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SGInc Collaborative Story Workshop 3.1 Poll and Comments

06 Sep 2007 16:04 #10197 by admin
There were 3 entries to our first collaborative workshop.

A very large "Thank You" to our contributors for all their work.

Read the entries in the SWM StoryBank (link at the top of the page or click on this: http://www.superwomenmania.com/storybank/index-d.html ) then vote for your favourite and post your comments in this thread!

The voting is open for the usual 7 days.

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06 Sep 2007 21:53 #10204 by brantley
A poor showing (Three entries? THREE?), except that.....

Wow, I've never seen an elaborately illustrated story like AceNaut's here before. And it READS well too. Congratulations!

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06 Sep 2007 23:59 #10207 by sgfan05
I gave my vote to Brithright, although the other entries are also excellent however this one is my favorite. Loved the length and set up of the story and the characters. Althought the ending is slightly annoying, damn cliff hangers :D

Excellent Work!

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08 Sep 2007 02:07 #10216 by Grayface
Wowzers! I've only read The Supergirl of Smallville by Team Acenaut so far and I must say I was impressed! I mean usaly I dont go for supergirl stories. I usaly lose intrest sooner or later and I was expecting to do that and move on to a diffrent story, to my suprise I read it all AND I liked it! Good job Acenaut! I had a blast reading it.

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08 Sep 2007 05:26 #10217 by yohashuan
Thanks all for the contributions. Sounds like they're all good. I've only managed to make it through Birthright so far but wow... it's hard to imagine the other two could beat that one! Looking forward to finding out though. My vote is still forthcoming.

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08 Sep 2007 18:00 #10221 by argonaut

Wowzers! I've only read The Supergirl of Smallville by Team Acenaut so far and I must say I was impressed! I mean usaly I dont go for supergirl stories. I usaly lose intrest sooner or later and I was expecting to do that and move on to a diffrent story, to my suprise I read it all AND I liked it! Good job Acenaut! I had a blast reading it.


Thanks, Grayface! I hope other readers enjoy it -- including "skeptics" like you.

Just to clear up any puzzlement -- our story has nothing to do with the Smallville TV series. Ace and I are fans of the "Silver Age" Superman comics of the 1960's, and our story tries to capture something of their flavor. Specifically, it's an homage to the so-called "Imaginary Stories" that used to appear in those comics. These were "what if?" stories that showed what might happen in the future (What if Superman married Lois Lane?) or what might have happened in the past (What if Lex Luthor had been Clark Kent's adoptive brother?)

Often the events in an Imaginary Story were reversals of regular continuity. Captions would point these out -- usually calling them "ironic twists of fate" or something like that. In our story, the sentences that appear in comic-book font carry on that tradition.

(Question: If those were "imaginary stories," does that mean that all the stories set in regular continuity actually happened?)

Ace and I would like to dedicate the story to our wives -- who put up with all the hours we spent at the keyboard over the past few months, who served as beta readers, and who provided inspiration for the character of Lana.

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08 Sep 2007 20:22 #10223 by yaracyrrah
Wow. Best.Workshop.Ever. "The Popcorn War" was the most vivid and novelistic, "The Supergirl of Smallville" was the most fun, but "Birthright" was the most powerful, so it gets my vote.

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10 Sep 2007 02:18 #10230 by yohashuan
Yeah - I think Supergirl of Smallville is probably the second best contest entry I've ever read. Unfortunately for the authors, Birthright is the absolute tops. Both of them are absolutely fantastic. I would love to see the authors continue their works - especially Birthright... which ends at the most agonizingly cliff-hanging place! I liked Popcorn well enough -- but sorry, it was just outclassed by the other two epics, with Birthright getting the nod.

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10 Sep 2007 03:39 #10231 by argonaut
Thanks, Yosh. "The Supergirl of Smallville" has been plotted through Lana's senior year. We're hoping to post Chapter 10 soon. Expect more ironic twists of fate -- and more fantastic illustrations by TGK (including one that's my personal favorite!).

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10 Sep 2007 04:28 #10232 by ace191
Well fortunately, the instructions were to vote for your favorite, not the best, or we might not have gotten any votes, including our own!

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10 Sep 2007 15:07 #10233 by lfan
Yosh --

Thx for the props coming from the author of Serena! Much appreciated. I'll continue with the lovefest:

Popcorn War
========
A very well-thought out and novelistic tale, was a very enjoyable read but seem (as was mentioned) as smaller piece of a greater hole. Would like to see a continuation of this body of work...

SG of SM
======
As a fellow fan of the Silver Age imaginary stories, I loved this spin on the "powers switch" theme. The writing was straight outta the DC Comics editorial room of the 60's, with TGK's steller illustrations cliching it and driving the point home. A excellent and well thoughtout tale which was a good blend of "half DC comics and half SWM". Special recognition goes to Ace and Argo's generous contribution of artwork which had to be custom-done for the story. If anyone has ever purchased commissioned full inked and colored pieces before, this was not just a couple of bucks! For that we thank you!

Overall, its somewhat ironic that none of the pieces were "complete" works. Speaking for our team, we had every intention but as we wrote, we kept backfilling the story rather than proceeding forward. All of a sudden, it was the deadline. Then we backtracked a little and so cruelly cut the story right at the climatic confrontation of Angela (angel) and Evelyn (Evil). Sure it was dirty pool, but the good news is that at least some of the sequel has been written.... :)

In terms of sheer pages produced, this Workshop gets high marks, but I would be remiss in saying it was disappointing when I heard from admin the number of total entries (3), especially in light of the banter of partnering and the interest shown from the poll.

Dunno if it was because people were not open to collaboration or just too busy, but wanted to solicit feedback that maybe we should return back to solo contests or do we think SWM contests should take a brief hiatus to have the authors re-charge their batteries.....welcome any thoughts, especially from authors -- established, fledging, or wanna-be.....



ElF


Yeah - I think Supergirl of Smallville is probably the second best contest entry I've ever read. Unfortunately for the authors, Birthright is the absolute tops. Both of them are absolutely fantastic. I would love to see the authors continue their works - especially Birthright... which ends at the most agonizingly cliff-hanging place! I liked Popcorn well enough -- but sorry, it was just outclassed by the other two epics, with Birthright getting the nod.

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10 Sep 2007 16:15 #10235 by brantley


Popcorn War
========
A very well-thought out and novelistic tale, was a very enjoyable read but seem (as was mentioned) as smaller piece of a greater hole. Would like to see a continuation of this body of work...


Wherefore art thou Jordan?

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10 Sep 2007 23:50 #10238 by yohashuan
I was going to say... about the only thing I found wrong with Birthright was that the pacing seemed to speed up a bit too much towards the end. The recounting of the story of Miles & Elizabeth was fantastic - and could easily have been a standalone piece. Likewise, the amount of time spent on the background stories of both daughters was very impressive. IMO what makes a great transformation story is the depth of background given to the main characters (the more you become involved in their pre-superhuman lives, the more riveting their eventual magic transformations become). So it was a very rewarding read from that standpoint. However (and correct me if I'm wrong), it felt like the authors weren't able to give the amount of time, attention, and love to the tail end of the story as they did to the beginning - especially where Evelyn was concerned.

I like that it sets up part 2 so effectively, and I'm really looking forward to it. I'd also like to see the authors give the last quarter of the story another once-over -- just to draw it out with the kind of lush, emotional writing that carried it through the first 3/4's.

As for Smallville, the pacing was great, and the characters & writing style were all spot-on for a 'Silver Age' style-tale. I really can't think of a specific negative to this one other than that it was just very straightforward... no unanticipated plot twists or dramatic tension (outside of Clark's depowering-hangover mopiness). I would love to see this blossom into a full-fledged series of stories that I can continue reading for the next 10-20 years! I don't think anyone likes girls who wear the "S" more than I do... so it was hard not to give it my vote... but in the end it was still edged out by the superior emotional content of Birthright.

Thanks again to the contributors. Can't really say why I haven't joined into a contest lately (well, aside from job, family, searching for a new house, etc, etc, etc) - but I hope they don't stop being held. I'd be much more likely to enter a short story contest than one of these full-blown novella dealios -- I don't know how you guys do it!

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11 Sep 2007 00:46 #10239 by lfan

I was going to say... about the only thing I found wrong with Birthright was that the pacing seemed to speed up a bit too much towards the end. The recounting of the story of Miles & Elizabeth was fantastic - and could easily have been a standalone piece. Likewise, the amount of time spent on the background stories of both daughters was very impressive. IMO what makes a great transformation story is the depth of background given to the main characters (the more you become involved in their pre-superhuman lives, the more riveting their eventual magic transformations become). So it was a very rewarding read from that standpoint. However (and correct me if I'm wrong), it felt like the authors weren't able to give the amount of time, attention, and love to the tail end of the story as they did to the beginning - especially where Evelyn was concerned.


Curious as to WHERE exactly in the story you thought the pacing sped up too much and the attention to Evelyn was lacking. You are correct that some stuff was left on the cutting room floor in the last few scenes. Just curious WHERE you thought it was lacking for reference next go round.

I like that it sets up part 2 so effectively, and I'm really looking forward to it. I'd also like to see the authors give the last quarter of the story another once-over -- just to draw it out with the kind of lush, emotional writing that carried it through the first 3/4's.


Part 2 will be, if goes according to plans, more of an action oriented tale. But don't expect a 'battle to end all battles' war between the two sisters at the Bank. Part II has definitely just as much drama and characterization at Part 1. We just have to think it up! :P


Thanks again to the contributors. Can't really say why I haven't joined into a contest lately (well, aside from job, family, searching for a new house, etc, etc, etc) - but I hope they don't stop being held. I'd be much more likely to enter a short story contest than one of these full-blown novella dealios -- I don't know how you guys do it!


Just wanna clear up a common misconception. There is only one workshop rule (besides the obvious ubergirl theme): the "short-story" workshops must be 1000 words or less. That's it! Period! In other words the other workshops (aka "long workshops") do not have to be novellas -- or even long!! They just seem to turn out that way! Some of the promising works by Spulo, Greyface, Goobers, and others could defintiely qualify under the workshop guidelines.

The vision of SWM (explained to me by admin) is that it is NOT intended to be a portal for "ubergirlness" *, rather an incubator of one. A living, breathing source of NEW content (posts, stories, artwork, movies) not seen elsewhere. A vehicle for inspiring new content! The workshops are one facilitator of such content, so I hope that people continue to contribute if they can and help fuel the genre with new stuff from time to time.

ElF

* Yes, I'm aware I designed the homepage to say "Premier Girl Power PORTAL" :P

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11 Sep 2007 02:32 #10240 by ace191
We did things in reverse order. We started in the middle and moved toward the end when with about 6 weeks to go we realized that we had bit off way more than we could chew. We decided, ok we have to make it to point B and then we concentrated all our efforts on the start of the Story. As time went by, it became obvious that we were not going to make it. We asked for the first extension and then made it to the only place where we thought we could make our first stop, Point A. With two days to go, we had about a third of Chapter 6 done. With the second extension, we finished that at a leisurely pace and it came out much better than if we had slammed it together in two days!

For about four months one or the other of us worked on this story nearly every day. We have cranked out forty five thousand words of which twenty five thousand have been polished and submitted. I don’t know how many times my wife said “Are you working on your story again”, or “are you e-mailing Argo again?” Considering that we hit our five hundredth story related e-mail in early July (I quit counting at that point) she might have a valid complaint or two!


"As for Smallville, the pacing was great, and the characters & writing style were all spot-on for a 'Silver Age' style-tale. I really can't think of a specific negative to this one other than that it was just very straightforward... no unanticipated plot twists or dramatic tension (outside of Clark's depowering-hangover mopiness). I would love to see this blossom into a full-fledged series of stories" .....Yosashuan

Don’t worry about the plot twists and dramatic tension. We have at least 10 more chapters to go of which several are already written or plotted out. And we have the commissions for these on the hard drive so to speak!

I cannot tell you how much fun Argo and I had doing this. Only two significant fights (over what now seem like incredibly trivial points) and I would say that we are even better friends now than when we started! He is a genius with dialogue IMO, and one hell of a nice guy to put up with me for this long!

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11 Sep 2007 04:28 #10241 by argonaut
And if you think Clark was mopy over the loss of his powers, how do you think he's feeling now that a super-girl has made her debut? (For a hint, check out the splash page at the top of our story!)

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11 Sep 2007 19:57 #10251 by conceptfan
I loved SGirl O.S. I was blown away by the artwork - top, top work guys. The story itself was a lot of fun: I thought you got the tone and style just right as kind of halfway between a homage to the Silver Age and a gentle mocking of it. It's obvious Ace and Argo put a hell of a lot of work into the project (Argo's message above gives some kind of idea of the scale of it) and I'd just like to say thanks for sharing the results. It was worth the effort, guys.

Popcorn War has massive potential, no doubt. It's a solid, attention-grabbing start of a longer story that needs to be written.

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11 Sep 2007 20:56 #10252 by brantley

IPopcorn War has massive potential, no doubt. It's a solid, attention-grabbing start of a longer story that needs to be written.


Wherefore art thou, Jordan?

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12 Sep 2007 23:44 #10263 by Random321
Birthright Part 1 by Lfan and Conceptfan:

Just superb. I'm looking forward to part 2 already ~ what an ending. I can tell where one writer leaves off and the other pics up ~ that's not a comment on writing style but rather the tendencies of the two. The division of labor is perfect and the characters perfect for the two writers. The "power-up" scenes were written well and I loved the descriptions. "hearing the cotton ripping" The Bank devastation was fantastic. The creativity and sequence of the story I loved.


The Popcorn War by B.T. Elkins and J. Taylor

Well done writing. I thought I was reading Ring World style writing. Now, some Larry Niven books I struggle with as a result of the crazy character names, but the writing in this was of that caliber and had that feel too. Fantastic stuff. Very descriptive without going over the top

The Supergirl of Smallville by Team Acenaut

This one was also one of the best stories I’ve read. When I first started I was worried that it was based on the WB/CW series ~ but it isn’t. So I scrubbed the preconceived character faces and attitudes from my mind and put in place a more Silver Age feel and it was awesome. I liked the mix of art and story. Reminds me of what I used to do with stories and manipulations. The pacing was good, and somehow you got the characters right so that they didn’t come off a annoying kids, and there wasn’t a “freak of the week feel either. Guess what I’m saying is the writing was better than early SV to say the least.


With such great stories how can I judge with no bias? Well ~ Keywords: "Skirt", "Lift", "Metal"

Popcorn: Had one key word multiple times.
Birthright: Had all three multiple times
Smallville: Had all three a fair number of times.

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13 Sep 2007 00:01 #10264 by argonaut

With such great stories how can I judge with no bias? Well ~ Keywords: "Skirt", "Lift", "Metal"

Popcorn: Had one key word multiple times.
Birthright: Had all three multiple times
Smallville: Had all three a fair number of times.


But our story had two of the words ("skirt" and "lift") in the same sentence. (In Chapter 9, Louie lifts the hem of Supergirl's skirt with the tip of his pool cue -- which Supergirl promptly slaps aside.)

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