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LaPorte Caves

25 Apr 2017 14:44 #53792 by Sam+Norton
Replied by Sam+Norton on topic LaPorte Caves
Ch 23 is good as always :-D
It's nice to see that Howard and Julia still have a connection (Julia still thinks of him as a great man, and Howard tries, risking his life, to wake her up during her nightmare). Let's hope their relationship return more stable, even with Julia creating her harem.
I'm curious about two things: What did the women want for Bendjimon in the complex? And also, the mysterious infection of the Diana trees.
Can't wait for next chapters.

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25 Apr 2017 17:33 #53794 by twitch99
Replied by twitch99 on topic LaPorte Caves
I've been reluctant to comment as I have taken Circes up on reading his draft chapters, so I was 2-3 chapters ahead of the posts here until Chapter 23 was posted.

As always, really enjoying this well spun tale!!

It still seems like Julia takes one step forward and two steps backwards every time she tries to help or interact with Howard. Her work for Ruth on the software project gave her money, a feeling of power and leadership that she did not previously have, and of course lots of men to screw!! She could relate to them because of her background, but she still cannot figure out how to deal with Howard. I do think a important realization for her occurred during her talk with Jofri:

"He pressed his fingers into of her abdomen, receiving no more give than he did on her arm. It was like playing with a rock wall. He felt his insides becoming the opposite, a gelatinous mass of aching need. “You said you used to be like us, stupid and weak, miss?”

“Julia,” she corrected. “And you’re not stupid and weak. You only seem that way when you are placed side-by-side with a Nourished. But in reality, you’re normal and normal. And yes, I used to be that way too.”"


Realizing that the men in the Weald and Howard are not weak, stupid or pathetic, but actually normal and that the Nourished are the abnormal humans is huge change in point of view.

But after this, she still screws things up by burning Howard's hand with the paperweight and his last statement in Chapter 22 is not encouraging.

It will be interesting to see how long Julia hides her claiming of Bendjimon from Howard, and when he does find out how it goes down. He knows she is sleeping with other men, as that is what the Nourished do. But to claim Bendjimon, the one she told Howard was a better lover and had a bigger cock than Howard just before the crow bar/swamp episode may be a little much for Howard to stomach.

Looking forward to more chapters when they come.

Thanks again Circes for this wonderful tale.
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25 Apr 2017 22:44 #53795 by Pepper
Replied by Pepper on topic LaPorte Caves

twitch99 wrote: I do think a important realization for her occurred during her talk with Jofri:

"He pressed his fingers into of her abdomen, receiving no more give than he did on her arm. It was like playing with a rock wall. He felt his insides becoming the opposite, a gelatinous mass of aching need. “You said you used to be like us, stupid and weak, miss?”

“Julia,” she corrected. “And you’re not stupid and weak. You only seem that way when you are placed side-by-side with a Nourished. But in reality, you’re normal and normal. And yes, I used to be that way too.”"


Realizing that the men in the Weald and Howard are not weak, stupid or pathetic, but actually normal and that the Nourished are the abnormal humans is huge change in point of view.

Yeah, but she then tells Bendjimon that the things that are important about him are his heart and his cock. Her respect for men ain't exactly off the chart.

It will be interesting to see how long Julia hides her claiming of Bendjimon from Howard, and when he does find out how it goes down. He knows she is sleeping with other men, as that is what the Nourished do. But to claim Bendjimon, the one she told Howard was a better lover and had a bigger cock than Howard just before the crow bar/swamp episode may be a little much for Howard to stomach.

There's that, but I wonder if she'll tell him the circumstances that led to her claiming Bendjimon. He was about to be tortured and killed by a dozen women. Julia was on the verge of walking away, and would have if it hadn't been someone she knew. She's been portraying this to Howard as just a different culture ("we're in their world, we should adopt their ways"); does she now tell him that this is a place that condones brutality? It's one thing for Howard to struggle, and against great obstacles, to maintain his relationship with Julia, but I wouldn't blame him a bit if he started to ask himself why. At some point, will she become someone that he doesn't love and sees no reason to be with?

Looking forward to more chapters when they come.

Thanks again Circes for this wonderful tale.

Agreed.
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26 Apr 2017 08:12 #53798 by circes_cup
Replied by circes_cup on topic LaPorte Caves
Thanks for all the great discussion and thinking, guys. As usual, it's hard for me to respond without revealing what I want to do next.

To the degree that readers are confused about what's really going on in Julia's head, I can say two things. First, people are mixed bags -- we all have great moments and less-than-great moments, and I am comfortable presenting people as mixtures of kindness and cruelty, discipline and impulsiveness, etc.

However, some of the confusion I have to own as well, as I may have been inconsistent or imprecise in my renderings of the characters from chapter to chapter. I'm still learning my way through this writing thing, and it's particularly challenging to be writing this story in little snippets rather than dedicate a whole day to it as professional writers do. So, if you find yourself wondering why Julia did X in one chapter and Y in the next, perhaps you missed something in the text, or perhaps it was me. When this is all over, I may take some time to comb back through it all and see whether certain parts need to be cleaned up.

Final note: I am traveling through Fri May 5 and will have access only to an old clunky ipad. It performs poorly on these forum posts, on DA and now even on Google Drive. So, if I fail to participate over the next two weeks, you know why. Also, my lack of good browsing capabilities over the next two weeks is the reason I posted Ch 23 early.
.
Happy reading!
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21 May 2017 16:28 #54198 by circes_cup
Replied by circes_cup on topic LaPorte Caves
The ski trail from here....

Just posted Ch. 24. 

I've decided to write the remainder of the story (ie, all the way to the end) before posting any more chapters.  It may be a while, therefore, before you see Ch 25.

If you want to see the draft material as it's coming together, send me a note using the PM/note function on this platform and we can discuss.  Otherwise, I'll let you know when the remainder of the story is ready for prime time.

Peace,
Circes
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22 May 2017 13:01 #54220 by Torque
Replied by Torque on topic LaPorte Caves
I like the way the new chapter started. It showed Howard still had his spine after everything. One criticism though is the lack of conflict resolution in the previous chapters. Julia inadvertently burns Howard, he tells her that he's better off not being around her; and then the next time they see each other after a few days, during which Julia literally ran into the arms of the same man that she did the first time they fought here and getting plenty of action, while Howard continues to work at learning a new language, they act as if nothing happened. I would think there would be some kind of awkwardness at the very least. Instead, she suggests to go on a ski trip and Howard is like sure!

And then the way the newest chapter ended.... I dunno. Like I already said, it started out with Howard still having his balls. Now after another convenient boob dose, he's done a 180 and loves the new her. I honestly wouldn't put it past Julia to have dosed him again, although maybe it raises the question of what if it was unintentional. That, like the nourishment, the boob milk is designed to get men to become more subservient and accepting of the women.

At least Howard was able to get in his dig at the brats on the ski lift about the conditions of the Diana trees.

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22 May 2017 17:01 #54228 by circes_cup
Replied by circes_cup on topic LaPorte Caves

Torque wrote: I like the way the new chapter started. It showed Howard still had his spine after everything. One criticism though is the lack of conflict resolution in the previous chapters. Julia inadvertently burns Howard, he tells her that he's better off not being around her; and then the next time they see each other after a few days, during which Julia literally ran into the arms of the same man that she did the first time they fought here and getting plenty of action, while Howard continues to work at learning a new language, they act as if nothing happened. I would think there would be some kind of awkwardness at the very least. Instead, she suggests to go on a ski trip and Howard is like sure!

And then the way the newest chapter ended.... I dunno. Like I already said, it started out with Howard still having his balls. Now after another convenient boob dose, he's done a 180 and loves the new her. I honestly wouldn't put it past Julia to have dosed him again, although maybe it raises the question of what if it was unintentional. That, like the nourishment, the boob milk is designed to get men to become more subservient and accepting of the women.

At least Howard was able to get in his dig at the brats on the ski lift about the conditions of the Diana trees.


Bummer, looks like this chapter may have sown some confusion.

I hadn't intended it to be inconsistent with other chapters. In my experience, many couples never fully resolve their conflicts but instead find ways to take a break from them. They to create some ebb and flow to the relationship that allows them to re-engage life's issues with new energy. I'll have to take another look at it.

Also, a number of people are understandably confused about whether Howard's rekindled interest in Julia is milk-induced, genuine, or both. I had expected that it would come across as genuine, but the groundwork for the other interpretation is in place -- and I should concider the merits of going that direction. I'll have to take another look at that too.

Thanks for the feedback!
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22 May 2017 17:22 #54229 by smoki07
Replied by smoki07 on topic LaPorte Caves
I wonder what gonna Howard's reaction about the other (claimed) guy !!!!! Good chapter!

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22 May 2017 18:36 #54231 by Woodclaw
Replied by Woodclaw on topic LaPorte Caves

circes_cup wrote:

Torque wrote: I like the way the new chapter started. It showed Howard still had his spine after everything. One criticism though is the lack of conflict resolution in the previous chapters. Julia inadvertently burns Howard, he tells her that he's better off not being around her; and then the next time they see each other after a few days, during which Julia literally ran into the arms of the same man that she did the first time they fought here and getting plenty of action, while Howard continues to work at learning a new language, they act as if nothing happened. I would think there would be some kind of awkwardness at the very least. Instead, she suggests to go on a ski trip and Howard is like sure!

And then the way the newest chapter ended.... I dunno. Like I already said, it started out with Howard still having his balls. Now after another convenient boob dose, he's done a 180 and loves the new her. I honestly wouldn't put it past Julia to have dosed him again, although maybe it raises the question of what if it was unintentional. That, like the nourishment, the boob milk is designed to get men to become more subservient and accepting of the women.

At least Howard was able to get in his dig at the brats on the ski lift about the conditions of the Diana trees.


Bummer, looks like this chapter may have sown some confusion.

I hadn't intended it to be inconsistent with other chapters. In my experience, many couples never fully resolve their conflicts but instead find ways to take a break from them. They to create some ebb and flow to the relationship that allows them to re-engage life's issues with new energy. I'll have to take another look at it.

Also, a number of people are understandably confused about whether Howard's rekindled interest in Julia is milk-induced, genuine, or both. I had expected that it would come across as genuine, but the groundwork for the other interpretation is in place -- and I should concider the merits of going that direction. I'll have to take another look at that too.

Thanks for the feedback!


I had similar issues at first so I went back and re-read chapter 23 to see if I missed something. I think that the big problem is that we don't see how Howard worked his way around that particular point (although the nightmare scene might offer a little clue) during the two days of Julia's absence and so hgis behaviour between chapter 23 and 24 felt felt unnatural and forced. I agree that trying to move past this kind of issues is what creates a good and believable relationship, but not having a bit of insight on one half of the couple breaks the deal because it feels more like a magic trick.
I have to disagree with the second part of Torque's comment though. While I sympathize with Howard and his struggles, so far he has showed one very demeaning trait which is the inability to adapt to a new context. I know that some people consider this is a strength, but I think it's actually a weakness especially when combined with a very opinionated temperament like his. I absolutely understand his difficulties, but he often shows an almost suicidal need to showcase his perceived abilities and speak his mind in the worst moment. While this is understandable, this level of unflexibility is dangerous, especially considering that the Weald isn't just a world were the women are so radically different to be considered a different species althougher, but the entire world is rigged in their favour. For example, Howard keeps refusing the Claim is something that I consider absolutely fine and even a sign of character, but speaking his mind like he did with Salaan at the market isn't a display of courage or manliness, it's a very creative form of suicide.

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23 May 2017 00:09 #54238 by grungykitten
Replied by grungykitten on topic LaPorte Caves

Torque wrote: I like the way the new chapter started. It showed Howard still had his spine after everything. One criticism though is the lack of conflict resolution in the previous chapters. Julia inadvertently burns Howard, he tells her that he's better off not being around her; and then the next time they see each other after a few days, during which Julia literally ran into the arms of the same man that she did the first time they fought here and getting plenty of action, while Howard continues to work at learning a new language, they act as if nothing happened. I would think there would be some kind of awkwardness at the very least. Instead, she suggests to go on a ski trip and Howard is like sure!

And then the way the newest chapter ended.... I dunno. Like I already said, it started out with Howard still having his balls. Now after another convenient boob dose, he's done a 180 and loves the new her. I honestly wouldn't put it past Julia to have dosed him again, although maybe it raises the question of what if it was unintentional. That, like the nourishment, the boob milk is designed to get men to become more subservient and accepting of the women.

At least Howard was able to get in his dig at the brats on the ski lift about the conditions of the Diana trees.


Remember, Howard thus far has only interacted with Ruth, Mindy and their friends. They all know how much Julia cares for him, so they treat him as if he's been Claimed by her. So their warnings about the kinds of casual brutality women can inflict, and how little protection un-Claimed men have from them, rang rather hollow. When Howard and Julia got into an argument after Sallan brought him back, he was still thinking in terms of "freedom of speech" and "freedom of movement", and resolving to "hold his own" against the Nourished women.

His encounter with the girls on the ski-lift changed all that. It gave him first-hand experience of how brutal the women can be, and how powerless he is. Then he skis down a trail designed for women, falls and is pretty much resigned to die when Julia rescues him, heals him and professes her love for him. I'm not surprised that he reacted the way he did.

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23 May 2017 00:50 #54243 by Torque
Replied by Torque on topic LaPorte Caves
You're right circes, couples tend to avoid an argument when possible, but what was said seemed a bit more significant than getting over an argument about say, running late to a party because someone was taking too long to get ready.

I agree and disagree Woodclaw. When he spoke to Sallen, it's not like he was talking to another woman and bad mouthing her. He was directing his own opinion, which he should be completely entitled to, to another man that he thought would be sympathetic to the plight of men here, not realizing how brainwashed they truly are. Which is where I agree with you, he could learn a little discretion about when and who to voice his opinions to. In this same case, the one he should have been talking to about his concerns after learning some more history of the Weald, should have been Julia, as she is the only one that knows how things are on Earth, and secondly, he should trust enough to have that conversation with. Unfortunately, it seems Julia is not interested in his opinions, only interested in fitting into a culture that makes her feel wanted and needed, leading her to dose him. I still feel that his comment on why prisons are called correctional facilities was especially poignant, and there's honestly no way Julia can disagree with that.

The one thing about that scene grungykitten, is that it was a legitimate accident. He wasn't trying to prove himself like at the cliffs. He misread the sign and didn't have any other option once started. I can certainly see him being grateful and very happy to see Julia and for her saving his life, there's no question about that. It's his sudden sexual attraction that doesn't jive with the way he's thought this whole time. She saved him from the alligators too and he didn't respond this way. Granted, that time he was mad because of what she had done, but still.

And there's still the fact that it's not like Julia has been especially forthcoming about her time away from Howard. Getting eaten out at spas, claiming the guy she first cheated on him with, feeding her milk to dozens of men at the office.... I feel like she knows he's really not going to accept that, and honestly, he shouldn't. If he does, then I would really question why, since it would be in such opposition to everything he seems to be at his core since the story first started. There's accepting what you can't change and being ok with it, and then there's total lack of self respect and personal pride.

The women are treated like goddesses because that's what they've been for so long that they have forgotten they're still human. What would the men of the Weald think if they remembered these superior beings were just like them, and that having harems of men and no consequences for being violent to men was wrong?

I'm not trying to be overly critical, I just disagree with kowtowing when one side (Julia) knows they have an unfair advantage and firsthand knowledge of what it's like to be on the weaker side (Howard), and having seemingly no problem forgetting that to their own benefit.
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23 May 2017 03:35 #54244 by Pepper
Replied by Pepper on topic LaPorte Caves

circes_cup wrote: Just posted Ch. 24. 

I've decided to write the remainder of the story (ie, all the way to the end) before posting any more chapters.  It may be a while, therefore, before you see Ch 25.

I don't know if that's good news or bad. I hadn't realized we were that close to the end of the story.

Torque wrote: I like the way the new chapter started. It showed Howard still had his spine after everything. One criticism though is the lack of conflict resolution in the previous chapters. Julia inadvertently burns Howard, he tells her that he's better off not being around her; and then the next time they see each other after a few days, during which Julia literally ran into the arms of the same man that she did the first time they fought here and getting plenty of action, while Howard continues to work at learning a new language, they act as if nothing happened. I would think there would be some kind of awkwardness at the very least. Instead, she suggests to go on a ski trip and Howard is like sure!

That didn't bother me. We're obviously not seeing every minute of their lives. Julia was going to make another trip to Ruth's office before the ski trip, and that got totally skipped over. Plus, the story is switching back and forth between Julia's and Howard's POV. Once the anger wore off, I think Howard realized that Julia didn't burn him on purpose, but he'd also be justifiably worried about how often she hurts him by accident. I get the impression that they both have things they can't talk about with the other right now; and things like getting burned or claiming another man get filed away. They each need to come to grips with them separately before they can deal with them together.

circes_cup wrote: Also, a number of people are understandably confused about whether Howard's rekindled interest in Julia is milk-induced, genuine, or both. I had expected that it would come across as genuine, but the groundwork for the other interpretation is in place -- and I should concider the merits of going that direction. I'll have to take another look at that too.

I also assumed it was the result of the milk, or inadvertent pheromones, or something. Sexual attraction is pretty deeply rooted; I could see Howard becoming more impressed by Julia's capabilities, or happy that she's finding success and acceptance in this world, or grateful for saving his life, but none of those are really the same as being turned on.

Even if it's not from the milk, I think Howard's newfound attraction is still somewhat coerced. He's in a world where everything is alien and his life is in constant danger, and Julia is his one lifeline to home. In desperate times he'd have to cling to the only familiar (despite how much she's changed) thing that he has.

The part that surprises me is that you, circes, are still considering which way to go with this. If the attraction is natural, then this is a story of a young woman coming into her own and discovering her worth, and even her dim-witted boyfriend realizing how special she is and how lucky he is to have her. If it's the milk, then it's about a woman with an unlimited sense of entitlement taking out her frustrations on those weaker than her, and manipulating someone, body and mind, to serve her needs with no regard for his wants or even his identity. It just seems like, by this point, you'd be wanting the story to go one way or the other.

The truth is probably somewhere in between. Julia may not know the full extent of the changes the milk would induce in Howard, and Howard certainly wouldn't. The questions at this point are whether Julia cares what the milk may be doing to Howard, and whether Howard feels that he's being manipulated on such a deep level that he starts to lose his grip on who he is. I think it's also foreshadowed that Howard may now find sex to be less satisfying that before; remember, the changes wrought by the milk are for her benefit, not his. All of which are things that they should talk about, but probably won't.

Woodclaw wrote: I had similar issues at first so I went back and re-read chapter 23 to see if I missed something. I think that the big problem is that we don't see how Howard worked his way around that particular point (although the nightmare scene might offer a little clue) during the two days of Julia's absence and so hgis behaviour between chapter 23 and 24 felt felt unnatural and forced. I agree that trying to move past this kind of issues is what creates a good and believable relationship, but not having a bit of insight on one half of the couple breaks the deal because it feels more like a magic trick.
I have to disagree with the second part of Torque's comment though. While I sympathize with Howard and his struggles, so far he has showed one very demeaning trait which is the inability to adapt to a new context. I know that some people consider this is a strength, but I think it's actually a weakness especially when combined with a very opinionated temperament like his. I absolutely understand his difficulties, but he often shows an almost suicidal need to showcase his perceived abilities and speak his mind in the worst moment. While this is understandable, this level of unflexibility is dangerous, especially considering that the Weald isn't just a world were the women are so radically different to be considered a different species althougher, but the entire world is rigged in their favour. For example, Howard keeps refusing the Claim is something that I consider absolutely fine and even a sign of character, but speaking his mind like he did with Salaan at the market isn't a display of courage or manliness, it's a very creative form of suicide.

I think that Howard has changed. He knew he couldn't keep up with Julia, didn't feel the need to prove that he could, and he was the one who suggested that Julia would have more fun skiing the tougher runs without him. And grungykitten beat me to the punch; Howard shared his opinion on the ski lift because he didn't know that he'd face such consequences for doing so.

I think it's Julia that doesn't change. She'll cause some damage, apologize, make some excuse for why it's not her fault or not important, then do it all over again. She threw Howard across a room and into the wall, but it was only because she was having a nightmare. Within a few minutes, they were in bed together, and Howard was trying to comfort her. She apologizes, but I don't get any real sense of contrition from her. And the answer is not to stop apologizing.

The interesting thing is how little difference it seems to make. Diving off a cliff into shallow water is stupid. But now we have Howard trying to do the right thing and still almost getting killed. Julia said that the arm band meant a lot to her, and it was potentially Howard's only means of safety, and then she just forgets it. When a ski patrol guy tried to help her find Howard, he still got thrown across a room. The men there are damned if they do and damned if they don't. You could do everything in your power to please a woman and still wind up in the hospital without a second thought. It's consistent with the rest of the world, though. Women who've never experienced pain are oblivious to how much of it they cause, and the social contract amounts to "let me sear your flesh with a hot branding iron and scar you for life so you don't get hurt."

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23 May 2017 15:00 #54255 by smoki07
Replied by smoki07 on topic LaPorte Caves
Just a question. Can Weald Woman claim men as many as they want?

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23 May 2017 15:28 #54256 by Woodclaw
Replied by Woodclaw on topic LaPorte Caves

smoki07 wrote: Just a question. Can Weald Woman claim men as many as they want?


If I remember right, Salaan said that his previous mistress had claimed him and several others.

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23 May 2017 16:13 #54258 by circes_cup
Replied by circes_cup on topic LaPorte Caves

smoki07 wrote: Just a question. Can Weald Woman claim men as many as they want?


A woman can Claim multiple men. She can also have romantic relationships with men that are not Claimed.

But in order for a woman to Claim a man, the man has to consent: once he's Claimed, that woman is basically in charge of his life for the remainder of his life. It's the one area where men's rights are truly respected. Ben consented. Howard hasn't.

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23 May 2017 17:18 - 23 May 2017 17:20 #54259 by smoki07
Replied by smoki07 on topic LaPorte Caves
Sorry guys, I have bad memory!
Last edit: 23 May 2017 17:20 by smoki07.

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25 May 2017 18:49 #54297 by circes_cup
Replied by circes_cup on topic LaPorte Caves

smoki07 wrote: Sorry guys, I have bad memory!


No worries! I appreciate the questions I can actually answer.

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25 May 2017 18:49 #54298 by circes_cup
Replied by circes_cup on topic LaPorte Caves
Thanks, everyone, for the great comments. It’s really great to see people struggling with the story -- as odd as that may sound -- because it shows that at least the story has generated enthusiasm.

Some of the struggles I’m seeing are intentional -- the tension that is built into the story, while others are not intentional and simply a sign of flawed writing. But either way, I’m having fun, trying my best to spin a good yarn, and I hope you’re having fun too.

As I said before, I’ll need to look at the consistency between chapters. Given the demands of my job and personal life, I have only 15 minutes at a time to work on this story. So the longitudinal threads of the story really suffer. I may go through the whole story to clean it up a bit before proceeding to the end. Or I may just proceed to the end. Not sure at this point.

Either way, in the future, if I ever give you guys the impression that my next story is going to be yet another 30-chapter marathon, please stop me. I need to learn to write shorter stuff!

”Woodclaw” wrote: I think that the big problem is that we don't see how Howard worked his way around that particular point (although the nightmare scene might offer a little clue) during the two days of Julia's absence and so hgis behaviour between chapter 23 and 24 felt felt unnatural and forced.


Yea, point taken-- and Torque’s points as well on the same item. That’s something I’m gonna look at.

”Grungykitten” wrote: Remember, Howard thus far has only interacted with Ruth, Mindy and their friends. They all know how much Julia cares for him, so they treat him as if he's been Claimed by her. So their warnings about the kinds of casual brutality women can inflict, and how little protection un-Claimed men have from them, rang rather hollow. When Howard and Julia got into an argument after Sallan brought him back, he was still thinking in terms of "freedom of speech" and "freedom of movement", and resolving to "hold his own" against the Nourished women.
His encounter with the girls on the ski-lift changed all that. It gave him first-hand experience of how brutal the women can be, and how powerless he is. Then he skis down a trail designed for women, falls and is pretty much resigned to die when Julia rescues him, heals him and professes her love for him. I'm not surprised that he reacted the way he did.


Yes, this is what I was going for, so I’m glad it came through. In fact, you framed it up a bit better. He’s grateful to Julia not only for how she protected him from the cold, but also how she represents protection from other women as well.

And, as you may have guessed, I believe that the line between feeling protected (or grateful) and feeling attracted is a blurry one. We certainly blur that line all the time in our own culture: why else would the hero always get the girl?

”Torque” wrote: And there's still the fact that it's not like Julia has been especially forthcoming about her time away from Howard. Getting eaten out at spas, claiming the guy she first cheated on him with, feeding her milk to dozens of men at the office.... I feel like she knows he's really not going to accept that...


Yup. Nailed it. Was hoping that would be visible in the story.

”Torque” wrote: ...women are treated like goddesses because that's what they've been for so long that they have forgotten they're still human


Agree.

”Pepper” wrote: I get the impression that they both have things they can't talk about with the other right now; and things like getting burned or claiming another man get filed away. They each need to come to grips with them separately before they can deal with them together.


Yea, that’s a good way of putting it: filed away. Some issues in relationships are small and easily handled, but others are big and perpetual. At some point, couples need to abandon their desire to get everything resolved, and simply be tougher. At least, that’s what I was hoping the story would say, just not sure if I said it well enough. I’ll look through again.

”Pepper” wrote: I think that Howard has changed. He knew he couldn't keep up with Julia, didn't feel the need to prove that he could, and he was the one who suggested that Julia would have more fun skiing the tougher runs without him.


Glad this came through. That’s what I was going for.
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28 May 2017 16:07 #54330 by Monty
Replied by Monty on topic LaPorte Caves
Woodclaw - you really should stop dissecting author's stories here. The author's put a lot of work into producing great stories here but you try to grind them down. I've seen this before and Fats called it right when he said the site had become too snobbish. Please Appreciate the work people put in here!
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28 May 2017 16:20 #54331 by Woodclaw
Replied by Woodclaw on topic LaPorte Caves

Monty wrote: Woodclaw - you really should stop dissecting author's stories here. The author's put a lot of work into producing great stories here but you try to grind them down. I've seen this before and Fats called it right when he said the site had become too snobbish. Please Appreciate the work people put in here!


Sorry, I didn't want to sound snobbish, but since I love world building the more I read into a story I like the more questions I get. None of those were meant to be slights to Circes, nor the stories, just some ideas and doubts I had while reading.
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01 Jun 2017 05:07 #54435 by spacemonkey
Replied by spacemonkey on topic LaPorte Caves
Circes...loved the new chapters! I'm really looking forward to see how Howard and Julia grow as characters. I'm hoping they both learn a lot from the experience. I really can't help bu feel sorry for Howard; the poor guy just can't catch a break! It's like he's the world's chew-toy. I'd also like to say take your time with the rest of the story. As far as I'm concerned better to wait for a quality story than tripe...also, I think your pacing in the other chapters is spot-on.

PS. Dug up your other epic story and totally devoured it. Anybody else play "An End, Once and For All" from Mass Effect 3 during the final chapter of 'Deep Down Inside?'
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01 Jun 2017 20:36 #54462 by Pepper
Replied by Pepper on topic LaPorte Caves

circes_cup wrote: Either way, in the future, if I ever give you guys the impression that my next story is going to be yet another 30-chapter marathon, please stop me. I need to learn to write shorter stuff!

Yes, if we see this sort of thing start to happen again, we'll be sure to put a stop to it.

Yes, this is what I was going for, so I’m glad it came through. In fact, you framed it up a bit better. He’s grateful to Julia not only for how she protected him from the cold, but also how she represents protection from other women as well.

And, as you may have guessed, I believe that the line between feeling protected (or grateful) and feeling attracted is a blurry one. We certainly blur that line all the time in our own culture: why else would the hero always get the girl?

I hadn't considered that; I'll keep it in mind going forward. I might want to come back and revisit this idea once the story is finished.

spacemonkey wrote: I really can't help bu feel sorry for Howard; the poor guy just can't catch a break! It's like he's the world's chew-toy.

What an interesting way to put it.
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03 Jun 2017 17:58 #54516 by circes_cup
Replied by circes_cup on topic LaPorte Caves

spacemonkey wrote: Circes...loved the new chapters! I'm really looking forward to see how Howard and Julia grow as characters. I'm hoping they both learn a lot from the experience. I really can't help bu feel sorry for Howard; the poor guy just can't catch a break! It's like he's the world's chew-toy. I'd also like to say take your time with the rest of the story. As far as I'm concerned better to wait for a quality story than tripe...also, I think your pacing in the other chapters is spot-on.

PS. Dug up your other epic story and totally devoured it. Anybody else play "An End, Once and For All" from Mass Effect 3 during the final chapter of 'Deep Down Inside?'


Really glad you liked the new chapters! Over the last few weeks, I've been mostly focused on how to clean-up/improve/fix stuff, so it's great to hear from someone who's just enjoying it. I agree that it's been a rough ride for Howard, but you can tell by the end of 24 that the story is beginning to venture into new territory.

Also glad to hear you like DDI. As my first story, it was pretty experimental and therefore controversial -- it has some huge fans, but many others that didn't get into it. But it was a huge amount of effort so I'm always glad to hear when somebody liked it!
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11 Jun 2017 03:48 #54666 by circes_cup
Replied by circes_cup on topic LaPorte Caves
For those of you that haven't been over to my DA page in a while, Lowerbase has done some really nice art on LPC that is worth checking out. Among the pieces is a series of panels showing part of Julia's transformation, and a motion of clip of Julia walking. Fantastic stuff!

circes-cup.deviantart.com
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11 Jun 2017 09:28 #54669 by Woodclaw
Replied by Woodclaw on topic LaPorte Caves

circes_cup wrote: For those of you that haven't been over to my DA page in a while, Lowerbase has done some really nice art on LPC that is worth checking out. Among the pieces is a series of panels showing part of Julia's transformation, and a motion of clip of Julia walking. Fantastic stuff!

circes-cup.deviantart.com


The Ruth clip is spectacular and, I have to give Lowerbase credit, the Julia transformation sequence is creepy as hell. Between the crapton of empty Nourishment jugs and her expression she really looks like someone who is heavily addicted and is about to overdose it.
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