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SGI Workshop 1.13: UPDATED 12/18/09

02 Feb 2010 15:19 #18121 by lfan
Replied by lfan on topic SGI Workshop 1.13: UPDATED 12/18/09
The three Workshop stories by G7, JKLJ, and Anon have now been posted in the Storybank. Poll to follow later!!

ElF

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02 Feb 2010 16:40 #18124 by deathgeonous
Replied by deathgeonous on topic SGI Workshop 1.13: UPDATED 12/18/09
Hmm, I wasn't that found of LKLJ's Queen Elizibeth, G7's Double Eagle was ok, but my hands down favorite was Anon's Divine Gift. Well, thanks to all who wrote these, bye for now. Oh, and I hope that this was the right place to put this comment, I think I've been lurking to long.

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02 Feb 2010 18:45 #18127 by lfan
Replied by lfan on topic SGI Workshop 1.13: UPDATED 12/18/09
Welcome, Death! This is the correct place (at least until I set up a poll I guess). Funny thing is that QE the Great was my fave of the three. Different strokes, I guess.....

ElF

Hmm, I wasn't that found of LKLJ's Queen Elizibeth, G7's Double Eagle was ok, but my hands down favorite was Anon's Divine Gift. Well, thanks to all who wrote these, bye for now. Oh, and I hope that this was the right place to put this comment, I think I've been lurking to long.

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02 Feb 2010 20:02 #18128 by Woodclaw
Replied by Woodclaw on topic SGI Workshop 1.13: UPDATED 12/18/09

Hmm, I wasn't that found of LKLJ's Queen Elizibeth, G7's Double Eagle was ok, but my hands down favorite was Anon's Divine Gift. Well, thanks to all who wrote these, bye for now. Oh, and I hope that this was the right place to put this comment, I think I've been lurking to long.


Thanks, I've read the other two submission yet, but I'll do as afast as I can. In the meantime I'm quite depressed by having a workshop with only 3 entries... I hope people won't take this bad like the last time.

(formerly Anon, still Librarian)

"What is the point of having free will if one cannot occasionally spit in the eye of destiny?" ("Gentleman" John Marcone)

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03 Feb 2010 10:54 #18145 by oogber
Replied by oogber on topic SGI Workshop 1.13: UPDATED 12/18/09
I read and enjoyed all three! I honestly couldn't pick which one I liked the most.

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03 Feb 2010 12:35 #18146 by kshoo
Replied by kshoo on topic SGI Workshop 1.13: UPDATED 12/18/09
Hi, for me it's a toss-up between England and Japan :) Anyone else throwing their hats into the ring too?

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03 Feb 2010 21:50 #18154 by JKIJ
Replied by JKIJ on topic SGI Workshop 1.13: UPDATED 12/18/09
Thanks to those who have read and enjoyed my little story. I'm glad that it entertained some people. I had visions that nobody would like it. There are certainly a few things I'd have liked to try and improve and I can spot some errors that I should have corrected, but I ran out of time. Ah well. I do hope to get part 2 written at some point, though that certainly won't be for a while yet.

I definitely enjoyed both the other stories. Thanks for them, Anon and GeekSeven. My vote, when the poll is up, will go to Divine Gift since I would say that was my favourite of the two and I will not be voting for myself. I'll try to be more specific about the stories later.

I did find the similarities and differences between the three interesting. We all felt the need to place the time of each event in the story, though GeekSeven was a bit more specific than Anon or myself. Two of us made the superwoman the eventual ruler of their country while in the third she might decide to make herself ruler of a mighty empire. The biggest difference is in the origin of the women, with me being the odd one out.

I must admit to being disappointed that tthere were only three entries. I was hoping to read more of them since I do think this alternative history is an area ripe for our exploitation. I hope that we will see some of the other entries at some point. LFan's already promised to finish his and this is certainly one area where I think "better late than never" is absolutely right.

Once again, thanks to those who read and liked Queen Elizabeth.

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03 Feb 2010 22:43 #18155 by inactive
Replied by inactive on topic SGI Workshop 1.13: UPDATED 12/18/09
I'm a little disappointed in how my story came out. As they say in Hollywood, there were script problems from the start. I was only able to finish it by ripping out most of the origin story.

There are a couple of upcoming stories in the 'Liberty Belle' universe that I'm a little happier with.

I enjoyed both of the other entries and I'm not sure where my vote will be going just yet. I beta-read 'Divine Gift' and I thought it was imaginative and well thought out. 'Queen Elizabeth' is nicely written and evokes a good sense of the period.

- GeekSeven

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03 Feb 2010 23:22 #18156 by Woodclaw
Replied by Woodclaw on topic SGI Workshop 1.13: UPDATED 12/18/09
Well, I've finished reading and there is little I can add to the comments.

About Double Eagle the problem, I think, was that the entire set-up and dvelopment of action were to static, not slow mind you (JKIJ and mine stories had a lot slower build-up) just everything happens in very limited location, I think that the scenes lack the sense of scale or size that G7 previous work had.

About Queen Elizabeth I was quite shocked by the similarities, both in development and in format (scenes divided by time). Clearly there were also differences, in my story only 3 historical characters appeared the Shikken, Kublai Khan and the mentioned Bukko, who was actual Zen monk; while JKIJ included several.

I believe that JKIJ narration was supeior to mine in at least two points, first he came out with actual origin story were I simply redesign Superman's to fit the setting, second he was able to portray the manners and the way of speaking of his characters a lot better.

About the whole ruling superwoman angle that these stories tend to keep, I think it's a double faced matter. First is quite easy to think that a superhuman unwillgly to keep her identity secret will soon becomes embroiled within politics and being smarter, more powerful or, simply, more long lived coming to power. Second, while the concept of democracy is quite ancient, its widespread application is less than 300 years old, until the 18° century it was considered just a political theory, an exercise of imagination.

"A multitude of rulers is not a good thing. Let there be one ruler, one king."
- Herodotus

(formerly Anon, still Librarian)

"What is the point of having free will if one cannot occasionally spit in the eye of destiny?" ("Gentleman" John Marcone)

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04 Feb 2010 00:12 #18157 by yaracyrrah
Replied by yaracyrrah on topic SGI Workshop 1.13: UPDATED 12/18/09
I liked all three stories, but I liked Queen Elizabeth the best.

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07 Feb 2010 12:09 #18190 by JKIJ
Replied by JKIJ on topic SGI Workshop 1.13: UPDATED 12/18/09
Having re-read the stories a few times, I feel that both of the other stories were better at descriptions than mine. I don't feel that I managed to get the scenes that were in my head across as well as I wanted to, while I didn't get that in the others.

I do agree with Anon about the problem with Double Eagle being that it didn't quite seem massive enough. I suspect that the origin story would have helped.

It truly is amazing how similar the style of Divine Gift is to Queen Elizabeth, though as I said above I do feel that Anon did a better job of describing the action than I did. I would certainly be interested in reading more about Hoshkio's struggle with Kublai Khan if any more is written.

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