But the rain was filling up a lake - and there was a very large dam in front of her that was far from stable.


She started to move at super speed, faster then the eye could follow. There was a small mountain 20 miles away that, as she grabbed rocks - pulling them out of the mountain in massive chunks, soon got smaller. She brought the boulders back to the dam and made a pile as the dam started to bulge - rock after ton of rock, more and more until the 100 foot damm had 50 tons of extra mass.


Then she used her heat vision, and started to melt the rock until it sagged into a single mass - then breathed cold air on it to cool it. Now it was a solid mass of super strong granite.


This took a while. It was an hour later, and Karen was still at it.  And the rain was very heavy. She didn’t get cold, as most people would, but she got wet. And she didn’t like being wet. It was dark too. And Karen didn’t like it. She wanted to be back home, ruling her fake country and making Emily Dickinson jokes.


She reflected. She could have destroyed the dam in maybe 10 seconds...5? It was much, much, easier to destroy then create; to conquer than to preserve. There wasn’t anyone directly below the dam, but she knew several towns and small cities would be destroyed downriver if it let go. People would go hungry if the hydro electricity failed. Yes, there was much to do at the dam, much to save. It was good of her to do it.


But part of her wanted just to destroy it. Destroy it all.


To conquer.


To rule.


To ravage.


To not be a goody-two-shoes superhero. To not be a CEO dedicated to making the world better place. To not be a woman that only creeps were not too intimidated to approach. To just be.


Oh-oh Oh yeah…

Ah -ha ah yeah.



But she didn’t, of course. She was too good for that. Ruling the world would grow tiresome. Humanity’s free will had virtue.


Would an alien goddess allow a small company in downstate Illinios to make a video game about destroying the city and fucking up The Man (even if the game is fiction, you were, technically speaking, ‘The Man’. Saints Row fiction was tricky).


No. That was the product of democracy.


The creativity of the world, its passion, was what made it worth fighting for. Its ability to surprise her was greater then any possible momentary gain.


Just momentary.


Okay maybe, slightly longer than the momentary thrill she would get by destroying the Empire States Building.


But as she flew back home she wished she could turn on a radio station in her head and listen to some cool jams.


Now this will be a beautiful death

(I’m jumping out the window, I’m letting everything go)


You got the power to let power go?



By Castor


Special thank to Dru for editing and proofreeding

(with apologies to Kanye West)









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