Next Part of Michelle's Meteor Memento now on!

Jabbrwock wrote:

njae wrote: And now it's up. Feel free to tell me what you think about it.

I think it's great. I'm really curious about what Fred's secret is. Not to mention looking forward to potentially finding another source of the potion for James. Please keep on writing!

Good thing you're still curious, I wasn't sure if it would be better to let Amanda find out in this installment or later, but I think later works a bit better.

I'm a bit surprised that someone wants to find a second power source for a male character on this board, but I'll just go with stay tuned.

njae wrote:

Jabbrwock wrote:

njae wrote: And now it's up. Feel free to tell me what you think about it.

I think it's great. I'm really curious about what Fred's secret is. Not to mention looking forward to potentially finding another source of the potion for James. Please keep on writing!

Good thing you're still curious, I wasn't sure if it would be better to let Amanda find out in this installment or later, but I think later works a bit better.

I'm a bit surprised that someone wants to find a second power source for a male character on this board, but I'll just go with stay tuned.

It may be outside the scope of the story, but eventually I expect Michelle is going to want kids. Even if the power source gets used once and only once, James kinds of needs to be transformed for that to happen. Besides, Michelle isn't the sort to need to be inconceivably superior to her boyfriend to keep on feeling super.

Some folks are big into the dominance issues and think a superwoman is diminished by the presence of supermen unless they are somehow emasculated or limited. To me, that feels demeaning - like they can't *REALLY* be super unless everybody around them is kept wimpy.

Besides, Michelle seems to be mostly het. She's not going to have the super lover she deserves unless she either starts exploring other aspects of her sexuality, or a man gets upgraded. Even exploring other aspects of her sexuality, she'll probably still want another power source, because even with the possibility of inbreeding removed, sex with your sister is still icky.

Full disclosure: I read an earlier draft of this chapter.

I think this was a great addition to the series. We are starting to get the answers to some of the questions raised, while new mysteries spin up.

I am intrigued to know what's up with Fred.

Good stuff.

Jabbrwock wrote: It may be outside the scope of the story, but eventually I expect Michelle is going to want kids. Even if the power source gets used once and only once, James kinds of needs to be transformed for that to happen. Besides, Michelle isn't the sort to need to be inconceivably superior to her boyfriend to keep on feeling super.

It's pretty clear that Michelle wants James to be super too, both personally and as part of her instincts that want to ensure reproduction as well.

Jabbrwock wrote: Besides, Michelle seems to be mostly het. She's not going to have the super lover she deserves unless she either starts exploring other aspects of her sexuality, or a man gets upgraded. Even exploring other aspects of her sexuality, she'll probably still want another power source, because even with the possibility of inbreeding removed, sex with your sister is still icky.

Yeah that pretty much sums up the girl's dilemma for now, good thing that Michelle now knows about the existence of other supers and will go search for them. Speaking of other aspects of her sexuality, there might be more options for her due to her mutation.

Anon wrote: While, it seem that Michellle's powers already took care of some issues with the "having sex with a supergirl" part. I think that finding a second power source for James might have some interesting consequences on the story. So far the power have somehow revealed something about each character through their transformation. I think that seeing James going through the process might be interesting.

To bad James doesn't really want to go through the process himself so soon. He's a lot like Amanda in that regard, but unlike her he'll stick to it - mostly because he knows much more about the consequences of drinking the potion than Amanda did when she drank it.

Anon wrote:

njae wrote:

Anon wrote: While, it seem that Michellle's powers already took care of some issues with the "having sex with a supergirl" part. I think that finding a second power source for James might have some interesting consequences on the story. So far the power have somehow revealed something about each character through their transformation. I think that seeing James going through the process might be interesting.

To bad James doesn't really want to go through the process himself so soon. He's a lot like Amanda in that regard, but unlike her he'll stick to it - mostly because he knows much more about the consequences of drinking the potion than Amanda did when she drank it.

This is what makes the entire thing interesting. Many times the characters are oblivious of the consequences. James knows - or at least can understand - what will happen, and this is what makes his experience totally different.

You may be right. And while I haven't planned for James to become super in the near future, I'll definitely give it a thought. I've got an idea for a future storyline where that might fit in quite well.

This was another good chapter with revelations and more intrigue. Fred's secret is very interesting (I wonder if perhaps he has Harland Syndrome, though without any information on the condition aside from it's incurable I don't have the slightest idea whether that's even possible. His previous girlfriend who couldn't cope makes me suspect it might be though, since I could understand her not being able to cope with a boyfriend who has a terminal illness and that finding out that someone he loved couldn't cope might have left Fred emotionally scarred. He does seem to have his suspicions about Amanda, suspicions which he seems determined to prevent anyone else developing.

I do have one reservation, not about the story but about Michelle's revealing to James that Amanda had taken the potion. Michelle knows she can trust him, but was it really her place to reveal Amanda's secret without her permission? If I were Amanda I might be a bit annoyed at Michelle for that, though not permanently so.

The next part should be interesting, perhaps with Michelle meeting the mysterious and dangerous superwoman who doesn't care that she hurts people. I look forward to it.

Any chance we'll see a chapter 9?

Tony0987 wrote: Any chance we'll see a chapter 9?

Of course. It's in beta reading phase right now and I've already begun working on part 10 a bit - but mostly I try to focus on the workshop right now. I'll post part 9 asap, though.

And here it is , I actually had a photomanip ready for this made by Pansardum, but somehow I can't get it uploaded, so it'll have to wait. Problem solved, enjoy the pic.

Anyway comments and feedback are welcome as always.

njae wrote: And here it is , I actually had a photomanip ready for this made by Pansardum, but somehow I can't get it uploaded, so it'll have to wait. Problem solved, enjoy the pic.

Anyway comments and feedback are welcome as always.

Great story. I wonder if Michelle will dream about her most recent caper, it seems the sort of thing that would interest her dream alter ego. Might be very informative.

Part 10 is already 4000 words in, but the next workshop will take priority over that. But yes, she does have an interesting chat with her other self upon other things.

I liked part 9, but I feel that I got more questions than answers. Especially with Amanda and Fred. But maybe I think too much.
I mean if Fred all along knew it was Amanda, is that the reason they got back together? for fear of what she could do?
Did he resist Amandas alter-ego since he wanted to show her that he was faitful or afraid that someone as strong as her had killed someone during sex? He was after all under the phermones both times at the hospital...
I don't know, maybe it was just to me but Amanda gave off a little crazy-stalker ex vibe here.

At the end I think it was a bit lazy/boring that she just happened to touch it down in an airport. I think it would have been better if she had to struggle a bit to get the plane there or have no other choise than to take it down on a highway in/around the city. Causing some destruction to streetlights and some cars sliding to a stop as they meet a big plane.
Having Michelle crash/collapse and recouperate for a second or two could also have been an idea.
But that is just what I had wanted to see. Good read nonetheless.

Last thing. Even though I got my questions above, you don't have any story arc in this chapter that makes me hunger for next installment. Maybe a small section about the murderer, would make the story move forward. Now it is just two 'small' things that keeps it from being a filler. Fred's confession and Michelles insight.

I continue to love this story. I was a little surprised that Fred already knew about Amanda and had done for a long time once he let himself realise it, but looking back it's brilliant. I hadn't realised any more than Amanda that she'd left such an obvious clue to who she was. And I like the way Michelle puzzled out how to land a stricken plane. Obviously she's a public heroine now (called Angel by the media perhaps, because of her "wings"?). I wonder how she will deal with her colleagues coverage of her alter-ego. I suspect that a bit of part 10 will be devoted to public and media reactions. Probably also to detective Spencer's reaction to meeting her.

Bring on part 10.

I liked part 9, but I feel that I got more questions than answers. Especially with Amanda and Fred. But maybe I think too much.
I mean if Fred all along knew it was Amanda, is that the reason they got back together? for fear of what she could do?
Did he resist Amandas alter-ego since he wanted to show her that he was faitful or afraid that someone as strong as her had killed someone during sex? He was after all under the phermones both times at the hospital...
I don't know, maybe it was just to me but Amanda gave off a little crazy-stalker ex vibe here.

Fred only noticed "Devil's" identity after their first conversation in the hospital, so his confession that he still loved her during that conversation is indeed true. Don't forget that Amanda has a good idea about whether or not he's lying. Her "crazy stalker ex" vibe might just be her patience about what Fred is hiding from her running out combined with the increased libido of her super form. Fred knew about her ability to share her powers, by the way, so he has no real reason of being scared of that.

At the end I think it was a bit lazy/boring that she just happened to touch it down in an airport. I think it would have been better if she had to struggle a bit to get the plane there or have no other choise than to take it down on a highway in/around the city. Causing some destruction to streetlights and some cars sliding to a stop as they meet a big plane.
Having Michelle crash/collapse and recouperate for a second or two could also have been an idea.
But that is just what I had wanted to see. Good read nonetheless.

Michelle overused her powers there and if she had collapsed there, her transformation would've reversed itself right there and now. She managed to get back home with the last bit of energy she had left, though. The beginning of part 10 will have her deal with the aftermath of this overexertion in her unique way.

Maybe a small section about the murderer, would make the story move forward.

There hasn't been an actual murder in the story so far. The man who was on the receiving end of a super-rape is still alive, just unconscious right now.

Obviously she's a public heroine now (called Angel by the media perhaps, because of her "wings"?)

Not to mention the not so suptle fact that Amanda already called dips on "Devil". Michelle herself will consider that name a bit of an exaggeration, of course.

I wonder how she will deal with her colleagues coverage of her alter-ego. I suspect that a bit of part 10 will be devoted to public and media reactions.

Indeed, the fact that she'll be public knowledge by the following day will of course be an important part.


Thanks for the feedback you two, and of course a special thanks to Pans for the image of the plane scene.

njae wrote: Fred only noticed "Devil's" identity after their first conversation in the hospital, so his confession that he still loved her during that conversation is indeed true. Don't forget that Amanda has a good idea about whether or not he's lying. Her "crazy stalker ex" vibe might just be her patience about what Fred is hiding from her running out combined with the increased libido of her super form. Fred knew about her ability to share her powers, by the way, so he has no real reason of being scared of that.

Ok,thanks for clearing that up.

That vibe I got might come from Amanda seemingly fast to forgive and the fact that she searched him up after getting the powers. I think it is clear that she loves him more, taking into account that he cheated on her. An act you haven't written that much about. (If I remember correctly)

The beginning of part 10 will have her deal with the aftermath of this overexertion in her unique way.

This sounds interesting!

There hasn't been an actual murder in the story so far. The man who was on the receiving end of a super-rape is still alive, just unconscious right now.

Can confess it was a while since I read the earlier chapters, causing that detail to be forgotten.

pansardum wrote: Ok,thanks for clearing that up.

That vibe I got might come from Amanda seemingly fast to forgive and the fact that she searched him up after getting the powers. I think it is clear that she loves him more, taking into account that he cheated on her. An act you haven't written that much about. (If I remember correctly)

Fred gave some details about his cheating on Amanda in earlier installments. He confessed that he was using the other woman and in his conversation with Erika he also mentioned her name. I don't know whether or not I will get to it in part 10, but the plot behind that will be explained.

about time!

aki_zz wrote: about time!

You make it sound like I was behind schedule or something. But honestly, I had this part finished shortly before the workshop deadline (had to finish my entry first, after all), which wouldn't have been good time to post it. Anyway, the next installment probably won't clash with a workshop.

sorry, didn't mean it that way.

no problem

How is the next part coming along? Definitely miss it! Wondering if Fred is going to be talked into trying to liquid?

Tony0987 wrote: How is the next part coming along? Definitely miss it! Wondering if Fred is going to be talked into trying to liquid?

I have to admit that I haven't written a single word on the next part for a few months now. One of the reasons was the workshop obviously. But even after that was over (at least the writing part) I haven't found the motivation to write a single word. I still have hope that I'll get out of my motivational low soon, knowing that someone actually cares about the story helps a lot. Thanks.