SGInc Story Workshop 1.12 Poll and Comments

There were a total of EIGHT "Super Villainess" stories submitted -- one of the best showings in a while!

Many thanks to all our contributing authors.

Check out the stories here...

www.superwomenmania.com/storybank/index-d.html

...then vote for your favourite and post your comments on the stories on this thread. The poll will run for 14 days, and as usual, the author whose entry gets the most posts will win the coveted title of "Best Villainess Story Writer by a SuperwomanMania Audience Member Using a Concept Originally Thought Up By Berkhart"


ADMIN

A fine story, Anon. Your English is sometimes a little "off,"

As usual, I'm sorry for this, but, since I rewrote the whole story just a week or so before the deadline, I had little to no time to make the required editing.

For me, what makes the story stand out is your portrayal of Caridad Martinez. Her ruthless, Machiavellian intelligence makes her formidable even before she gains super-powers. Once she has those powers, it's clear that nothing will stand in her way!

Thanks, that was exactly the effect I was looking for. Unfortunatly I was unable to include another element, before her transformation she was already a very highly skilled fighter, now not only she has the power to rip a tank apart with her bare hands, but she knew how to use this power to maximum effect too.

Now that Caridad is the ruler of San Jeronimo, how will she govern? Does she have an agenda beyond her own ambition? Do you think you might answer these questions in a sequel?

San Jeronimo is not the name of the conuntry, I left the name purpotedly out, San Jeronimo is just the name of the revolutionary militia, based upon the village that was their first base.

I haven't planed it yet, but it's entirely possible to put together a sequel, there are some little notes that are worth considering:

1- Caridad was an extremly skilled and intelligent woman before the tranformation, now her abilities are increased hudredfolds
2- She is currently the only person who knew the complete formula of the drug that gave her superpowers, she potentially has the control over the existence of other superbeings
3- She wants power, but behind this limited definition her plans are quite nebulous, she is smart but have little to no experience of the possible implications of politics, so is equally possible that she decided to remain as leader of her country or find herslef some private shelter like Geekseven's Selene

My personal comments on the stories (I haven't decided which one to vote yet)

21st Century Magic: Gotcha!

While I greatly enjoyed the other instalments of the "21st Century Magic" serie this one left me a little cold. Don't get me wrong the story is extremly weel written, the characters are well designed and characterized and the action flow very smothly (something I felt my own entry lacked). I think that in my eyes the problem is that this story looks too unfinished, a little too many strands were left pending and some characters deserved a little more time under the spotlights. Otherwise is very good work and I found interesting the choice to use something different from the usual kryptonian/powerhouse power suite.

The Celebutante

This is the funniest story of the workshop, the idea to use News broadcasting as introduction for the various scenes is simply brilliant, and the way you handled it, making the exploit of Kenzie more central than anything else is sadly realistic. Plus the final twist to make her the world new heroine is real fun.

Chief Executive Villainess

This story has a little problem, it is missing a few lines just before the end. Apart from that is good solid piece of ubergirl's fiction with a little extra at the end, the hostile takeover, that I liked very much (I had a similar idea a while ago but I never wrote it down). My only complain is that the trial/dome ripping scene, that in my eyes should have been the centerpiece of the whole looked a little too short poor on details.

The Chosen One

Well this is a real blast, while a little longer than others it's easy to read and hit almost every possible high note: a obsessed but quite believable villain, over the top power stunts and the right mix of humor in the mix. There are only two questions I have:

1- Considering Hannah's already absurd power level, how powerful is Ashley?
2- Facebook and Myspace granted powers, what kind of effect can possibly YouTube have?

DBUG

Admitedly Marknew choose the most difficult subject, the Dumb Blonde archetype is a classic, but is also very difficult to handle properly, especially if you are looking for a non-humorous effect. Even so I honestly didn't appreciated this entry, a pity since I found some of Marknew's old stories really intersting (especially Maryanne's Wish and The Pick-up).

My Turn Now

As with YAGS' story, Ace's looks more an introduction to a bigger narrative rather than a self contained tale. What I found very intriguing is that while Kerry isn't good, she not exactly evil either, an effect I tried to use several times but never succeded.

Payback's a Bitch

A very good story, I put this on the same level of The Chosen One, with a nice fourth wall breaking final saver, I hope to see a narrative ending version one day, even if this will burn some of the charm of this tale.

Thx for the kind words everyone on my story, folks! It was fun writing as I had had that idea for a story in my head for a while. The influence/inspiration of Super One (my fav MarkNew story and one of my faves ever in the genre) should have been evident in more than a few parts, most notably turning the "powers via a computer" into a 'contest/survey' as he did in Super One.

The "hair Flip gaffe" was totally Mark's idea. In fact, he wrote the last two sentences of that paragraph so credit where credit is due. I don't normally empower the supergirls to such fantastical levels but with Ashley it seemed appropriate and I jumped all over it when Mark sent his idea/thoughts.

I'm flattered its ahead in the polls and really feel proud of its appeal considering the overall strength of the entries. The best Workshop from top to bottom I'd say that we've had in a long while. I still have one to read so I'll refrain on my comments till I'm through with all of them, but thanks to all for pumping some much-needed life and content into the story library (GeekSeven's recent consistent contributions not withstanding of course!

Peace
ElF