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News-watch

23 May 2005 13:28 #1282 by conceptfan
News-watch was created by conceptfan
A new forum for genuine media stories covering possible underground ubergirl activity...

Can anyone more local (i.e. in Massachusettes) confirm if there's any truth in this story?

Court clears woman of breaking boyfriend's tool

A court has ruled that a woman is not liable for damages after breaking her boyfriend's penis during sex.

The Massachusetts state appeals court heard that the unnamed defendant was having consensual sex with her boyfriend in September 1994 when she suddenly changed position, causing him to fracture his penis. Ouch. He underwent immediate surgery, but despite a lengthy and painful convalescence is still suffering from sexual dysfunction more than ten years after the event. Neither medication nor counselling have managed to help the unfortunate man, who decided to sue his (presumably former) girlfriend for damages.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, the judges unanimously ruled that changing position during consensual sex could not be grounds for a negligence action. Although the man had been exposed to "some risk of harm", there was no evidence that the woman's actions had been reckless.

Justice Joseph Trainor held that there was no generally held consensus as to how couples should behave when making the beast with two backs, and as such he could not be expected to resolve this claim.

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23 May 2005 22:02 #1290 by argonaut
Replied by argonaut on topic Re: News-watch


Can anyone more local (i.e. in Massachusettes) confirm if there's any truth in this story?


That would be me, I guess. I'll see what I can find out.

It reminds me of a story:

There's a hospital in Boston that used to be called the Peter Bent Brigham Memorial Hospital. Locals generally referred to it as the Peter Bent. (It's now the Brigham and Women's Hospital.)

A Boston cabbie was cruising the red-light district late one night. Just as he was driving past a brothel, the front door flew open and a patron came rushing out. He had thrown a blanket over his shoulders and was clutching his groin, evidently in considerable distress.

The man jumped into the cab and gasped, "Take me to the nearest hospital quick!"

"The Peter Bent?" asked the cabbie.

"Bent, hell! She damn near broke it off!"

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11 Jan 2006 10:10 #4097 by conceptfan
Replied by conceptfan on topic Re: News-watch
OK, this one requires a little imagination, but..

Here's the story as reported in the "Sun" newspaper:

ENGLAND soccer star Joe Cole fled in terror after being battered in a drunken brawl over busty Page 3 girl Keeley Hazell.

Chelsea’s Cole, 24, was set on by a love rival as he chatted up Keeley at a party.

He ran bleeding, bare-chested and shoeless to a South London cab office. A witness said: “He was covered in blood and bruises. It was a right beating.”

Cole was so badly beaten he was almost unrecognisable.

The £60,000-a-week Chelsea midfielder climbed out of a WINDOW at 5.30am to escape his rival for 34DD beauty Keeley, 19.

Cole turned up at a nearby minicab office covered in CUTS and BRUISES and dripping BLOOD.

His SHIRT had been ripped off in the struggle and he had lost his SHOES. He also had no MONEY or PHONE.

A worker at Far and Near Minicabs in Grove Park, South East London, said: “Joe was in a right state. No one recognised him at first. He looked more like a yobbo than a millionaire soccer star.

“He’d got bloody marks on his face and body. He had obviously been in a fight and come off worst. He was only wearing jeans and no drivers would take him.



[sarcasm]Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy...[/sarcasm]

Anyway, the paper says that the damage was done by a "love rival" but we know it was Keeley what done it, don't we. Here she is, btw, if you've not had the pleasure.

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24 Apr 2006 17:00 #5334 by conceptfan
Replied by conceptfan on topic What we always suspected.
I've always thought this was true, but now we know.

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So, purely to help you all live longer (just call me Dr. Cf):

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