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U-Girl: Free Story!
03 Jun 2015 16:23 #42560
by brantley
U-Girl: Free Story! was created by brantley
www.brightempire.com/U-Girl.htm
This is a story I started close to a decade ago, as an alternative to Aurora Universe fiction. But I never got very far with it, and I've lost interest in it by now. If anybody else wants to pick it up and continue with it, they're welcome.
--Brantley
This is a story I started close to a decade ago, as an alternative to Aurora Universe fiction. But I never got very far with it, and I've lost interest in it by now. If anybody else wants to pick it up and continue with it, they're welcome.
--Brantley
The following user(s) said Thank You: Sarge395
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04 Jun 2015 15:16 #42583
by brantley
Replied by brantley on topic U-Girl: Free Story!
I see 81 people had clicked on the story link as of last midnight. Apparently no sign of any interest in continuing it, though.
--Brantley
--Brantley
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04 Jun 2015 15:39 #42586
by Woodclaw
At the moment I've trouble with my own writing, so I'm out. Although I might try just to see how far I can go.
Replied by Woodclaw on topic U-Girl: Free Story!
brantley wrote: I see 81 people had clicked on the story link as of last midnight. Apparently no sign of any interest in continuing it, though.
--Brantley
At the moment I've trouble with my own writing, so I'm out. Although I might try just to see how far I can go.
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04 Jun 2015 15:39 #42587
by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic U-Girl: Free Story!
Still digesting.
I suspect the scale/scope of her powers is a bit over the level that leads to conflicts I find interesting. A hint of an Achilles Heel even early on would probably pique my curiosity.
I suspect the scale/scope of her powers is a bit over the level that leads to conflicts I find interesting. A hint of an Achilles Heel even early on would probably pique my curiosity.
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04 Jun 2015 16:39 #42591
by brantley
Replied by brantley on topic U-Girl: Free Story!
Well, you can always rewrite what I wrote.
--Brantley
--Brantley
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04 Jun 2015 16:59 #42592
by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic U-Girl: Free Story!
Heehee. While Taylor looks at me with a sad little disappointed frown every day I don't work on her second chapter... Zoe would flat out kill me if I take on any more Ubergirl writing projects before she gets another chapter 
.
Don't get me wrong - the opening is hot (in multiple ways
), and your protagonist is pleasantly 'with it', I'm just a little vague on where things go after you shrug off a nuke at point blank range.
.Don't get me wrong - the opening is hot (in multiple ways
), and your protagonist is pleasantly 'with it', I'm just a little vague on where things go after you shrug off a nuke at point blank range. Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.
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04 Jun 2015 17:20 #42594
by ace191
Replied by ace191 on topic U-Girl: Free Story!
I read the story and I was very intrigued by the plot line and the political themes. I gave continuing it careful thought but a few problems arose. I have been thinking about a couple of other stories that I would like to write but have been too lazy to start them The other drawback is that you are a very good wordsmith and a tough act to follow. I suspect I am not the only writer here who would have more than just a little trepidation picking up one of your stories. It's one thing to write a flop yourself, quite another to mess up someone else's work.
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04 Jun 2015 21:06 #42600
by brantley
Replied by brantley on topic U-Girl: Free Story!
I don't mind you giving it a try. Maybe you could do first drafts and I could be your beta reader. In any case, you can't get better as a writer without trying...
But it would be nice to at least get some feedback from you and other regulars here about my current projects, including PASSION PLAY and EMPRESS OF THE DAWN III, at the Bright Empire thread of SWM or at the Aurora Universe Readers Group. I recently finished SHORE LEAVE, a series begun by Shadar that had been stalled for ten years -- which was a problem for me because PASSION PLAY had to tie in with it.
--Brantley
But it would be nice to at least get some feedback from you and other regulars here about my current projects, including PASSION PLAY and EMPRESS OF THE DAWN III, at the Bright Empire thread of SWM or at the Aurora Universe Readers Group. I recently finished SHORE LEAVE, a series begun by Shadar that had been stalled for ten years -- which was a problem for me because PASSION PLAY had to tie in with it.
--Brantley
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05 Jun 2015 00:53 #42603
by Woodclaw
BrantleyI have to be honest: your work scare me, in a good way, but still scare. In general, the sheer scope of it is bigger than most of what I'm used to work and read, often I miss the links and find myself lost in the middle of the story. I admit this is the beauty of your narrative, but it's also its limit. It's like starting to read "The Lord of the Rings" at page 200, one might be able to follow the story, but much of it would be hard to understand.
Replied by Woodclaw on topic U-Girl: Free Story!
brantley wrote: I don't mind you giving it a try. Maybe you could do first drafts and I could be your beta reader. In any case, you can't get better as a writer without trying...
But it would be nice to at least get some feedback from you and other regulars here about my current projects, including PASSION PLAY and EMPRESS OF THE DAWN III, at the Bright Empire thread of SWM or at the Aurora Universe Readers Group. I recently finished SHORE LEAVE, a series begun by Shadar that had been stalled for ten years -- which was a problem for me because PASSION PLAY had to tie in with it.
--Brantley
BrantleyI have to be honest: your work scare me, in a good way, but still scare. In general, the sheer scope of it is bigger than most of what I'm used to work and read, often I miss the links and find myself lost in the middle of the story. I admit this is the beauty of your narrative, but it's also its limit. It's like starting to read "The Lord of the Rings" at page 200, one might be able to follow the story, but much of it would be hard to understand.
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05 Jun 2015 01:16 #42605
by castor
Replied by castor on topic U-Girl: Free Story!
To extend Woodrows Metaphor.
when i was about 6th grade i started reading Return of the King....and i got maybe 50 pages in...and stoped. Huh. The story is incredibly dense and wordy with ideas and details that where hard to ever comprehend.
Then latter that year i read the Hobbit. Loved it. Loved it a lot. one of my favorite books ever, and remains that way.
You write very dense Science Fiction, and i perodically try to get into it-i like the idea of it from what i have seen. But wheres the hobbit?
when i was about 6th grade i started reading Return of the King....and i got maybe 50 pages in...and stoped. Huh. The story is incredibly dense and wordy with ideas and details that where hard to ever comprehend.
Then latter that year i read the Hobbit. Loved it. Loved it a lot. one of my favorite books ever, and remains that way.
You write very dense Science Fiction, and i perodically try to get into it-i like the idea of it from what i have seen. But wheres the hobbit?
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06 Jun 2015 13:51 #42649
by Sarge395
Replied by Sarge395 on topic U-Girl: Free Story!
Well I am all for flying superstrong and gorgeous uber women. I'm all for reading about their activities and backstory. Now if you would just salt and pepper in some more action I'd be very happy to read more. Especially if it involves dismantling a dictatorship.
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