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The remarkably friendly discussions on SWM

30 Jan 2015 00:35 #40110 by shadar
I wanted to share my appreciation for everyone on SWM for the remarkable quality of the discussions. When you compare our forum to just about any other publicly available, unmoderated forum, it is truly remarkable.

Things I enjoy:

+ Most of our active members post things of value. Whether it's a new perspective or a picture or a link to something many of us haven't seen, maybe some data or a good rumor. In so many forums, some of the most active posters add no value. Just noise. But not here.

+ Mutual respect. It's amazing here. We have many differences of opinion on just about every topic, but we don't fight or insult or belittle people. We do argue, but in a respectful way. There are no dogmatic "right" or "wrong" lines in the sand. To a person, everyone understands the art of respectfully agreeing to disagree.

+ Open minds. We love new ideas, as a group. And we evolve. We change perspectives sometimes.

+ No sniping and astonishingly little trolling, or any of a dozen other misbehaviors that plague most forums.

As a result, there are few hurt feelings among active posters.

So... given that the SWM is so odd and wonderful in this way, and so rare, WHY?
Is it just a bit of luck that we don't have the usual assholes?
Or is there something about this narrow area of interest that only draws intelligent and agreeable people?

Other possible explanations, anyone....?

Shadar
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30 Jan 2015 01:03 #40112 by Agent00Soul
Replied by Agent00Soul on topic The remarkably friendly discussions on SWM
I agree with that! :laugh:

As for the reason, it might be because it's a relatively small community that posts here. I've noticed this on music boards as well: the pattern seems to be that the more an interest is broken down to smaller groups of people, the politeness factor goes up and the troll factor goes down. Possibly because it's easier to mod fewer people too. I didn't realize this board was unmoderated actually.

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30 Jan 2015 02:52 #40113 by brantley
Replied by brantley on topic The remarkably friendly discussions on SWM
Could part of it be that we like women? The kind of guys who put down women seem to behave obnoxiously in other ways too.

--Brantley

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30 Jan 2015 03:13 #40114 by shadar
Replied by shadar on topic The remarkably friendly discussions on SWM

brantley wrote: Could part of it be that we like women? The kind of guys who put down women seem to behave obnoxiously in other ways too.

--Brantley


Maybe that accounts for some, but there's something much bigger. Otherwise the Net as a whole wouldn't be saturated with obnoxious posters. There can't be that many men who don't like women, could there?

Shadar

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30 Jan 2015 03:57 #40116 by inactive
Replied by inactive on topic The remarkably friendly discussions on SWM
I think the issue with a lot of internet communities is that the truly obnoxious have more time and energy to put into being obnoxious than anyone else. Eventually, everyone else just gives up and goes home.

And yes, there seem to be plenty of men who only like women as long as they "know their place. "

- GeekSeven

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30 Jan 2015 04:07 #40117 by oldHarmonyMotion
Replied by oldHarmonyMotion on topic The remarkably friendly discussions on SWM
Because if we get out of line, any of the women we write about will come and kill us.

Unless you're already into that kind of stuff, in which case they'll come and kill you anyway. Hmm, scratch my idea.

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30 Jan 2015 04:13 #40118 by oldHarmonyMotion
Replied by oldHarmonyMotion on topic The remarkably friendly discussions on SWM
And nice thread Shadar :)

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30 Jan 2015 04:20 #40119 by fats
I feel that that the main reason why we have such good discussions is due to a shared love of the topics, a unwritten agreement that we treat each other nicely and a gentle approach to moderation that has allowed discussions to take place that in other forums would have been crushed by heavy handed moderation.

Fats
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30 Jan 2015 04:25 #40120 by Jabbrwock
Replied by Jabbrwock on topic The remarkably friendly discussions on SWM
Humans mostly can only process a limited number of other people as actual people. Beyond that number - around 200 IIRC - they are just "those others."

A small community like this, we can deal with each other as members of our tribe, and don't need strict rules enforced with moderation, which is the forum equivalent of brute force. In a large community, the bulk of posters and readers are just "those others" and our instinctive desire to get along with others in our tribe doesn't apply. Thus, it takes a tribe claiming the forum as its own property and enforcing rules via moderation to keep things civilized.

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30 Jan 2015 06:45 #40121 by erikphandel
Replied by erikphandel on topic The remarkably friendly discussions on SWM
I think the liking women is part of it, like Bradley said, but it's a thing of the kind of women we like. We are psychologically "passive" in our sexual preferences, so I assume we must be "passive" about other decisions in life. "Passive" people tend to be more educated, because they prefer not to disturb or annoy others. Also, I think we have a kind of appreciation and respect for everyone here, since almost everyone produces quality material in which almost everyone of us is interested.

This is highly amateur psychological analisys, yes.

Or we could be just lucky that this part of the internet gathered such a large number of polite and simpathetic nerds <3

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30 Jan 2015 08:58 #40122 by shadar
Replied by shadar on topic The remarkably friendly discussions on SWM

Jabbrwock wrote: Humans mostly can only process a limited number of other people as actual people. Beyond that number - around 200 IIRC - they are just "those others."

A small community like this, we can deal with each other as members of our tribe, and don't need strict rules enforced with moderation, which is the forum equivalent of brute force. In a large community, the bulk of posters and readers are just "those others" and our instinctive desire to get along with others in our tribe doesn't apply. Thus, it takes a tribe claiming the forum as its own property and enforcing rules via moderation to keep things civilized.


I like this idea. A tribe. We come here to celebrate what we have in common, which naturally promotes neighborliness and mutual respect.

Shadar

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30 Jan 2015 11:35 #40124 by lfan

shadar wrote: We come here to celebrate what we have in common, which naturally promotes neighborliness and mutual respect.

Shadar


This thread is fucking stupid! :P

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30 Jan 2015 12:08 #40125 by fats
lfan is a funny old man, it's a pity that his old age has made him a grumpy old man, but as least he's not lost his sense of humour.

this thread like all threads are valuable in their own way.

Fats

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30 Jan 2015 12:10 #40126 by lfan

fats wrote: lfan is a funny old man, it's a pity that his old age has made him a grumpy old man, but as least he's not lost his sense of humour.

this thread like all threads are valuable in their own way.

Fats


It's early here....very grumpy....love you all!

ElF

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30 Jan 2015 12:24 #40127 by fats
a pic of lfan sent by his wife to me last year, warning, it might scar your brain.

Warning: Spoiler!


Fats

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30 Jan 2015 12:37 - 30 Jan 2015 12:38 #40128 by lfan
Well......

Getting BACK on topic, thanks for the post< Shadar, and I echo your sentiments. Call it 'female cratolagnia', call it love of superheroines, call it 'liking to look at hot girls in costumes' -- whatever you label it, I think we all can agree that it's not as mainstream as other genres so it's nice to have a 'tribe' like ours.

The only two rules hard and fast rules at SWM are:
1) Don't be publicly sharing or encouraging sharing of genre-based materials made by our genre based producers (e.g. Cult Retro, WCG, PSW, etc)
2) Don't be an asshole

While I have had to ban a few from the village because of these rules (they probably just rejoined under other names), I am always surprised as well by the amicability of these forums. My only wish would be for more to participate in the conversation and fun.

ElF
Last edit: 30 Jan 2015 12:38 by lfan.
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30 Jan 2015 12:45 #40129 by paulwitz
Replied by paulwitz on topic The remarkably friendly discussions on SWM
I have always respected women. I would take an intelligent strong independent yet loving woman over a beauty queen any day. Substance is what counts at the end of the day. I don't think we are a passive group at all. Just because we rarely blast each other doesn't mean that a fiery fired heart isn't pumping our life source through our bodies. We might be more intelligent than the average guy out there in other forums, but I think also that it is our leaders (administrators) who quietly yet firmly direct us on the positive road of great story telling, sharing, and mutual respect that each of have in this forum. May our great blessings and great story telling never end. B)
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30 Jan 2015 15:25 #40131 by shadar
Replied by shadar on topic The remarkably friendly discussions on SWM

fats wrote: a pic of lfan sent by his wife to me last year, warning, it might scar your brain.

Warning: Spoiler!


Fats


No big deal... about what I expected. <grin> God forbid we should put our own faces in our avatars. (Well, then they wouldn't be avatars...)

But to be honest, this should have been labeled NSFW -- Not Safe for Women.

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30 Jan 2015 17:02 #40134 by castor
Replied by castor on topic The remarkably friendly discussions on SWM
This Forum and to a degree the site isn't always what i want it to be-i wish we had a larger Female Audience for example(when ever i show my stories to women its a big hit) , but i agree the small group and friendly people generally do to keep a good group. Your all pretty good people, who do good work, As Writers Artists, Filmmakers and forum posters.

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30 Jan 2015 18:45 #40137 by Daphne
Replied by Daphne on topic The remarkably friendly discussions on SWM
This thread may be unnecessary, but its definitely not stupid. The people here ARE friendly and I'm guessing the readers are a lot more diverse because of that.

Just my two cents.

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30 Jan 2015 19:30 #40139 by jdrock24
Replied by jdrock24 on topic The remarkably friendly discussions on SWM
Yeah, it is nice here. I like it.

My two cents as to why is because of the relatively small size of this genre. Plus, men who are into powerful women on the internet are probably somewhat timid in real life and thus less likely to make waves and tick others off. I know that is a generalization but it may have a bit to do with it.

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30 Jan 2015 20:25 #40141 by SHTL
A big "thank you" must be directed to the moderators, this is the most important reason this forum is so far from the general low-level on tne net.
SHTL

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30 Jan 2015 23:58 #40150 by AlbertC
Replied by AlbertC on topic The remarkably friendly discussions on SWM
Despite the fact that I rarely participate in the discussions, and I admit, I don't have so much patience about writing, it is important to say that in 10 yrs that I follow SWM community I always found a pleasant environment to discussions.

This is very important, we work, we have our duties and the last thing everyone wants here is to get more stressed, let's always keep it good.
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31 Jan 2015 01:53 #40155 by www1969
Replied by www1969 on topic The remarkably friendly discussions on SWM
I'm also an irregular poster, but frankly I had originally intended to only lurk here. I'm a regular and more frequent participant in several other forums, all of wildly different interests, where I've learned to just tune out the irritating noise. Here there's none of that. Others have speculated on the reasons, and any or all sound good to me. I just know this has always been a welcoming and drama-free place.

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