Written by CavemanNinjaJoe :: [Wednesday, 17 August 2011 13:01] Last updated by :: [Thursday, 20 December 2012 09:15]
PREVIOUSLY, IN CRUSADER OF COURAGE! Omni-woman and her ward...
“I AM NOT HER FREAKING WARD! I'M A GROWN MAN, YOU DISEMBODIED DINGBAT!”
...The Crusader of Courage, embarked on their first mission together, thwarting a gang of robbers at the Manhattanotropolis city bank. Shortly thereafter, Omni-woman was called into action to stop an asteroid threatening the city. She proved herself equal to the challenge – and yes, The Crusader helped. I guess. A little. However, their efforts inadvertently freed an alien woman imprisoned within the asteroid.
And now, on with our story...
“Ah, so, that alien in the black vinyl suit's called Deathmort, is she?” Wait, Jim, did you... ?
“Check the title? Yeah. Oh, loving the new site layout, just by the way.” Cheater. Anyhoo...
Allison Arndale. By day... she's an aspiring journalist. But by slightly later in the day, she's known as... OMNI-WOMAN! The scourge of evil, protector of the helpless, and proud owner of the finest rack...
... of spices in the state. The guardian of the city of Manhattanotropolis!
As our story begins, Earth's greatest hero, Omni-Woman, a.k.a. Allison Arndale, and some bozo called the Crusader...
”Hey! Pick on someone else, will you!”
...a.k.a. Jim Jenkins, whose name continues to appear in the title for some reason...
...are in the kitchen. Allison's over by the stove, stirring a batch of waffle batter so fast it threatens to leap out of the bowl. Meanwhile, Jim sits on a chair, thinking – something that I never thought possible.
“Hey!” you're right, Jim. That was harsh. You can sit in a chair just fine.
“What is it Jim?”
“Ugh, its that damn Narrator again! That guy is... intolerable!”
Hey! Same to you buddy!
“Uh huh,” Allison says sceptically. You know something Jim, I don't think she believes you.
“Oh, will you stop your waffle, already!”
“What did you say to me?!”
“Wha...? Oh, er... I was just asking if the waffles are ready.” Hmph. Smooth.
“Soon enough Jim. Anyway... Jim, I'm not really sure how to say this... but...”
“What is it Allison?”
“...would you have a problem with it if I handled the next call we get solo? I mean, I've been doing this hero thing for a while now...” she flexes her slender, sexy, yet deceptively powerful arm, “... and I think I'm ready to give it a shot.”
“Um... Sweetie, I'm not sure that's such a good idea,” Jim says cautiously.
“What! Why not!”
“Look, Allison, there's some really, crazy powerful alien chick out there right now. If you ran into her... I'm not sure...”
“That I could take her? Don't worry about me, Jim. I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself!” Allison says defiantly.
Jim sighs, “Yeah, I suppose. Of course, that's just what you said right before Professor Crazypants caught you in a hamster-ball,” He jokingly reminds her.
“Okay, so maybe I slipped up that one time....”
“Then there was that thing with that giant crazed robot that scooped you up off the street....”
“Well, you see...”
“Or how about the time those mutated rednecks trapped you under a cardboard box?”
“Or then there was the time...”
“Okay! I get it!” Allison yells.“You think I'm some helpless little damsel in distress who can't leave the house without getting tied up, gagged and bound to some railroad tracks, is that it?!”
“What? No, I'm just warning you not to get overconfid...”
“Well I've got news for you, Mister! Yeah, I used to get captured a lot, but if you haven't been paying attention, things have changed.” Allison marches over to Jim, and plants her hands on his chest, “After all, the old me couldn't have done this!”
Before Jim can react, Allison gives him a super-powered shove. The astonished Jim flies across the kitchen, out the open door, through a double brick wall, and finally crashes down onto the hedges below. Jim looks up to see Allison standing in the newly-minted hole in the wall, smirking.
“Oh, yeah, real mature Allison!” Jim grumbles, pulling himself out of the thicket, he gets to his feet, still picking small twigs out of his once neatly quaffed black hair. “Look, Allison, I know you're quite capable, but...”
“Oh, so you don't mind if I leave you behind for the next mission?” Allison asks sweetly.
“Yes, I do.”
Jim flies up to the hole, and floats back inside the mansion. “I know you can look after yourself Allison. The problem is Deathmort,” Jim tells her.
“Oh, you mean this alien woman I've never heard of? And how do you know about her Jim?” Allison says suspiciously, “Did you two 'meet' when you went into outer space?”
“Did you… er… boldly go where no man had gone before?”.
“What? No! I only know about her because...”
Jim's objection is cut short when their loyal butler, Alistair Flint-Smith, walks into the room. “Excuse me madam, but the Omni-Phone has been ringing for some time now.”
Allison sighs, “Thank you Al. Come on Jim.” The two of them head down the long staircase to the basement, bickering all the way.
“Look, Allison, I know about her because I read the title of this story, and I guarantee she'll be here soon, and we need to be ready for her, or a lot of people could get hurt.”
“Oh not this again Jim!”, Allison says angrily, as she stomps down the stairs, “Are you really going to try to tell me that we're just characters in some guy's story! Cause I'm not buying it!”
“Well how do you explain me knowing about that lab Crazypants had?”
“I don't know! Maybe you'd been there before!” Allison yells at him, just as she picks up the Omni-Phone. “Hello Mr. Mayor,” she says irritably.
“Oh, Omni-Woman, thank God. Um, you sound a little flustered, is everything okay?”
“I'm fine. Just fine. Really,” she says brusquely, sending a death glare in Jim's direction. “What's the problem Mr. Mayor?”
“The police are trying to serve a search warrant on a mob owned warehouse in the industrial district, but they can't get anywhere near the building. We need your help!”
“Got it Mr. Mayor. I'm on my way.” Omni-Woman says, hanging up the phone. “Now, Jim, if you'll excuse me I've got to go deal with this,” Allison says pointedly.
“Allison, we've got bigger things to worry about...” Jim pauses for a moment. “Look, she's going to arrive in smack the middle of the city, a lot of people could get hurt!”
“Look Jim, if you're so worried about it, why don't you just go and wait for her!”
“Fine, maybe I will!” Jim says angrily. He storms out of the room. Moments later, he returns.
“Wait, my costume's this way...” Allison rolls her eyes as Alistair walks back in.
“I've got to go Alistair, could you get that wall fixed while I'm out?”
“Certainly Madam. Though if you don't mind me asking, how did it get broken?” Alistair asks.
“Jim...” Allison stops abruptly, deciding she'd rather not discuss it.
“... he... sneezed.”
“Sneezed, Madam?” Alistair says dubiously.
“Yes,” Allison says, “I think he might be coming down with something.“
“ACHOO!” Allison covers her mouth, but her faked sneeze shakes the whole mansion nonetheless, sending picture frames toppling off shelves, old suits of armour rattling up and down the long corridors, and knocking down a collection of antique weapons in the east wing.
“Uhh, I think I might be getting it too.”
A few minutes later, we find Jim - now disguised in his secret identity as the Courageous Crusader - flying towards downtown Manhattanotropolis, and Steeling himself for the battle that lies ahead.
“Okay, nearly there, just a few more minutes...” Jim mumbles to himself. He's been doing that a lot lately.
“Hey! I'm talking to you, not me!”
Tell it to Allison. Honestly, being engaged to a crazy man, I don't know how she deals with it...
“But I'm not crazy!”
No, just a little unwell. So, Jim, you're a lone crazy person on your way to fight an incredibly powerful enemy, without backup, without any solid idea of what she might do to you, and a disembodied voice whispering in your ear. So, what's the plan of attack, tough guy?
Yeah, that's what I thought. So why the hell are you doing this, again?
“Why? Because if I don't, that woman is going to show up in the middle of the city, and hurt a hell of a lot of people!”
Okay, but um... if you'll forgive my saying so, how is going there now, you know, before Deathmort arrives – how is that going to help? Are you going to show up there, and throw a really slow punch so it hits her when she gets there? I hate to break it to you pal, but you haven't been able to do that since issue thirty-four.
“So what would you suggest, smart-guy? That I just sit around and wait for her?”
Yep. Pretty much. Or you could always go see what Allison's up to? Maybe give me a neat transition over to her scenes?
Jim sighs. He seems to be thinking my suggestion over. “Alright. Fine, I'll go to the warehouse,” he says at last.
“Hey, was... was that a pause in your narration?”
Yes Jim. Yes it was.
Okay... mind if I ask why?”
Because I'm surprised.
“Surprised? About what?”
Well, you said you were going to go to Allison, but... well... I can't help noticing that you're still flying towards downtown, and the warehouse is in completely the opposite direction. What gives? Are you going to go to her or not?
“I am, but there's something I need to take care of first....” Jim says, grinning mysteriously. Why is he doing that?
What the heck is that guy doing? He...
Huh? Oh! Um, Right! Meanwhile, back at the mansion, Allison stands before a set of two large steel doors which she flings open, revealing a glass display case. Inside her blue, one-piece Omni-Woman costume hangs on a loose wire framework. She plucks the uniform out, and sets it down on a chair in the corner. She's breathing heavily. Her heart racing in anticipation of the great task that lies ahead.
“Okay, take down a bunch of mobsters, how hard can that be?” the gorgeous blonde asks herself, hastily unbuttoning her white blouse. In her rush, she inadvertently snaps off several off the buttons, however she's so distracted she doesn't notice. “Just... fly in, grab their guns, fly out. Simple, right?” she continues as she tosses the blouse aside, sending her large, firm breasts jiggling like big balloons full of jelly.
“Augh...” Allison unexpectedly shudders, sending another shockwave through her generous jugs. I Honestly didn't expect that. “Why did... eh, whatever,” she says, putting it out of her mind. She slides her sensible skirt down over her long, firm legs, wiggling her toned, round ass from side to side.
“Augh... yeesh, it's freezing in here!” Um, hmm, that isn't supposed to be happening. Weird. Anyhoo, Allison daintily steps out of the skirt, and throws it aside, leaving her standing around in nothing but her dainty, lace underwear.
“Anyway... I could just try running in and grabbing their guns, but what happens if I miss one? What if they have hostages or something...” she worries, even as she plucks her blue spandex costume off the chair, and carefully slides into it, one leg at a time.
“... no, I can't think like that. I'll... I'll get them all. Somehow,” she mutters, as she struggles to reach around and pull up the zipper over her sexy back.
“Augh... yeaurgh!” Allison shudders.
Why? Don't ask me, it's not in the script! “Ugh... well, anyway... I'll just make sure to ask the cops what's going on when I get there. Maybe they'll already have something planned... Oh fu.... fudging heck! Get out of there!” she yells, As her musings are cut short by the bright red cape caught in her zipper.
Within minutes, Allison – now fully suited up in the blue, red and yellow – is hovering high above the industrial district of Manhattantropolis. As she surveys the scene below, she soon spots the warehouse the mayor was talking about - but then it would be hard to miss it the warehouse surrounded by flashing red and blue police lights.
As she descends, her ears are assaulted by the noise of the police sirens. It drowns everything else out. Everything, that is, except for one policeman in the middle of the warehouse carpark, barking orders into a megaphone.
“Come out with your hands up!” the cop demands, “If you do not comply, we will be required to use force!” His announcement is met with a ringing echo of gunfire from the upper floors of the warehouse. People all around duck for cover as the bullets spray all over the parking lot, kicking up chunks of ashpault where they strike.
“Screw you pig!” the gangster yells, eliciting guffaws from his fellow outlaws as the onlookers get back to their feet.
As the gangster heads back inside, Allison floats down to talk to the policeman with the megaphone.
“Are you the one in charge here?” Allison asks, with as much authority as she can muster.
“Yeah,” the cop says, shaking Omni-Woman's outstretched hand, “Name's Bradley, Lieutenant Bradley, and damn am I glad to see you Omni-Woman! We've got a real nasty one here, and we could really use the backup.”
“How bad is it?” Allison asks, “The mayor was a little sketchy on the details.”
“It's real bad,” Bradley tells her grimly. “About a twelve on a ten-scale of badness. Maybe even a thirteen. Apparently these guys showed up at the warehouse about an hour ago, and tried to shake down the manager... you know, for 'protection'... and one of the employees called 911. So we showed up about a half hour later, and they announced that they'd taken hostages.”
“You've got to be kidding,” Allison mumbles, her hopes sinking, “How many hostages?”
“According to the warehouse's roster, there were fifteen staff on shift at the time, but...”
“...but?” Allison says nervously. She knows this can't be good.
“Apparently it was 'bring your child to work' day today.”
“It gets worse. It was 'bring your pet to work day' as well.”
“You have got to be joking,” Allison said, her face sinking.
“Also, we've been told that the warehouse contains a variety of highly combustible chemicals, several of which may ignite in the event of a fire fight.”
Allison, despairing, puts her head in her hands, and starts massaging her temples. Of all the missions she could have picked to start out... “Anything else I should know?”
“Yes Omni-Woman, now that you mention it. Apparently one of the gangsters brought a rocket launcher...”
Allison's eyes nearly pop out of her head in shock. “What in the heck was he doing with...”
“...also, the warehouse contains a shipment of priceless paintings on loan from the Louvre, a T-Rex skeleton, a collection of giant pennies, thirty-seven circus clowns packed into a car, and the mayor's daughter.”
Omni-Woman just stares blankly at the Lieutenant.
“Apparently she's going steady with one of the clowns,” the Lieutenant adds, shrugging his shoulders.
“Uh... I... wha...” Allison stammers, “Okay, fine, whatever. Any idea how I can get in there unnoticed?”
“Well, we've found a way in through the sewer syst...”
“Any others?” Allison asks quickly, her nose wrinkling.
“Hmm....” Bradley grabs what appears to be a schematic of the building. “Well...” he says thoughtfully, scratching his chin as the two of them study the map, “... according to S.W.A.T.'s thermal scan, there's twelve hostiles, mostly concentrated near the front entrance, so this part of the building...” he points to a spot about thirty yards from the rear door, “... is pretty lightly guarded. If someone were fast enough, and quiet enough, and lucky enough, they might be able to break in through there without any of the guards noticing.”
“Alright, any idea where the hostages are?”
“Not really, the bad guys keep moving them, we can't keep track.”
Perfect, Allison thinks to herself.
“Do you think you can handle this?” Bradley asks, apparently noticing the nervousness etched into Allison's face.
Allison hesitates, before declaring, “Yes.”
“You're sure?” Bradley asks again, clearly underwhelmed by her lack of conviction.
“Yes,” Allison says, still sounding a little bit unsure. She notices Bradley looking at her. He clearly doesn't believe what she's saying. But then, she doesn't quite believe it herself.
“Yes, I can do this. Absolutely!” she assures him, and herself.
“You'd better be right about this, or the mayor's going to have my hide,” Bradley grumbles.
Omni-Woman begins to float back up into the air, “Don't worry Lieutenant.” Allison tells him, finally mustering up some conviction, “Those people are in good hands.”
“Alright, Omni-Woman. Good luck.”
Omni-Woman drifts herself over the top of the warehouse, then gradually lowers herself to the ground, staying close to the wall so as not to be seen. She slowly revolves around to face the blank, brick wall.
“Okay Bradley, hope you're right about this...” Omni-Woman mumbles. Without another moment's hesitation, she charges.
Omni-Woman's voluptuous body impacts the bricks and mortar. She crashes right on through, pulverising the wall like a sexy, blue spandex clad wrecking ball. Chunks of brick fly through the air, and come raining down all throughout the cavernous warehouse. She accidentally kicks one of the bricks on her way though, sending it sailing across the room and right through the wall on the other side.
While the dust settles, Omni-woman shakes the powdered concrete from her long, flowing mane of golden blonde hair. She examines her new surroundings. She is in some kind of storage area – the walls are lined with tall yellow cylinders, most of them labelled 'Inflammable'.
Before she can find much else, she hears voices in the next room.
“You hear something?” asks a gruff voice.
“Yeah. Better check it out.”
“Damn it, guards!” Omni-Woman mutters. She looks around frantically for an exit, but the only one she can find is a door on the far side, near where the voices are coming from. The doorknob begins to turn. Her eyes dart around the room so fast they begin to blur. She finds nowhere to run. No-where to hide. The door creaks open. The two guards step through, and begin their search.
“See anything?” one of them calls out, sticking a flashlight around behind a giant penny.
“No, I... wait...” the guard pauses, “Yeah, I think I know what happened...”
“What is it?”
“One of those containers must have blown, look at the hole in the wall there!” the first guard says, indicating the cylinders.
“Don't be stupid, Cam, they're inflammable! It says so right here!” the other guard points out. 'Cam' just shakes his head and leads his comrade back outside, giving him a slap to the back of the head for good measure.
As the door eases shut, there's an almost inaudible whoosh from the rafters. It's Allison, sighing in relief as she looks down on the warehouse from her perch in the ceiling's support beams. She can feel her heart pumping faster than it ever has before.
“Phew, that was too close,” she whispers. She lets go of the rafters, and floats herself gently back to the floor. After she touches down she activates her X-Ray vision and stares at the door the guards exited through. She looks around a bit, and sees they're long gone. She slowly turns the handle and pushes the door open, hoping no-one can hear the tiny creaking noise coming from the aging hinges.
She steps out into a corridor, and her search for the hostages begins in earnest. She stalks through the passageways, scanning every room she comes across, hoping against hope that none of the gangsters notice her bright red cape trailing along behind her. Suddenly...
“WOOF! WOOF! GRRRRRRR... WOOF!”
“Quiet down, you stupid mutt!” Alison turns her X-ray eyes in the direction of the noise. Sure enough, she sees a dog barking at some armed men. They have the hostages with them, crammed into the office, bound and gagged.
Oh, that's a good dog... okay, Allison thinks, pressing her back to the office wall, this shouldn't be too difficult. Just... just take out the guards, fast, then fly the hostages out of here. Simple. She looks around, making one last check to make sure no-one's coming.
“Will one of you shut that dog up!” one of the gangsters, apparently the leader, yells. His underling takes aim...
Then, in a flash, Omni-Woman shoves herself against the wall with all her incredible might. The drywall has nothing to offer in return, and crunches and crumbles around her.
“What the...!” the guards hear her entrance, and look up. Seeing this, Omni-Woman shoulder-charges the nearest one, crashing into him with the power of a speeding locomotive. The impact hurls the hapless criminal across the room like a ragdoll. He hits a desk, sending him toppling head over heels. His brief flight comes to an end when he crashes into a filing cabinet, sending papers shooting out in all directions. The crook slowly sinks to the floor, unconscious.
His partner, quickly realising what's going on, raises his gun. Omni-Woman has to fight down a laugh, after all, mere bullets can't hurt her!
However, her amusement turns to horror when she realises he's not aiming at her, but at one of the hostages – an old man. The thugs finger squeezes the trigger...
“No!” Omni-Woman screams. In the space of a single heartbeat, Omni woman leaps across the room. The gun - seemingly in slow motion - fires. The bullet is struck. The tip erupts in flame. The pernicious lead is released...
... and is promptly snatched out of the air by a slender, yellow gloved hand. Omni-woman holds her clenched fist up, then opens it, letting the tiny chunk of spent lead fall to the floor.
The thug, seeing no other way out, fires again. And again. And again. Over and over, Omni-woman's hands shoot out, grabbing bullet after bullet. He flips the gun over to auto-fire. He fires again and again and again, spraying shots wildly around the room. Omni-woman, for her part, snatches bullet after bullet after bullet, her arms becoming a pink and yellow blur, until she's surrounded by a pile of spent lead.
Within seconds, the clip runs dry. The man keeps pulling on the trigger, making the weapon click uselessly. Before he thinks to reload, Omni-Woman dashes over, and socks him on the jaw. The hapless ne'er-do-well immeidately crumples to the ground, out cold.
Omni-woman takes a moment to savour her triumph, but is quickly snapped out of it when she hears footsteps rushing down the hall – the other gangsters are on their way.
“Damn it!” she mutters. Not wasting another moment, she races around the room, untying the hostages – kids, clowns, and a dog named Rex among them.
“Quick, everyone, out that way!” she yelled, gesturing away from the approaching crooks. The hostages dashed off, with the last of the clowns rounding the corner just as the crooks came into view.
“There she is! Get her!” one of the gunmen yells. They come to a dead stop, and raise their guns.
However, before they can fire a single shot, Omni-woman turns and charges the mob of goons. A blur of blue, red, and yellow strikes the unfortunate gangsters, skittling them. Omni-woman brings herself to a stop just a few feet beyond them.
As she looks down on the men scattered around the hall, some trying valiantly to struggle to their feet, others already out cold, Allison starts to smirk.
Some time later, out in the warehouse parking lot, a figure clad in red descends from the sky, coming down in the middle of the police cordon. The figure marches over to Lieutenant Bradley, who is helping some paramedics load an unconscious man into an ambulance.
“Afternoon, officer,” Jim says to the Lieutenant.
“Ah, Crusader! What kept you?”
“Sorry Lieutenant. Had some things to take care of,” he replies. “Say, who was that guy?”
“Oh, that was one of the crooks,” Bradley says happily.
“Oh. Well, nice work officer.”
“Hmph. Don't thank me,” Bradley tells him mysteriously. Jim is momentarily confused. However, any questions he may have are pre-empted when Omni-Woman floats down from the sky, with two unconscious men tucked under her arms.
“Here's the last of them Lieutenant,” she says, unceremoniously dumping the pair on the asphalt.
“Nice work, Omni-Woman. Are all the hostages accounted for? Did you find that last clown?”
“Yeah, he's hiding in the T-Rex statue. Would you get one of your men to talk him out of there? I tried it myself, but I don't know what his problem is. He just keeps honking his horn at me.”
“No problem,” Bradley says, walking away. “Oh, Omni-Woman?”
“Nice work out there today.”
“Thanks,” she says. Jim just stares at them, slack jawed.
Allison turns to face him. “So, Ji... er Crusader, what do you think?” she asks him, smiling knowingly. “Think I'm ready for the big leagues?”
Jim finally manages to pick his jaw up. “Yeah. You did great, sweetie.”
Allison runs over and gives him a peck on the cheek. Lucky bastard. Come on, Allison, break it off. Break it off...
“So, Crusader, if you're here, does that mean you've given up on this 'Deathmort' nonsense? ”
“Hmm, funny you should mention that...”
Meanwhile, high above Manhattanotropolis, a white hot object appears out of the mid-day sun. It roars through the sky many times faster than the speed of sound. Its Deathmort, her pale eyes staring through the flickering superplasma at the sprawling city below. Suddenly, she shifts, and goes straight for the city.
She races down thorough the atmosphere, at speeds that would tear any man made vehicle apart. The city comes closer and closer, the massive sky scrapers seem to shoot up on all sides Deathmort flips herself over, and braces for impact.
She lands, catlike, head down, in the middle of the street, her black full-body suit still glowing. Asphalt blasts into the air, cracks open in the road, sewer mains burst and flood the street, the earth trembles at the Superwoman's arrival!
Slowly, almost robotically, Deathmort gets up. She looks around coldly, surveying the deserted city street.
Wait, deserted? This is a busy city, during middle of lunch hour, smack in the middle of downtown. this place should be packed! Where in the h, e, double-hockey-sticks is everyone?
Huh? Oh, right! The story! Um...
Deathmort walks up and down the street, scanning the building, seeking her first victim. She finds no-one. In frustration, she whips her head skyward, and screams. The buildings around her tremble right down to their foundations, but they remain standing. For now. Suddenly, there's a noise behind her. A loud click. Surprised, the silver haired Mistress of Murder and Mayhem whirls around...
...and sees a parking meter, ticking down. Deathmort walks over to the strange object.
Flying into a blind rage, Deathmort wraps her grey, clammy hand around the parking meter's 'neck', and tugs it out of the ground.
“WHERE ARE THEY! WHERE IS THEIR LEADER! TELL ME NOW, WORM!” She throttles it as hard as she can, grinning with malicious glee as the metal screams and buckles in her hand.
*Click*, *click*, *click*...
“WHERE!” Deathmort shrieks, so loudly the parking meter's glass cover cracks. She squeezes the shaft harder. The metal liquefies, and drips down her long, bony fingers.
Suddenly, the clicking stops. The little tab behind the display flips around, showing one word – 'Expired'.
Infuriated, Deathmort flings the parking meter away, sending it soaring over the tall buildings.
Meanwhile, Omni-Woman and the Crusader arrive on the scene.
“Hey, what's that down there?” Omni-Woman asks, pointing at a figure on the ground.
“That is Deathmort,” Jim says, failing to keep an undertone of 'I told you so' out of his voice.
“Oh. And, where is everybody? The streets are deserted!”
“Hmm, they are too. Good to see the police cleared the streets for our big fight with Deathmort like I asked.” Oh, so that's what you were up to! “I didn't want anyone to get hurt.”
“Er, okay then. Wait a minute, is that, Deathmort... er, person... is she interrogating an empty hot dog stand?”
“Ah huh... and... why is she interrogating an empty hot dog stand?” Allison asks, as Deathmort grabs hold of the cart and starts repeatedly slamming it into the ground.
“Beats me. Maybe we should go down and ask her ourselves. What do you say, sweetie?”
“Let's do it!” Allison tells him enthusiastically. They change course and plunge towards the ground, feet first. They land about a hundred feet away from Deathmort, the soft *thump* as they land alerting the alien abomination to their presence. Deathmort leaves the mangled hot dog stand, and goes to introduce herself.
What does Deathmort Want...?
“What is it Jim?”
“No, no, no... you can't end it there!”
Can too. Now, as I was saying... What does Deathmort want with our planet? How will our hero deal with this new threat? Will Jim realise that his butt looks fat in those yellow undies?
Find out in... CRUSADER OF COURAGE #75 – RUMBLE IN THE URBAN JUNGLE!