(special thanks to Dru for editing and proofreeding)

 

Sarah walked into the nightclub of vampires.

 

Or, at least, some vampires. There were also people she abstractly realized were what, in a gay/lesbian alliance might call an ally. Which in vampiric terms meant, well, she didn't quite know … bt it was a distinction.

 

Or maybe there was no distinction.

 

This was the problem of vampires.

 

If they were, in fact, vampires.

 

The club was really a second floor bar, in Hollywood – and a fairly small one – maybe 20 feet wide with a bar, which was tight, with a small dance floor at the end. However, it was well done, with a kind of style that could be described as early, satin sheets everywhere. It felt like the past, but no particular year. A kind of timeless quality that was, thankfully, not particularly steampunk.

 

Sarah looked at the group of about 20 … 30 … ish people. Most were in the 20s, about 85% were some version of doable, as she remembered Elaine had described them in Sienfield.

 

Goths mostly. Young, and fairly pretty, if occasionally either very thin or occasionally fat. Though not all. A fair number had the kind of designation that if you put 10 of them in the room at once, you would say – wow they’re goths – but individually, not so much.

 

The fact that most seemed happy was good. You know, it was a Saturday night, go out enjoy yourself – maybe drink a little blood. Sarah’s job was very often finding people who had elaborate evil plans, who were laughing and enjoying themselves before attempting to destroy the city. This was a much more casual meeting.

 

Of vampires. If they actually were vampires.

 

Sarah had walked in wearing her gothiest outfit – which wasn't as gothy at her high point, but what can you do? Sarah had never been a goth, but there was days very early in college where if you put her with those 9 other people that’s what you might want to say. Now she had to skimp a bit for the vaguely punkish black skirt and fishnet top over red tanktop. At least her skin was white. Actually, looking at the crowd, she had the sensation that she was trying a little hard.

 

Which often happened when she tried something like this. Sarah was going undercover to investigate a reported drug ring, and a guy on the street gave her this name. She wasn't really an undercover type superhero – makeup, costuming: not her thing. However, at some point she got a license from the police that looked legal enough, and also 15 bucks from an ATM, which meant that she could not legally be excluded. And in undercover work, that was often enough. Yes, she looked an awful lot like ‘Mazing Girl even with her – not really a disguise, as she actually needed them, but worked pretty well as a disguise, despite a million superman jokes to the contrary – glasses. However Sarah almost always looked an awful lot like ‘Mazing Girl and it worked well enough. Just being out and about without people knowing your name was a pretty good disguise.

 

Sarah looked around. The other viable strategy of jumping in and harassing people at random, while wearing a silly costume, until they responded, may have been better – it certainly would have been faster. However, it could have resulted in the problem she occasionally ran into on the street, that people lied to her,in the let sen her after her enemies sence, or into an erotic world of passion and betrayal – otherwise known as a late nite cinemax movie.

 

The world of the vampires.

 

Maybe.

 

Sarah was a super strong, super fast, super tough, and super good looking (okay, maybe not that last one) super hero. The laws of reality only casually applied to her. Which was the problem. Who was she to judge?

 

Vampires didn't exist. They where creatures of the movies (mostly) and books. There were about a thousand standards of what vampires were. In reality, these people were probably somewhere between a fetish and mental illness.

 

Probably.

 

Well … it’s a crazy world.

 

Some people had super powers, and there had several cases of people who had superpowers pretending to be vampires – which made sense, if you thought you had superpowers then thinking you were a vampire might one way to deal with that. Or maybe, that’s just what they were.

 

Whenever she was in places like this she couldn't entirely rule out such things.

 

As she sat down at a table, knocking it slightly in nervousness, a tall reedy looking man with gaunt features, and a prominent widow’s peak, moved a hand to steady it for her – in what seemed like a genuinely kind gesture, she had the problem.

 

These were people – maybe evil vampires, but in really if she put a stake in their heart that would probably constitute murder.  Sarah may be a superhero who followed the kind of code of, well, anyone who wasn't a casual psycho. Even for evil people she didn't belive in the death penality. Even for evil. Even for Adolf Hittler in a theroetical time machine(for purposes of this anology for some reason the time machine has a mustache). 

 

And besides, calling these people evil may be a stretch. Her eyes spotted a corner. A not very handsome man was drinking a girl’s blood from her neck – and given the way the girl looked, Sarah guessed it was consensual. ‘Mazing Girl wasn't going to go to a BSDM club – or the fakey-not-really-BSDM that featured chicks in leather but no actual whips or anything but could get really expensive real quickly and where mainly fake edgy shows for the rich – clubs, and arrest people. That would be wrong.

 

(Though the latter, when she came across them, did kind of offend her sense of good taste)

 

Also gay bars. In 2013 that would be beyond terrible. And was gay really a fetish? I mean, to classify them together? Ahh well, no she wasn't going to do that.

 

However, a drug ring … that was good reason to be here.

 

"So, why are you here?”

 

Sarah turned and looked. That was said out loud.

 

The speaker was a very handsome man – did she know him? He had kind of a male model look to him, with shaggy brown hair and upturned cheekbones. No … not model, more of, like, someone from a boyband – no … .maybe, like an actor? He was very handsome with blue eyes. She swore she could recognize the face, but Sarah couldn’t place him. He was wearing a kind of suit that was both a suit and goth outfit – which was quite a trick.

 

"Oh, just checking things out," Sarah told him.

 

"No, really … why are you here?" the man pressed.

 

"Who are you?"

 

"Oh. My name is Jackson Rathbone."

 

The name. Yeah. He was in the twilight movies. Which she had seen. Yes. She remembered him. Huh. LA was funny like that. If you look carefully it was easy to find celebrities … sometimes in the weirdest spots.

 

Jackson spoke, "You didn't answer my question … Amazing Girl."

 

Sarah paused to consider, and then answered. "I am here looking for a drug ring."

 

Jackson thought a moment. "A drug ring – that seems like something out of a very edgy episode of Scooby Doo"

 

Sarah nodded. "I see your point. Hey … wait a second … ”

 

"Oh … are you? Amazing Girl?" said Jackson "I just assumed, but didn't ask-are you"

 

Sarah paused, and considered carefully, then answered. "Yes. Well its spelled diffrently"

 

He sat next to her at the table. "Can I get a drink bartender … whisky, Sec …  What are you drinking?"

 

"I wasn't," Sarah informed him.

 

Jackson nodded. "You do know what the cliental of this club is? I mean we don't post it on the door … "

 

Sarah nodded. "Vampires."

 

Jackson nodded back. "You know their laws about denying entry to those over 21? Silly really. I own the place actually. You’re not here to shut us down?"

 

Sarah shook her head. "No, just looking for … ”

 

Jackson gestured at the room "This is a night club. Probably in the bathroom, but nothing explicit. You doing okay? Please don't attack me or hurt me, or my club … no big battles or dumb things like that."

 

"Yes … ”

 

Jackson chuckled.

 

"Did you want to call me master?"

 

Sarah considered this, and anwsered firmly. "Yes."

 

Okay … this was getting odd. Sarah was telling incredibly deep secrets and sharing information – kind of way-to=blow-your-cover-genius kind of stuff, to a very strange man who looked like a male model and who owned a nightclub for vampires, and … but, well … it seemed so far fairly natural – like she didn't have to give it much thought. Like all of this actually made a lot of sense.

 

Jackson smiled as a drink came to his table. "I don't drink wine. More of a whiskey man myself. We go through the vino though – it makes them feel good. Posers …  80 percent of them … not that it matters really. I’m not one to judge."

 

"What’s going on?"

 

Jackson nodded. "I'm a vampire. Believe it as you wish, I don't give a flying fuck. Probably if you did there would be trouble. So don't believe it. But that, you see, is my vampiric power, or one of them anyway. I can make people do whatever I say if I want them to. Which in this case, I do.”

 

Sarah nodded. This made sense – except, well she didn't believe him of course – but wait … fuck … ahh probabbly … fuck. Also his last sentance was a bit tortured but the gist was given.

 

Jackson nodded. "That’s the trick with any kind of hypnosis. It’s never fighting will. Being strong and tough – that makes things easier. It’s directing, not controlling. It all seems so natural and easy."

 

"So you use it to … "

 

"Well if I asked you for a million bucks the police would call it fraud, or something equally dreadful. But barring that, just being a douche. MO. Who cares? I talked myself into being a vampire in a movie – actually 5 of them. It amused me.”

 

That was right. He was a vampire in the Twilight movies. Just not the one who anyone cared or remembered. Probably, in fact, the least interesting one of the vampires.

 

Jackson considered. "Could have been the big star – but what’s the challenge in that? Really? What’s the challenge in anything? Challenge is over-rated. Why fight the world? Just enjoy it. I got to sparkle for a bit."

 

Sarah paused. This was something, if it was true, she should really care about, but she didn't quite believe it. And still … this was a nice place …

 

And wait … had she been told not to believe or do anything about it? Wait this was confusing …

 

"I am actually 49."

 

Sarah considered this. Huh? "Awkward age for a vampire."

 

Jackson nodded. "Tell me about it. But there’s babes blood … and … do you want to have sex with me?"

 

Sarah didn't hesitate.

 

"No."

 

Jackson looked her over. "How about now?”

 

 

Sarah’s reply cam fast. "Still no."

 

"Wait … I didn't phrase that into a command." Jackson nodded firmly. "’Mazing Girl: you want to bed down the incredibly sexual magestic fuck-toy that … ..”

 

And Sarah threw his whiskey in his face.

 

Jackson shook. "Hey … "

 

Sarah got up and started to walk out. "You didn't finish your thought."

 

Jackson spoke up. “That’s not how it works."

 

Sarah shook her head. "Hypnosis needs an element of cooperation to work how you want it to, and I want no part in what you have to offer."

 

"Yes you do."

 

Sarah turned. Well, he had a point. This was fun.

 

Oh fuck …

 

"Your pathetic, you know that?" Sarah told him, "Using your powers just for sex … what’s the point? Why not just masturbate?"

 

"Do you masturbate?" Jackson asked with a smile.

 

"Two or three times a day," Sarah confessed.

 

"Describe it," suggested Jackson.

 

"Well, I have a vibrator, but that’s a little strong. First time is usually when I wake up … not all the time, but maybe three times a week … it just feels so good … so I close my eyes, and just really let my body tells me what’s natural, I play with my clit a bit, my boobs … I have really nice boobs.:

 

 

"I agree," said Jackson. "Do you get off on humiliation?"

 

Sarah shook her head. "Not humiliation … sometimes do it after battles … after being in the field. Sometimes just being super strong is such a turn on … lifting tons and tons of weight … wow, it just makes me so wet sometimes … and I have to … well … I just have to release it."

 

Jackson smiled. "I am not so pathetic am I? Compared to you … slut."

 

Just then a voice came behind her, and over walked a young girl about 20. She was overweight – not the kind of rubenesque hourglass of Sarah, but very much a pear, with fiddly boobs and brown ragged hair. She looked, in short, well … like you would imagine someone who really liked twilight wearing a velvet dress. Not very threatening.

 

"Masturbating doesn't make her a slut. Having sex doesn't make her a slut. It doesn't make her super empowered, but she does. And you shouldn't do that."

 

"Yes, Mandin," said Jackson.

 

"Now apologize to her," ordered the woman.

 

"I'm sorry," said Jackson as Sarah just watched. The thing of it was his expression never changed. He was snide and condescending to the max, and he still looked snide – yet the apology was sincere. No fight, no clenched lips, It was all natural across his face.

 

"Jack gets like this," said Nandin, "He’s still very young as a vampire. We can be jerks. But he’s dreamy. Now hug mommy."

 

And Jackson walked around behind the woman and gave her a hug.

 

"So you’re the … " Sarah began before being cut-off.

 

"The head vampire. Yes. That what the Simpsons would call em, and who am I to argue with the Simpsons? Me and my little clan here?"

 

"Are there any kind of, like, drugs?" Sarah asked.

 

"Be specific," said Mandin.

 

"Cocaine."

 

"You know I don't think I’ve really seen coke in the scene since the 90s. It was everywhere then. Not to much these days. They go in shifts. Ecstasy; meth. I don't think the kids are doing anything, really, at the moment. But you can ask around. I want to keep a clean club. Marijuana yeah, but you’re not here for that are you?"

 

"No," said Sarah.

 

"I think a couple of people smoke, but no dealers like that. Wouldn't tolerate it."

 

"Must have got some bad info."

 

"We’re an easy target," said Mandin. "Always have been. Its why we stay in the shadows. No one believes in us. Easy not to believe. You don't believe either."

 

"Of course not," said Sarah. "This is silly stuff, mixed with mild psychic powers."

 

"I was a deluded but rich twilight fan, who found a star and am plying him with money to keep him happy as my boy toy. Which is true enough. Do you like the books?"

 

"Actually … yeah," said Sarah.

 

"They have their moments. I grew up very Christian, so it helps. Of course, that was the 1860s."

 

Sarah nodded and turned. “I won't bother you guys anymore then. If you see anything, tell the police about it."

 

"Will do," said Mandin.

 

Sarah walked out. Boy this was stupid. Thinking they were real vampires. God, how dumb was that? Still, as she walked outside into the night, there was a way that the night and the moment could make you believe the impossible, the strange and unproven. Something about the moon and the atmosphere, the way the fog moved, yeah, in the right … light was the wrong word. But … shadow. In the right shadow, anything could happen, even undead creatures of the night.

 

But that was silly.

 

And Sarah leapt up from the ground and soared 1000 feet up in the air … off into the moonlight.

 

Which made, like, total sense.