RPG Girl, Chapter 3

"Who is it?” I asked out loud.

"It's Harley," came the answer from both he and Kitty simultaneously.

I squinted at my phone. 9:00. Saturday. No classes. "Go away." I rolled over, resting one arm across Kitty's fantastic, firm breast.

"Nope, I need to come in. Open the door."

"He's got breakfast," said Kitty after peering at the door. "Aren't you hungry?"

"Oh, OK." Keeping Kitty fed was going to be our main job, it seemed. I rolled out of bed and pulled on my gym shorts. “Here, put this on,” I said, handing her my blue flannel bathrobe - another gift from my mom, who still thinks I wear stuff like that.

“Here, these are for you,” said Harley, handing me a white bag from McDonalds. He had stepped inside and shut the door furtively behind him.

“Are we going to stay in this room all day again?” asked Kitty, dipping into the bag and scooping out an egg McMuffin.

“No, that’s what I wanted to say. Stacy caught me up on your conversation last night. I got the job of taking you to the gym.”

“You know, I could probably see it from here, if you just tell me where it is.”

Harley and I were both horrified by that. But then Kitty laughed. “The look on your faces! Don’t worry, I definitely want to see it in person, and I know you guys do too.”

Ten minutes later, I had downed two McMuffins and Kitty had devoured her six. She also ate the bag and all the wrappers. And the ketchup, mustard and mayo packets. Harley was reaching into his backpack and pulling out two garments.

"I thought you might need these," he said, holding up a sports bra in one hand and a bikini top in the other. They were both enormous.

"Where the hell did you get those?" I asked.

He suddenly seemed embarrassed. "I had a girlfriend once who was, well, she was big. I kind of stole these from her because, you know, she really shouldn’t have been wearing them anyway.”

"So, stealing is OK?" asked Kitty, turning her back and quite sexily pulling one garment after the other over her head.

"No," I said quickly, but then thought the better of it. "Not usually, but sometimes it's OK if you're stealing something that nobody will really miss." I wasn't sure I was hitting that nail quite on the head, but I did want her to be able have SOME fun, after all.

She pulled on my sweatpants without bothering to hide her amazing ass in the process. "Big help.” She turned around. “Do I look ok?”

Two teenage jaws dropped to the floor. Those enormous garments? Her tits managed to fill them out beautifully, and then some. It was amazing to see them on such a slender body.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” she giggled. “Ok, let's go."

The lounge that my door opened into was shared by six rooms. Half were singles and half were doubles, so nine students in all lived in my “pod.” So far, Kitty had only met three of us.

But Billy and Dan we’re out there, watching East coast basketball on TV, bowls of half-eaten breakfast cereal in their laps.

“Hey, what have we here?” leered Billy. “Jerry’s been doing some extracurricular activities?”

I hated the whole pod concept. It was the only way I could have a single room without paying an arm and a leg, but the flip side was no privacy. I tried to ignore Billy, but Harley, true to form, gave him the finger.

Dan was up in a second. He pushed my friend against the wall and stood nose to nose with him. Harley was kind of sinewy in build; he was not big. Dan was the opposite: a complete oaf. It didn’t look good for the home team.

As I froze wondering what to do, Kitty tapped me on the shoulder. “Bad people,” She asked?

“Yeah,” I replied. “There are worse but…” This wasn’t the time for a lesson. “Yeah. Just be sure he doesn’t hurt Harley.”

I scrunched my eyes as Dan tried to slam his open palm into my friend’s face, only to see his hand slide off to the side and slap the wall instead. He pulled back to repeat the move, but Billy called out at that moment.

“Dan! Dan! Stop now!”

The big kid hesitated. “He stuck out his finger at you!”

“He didn’t mean anything by it. C’mon, let it go.”

Dan awarded Harley with a nasty look, and then stepped away.

“Hey, they just scored again!” Billy was looking at the TV. “Those patsies!” And with that, both boys were drawn back to the basketball game.

I quickly grabbed Harley‘s shaking hand and Kitty’s gorgeous one and pulled them down the hall to the stairwell.

“You OK,” I asked Harley as we reached his truck.

Harley rested both hands on the tailgate and hung his face between them. He took two or three deep breaths and then straightened. “Yep, I’m fine.” He cocked his head at Kitty. “Was that your doing? I thought I was gonna have to get a new nose.”

Kitty nodded. “Did I do OK? I didn’t hurt anybody and I stopped him from hurting you.”

I put my arms around her. “You did beautifully. Perfect.”

Kitty relaxed and smiled.

“Hey, I’ve got a great idea,” said Harley. “Let’s take the motorcycle!”

“Um, there are three of us.”

“I know, I’ll drive, you ride on the back, and Kitty can run alongside.”

I had to admit, it was a good idea. Certainly both of us had seen Kitty run hundreds of miles per hour in the game; this would be a piece of cake for her.

I shrugged. “Kitty, you up to it?”

“Sure!” was her enthusiastic response. If you can keep up with me!”

Harley pointed to the bike. “Would you do the honors?” Of course he could open the tailgate, slide out the metal ramp, and roll it down, but why do all that with Kitty around?

We watched as the big bike floated over the truck wall and settled itself gently on the parking lot. We donned our helmets, climbed on, and started slowly off – the classic Harley Davidson rumble turning heads as usual.

He kept the speed down at first, not wanting to call attention to the fact that a very pretty young woman could keep up with him. But as he eased on to the city street he sped up to about 30 miles per hour, but then had to stop at a red light. Kitty stopped right next to us and pecked me on the cheek before the light turned green and we took off.

This time Harley was anxious to get past the next corner before that light turned red as well -- and it was already yellow. He gunned the engine and just made it through, with me holding tightly to his waist. Kitty was a little surprised by the take-off, and didn't make it through the light in time. Cars were already starting to cross, so she simply hopped over them, landing beside us and keeping up with no problem.

At the next corner I expected Harley to turn left, but instead he continued straight. "Where are you going? You just missed the turn."

"Hell no, I'm going to a gym I know in the suburbs. I want to log in some highway time."

With that, he bore right and accelerated onto the highway. I saw the speedometer hit 50 miles per hour, but Kitty kept up with us, her bare feet slapping the pavement, long brown hair streaming behind.

The wind was pretty strong at this point, so Harley turned his head to say, "What do you say we push this baby to its limit?" I glanced at my girl and grinned.

The bike continued to accelerate: 60… 70… 80. "You’re over the speed limit!" I yelled, but Harley ignored me. He was paying more attention to the cars he was passing, weaving in and out, even on the shoulder. I turned my head around and saw that Kitty had fallen in behind us now, I suppose to be able to more easily track us. But her sexy legs were running almost too quickly to see, and she was keeping up.

Soon Harley merged onto the interstate. There were fewer cars here, and he could really push the engine. I'd seen him hit 110 once, and sure enough he was getting close to that now. This wasn't fun for me anymore, I was getting really scared. A crash at this speed would be lights out for both of us, and I didn't like that idea.

Harley and Kitty felt otherwise. "Wahoo! Woo woo woo!" screamed Harley, taking one hand off the handlebars to punch the air. Kitty was now racing alongside us again and laughing. She really seemed to be having fun! Harley accelerated still faster, weaving left here, right there. On a straightaway, Kitty ran three loops around us, and then sped past us and turned around to run BACKWARDS at 110 miles per hour!

But now we were approaching a knot of cars which were going way too slow. Harley was undeterred: he swerved onto the breakdown lane to pass them. I was scared shitless. Not Kitty, though. She took a different approach. From her backwards orientation she executed a perfect backflip and triple roll, overtaking four cars, landed with precision and then continued her backward progress.

Harley saw this and once again took his hand off the handlebars – but this time it was disastrous. His front wheel drifted right and before we knew it we were executing our own summersaults as the bike tumbled into the ditch.

This is where I’m supposed to say that I saw my life pass before my eyes, but that didn’t happen. What did pass before my eyes was a confusing jumble of clouds, trees, cars, roadway, and Kitty. In fact what I remember most was the silence. After the crazy cacophony of motorcycle and road noises, not to mention Harley’s hysterical cheering, there was just the sound of wind whistling by my ears. I had enough time to think, not that I was about to die, but about how much it was going to hurt when my flailing airborne body slammed into the ground or into a tree.

But that didn’t happen either. I felt instead as if a giant hand had caught me, gently but firmly bringing me to a stop in mid-air. When the world stopped spinning I could see Harley similarly positioned, and, like a super-sexy superheroine, my Kitty situated 15 feet in the air, her arms pointing to both of us.

I was just beginning to make sense of this scene when suddenly I heard tires screeching on the roadway below us. Kitty’s arm quickly moved down and over, and a moment later there was a beat-up brown pickup truck floating in the air nearby.

Nothing else moved. Time stood still. All was quiet. Then I heard Kitty’s voice, a little shaky, “Um, Jer, what do I do now?”

Time to move into action. It seemed that Kitty had ensured that nobody had gotten hurt, so the main thing now would be to get the hell out of here. Too many people ogling would lend credence to the crazy story they would tell and, and what if someone managed to get a video…?

As if on cue, I saw a quick beam of yellow light stream from Kitty’s eyes. Its target was obvious: a young woman standing next to her open car door suddenly jumped backward and shrieked, her cell phone now smoldering on the ground.

So one close call eliminated, but there were a number of stopped vehicles. Who knew what the occupants were doing?

“Put down the truck, gently, then grab Harley’s bike and get us the hell away from here.” I spoke quietly, not wanting to upset her.

And she carried out the instructions perfectly. We were quite a sight, if someone were to see us, Kitty floating through the air, me over one of her shoulders, a big Harley Davidson motorcycle over the other (hot engine resting harmlessly on her beautiful bare midriff), and Harley following right behind us in the air.

Needless to say, we didn't get to the gym that day. First we had to get back to the dorm without arousing suspicion, and then we had to drive Harley's truck back to our hiding spot to pick up his bike. Finally we had to have our yelling match in which I reamed Harley up, down and sideways for almost getting us killed with his recklessness. Even Stacy got into the act, her eyes wide with disbelief and rage when she heard what Harley had done. Kitty's main contribution was to basically not understand what the big deal was. Not only was she personally immune to injury and death, but she kept insisting that she could protect us no matter what kind of physical danger we found ourselves in.

Eventually we all came to an understanding, though. Feelings were hurt and mended, promises were offered and accepted, and Kitty was bored.

“Well,” she said lifting one leg out in front of her, still clad in my sweatpants, “can we get me some clothes?”

Stacy cracked up. “Yeah, definitely! How bout I take you shopping?”

“Shopping?”

“Jeez, you’re gonna like this.” Stacy shoved her open hand out at me. “Credit card please?”

I sighed. “How much you think—“

“You don’t ask that when you’re buying a girl a present. She wants pretty clothes to wear. Hot, too, right?” glancing at Kitty, who grinned broadly. “See?”

Whatever it cost would be worth it, I thought. I just might end up with permanent credit card debt. I handed her my card.

“And while we’re out, you and Harley can hatch a plan to have Kitty earn you some money.”

He and I looked at each other as the girls headed out the door.

“Are they going to take the bus downtown? Or the subway?” Harley asked for some reason. I just shrugged.

I sighed again. “Let’s get some homework done, ok? And let me know if you come with any ideas about earning some money. But it has to be legal!”