Ancension

Taliesan,
I absolutely loved this story. The really enjoy the way you lay out your sentences, adding flare, but not letting it ever get confusing or too much.

"My story is one of the rare ones, though. Because I can honestly say,
it started at the very beginning. When the world discovered that
Goddesses do walk among us...." - I was hooked from thsi line. Very well said.

The rest of the story is very well-written and honest, seeming to really focus on the characters more than anything. You seem to really enjoy writing for Ryan and Andrea, delving into their backgrounds and interests quite extensively, but never too much. The fight scene between Ryan and Blake could have been a very typical-teenage-supergirl-saves-the-day moment, but it never got to that. Ryan is still a competent guy and the story would have progressed just as well had he gotten his ass beaten and then found by her. And the dialogue is straight from a common high school... I actually believe the characters when they talk and act like this.
Again, fantastic writing.

I could keep going, but I'll let others do some praising and wait anxiously for the second installment.

Thanks for bringing me out of hiding.
~A

I sent a love letter to Taliesan too :oops: .

Agreed -- a well-written story with appealing characters. I look forward to seeing how their relationship develops from here. And you've put their story into a context (the emergence / revelation of "goddesses") that could provide fodder for many other stories as well.

Just one thing -- PLEASE break your future stories into paragraphs.

Thanks for the input, folks

I thought I did separate the story and gave extra spaces to scene changes. Something must have gotten lost. I'll try something diferent in the future instalments but yeah, it does look pretty crowded, layout-wise.

Great Job! I have finally kicked my habit and I have stopped checking the Extreme Strength website five times a day for the next installment of "The Project" which I don't think is ever going to come. Now I can do what most other "Addicts" do, replace one addiction with another! Can't
wait for your next chapter!

Well, I just put the finishing touches on part 2 and with a free day tomorrow, I may even get through part 3 in time for both to be on the next SWM update.

Thanks for all the kind words and inspiration

I recently added a YIM account, taliesan_ascension

Feel free to send me a ping if I'm online

I really like the story too. Thanks for putting it up.

Two things I like about it:

1) Quick pacing. Things don't get too bogged down with pretentious author's syndrome. The stuff's well described but in clear, simple language. It moves quickly from scene to scene. In a lot of stories, you feel like the author is trying too hard to be clever. Not here.

2) Subject matter. I like 'bad girl' stories. I like stories of already known characters (Supergirl, Powergirl, Mary Marvel, et al). I like pretty much any kind of story with a super powered girl in it. But it's the teenaged-girl-discovers-her-powers storyline that's my all time fave. Spot on.

Please keep up the great work!

part 4: GREAT follow up to the first three so far. You gave us just enough to stay captivated without saturating everything with super detail. Just the facts, but enough description without making it overboard!

I'm really enjoying how you keep it from Ryan's perspective - I think it makes the story fresh and from a p.o.v. that we all appreciate. And I don't know about anyone else, but Ryan's dad IS my dad when I was in high school. VERY well written scene. "I don't think there'd be jury in the world that would convict me of patricide." - GREAT line.

I could keep going, but I'd rather see what others have to say. I'm really enjoying things so far and look forward to seeing where you take it.
=angels=