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The Party Trick

Written by DustyBottums :: [Friday, 31 August 2012 05:50] Last updated by :: [Thursday, 07 July 2016 15:39]

The Party Trick

by DustyBottums
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Billy Weaver thought he had seen everything.

This was why he was so reluctant to go out to another bar, to drink more alcohol, and be shot down in flames by another woman out of his league. But his friends Stan and Julian had, after much effort, lured him out with the promise that yes, there was a place that he hadn't visited yet, and yes, there was a chance that he would see something there the likes of which he would never forget.

So that's how he wound up in that really long line and the trendy new place, The AfterParty (Where Good Times Come Before -- and After!). When Billy saw the flashing blue neon everywhere, and heard the thumping beats, his shoulders slumped. "Here we go," he thought.

Just wait, Julian had said. You won't believe this, Stan had said. The line will be long,, but if you wait long enough, Julian started, The most amazing girl in the world will show you the greatest party trick ever, Stan finished.

"I'm leaving," Billy whined. His buzz was fading, and the dull thumping behind his brow had begun to match the music.

"Wait, almost there! 5 minutes!"

Twenty minutes later: "Okay, I'm out. See you guys Monday morning at the office."

"Wait!" his friends cried in unison. "You're up!"

Both of his friends grabbed him and swung him around. Billy, slightly pissed, stumbled, lost his footing, and took three steps forward before tumbling to his knees before the bar.

"What the fu--" he started to shout.

A shiny golden boot filled his vision. It gleamed like polished metal. His vision traveled up, past the sleek, powerful bulge of considerable calf muscle.

Next his eyes were treated to the sweep and bulge of a well-muscled, entirely feminine thigh, definition barely concealed by a skintight, gleaming suit of electric blue. A shimmering gold band encircled the thigh, and danced as its owner flexed a little. A tiny waist. A series of abdominals that looked like cobblestones hidden beneath the shiny suit, yet feminine and somehow not overly muscular. Powerful shoulders; strong, defined arms with hands encased in shimmering gold. A strong, strangely elegant neck. Finally, Billy's vision fell upon the face of the most stunning woman he had ever seen. Her blue eyes were so bright they eclipsed the neon decor of the bar. Her lips were barely parted, one side turned up in an amused expression; half-grin, half-sneer. Her skin was flawless; regal cheekbones; thin, carefully manicured eyebrows and thick black eyelashes.

But it was her bust that got Billy's attention most of all.

It was incredible. Dynamic. Sensational. Indescribable. A bosom that could launch a thousand ships...and sink them, too. The majority of their surface area was exposed: A large oval-shaped cutout showed off the flawless nature of her assets. Big, yes, large, yes, very large even -- but perfectly shaped, full, firm, and high on the steely plate of her superhuman chest. They met in the center, in a firm, delightful cleavage that just baaaaaarely touched in the middle. Of course, Billy knew who she was. Everyone knew.

She was Ultima. She was perfection.

"Hello, there," she said with a wry grin. "Aren't you just the little cutie."

Billy's mouth moved, up, down, closed. No sound.

"Talkative, too."


"Ohhhh, and smart," Ultima said with a wicked grin and a narrowing of her electric eyes.

Billy was completely flummoxed. He locked up. His heart raced. His ears rang.

"So, you're lucky I like you, big boy," Ultima said softly, somehow still audible over the music. "Since I like you, I'll give you just one wish. What would you like to see?"

"He wants to see your party trick, Ms. Ultima!" Stan shouted behind Billy.

Billy stood frozen.

"Oh, that old thing?" Ultima said, and batted her eyes. "Oh, I don't know..."

The long line of men began chanting her name, over and over. Finally she relented with a grand sweep of her muscular, perfect arm. "Oh, all right. Bartender?"

A huge man behind the bar took Billy's hand, and placed a walnut in it.


"Billy!" Julian shouted.

"...Billy. Now, what I want you to do, Billy, is hold out your nut. Come on now. It's easy. There you go. A little higher....higher....that's it," Ultima sighed, and thrust out her magnificent chest even more. She placed her hands upon her bosoms, spread-fingered, and gently pulled them apart the slightest amount. She leaned forward, to where Billy's thumb and forefinger -- and the nut they held -- were barely visible.

"All right, here we go, big boy. Gentlemen?"

The music stopped. In the sudden quiet, the crowd behind Billy counted down from "5...4....3...2....1!" in unison.

Slowly, Ultima pushed against her prodigious bosoms, first touching the walnut, then trapping it -- and Billy's fingertips -- in her perfect cleavage. Then she pushed in just a little harder....harder....Billy's eyes widened when he heard the first CRACKLE, then another, then he felt the walnut give in to her inescapable squeezing. She stopped just as his fingertips sang a warning of pain.         

Ultima leaned back, pulling her bosoms apart slightly, smiling to herself as bits of shattered walnut dropped to the floor. The crowd roared its approval. Ultima noticed the still-mute Billy's her appearance, and she smiled wickedly. She leaned in close enough for him to smell her flowery scent. Her lips moved on his ear as she spoke.

"That's not really my party trick. I could still crush a walnut, or anything else....but I don't use my boobs."

Billy swallowed with an audible click.

She smiled.

"Would you like a...private...demonstration?"

Billy Weaver fainted. He wouldn't wake up for two days.

The huge bartender motioned for Billy's friends to take him away. He shook his head, laughed, and turned back to his guest whose appearance in his bar was worth her weight in gold.

"Ultima," he said, "You sure are a mean drunk."

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