Written by Akane :: [Sunday, 16 December 2018 10:37] Last updated by :: [Monday, 13 September 2021 12:23]
“The joys of a blind date… last time I’ll trust an app to set me up…”
Eric was justifiably angry, given the woman he was supposed to be taking out on a date wasn’t home at the time they had agreed to meet. She’d texted him her address and that she would be ready to meet him at 8:00 PM, but the house was locked and the lights were out.
Had she given him the wrong directions on purpose, as some sadistic joke? Or was this another time where a girl had ditched him for a better suitor? Technology might have advanced enough in the last forty years that smartphone displays were now streamed directly into one’s brain, but the Timber dating app had not displayed the same degree of evolution. Every partner recommended for Eric had been either a poor match or a no-show. He was hardly ugly or bad-looking, but between bad luck with the app and a dead-end job, Eric’s prospects of landing a promising date seemed slim-to-none.
He decided to wait another fifteen minutes. Then half an hour. Then-
“FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!” He threw down the impressive bouquet of flowers he had brought and trampled it underfoot, imagining that it was the girl who had stood him up as a potential boyfriend. He was a romantic, but was beginning to feel that approach was getting him nowhere fast. Now he was tired, hungry, and cold, the sun having gone down while he’d stood in the street like an abandoned puppy. All this on top of the fact that he’d had to take a damn train to get here, riding all the way out from Manhattan to the ass-crack of Suburbia, New Jersey!
So yeah, all-in-all a waste of time and money.
“Paige,” he seethed, getting a cheap catharsis from imagining the flowers under his feet were the woman that had strung him along. “Of course she would be a Paige!”
“Ah, excuse me,” someone called out, a melodic sound like the tweet of a songbird. “But why are you standing in front of my house?” Sweet and caring, the voice sounded like it could only have belonged to an angel.
Eric’s anger abated instantly.
Turning around, he discovered the most beautiful person that he had ever beheld, a vision that put even those Enhanced he had seen on TV to shame. Her features were soft, gentle, and almost cherubically childlike, complemented by crystalline blue eyes that shone with pure innocence. They eyes were framed by a silky waterfall of long cerulean hair, a sea of quirky bangs that fell all the way down to her ass.
And what a mighty ass that was, cute and curvaceous, round as a pair of bubbles but far less ephemeral. Eric was given the perfect vantagepoint to appreciate this, as the woman was currently bending over to collect a dropped satchel, out of which a stack of envelopes had spilled. Mentally berating himself for staring at that proud behind, hoisted skyward like some geolithic drumlin, Eric crouched to assist her.
“There.” Rising with a fistfull of letters, Eric accidentally bumped into something else: the biggest boobs imaginable, buttoned-up tight in a postal shirt that struggled mightily to contain such massive mammaries. A sudden blush adorning his features, he backed a step away, trying not to stare at how the shirt’s buttons were threatening to pop under the tremendous load..
“T-Thanks.” The girl seemed adorably surprised at his reaction. “What are you doing here?”
“W-Well, I was waiting for my date, but it looks she doesn’t even want to touch me with a ten-foot pole…” he backed off again, letting out a mental cry of thanks to whatever fairy godparent had sent him this supermodel with the pornstar tits, as if to compensate for his being stood up. But why was she delivering mail at this late hour? “Good luck with your job!”
Eric was ready to leave the place, feeling unworthy of bothering such a pretty girl for even a fraction of her precious time, when she surprised him again.
“Wait! Were you waiting for Paige McDowell?” she asked in that same sweet, magical voice. It was music to his ears.
“Y-Yeah. I mean, yes, indeed. Why?”
“Well, I am Paige McDowell.”
What?! That didn’t compute. Eric’s mind stalled, putting two and two together and coming out with a total ten. This sublime hottie was his date, the mystery girl who seemed so insecure of herself that she hadn’t even attached a picture to her dating profile?
“This, uh - you and me, date?” Eric floundered, doing a pretty good impression of a landed fish as his mouth flopped open and shut, struggling to not blurt out the words ‘sex now please’.
“Ah, I understand.” She smiled again, tenderly, but somewhat melancholic, as if some great mystery had been made clear to her. “Would you please just excuse me for a second.”
“S-sure,” Eric tried to put on a suave front, but that facade collapsed into rubble when Paige literally disappeared into thin air. “What, what the f-”
He didn’t even have the chance to finish that bit of profanity before she reappeared, having absented herself for barely three seconds. Eric had just barely processed that her bag was now devoid of letters before a powerful gust of wind overtook the whole neighbourhood, battering him with such strength that he had to clutch the nearest mailbox to stay on his feet. What had just happened?
“Oh... “ He blinked, dawn suddenly breaking across his dumbstruck mindscape. “Don’t tell me, you’re an ‘Enhanced’, aren’t you?” The Enhanced were known to be demi-divines of unimaginable strength and beauty, enhanced by the all-powerful Super Goddesses into paragons of humanity.
If that was the case, then he was always certainly now the unwitting star of a hidden camera program: ‘Enhanceds at Play’, or something like that, where the beloved of the Super Goddesses used their magical blessings to mock poor souls with broken hearts. After all, what could he have to offer to such a superior being?
“Ah, kinda…” Paige giggled and twirled her delicate fingers, as if amused by something. Before his eyes, Eric saw something impossible play out - his trampled bouquet of flowers magically lifted off the ground, the mangled blooms reverting to their former unblemished shape. “You’re Eric Harper, right? You’re my date...”
Using what could only be telekinesis, Paige floated the flowers to her arms, a precious smile blossoming across her face. “Aaaaaaaaaaah, white roses… such a wonderful aroma. You chose my favorite flower. It must be destiny!”
Eric could only gawp, nodding along in stunned silence as she continued to explain.
“Sorry for keeping you waiting. Jennifer, she’s one of my best friends, insisted I attend her new art exposition in the city, and that got in the way of my work, so I ended up late. But, I’ve finished my deliveries, so we can still have that date. That is… if you want to.” She looked to Eric, still trying to process her reality-bending display of power. “You’re, you’re not angry at me, are you?”
She sounded amazingly timid for someone who had just rewound a localised pocket of time; with her cheeks puffed out she looked as innocent and unthreatening as a baby. An extremely adorable baby.
“A-Angry? With you? Of course not! I just got a bit frustrated while waiting but everything is alright now and yes I would very much like to go on a date with you.”
The words tumbled out of Eric, driven by the jackpot realisation that this was actually happening, this Enhanced cutie was serious about them going out together. No, this was more like hitting the jackpot twenty times straight.
‘Crap!’ He berated himself ‘Don’t fuck this up! Stop spewing verbal spaghetti and try to have an actual conversation!’
“Huh. So, ah, Paige, when did you become one of the Enhanced?” Fumbling for solid ground he latched onto the most obvious topic of discussion, her mysterious powers. “Is that why you’re working as a postwoman, because you can deliver letters crazy fast?”
“Well, you’re right about my work…” Paige’s hands tightened around the bouquet. She looked nervous. “But I’m not Enhanced. Speaking truthfully, I’m a Super Goddess...”
“!?” Well, that changed everything. Eric’s jaw practically dropped to the floor as he struggled to comprehend that an omnipotent being had chosen him as a potential romantic partner. Heck, why was she slumming it on dating apps, trying to pick up dates on fucking Timber? Couldn’t she, like, snap her fingers and create herself a perfect boyfriend?
“A S-super Goddess?!” he stammered. “You’re serious… as in a full-on, bend-reality-with-a-single-thought Super Goddess?” In his mind, all Eric could see were the interviews the more publicly-minded Super Goddesses occasionally gave on TV, get-togethers where they healed diseases, promoted charities, or reformed condemned criminals into new and productive members of society.
“Yeah, Postwoman Super Goddess Paige McDowell at your service!” Paige bowed, then straightened up with a sunny smile. She was acting like a young post-grad, or a high-schooler proudly announcing having got into their first-pick university. He still couldn’t believe that someone on her tier was working shifts as a postwoman! She was God for fuck’s sake! “It’s alright if you don’t recognise me from the media, I’m not that much into the spotlight compared to my more famous sisters, which is why I chose a peaceful life in the suburbs.”
Just as quickly, Paige’s smile faded and she began to fidget, tapping her fingers together as if expecting to be scolded. But how could he get mad at that lovely face?
“I-I hope it’s not a problem, my being a Super Goddess. I know I omitted that detail from my Timber profile, but I wanted to keep this from becoming some kind of hot scoop for the press, protecting my privacy, and yours…” Again she bowed, but this time in apology. “Please forgive me!”
She was apologizing to him, practically grovelling before a lowly mortal? If she was a Super Goddess, then she was a profoundly weird one. Not that Eric had met another, but he never expected a literal god could act so... cute, so bashful and humble.
Hey, I totally understand, ah, Your Majesty… Your Holiness?”
She laughed. “Just Paige, please.”
“...Paige. Sorry, can we take this inside? Speaking honestly, I’m still struggling to accept that a Super Goddess wants to go on a date with me.” He motioned to his head and crossed his eyes. “It’s kind of a lot to handle.”
“Sure.” She laughed, so gentle and kind. “Please come in.”
He followed Paige into the house, rejoicing at the sight of her generous hips swaying and sashaying from side-to-side, the way her denim skirt seemed practically molded to her glorious butt. And the legs that emerged from the hemline of that skirt didn’t seem to know where to end!
To some extent Eric knew these were pretty superficial reactions on his part, and that he should be trying to engage with Paige on a more personal and emotive level, but right now that rocking bod of hers was driving him wild!
Her actual house was pretty commonplace, nothing about it seeming out of the ordinary despite the colossal status of its owner.
“Please, make yourself comfortable,” Paige said, a casual snap of her fingers causing a cup of hot cocoa to appear on a coffee table. Beside it was a settee, on which she motioned that Eric should make himself comfortable while she fussed about with an assortment of pottery, a single touch of her hand transforming a ceramic jar into an expensive-looking golden vase, into which she placed the bouquet of flowers. “There, lovely. I’ll just need a few minutes to feed my pets.”
As if on cue, four dogs and five cats (all different breeds, colours and sizes) rushed into the room and tackled her to the ground. They landed in a giant cuddle-puddle, Paige laughing in delight while the various critters licked her in demand of food and attention and scratchies. Eric honestly felt a little jealous, and glancing through into the kitchen spotted an entire aviary of tropical birds perched on roosts, fluttering their wings and chirping happily. There were species from all over the world in evidence, some of them pretty rare from what he had learned as an avid documentary-watcher.
After that heartwarming greeting, Paige proceeded to feed her pets, individually preparing each animal’s food with motherly care, apparently taking joy from how eagerly her ‘babies’ wolfed everything up. Eric guessed there was no store-bought pet food in those bowls, based upon by the cocoa Paige had served him, which not only tasted incredible, but left him feeling refreshed and rejuvenated.
“So uh… do you live alone?” He asked. “Beside the pets I mean - no roommates or anything?”
“Nope, just me and my babies, living the simple life!” Paige replied, casually hoisting a gigantic Great Dane and cuddling the animal as if it were weightless. That was probably par for the course, given that Super Goddesses were known to possess unlimited strength.
“Uh-hmm…” Reflecting on this, Eric drained the last drop from his mug and smacked his lips. “Thanks, that was great…” Even if Paige didn’t have to make an effort at anything in her charmed life, it was a treat to receive something from a Super Goddess, and he was thankful for it. The warmth of the drink had not only driven away the cold, but seemed to be lighting a whole other fire inside of him.
“No problem!” Paige winked, prompting him to blush again as she crossed to a door and paused, hand resting on the knob “Do you want to see me feed my other pets?” Her cartoonish grin obviously hid a secret surprise. “They’re a bit more special than my kittens and puppies.”
“Yeah, okay.” Eric took the offered bait without prompting. Besides the promise of a surprise, it was probably unwise to turn down or upset a being capable of turning him into a frog, or a pair of used panties, or whatever horrible thing caught her fancy. “I’m up for that.”
Paige laughed and pushed open the door, leaving Eric instantly dumbfounded by what it concealed.
Immensity, eternity, infinity. Paige’s door had opened onto a vista of all creation, a panoply of eternal night scattered with distant stars and galaxies. She stepped through, and Eric found himself sucked after her into the mind-boggling vastness. He wanted to scream, but the cry stuck in his throat. On a more academic level, he also noticed he wasn’t dying in this frigid, cosmic vacuum. Neither the difference in pressure, nor the absence of oxygen and heat seemed to touch him.
“Don’t worry.” Suddenly he was at Paige’s side, and the gentle kindness of her smile calmed his fears as much as her words, streamed telepathically into his mind. “You’re quite safe here. The conditions of space can’t even touch my superpowered body, and this pocket universe knows you’re under my protection. So, what do you make of it?”
It was captivating in it’s beauty and enormity. Yet alongside Paige it seemed small and ephemeral, a flicker of candlelight contrasted with the majesty of a shining star…
“Just incredible.” Eric tried to answer telepathically, screwing his eyes up in an attempt to project his thoughts into her mind. Not that this was needed, since apparently Paige could read those same thoughts as if they had been written large on a neon sign. “But what are we doing here?”
“I told ya’, feeding my other pets!” Giggling, the blue-haired Super Goddess in a postwoman uniform grabbed his hand. Everything turned white, so bright Eric had to close his eyes against the glare. When he looked again, the two of them were encircled by a monstrous sea of azure flames. It was a sapphire maelstrom that engulfed entire galaxies, but Paige merely smiled at these trillions of degrees.
“Don’t worry,” she laughed as Eric batted at the blue flames, trying to keep them off his clothes. “I made you intangible for a little while. Sometimes my pets get a little cranky when around strangers, but they’re both good at heart.”
Eric checked, and discovered that his arm now phased through his stomach, as if he was a ghost. Then Paige’s words finally hit home.
“What do you mean?” Fear gripped him anew as his imagination ran wild. Was Paige implying they were about to be visited by the source of these immense solar flares?
“Take a look and see!”
Everything went dark, the firmament eclipsed by something impossibly huge. Yet Eric’s lungs were drawing breath again, and his feet rested on solid ground.
“Here comes the dawn!” Paige pointed
In the distance, a blue sun crested a heretofore invisible horizon. It’s light was bright enough to illuminate their surroundings, and gazing around Eric realised the two of them were standing on the summit of a towering sapphire mountain, one peak among a jagged range that sprawled in all directions. Down in the valleys below he saw signs of life, smoke rising from the rooftops of villages nestled under forested slopes, foothills dappled in strange blue vegetation...
The sun rose higher, and then off in another direction a second sun broached the mountains. More followed, their radiance burning off the clouds and morning mist, transforming the sky into an infinite sea of azulean blue.
“W-What is this place?” he asked, staggered beyond belief. “Aren’t we in space anymore?” The alien landscape and multiple suns suggested some alien planet, but that felt wrong… there was something ‘off’ about the horizon, which did not seem to arc so much as undulate...
“Not quite,” Paige said in evident delight. Eric’s day was turning out to be crazier than expected, and his whirling mind wasn’t helped by the image that now magically popped into his mind, courtesy of Paige’s omniscient perception.
In an instant he saw, and understood, and dropped to his knees in awe. What his mind’s eye beheld were two gigantic asiatic dragons. They looked like something out of a science fiction novel, their deep blue bodies dappled in soft white swirls that could only be clouds. Clusters of stars danced around them like fireflies.
Then the mental image zoomed in on a blinking arrow, pointing towards one of the two beasts’ strong, regal snouts.
Above that mental arrow shone these words: YOU ARE HERE.
“This isn’t a planet…” Looking around, Eric realised it made sense. The horizon was strange because this world wasn’t a spheroid, but something so much larger. Everything in view was but the ridges on a single scale, one single spec on the nose of a creature whose scale could only be measured in light-years… millions of light-years.
He and Paige were not even a dot, barely a speck of dust on the back of this cosmic behemoth. Eric stood there, quivering, while Paige spread an arm wide, presenting everything with a delighted flourish.
“Eric, meet Billie and Bobby, my pet cosmic dragons!” She was a goddess alright, a singularity that walked with absolute confidence before these amazing creatures. “They’re a mated pair, and Billie is expecting to give birth in about two or three geological ages.”
“Dragons...” Eric repeated, discovering that he could once again talk. And yell. “COSMIC DRAGONS?!”
“Calm down.” Once again Paige giggled, and Eric’s anger (and his heart) melted, because he could not help but trust in this angelic woman. “Let me explain.”
Suddenly Paige was magically attired in a lab-coat, adjusting a pair of glasses that had appeared on her nose.
“Before the emergence of the Super Goddesses, Cosmic Dragons were the biggest and most powerful creatures to exist in the multiverse.” She produced a baton from the hammerspace of her formidable cleavage and used it to indicate a blackboard diagram that had appeared from nowhere. “They sustain themselves by feeding upon galaxies, or older life-expired Universes when incubating a clutch, like Billie is right now. They mate for life, and give birth to new universes in which their young develop to maturity.
“Give birth to universes…” Eric blushed at a sudden realisation. “So does that mean that the Big Bang came… from an Even Bigger Bang?”
Paige made a scandalised little squeak, hands clasped to her mouth in shock. Then she began to laugh again, finding his awful joke to be funnier than intended.
“You dirty boy!” Her glasses toppled from her nose as she laughed and snorted. It was winsomely open, and then Eric was laughing too at the sheer crazy awesomeness of it all. They fell against one another for support, then keeled over together into a snowbank, laughing themselves silly.
“So, these dragons…” Eric at last caught his breath. “They consume galaxies, but also recycle worn-out realities into new universes?”
“Yes, but Billie and Bobby are a special case,” Paige continued. “I adopted them as pets so that I could learn from them.”
“Look down there…” she pointed to one of the villages. “Almost every part of the Cosmic Dragons are inhabited by some form of life, from the oceans of the eyes to the volcanic depths of their gullets. When they consume a galaxy, many of the devoured civilisations don’t just end, but integrate into those biomes. They carry on, living alongside forms of life that evolved from cosmic gut bacteria and parasites. There’s MILLIONS of sentient species and societies thriving across these two beauties, and they don’t live apart. Some are very isolated, down in the bones and innards, but others have learned to communicate, to reach out and explore, building railroads and highways, sending FTL spacecraft out to the wings and extremities, even crossing the cosmic gulf between the two dragons on immense generation ships. There have been wars, alliances, periods of peace and despair. Us Super Goddesses want to learn from these examples so that when Mankind goes out into the stars, we know how best to guide them through First Contact with alien life.”
“Woah… that’s, that’s a big ask.”
“...and my other project is to domesticate the dragons, and so stop them from feeding on living civilisations...”
“Wait, what?!” Again Eric was left dumbstruck, trying to process a goddess who worked as a Postwoman, looked after cute and cuddly critters, and housetrained a pair of cosmic leviathans so as to prevent an ongoing cycle of genocide. “Doesn’t that mean no new universes?”
Not to mention littering creation with burnt-out realities that no longer harboured life, decayed pockets of entropic cosmic refuse.
“Well,” Paige steepled her index fingers nervously. “Some of the more aggressive Super Goddesses thought we should drive the Cosmic Dragons to extinction, and put a stop to all that, but I thought that was cruel. They’re not monsters, just beautiful creatures feeding to survive. After some debating, it was decided that if the Cosmic Dragons are to be spared, then they need to be domesticated. And since I like animals the most, I got the job. Not that I’m complaining or anything.”
“Okay…” Eric rolled over and stared up into the sky. “So, let me think this through.” He thought back to all those nature documentaries, trying to remember the traits desirable in species for domestication. “Even if they’re your pets and you’ve begun to train them, that’s an ongoing process. In the meantime you’ve got a pair of tigers by the tail here. What makes you think they aren’t dangerous to others? Say if they accidentally ate or destroyed the Milky Way while passing through to visit you.”
“Smart guy!” Paige enthused. “But I promise you, everything is fine. Billie and Bobby are the only dragons local to the Milky Way, and to prevent them from consuming any further civilisations I’ve isolated them in this pocket-dimension inside my bathroom, which contains plenty of tasty galaxies, but no sentient life..”
“Yeah, it made sense to put it to use, since I don’t really need it myself.” Again Paige giggled. Then with a shimmering sound she seemed to blur, as if she was in two places at one. Here and… somewhere else. “Plus my precious babies needed a nice open space in which to free-roam.”
She lifted her hands as if to cup something, and out in the infinite blue Eric perceived two gigantic hands travelling across the sky. Yes, Paige was indeed superpositioned; she was sitting right here beside him, but at the same time she was also out there, magnified to galactic scale, reaching out to touch her beloved pets. “Hey there Billie.”
A phantom representation of the stellar creature manifested between Paige’s cupped palms. Gently, she leaned in and nuzzled Billie’s regal snout, planting loving kisses on its tip. Her love was obvious, and the dragon clearly reciprocated, because the very air began to thrum with a weird, almost imperceptible sound, a crooning trill that echoed through time and space, vibrating Eric’s body down to its constituent particles. Billie and Bobby were noble and almighty beasts alright, and yet nothing more than cute pets when placed beside a Super Goddess.
It was a weirdly erotic thought.
“So, if they’re free-range feeding inside this pocket dimension, how do you plan on training them to not do the same when you release them back into the wild?” Eric asked, wanting to know more about this divine woman and her godly powers. He was quickly grasping the ability of a Super Goddess to blink thoughts into reality, solving any problem in the stroke of a second, and seeing it in action was arousing as fuck.
“Oh, simple! With these.” Paige raised her hand and conjured up two violet spheres of energy, each no bigger than a ping-pong ball. “I’m gradually weaning them off galaxies and onto these all-natural substitutes. They might only look like snacks, but they’re incredibly nutritious.”
“What are they?” Eric craned closer, feeling his hair being tousled by a miniature stellar wind.
“They’re stars, not unlike our Sun, but possessing infinitely more energy, compressed into an easy-to-carry size.”
“Woah!” Eric suddenly realised the scope of that statement, and nearly blacked out in terror. “Then shouldn’t they be collapsing into black holes?! Why aren’t we being torn apart right now by gravity so powerful light itself cannot escape.”
“Because I say so,” Paige shrugged. “I know it sounds arrogant, but that’s the way it is. I desired stars possessing all the immense power of a black-hole, but none of the drawbacks, so I rewrote physics to permit just such that - stars that do not supernova or collapse into spatial deathtraps, but instead focus and intensify into gravitationally-isolated singularities.” She casually tossed him one of the little miracles, and Eric caught it like a hot potato. “I call them Purple Dwarfs.”
“Like in Futudrama?” Eric queried, and his arched eyebrow of disbelief was enough to prompt another fit of giggles.
“That’s right! Ahaha! I’m such a nerd, but I couldn’t resist! These two little stars produce as much energy as the entire Milky Way, give or take a few powers of ten. Perfect for Billie and Bobby and all their kin, who only need to consume two a month to receive all their dietary needs. Once I’ve proved the theory, I’ll begin scattering more Purple Dwarfs across the multiverse. Eventually, the only realities that will die to the cosmic dragons will be worn-out, extinct universes, heat-dead husks that they consume to produce their eggs. It’s beautiful!”
It was insane. Paige had just casually described tweaking nature’s laws to create stars that could otherwise not exist. Then she had named them after a gag from a sci-fi comedy. Again Eric found himself turned-on, face-to-face with a cute-pie capable of creating entire suns and realities, who kept cosmic-scale dragons for pets. He was entirely at her mercy, and yet felt utterly safe in her presence.
“Oh, sorry!” Paige blinked, and then looked down at a beeping wristwatch that Eric knew had not been there seconds ago. “I got so caught up talking that I almost forgot to actually feed my babies! Could you pass that Purple Dwarf back to me?”
“Uh, sure.” Eric obliged, and then Paige cheerfully tossed the pair of miniature stars out into space.
“Bon appetit, cuties!”
And then she and Eric were once again adrift in space, watching as the two mated dragons soared off into this infinity-within-a-bathroom, chasing two rapidly-receding violet specs. Eric looked towards Paige, curiosity begging an obvious question, but she answered it before his lips could even shape it.
“Even when domesticated, those two are still predators, and they prefer to chase down their food.” One snap of her fingers later, they stepped through the doorway back into her house. “Some instincts are almost impossible to tamp down.”
“No kidding,” Eric muttered. All these displays of her power were causing him to feel some very primal instincts of his own. Paige was utterly sexy, and awesome. How could a pleb like him even hope to do justice to her?
Still, he would give it a try.
“Th-thanks, for letting me share that experience. It was…” He mimed an explosion radiating out from his head. “Wow!”
“Aww, thanks.” Paige actually blushed at his feeble flailings. “You’re really sweet, Eric.” She bounced happily on her heels, breasts rising and falling like two great ships at anchor. “So, what do you have planned for our date?”
“Well, I had thought that maybe, I could treat you to dinner,” Eric stammered, blood rushing to his weiner. “A romantic soiree for two, if you will.”
“That sounds perfect, let me just get changed.”
“Oh, okay, shall I give you some-”
Before Eric finished talking, Paige had already transformed her work gear into a comfier, more casual outfit. It consisted of a white blouse, sleeves rolled up and unbuttoned low enough for him to bask in her perfect cleavage, paired with a pair of skintight navy blue pants that seemed painted onto her luscious ass and thighs. Black loafers and feather-shaped earrings complemented the look, along with a flat-cap adorned with wing-shaped decorations, a touch that seemed appropriate for this divine postwoman, evoking Hermes, messenger of the gods.
The whole ensemble came together in an instant, the final touch being a silver ‘peace’ pendant that dangled below her titanic tits.
“Done! How do I look?”
Eric gawked, both at the unexpectedly ‘hippie tomboy’ look Paige had opted for, and at how damn well she wore it. All he wanted to do was get down on his knees, tear off his clothes and worship her like the goddess she was.
“Paige,” he swallowed, at last finding the only words that would suffice. “You look cute as hell.”
“Ooooh…” she cooed, as if no-one had ever complimented her before. “Please, tell me more.”
Somewhere in his mind a panicky little Eric was pounding the “ABORT!” button, but he had committed himself. All of a sudden the words were tumbling out of him in an uncontrolled rush.
“You look… so cool and… beautiful and… at peace with everything, like all I have to do is look at you and know that everything’s alright in the world, although that’s not really a surprise, since you are a Super Goddess after all, haha, so it makes total sense that anything would look good on you, n-not that I’m criticising your fashion sense with that statement, not by any means, plase, don’t get it wrong!”
“Stop it, you’ll make me blush!” Paige giggled. “Th-thank you, Eric.”
Holy crap, she actually did like his compliments, even if his execution had all the charm of a caveman.
“No problem,” he answered. She was perfection incarnate, a being of purity and joy, an avatar of endless beauty, and she was dedicating her undivided attention to him, an utter nobody.
“Nobody’s a nobody, Eric,” she easily predicted his thoughts, and leaning in she pecked him on the cheek. As she did, a pair of very real wings erupted out of her back. “Because right now, you’re my everything.”
“W-Why did you do that?” he stammered.
“Because otherwise we’re going to be late for our meal,” she answered, flexing her new wings. They were white as snow, seeming to shine with their own soft light. Then she blinked and realised he had not been referring to her new appendages, but the kiss.
“Oh!” Suddenly she was the one blushing. “Well, I did that because, because I wanted to.”
Because she wanted to… countless people would kill for a kiss from a Super Goddess, and she had planted one on Eric’s cheek like it was nothing. It was all too much to process.
Eric had known Paige McDowell for barely an hour, but this display was enough to make him understand an obvious and cosmic truth.
He was falling in love with her.
“Well, ah! Let’s get going!” He laughed awkwardly, despite wanting nothing more than to grab Paige and make devoted, adoring love to her right here on the living-room rug. “Though I don’t know where we’re going.”
“Oh!” Paige tapped her temple. “I just booked us reservations at the city’s most exclusive restaurant…” She must have been aware of his barely-repressed lust, because with an adorable little wiggle she turned and presented her magnificent butt to him. “Wanna climb aboard?”
Oh, Eric wanted it, so much, wanted to grind his crotch against those two glorious globes and scream out in prayer the divine name of Paige. But his conscience rejected it as being beneath both their dignity. “I can’t…”
“B-but it’s the fastest way to travel without ruining the romanticism!” She pleaded, with an almost childish whine in her voice. “Come oooon”
“W-Well, okay…” How could Eric resist? Obviously, he couldn’t. “But let’s not get too weird…”
Timidly, he walked towards Paige and sat himself on her bubble-but, as soft and supportive as a plush cushion. Leaning forward to hug her from behind, he looped his arms around the upper hemispheres of her beautiful boobage, and discovered her hair to smell of cream and soft perfumes.
“Ready for departure?” Paige carried him on her back as casually as if he were a toddler. “Then let’s go!”
And like that, the Super Goddess rocketed up into the night sky, covering a vertical mile in an instant so that they could both take in the full splendor of New York’s distant skyline, a toyland vista spread out far below them. Paige hung there just long enough for Eric to savour the awesome spectacle, then she snapped her wings back and pushed like a racecar towards the city.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Eric wailed, adrenaline, lust and terror carrying him to the edge of pants-shitting reason. His hands slipped, and suddenly he found himself holding tight on two hard, fabric-clad nubs that could only be Paige’s nipples.
“O-Oh my,” she gasped, a throaty little cry emerging from the depths of her throat.
“I-It’s not what you think! S-Sorry!” he screamed.
“No-no, I don’t mind… I kinda like it.”
Well, now they were united by a piece of unplanned perversion. It seemed even Super Goddesses could still be surprised, because for all their divinity, they were still very human… deliciously, sensually human. Testing the waters, Eric did not shift his grip from her nipples for the rest of the flight, neither did Paige ask for him to let go, not until she had carefully landed in a back alley.
“Oof!” Eric tried to regain his wobbly feet. “That was… something special…”
“I know,” Paige agreed, her angelic wings disappearing in an elegant whirlwind of feathers. Then she directed a smile of absolute adoration his way. “And now we’re about to follow it up with a meal at Brooklyn’s best restaurant! Come with me!”
Taking him by the hand she led Eric out to the street. She seemed overjoyed to be going out with him, and her energy was contagious. Eric, having given himself over to this madcap experience, was beginning to notice every little detail that contributed to the undeniable perfection that was Paige: her delicate and soft skin, her sweet natural perfume, her chime-like laughter and incredibly big, alluring eyes.
Hers was a beauty that was almost hypnotic, and Eric was only too happy to fall under her spell, to give into the trance and let his passions run wild. His eyes were getting somewhat glassy when they reached the restaurant, only for a bald, muscular bouncer to bring him back to wakefulness with a single rude shove.
“But why?!” Paige protested. “I have a reservation for two!”
“I doubt it, sweetheart.” The bouncer checked them up and down. “Not dressed like that at any rate. Fioretti’s only caters to a refined clientele.”
“Hey you-” Eric was about to intervene when Paige stopped him with an outstretched arm.
“No worries, Mikey.” She beamed winningly at the bouncer. “I’m happy this misunderstanding has been solved with such alacrity.”
“No problem, Paige” And just like that, the bouncer let them pass, grinning as if they were old friends. “Step right in.”
Paige essayed a proud smirk, before slipping her arm through Eric’s and guiding him inside. As expected, the place was full of rich executives, old money and trust-fund poppinjays, dressed like penguins and birds of paradise. Hardly Eric’s usual company, yet in Paige’s presence, he walked with his head and heart held high.
Not that he wasn’t a little confused at what just transpired.
“Uuuh… so what happened back there?” He whispered in her ear. Everyone was looking at them like two hobos who had trespassed upon their proud sanctuary. So far as Eric was concerned, anyone who failed to recognise Paige’s aura of divinity was blind and beyond help. “Did you lay the whammy on him with some brainwashing magic?”
“What? No, ew… brainwashing is easy, but it’s so… disrespectful.”
The moral part of Eric agreed, while the animal in him was almost ready to beg for her to break his mind and make him her pet, her loving fuckslave. Anything to be forever part of her. Still, he was glad that she mere mortals worthy of respect.
“So, what did you do?”
“Simple, I jumped into the past and helped him with his relationship issues. Now Michael is happily married and feels like he owes me!”
They had reached their reserved table, and Eric froze in the act of drawing out a seat for Paige. “You travelled back in time? Just to do that? How long did all that take?”
“Four months, two days, seven hours, and twenty-nine minutes!” Paige chirped, and then blushed. “Really, helping him only took the better part of a fortnight. The rest was developing our friendship to the point I felt confident enough to ask him for a favour.”
Eric’s metaphorical jaw dropped for what had to be the umpteenth time tonight. Then he blinked and laughed.
“That’s insane, and I love it… from my perspective he had a change of heart in between two sentences, and you were holding my hand all the while.”
“Quiet, you’ll draw attention,” Paige waved for him to sit down, but could not hide her own amusement. “Really, after seeing the inside of my bathroom, is it really impossible for you to believe I could be in two time-frames at once?”
“No, what’s crazy is that with all your unfathomable power, it took you nearly four months to work up the courage to ask a friend for a favour. You, the Super Goddess who’s made a pair of Cosmic Dragons her devoted pets!”
“Well, yeah…” A sweet and shy little smile graced Paige’s face. “I love people just as much as I love animals… but I’ve always found it hard to connect with them. It takes a lot of work to touch another’s heart, even when you’re a Super Goddess”
Going for broke, Eric reached over and rested his hand over hers. “Well, you’ve touched mine tonight.”
It was a perfect, candlelit moment, the stuff romances are written of. Unfortunately, the menu also proved to have been written in the language of romance. Eric, who’d flunked Spanish class and never even attempted to learn French, suddenly found himself right out of his depth.
Paige however seemed right at home in this setting, despite her apparent dislike for formal dress codes. When the waiter came to collect their order, she requested a bottle of what sounded like a very expensive wine and a plate of what Eric loosely understood to be some form of spaghetti.
“And for monsieur?”
“Uh…” Eric tried to make sense of the menu, flustered and floundering. “Just… just a minute.”
“Aren’t you gonna order?” Paige asked, almost naively. She was always gentle, so, so gentle. “Aren’t you hungry?”
“No, it’s not that.” He nervously raked his hands through his hair. “I could eat an ox right now but… I barely understand the menu…” Embarrassed, he lowered his head. “S-Sorry Paige, I’m totally helpless with high society stuff…”
“Ah! That’s no problem, silly!” Paige clapped her hands daintily together, and Eric subconsciously felt her requesting permission to enter his mind. Without even truly knowing what was happening, he permitted entry, and within a second Paige had decoded his tastes and preferences like colours on an eye chart.
“Okay, so I’ll wager my divinity that right now, you really want to sink your teeth into a nice steak, or a burger.”
“That sounds great.” The thought along set Eric’s stomach rumbling. “But is it allowed in this kind of setting?”
“Oh it's just fine! Maître, a gourmet burger for my escort, s'il vous plaît."
“I’m sorry, mademoiselle, but burgers are not on the menu…”
“Oh…” Eric was suddenly disappointed, not with the restaurant, but with himself. He felt inferior and stupid, especially because this was happening in front of Paige. He might as well have had his ass hanging out.
“Don’t worry, it can be fixed.” A cerulean beam shot from the Goddess’s index finger and struck the menu, retroactively adding a new option to the selection. “There! Auroch burger with red-wine and shallot sauce, tailor-made for you.”
“One Auroch Burger for the gentleman, oui!” The maître accepted this new information just like the menu itself, as if it was absolutely normal for the restaurant to serve burgers. “It is a particular favourite of our kitchen staff, I am sure they will prepare it with much relish, ahah!”
“I bet they will,” Paige giggled as the man glided away.
“So, what did you just order for me?”
“A burger, made with the meat of the auroch, an animal that was extinct until about thirty seconds ago. I could tell you wanted to try something exotic, but have it served to you in a familiar format.”
“Y-You’re absolutely magic Paige, thanks…” Eric was starting to get nervous, because this Super Goddess was acting like his personal genie, casually reshaping the world to benefit him.
“I don’t deserve this special treatment…” He found the courage to speak, and was about to say that he didn’t deserve Paige either when she cut him off.
“Don’t sweat it, okay? I want this night to be special for the both of us.” She placed a dainty hand over his own work-scarred mit and gave it a comforting squeeze. “So I’ll do everything in my power to make it as special as possible.”
There was such tender affection in her words, eyes and smile, that Eric couldn’t help but smile back, any doubts defeated by her wholesomeness. Paige’s very presence was like a balm, soothing away his insecurities.
By the time the waiter returned with their wine, the two of them were almost lost in one another’s eyes.
“This is one of the most expensive bottles you can buy,” Paige explained as they each were poured a glass of ruby liquid. “Laid down in 2062, the year I was born. I promise you’ll love it.”
There was some definite subtext there, and Eric tried to be gentlemanly by lifting his glass to clink against Paige’s own.
“Cheers…” / “Cheers.”
Eric sipped, and decided that from now on he was a wine-drinker, even if he didn’t have the upbringing to properly appreciate all its nuances. It was as smooth and supple as velvet, but possessed a spiciness that burned better than the best whiskey he had ever tasted, flooding him with a pleasant warmth that spread from his gullet out to his far extremities.
“Did I choose well?” Paige asked, smiling across her own glass.
“Do you mean the wine, or me?” It might have been the drink talking, but Eric was suddenly feeling bold, and Paige’s stifled little laugh was the best prize he could have won.
“Am I really that transparent?” She leaned in closer, one finger drifting thoughtfully around the rim of her glass. “We’ll be waiting a while for our food. Wanna tell me something about yourself?”
“A Super Goddess wants to know about the life of a nobody who works construction?” It made no sense, not when Eric himself had a million questions and more that he wanted to ask her.
“I’m serious,” Paige insisted. “You’d be surprised how aloof many of my sisters can be - very kind but detached from the world. I want to live in the world, alongside normal people.”
Again Eric felt that subconscious trill that said she wished to probe his mind, and allowed it. A moment later, Paige sat back with a smile.
“You consider Super Goddesses a mystery, but to me regular humans are the mystery. We sisters were born with incredible empathic powers, so we have no trouble feeling the needs, wants and concerns of others, but we don’t really understand want it’s like to live as a mortal does, to feel the weight of mortality. Like a shooting star that burns brightly once and then is gone forever.”
“You almost make death sound beautiful,” Eric said thoughtfully.
“In a way I guess it is,” Paige admitted. “That’s one thing Super Goddess can never know, what it means to be finite, a single span of years, with all the drives and terrors that brings, the urges that drive people to make the most of their precious time.”
“Well…” Eric gulped, trying to offer up his soul. “For me at least, it’s a lonely thing, being human.” He took another sip of wine. “Wanting to be together with another person, but not daring to reach out, for fear of rejection.”
“That loneliness is something I’ve felt first hand,” Paige admitted, and this time it was Eric who reached out to comfortingly caress her hand.
“Well then, perhaps we can be lonely together… and someday not be lonely.”
It was the sappiest thing Eric had ever said, but it came from the heart.
“Alright…” Paige paused and nursed her own drink. “I’ll go first...”
When she just kept staring into her glass, Eric chipped in, as if he were standing up at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.
“Hi, I’m Paige, and I’m a Super Goddess…”
“Fresh!” she gently slapped the back of his hand. “But, yes, I am a Super Goddess, and chronologically I’m twenty years old.”
“Only chronologically? I’m not dating a senior citizen am I?”
Another laugh, another delighted peal that sang in Eric’s soul.
“Cheeky! Yeah, I was born twenty years ago in Potsdam. My parents own a Three-Star hotel there.”
“Ah, Potsdam.” Eric nodded sagely. “Ah, I’ve been told Germany is a comfy place to live.”
“Potsdam, Upstate New York, you glorious dweeb,” she laughed again. “Saint Lawrence County, born and raised.”
“Nice one.” This time it was Eric’s turn. “Well, I’m another proud Upstate New Yorker, twenty-five years young and proud. My Dad owns a used car dealership in Albany, and my Mom works for the city traffic department. As for me…” Eric stalled, and sighed. “Honestly, I’m pretty unremarkable. I barely got through high school and don’t exactly have great prospects, but I work really hard in my construction job, and-”
“-and you’re funny, sweet, charming, and a little bit naughty,” Paige interrupted. “I don’t care if you are poor or rich, smart or uneducated. If I wanted to, I could literally create some ‘ideal’ boyfriend, but there would be nothing genuine in a relationship like that.”
“Thanks.” Eric was still reeling from the compliments she had sent his way. Funny, sweet, charming… “But I can’t really offer that much to a Super Goddess.”
“That’s nonsense. Right now you’re giving me everything I could ask for. Just relax and trust me when I say I’m having a great time with you.”
“Well, if you say so…” Eric managed a little shrug, as if jokingly suggesting ‘crazy gets what crazy wants’. “My hobbies include video games, watching documentaries, and fixing stuff. In summer I repair lawn mowers and roofs and cars for people in my neighbourhood. I make the odd buck off it, but I don’t really do it for the money.”
“That’s really kind of you, but smart too, finding a way to monetize something you love doing.”
“Yeah. Oh, I also enjoy going out drinking with my pals… and I sometimes make a profit off that too, playing darts. I bet you could do better though.”
“Don’t bet against me, let’s say that much,” Paige jibed, and they shared another chuckle. “Honestly, it sounds like you’ve got life pretty much sorted out, except for that loneliness you described.”
“Yeah, I’ve been looking for a girlfriend for some time now, but no one I knew seemed interested, and the girls on Timber always rejected me before long, saying I was ‘bland and unimpressive’.” Almost instantly his spirits lifted. “And then the best girl possible not only chose me, but seems to like me!”
“Honestly,” Paige looked abashed, which like every other expression just looked adorable on her cherubic face. “I swiped yes because I thought your profile pic looked cute. Sorry if that sounds superficial, but you seemed a fun person to be around - exactly what I was looking for… and exactly what I’ve found!”
“So…” Eric steepled his fingers sagaciously. “You were looking for a clown?”
“No, silly! Just a laid-back partner to cuddle with on the weekends. I love my job, but I still find it stressful sometimes. Yes, I’m omnipotent, but I’ve still gotta work for my money. I won’t cheat the system just because I can.”
“And who says so?” Eric asked wryly.
Paige began ticking off a list on her fingers. “My own respect for other people and their societal contributions, the economic damage wrought if I were to introduce worthless, imaginary money into it… uuuuuh… oh yeah, every other Super Goddess getting mad at me for ruining the complex and frail balance of this planet.”
“Sounds pretty admirable, if I were in your place I don’t think I’d have the self-restraint to limit myself like that, not presented with infinite possibilities.”
“Yeah,” Paige shrugged and smiled, a little sadly. “It’s pretty hard to be selfish when you can literally see the strings of fate tying everything together, and have an inbuilt empathic urge to preserve life and harmony and humanity’s right to self-determination. That’s why you don’t see Super Goddesses ruling like tyrants. We’re guides, not governors.”
“Except for that lady in Japan, the Super Goddess who now sits on the Chrysanthemum Throne.” Eric countered, prompting a pout.
“Empress Shizuka is one of my beloved sisters, thank-you-very-much.” Paige booped him playfully on the nose. “And even she delegates authority to an elected Prime Minister and Diet - her Imperial Dictates are limited to weird little quirks that scratch some personal itch, like mandating fetish-wear swimsuits be worn as Japanese high school swim gear.” She suppressed a snort of laughter.
“Then on the other end of the economic seesaw there’s you…” Eric mused. “Working for the Postal Service? That’s even weirder, now that I think about it. I mean, I can’t think of anyone who still uses physical mail nowadays.”
“Well, I’m a special kind of mailwoman. I joined the USPS when I was eighteen, but even back then it had become a niche service only two types of people still used.”
“Let me guess,” Eric ventured. “Romantics and pedantics.”
“Yup!” Paige chuckled wistfully. “Don’t get me wrong, older folks that don’t possess a home teleporter still use regular mail to transport goods but… let’s say my designated post office wasn’t in a good position, and their funding was getting cut thinner by the government year-after-year. After all, people don’t like their tax dollars going to the upkeep of what deficit hawks call ‘redundant services’.”
“Just like the libraries,” Eric felt a pang of nostalgia. “So, I guess you don’t get paid much.”
“Actually, I get paid quite a bit. But that’s because my position is pretty unique. I understood I couldn’t finance myself just working for the USPS, so I went international, got myself hired by any postal services that still delivered physical mail. Deutsche Post, The Royal Mail, PostNord, La Société Mauritanienne des Postes…”
“You really love delivering mail that much?” Eric gawked, and snapped his fingers. “That’s why your uniform is so stylized! It doesn’t have any identifying brands on it because you’re an independent contractor!”
“Yes, exactly!” Paige kicked her legs happily, apparently overjoyed that he understood the significance of her workwear. “People recognise me instantly in this business anyway, so I’m allowed to wear a customized outfit as long as it looks professional.” Curling one of her gorgeous blue locks around a petite finger she took another sip of wine. “In light of my abilities, none of my bosses have a problem with me moonlighting for different post offices, despite my American citizenship.”
“All those deliveries must involve a lot of legwork, given the…” he spread his arms, trying to encompass the world. “...distance…” Eric understood well enough that petty logistics were concepts that Super Goddesses defied on a daily basis, but he wanted to know more about the nitty-gritty of Paige’s divinity. “How do you manage?”
“Easy really. I store billions of letters and parcels in my personal hammerspace, and then simply run fast enough to deliver them in a single shift. I could theoretically sprint so fast as to be everywhere at once, but once you approach lightspeed the potential risk of destroying the planet outweighs any gains. But yeah, I do cover a fair distance everyday. Let me see....”
Eric watched, imagining her superpowered brain performing the calculations. Within seconds she had an answer for him. “So today I ran 77,506,899 miles in the span of eight hours, a sustained average of 2,691 miles per second. If I didn’t bend reality around me while doing it, planet Earth would be toast! And my cute little work boots too…”
“Wow…” a shiver of fear, arousal and adoration ran through Eric’s whole body. “You’re incredible Paige… you do things that… that just leave me shaking in awe.”
“Well, I do have a sideline, something a bit more personal and human. There are people out in the world who just want to tell others how they feel, or gift something meaningful, but who have no way to do so without calling upon a higher power.”
“That’s where you step in, right?” Eric leaned closer, fascinated. “Please, go on”
“So, I deliver letters and packages that cannot be sent by normal means. Earlier today, I travelled back to 1985 because a very old, senile lady in Paris wanted to tell her mother that she had always loved her, and regretted the hurtful words she said on her deathbed. I even got to present a box containing the daughter’s old teddy bear. It was a sad moment, but incredibly moving.”
Eric could see genuine melancholy in her eyes. What’s more, he understood.
“Those feelings are normal,” he squeezed her hand, then refilled their glasses. “I remember how awful it was when my grandparents died, but knowing there’s someone out there helping people through such a crisis is pretty heartening. It sounds like you bent time into a pretzel to achieve something sweet and considerate, and that’s a feat to be proud of!”.
“T-Thanks!” Again Paige blushed, though it seemed impossible to Eric that he was having this effect on so elevated a being. “There was also this kid, who dreamed that he was a millionaire in an alternate dimension. Well, I looked into it, and it turns out those dreams were true! Now the two of them talk once a week thanks to my special delivery service, giving each other tips and encouragement. It would be really cool if I could someday arrange for them to meet in person.”
“Well, it looks to me that you love your job, but do a lot of good with it. That's really something, Paige...”
Gazing into each others’ eyes, their hands and faces drifted closer together, fingers slowly interlocking as some strange gravity guided them towards a tender rendezvous…
“Dinner is served, madame et monsieur!”
The waiter’s return interrupted any potential game of tongue hockey, and the young couple sprang apart with a mutual yelp, just in time to receive their two plates of food. A pyramidal mound of spaghetti for Paige, served with sauces Eric had never seen before, and a giant meat burger for himself. It smelled like heaven.
With whatever magic had been in the making stopped cold, Eric decided to concentrate on eating. But the first bite of the succulent burger almost brought tears to his eyes.
“This is just great, Paige!”
“So, I guess I did choose well…” she grinned, before sucking an entire strand of glistening pasta straight up into her oh-so plump and kissable lips, a sight of such marvelous eroticism that Eric couldn’t help but pitch an unfortunate erection.
Apparently, the spaghetti itself was both magical and infinite, and Paige wouldn’t be likely to finish consuming it until her trans-dimensional belly considered itself satisfied. And in her winsomely naive way, every moment of her repast was loaded with sexual subtext. Sometimes she twirled a fork into her spaghetti until it formed a distinctly phallic shape, and then eased it past her hungry lips with lewdly contented moans, or licked a drop of sauce from her finger in a way that filled Eric’s mind with lusty imaginings.
Long before he had finished his burger, Eric’s balls were practically groaning with barely contained arousal. Once finished eating, and seeing that Paige still had a long way to go, he excused himself and bolted to the restroom, where he jerked off in a cubicle while fantasising about those perfect lips wrapping themselves around his dick, sucking and coaxing and licking, edging him towards a Nirvana in which they were united in eternal ecstasy. As he came hard into the toilet bowl, Eric realised that tonight might have awoken a few new fetishes within his psyche.
By the time he had cleaned himself up and returned to the table, Paige had finished with her unlimited pasta, and awaited him with a knowing look in her eye.
“Sorry about that,” he explained. “It was an emergency, I was like, ready to burst.”
“So I see...” Paige winked, and once again it took all of Eric’s self control to not fall on his knees and start worshipfully eating her out. She looked like a pure and innocent angel, but she awoke the most devilish of desires in him. He didn’t even care that she knew what he’d gotten up to in the restroom. If anything, the fact that she seemed amused instead of repulsed was not only hot as fuck, but very encouraging!
“So, wanna go have some fun?” Paige asked, opening her purse and producing more dollar bills than it seemed capable of storing. Eric mentally screamed when she showed him the bill, given that the wine alone had cost $600, but he still tried to put some money towards the costs.
Paige refused however. “It’s the first time in a long while that I’ve had something wonderful to spend my earnings on. Please, let me cover tonight’s expenses. You being here is payment enough.”
“Su-sure!” Eric could hardly believe the date was going so smoothly. They both found the other interesting, had instant chemistry, and every one of Paige’s teasing flirts promised tonight would end with a literal climax. Plus, she was loaded. It was an altogether incredible experience.
The next three hours unfolded much like a standard rom-com date montage. They strolled along the Coney Island boardwalk, eating ice cream and happily talking about trivial nonsense, then proceeded to a trendy nightclub recommended by one of Paige’s friends, where they danced to the music until the doors shut. Despite the crushing crowds, Paige’s superior vision meant they never got separated for long.
It was raining when they got out, forcing a dash to shelter under a nearby overpass. Paige dried them both out with a snap of her fingers, then lifted her gaze skywards
“Hey clouds! I’m in the middle of a wonderful date! Could you stop crying, pretty please?!” She asked all this in a goofy tone, a funny, pleading smile on her face.
“Of course, Paige! Whatever helps you find a good boyfriend!” answered the clouds, and even as Eric checked his ears to see if he had imagined that reply, the cloudburst ended and the overcast cleared, leaving a beautiful starry sky as the only ceiling to their romance.
“More Super Goddess magic?!” He asked, trying to take things in stride.
“Yup! I can communicate with inanimate objects, even abstract concepts, and ask favours from them. It’s pretty fun!”
How could anyone say that with a straight face?
“Woah!” Eric threw back his head and laughed. “That’s a big one to wrap my head around, even when it’s you we’re talking about, Paige.”
“Oh, that’s nothing!” She took his hand. “Wanna see something really cool?!”
Suddenly they were two thousand feet over the middle of the East River, and falling fast. Once again, Eric screamed while Paige laughed.
Gravity failed in plastering them over the freezing water. Instead Paige reached out, and the surface of the river rippled under her telekinetic might. Then the mighty East River opened up like a door, and the two of them dropped through to see…
Yes, Dear Reader. You.
“Neat huh?” Paige grinned, looking from Eric then back to yourself. “What if I told you we’re both part of a pornographic story written by an author named Akane, and proof-read by some deranged Brit? That person masturbating on the other side of the screen is reading about what we’ve been getting up to, isn’t that crazy?”
“Crazy…” Eric repeated, flopping back to sit on his own “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH”, which made for a convenient butt-rest.
“Hey, you!” Paige yelled out of the screen. Eric could see both of them reflected in the confused reader’s eyes… your eyes. “Remember to like and favourite this story, alright?”
This was getting too meta for Eric, and probably for yourself as well. Is the Super Goddess about to abandon the story and step into the real world?
“Well, I hope you’re enjoying our little sexcapades, but we’ve gotta keep going!”
And having left you speechless, she closed the popup window she and Eric had appeared through, taking themselves with it. You, by this point, are probably wondering what the fuck had just happened, your PC display having reverted to the its usual appearance....
“W-what, was that?” Eric panted. They were back in New York, sat atop one of the towers of the Brooklyn Bridge. He tried to steady himself, struggling to process a glimpse beyond the veil that made Cosmic Dragons look like a pair of pet iguanas.
“That was another dimension, where we’re both fictional imaginings. I can do all kinds of stuff like that, and this was the first time I got to share it with someone.” She jumped onto the flagpole at the centre of the tower and hung off it, sweeping her arm out towards the city, the sky, and the myriad of lights reflected in the river. “I want to share everything I am with you!”
That proclamation was more than enough to calm Eric down, even after that fourth-wall-breaking feat of ultimate power.
“Rad…” he whispered, weeping tears of joy. Suddenly Paige was back at his side, taking his hand and leaning on his shoulder. She was love and light and warmth and compassion made divine flesh, and Eric could no longer keep his own feelings locked away, not after the best day of his life.
“Paige… I had so much fun tonight. You’re cute, kind, spontaneous… sometimes a little terrifying, but in a way that awes and amazes me. You’ve changed everything I know about the universe, made life so much more profound and meaningful in just a few hours. I wish I could spend every moment beside you…”
“What do you… o-of course I had a lot of fun too but…” Another stare-off resulted, one even more magical than back at the restaurant, with no one around to interrupt it…
“Paige…” Eric swallowed, again feeling that energy drawing them together. “I think I’m in love with you.”
That was it, the die was cast. Now he could only hope Paige would understand his feelings, and not laugh at him. But how could she want to be his girlfriend? He was just a normal, boring guy, and she was among the most powerful beings in the whole Universe.
“What a giant pair of balls I’ve got,” he laughed despairingly. “Me, trying to romance a Super Goddess.”
“Don’t…” she touched his face, brushing away his tears. “Don’t make fun of yourself like that Eric...”
She strengthened her grip on him, as their lips drew closer and closer together.
“...because, big balls or not, I think I love you too.”
Contact. Lips locked together, they kissed passionately for what seemed like an eternity. Paige was smiling when their mouths parted, shedding her own tears of happiness.
And then she was alone, and Eric was gone. That moment of pure love had come, and at its apex, he had vanished without trace.
“Not again… why… ?” Paige lowered her face into her hands, weeping now with pain instead of joy. And as she cried, the clouds wept for her, and the rain came pouring back down...
The saddened Super Goddess flew home in a state of complete emotional dismay. It was not the first time something like this had happened, but this time she’d dared hope that she had found someone she could finally love and live with.
“So close!” she moaned, throwing herself face-down onto the couch. Her pet cats and dogs came running to comfort her, but their love and companionship was not the kind she desired most of all. “We were so close!”
So close to genuine, romantic love… yet that tiny gap yawned wide as the void between stars. Paige had learned long ago how crucial that divide was. Eric was not the first to vanish like that, and she feared he would not be the last.
Because all of them, all of her prospective boyfriends and girlfriends and non-binary dates, all had fallen in love not with Paige the person but Paige the concept, Paige the impossible ideal, Paige the Super Goddess. In their stupor, they desired an eternal union with her divinity, and so that became their truth, merging them forevermore with herself, joined in the joy and glory of the dozens of souls that had already done so.
To become part of a Super Goddess was by far the most ascetic experience anyone could imagine. A constant, unrivalled euphoria, from which there was no turning back. It was the kind of phenomenon unique to beings like herself, a quirk of synchronised wants and desires, enabled through Eric having already given Paige subconscious access to his thoughts and innermost identity. Thus his unique existence had collapsed into Paige’s powerful, passive, reality-bending magic, body and soul united with her own.
And Paige, with her libido running loose, surrendered to the frenzy of her desire, had allowed this magical merger to happen once again, unable to hold back or deny what her potential boyfriend wanted with all his heart.
As she had told him, it was so very hard to be selfish when you were a Super Goddess. In that lustful, transcendent moment, all she had wanted was for Eric to be happy, which he definitely was now, though, his existence eternally entwined with her own, unified with the Goddess he loved more than life itself.
Other Super Goddesses found it easy to love, openly and selflessly. For all their superiority to normal humans, they desired a horizontal relationship with humanity, not a vertical one. They sought neither serfs or slaves, only to share their love. Thus they took lovers frequently and openly, living in the moment and in the world.
But Paige wanted more, hungered for a more personal, intimate relationship. Not for a bevvy of lovers or a harem, but a single human heart that loved her alone, and which she could love in the same way.
It was selfless, and selfish, and utterly human of her. And so, like any other heartbroken young woman, she turned to a friend for comfort.
“Hey, Suzie.” She croaked into her cellphone, feeling like she was about to break down at any moment.
“Oh no, Paige…” her best friend answered, offering consolation. “Agape again? I’m so sorry…”
“I’m the worst!” Paige moaned, grinding a palm against her teary-eyed face. “I’m the worst kind of Super Goddess! I’m a selfish, irredeemable bitch!”
“No, don’t talk like that!” Suzie insisted over the phone. "You're a wonderful, sensitive, compassionate girl who has so much love to share, and who only wants that love to mean something. Come here, Paige; you can spend the night with me."
“Yeah…” Paige hung up the phone and cried alone for a while, surrounded by her beloved pets. “You feel, you empathise… but you don’t understand.” A melancholy smile tugged at her lips at the thought of those words, and the memories they lit of her wonderful few hours with Eric, and all their discussions on what it meant to truly understand someone. “I guess I’m more human than I realise.”
And so the wheel turned on. Another fantastic night with a great guy. Another failed attempt at becoming a couple with a mortal human being.
So near, so far. But someday, maybe.