Amount

SGInc Story Workshop 1.5 Comments

30 Sep 2005 13:21 #2872 by d_k_c
Replied by d_k_c on topic Re: SGInc Story Workshop 1.5 Comments
Well I guess I’ll jump in. CF and Mnew were dead on with there analysis of Argonauts story. A fun read, well written and very PG. My advice, write a story with the girl being a bit more naughty maybe even a down right bitch. You won’t be able to help but give it an M rating and CF loves that shit=). Hey don’t look at me CF slipped me a few pounds to say that.

I read Mnews story and after the first few paragraphs thought this is where my vote is going and then the story tapered off. Still a great read like always but it didn’t finish as powerfully as it started. I’m still crossing my fingers for another Jilly Milly style story from ya=)

CF’s story is about another busty teen that’s bestowed with super strength and in turn becomes a fucking maniac. I loved it. My only complaint is that you built up Randolph’s weapon up so much that it almost seemed like a waste for it to be destroyed in a nano second. Other then that, right on dude. Keep up the great work. And in the words of Anon, I too have an un submitted story quite similar to yours. However, soon enough I intend to post it. Thanks for the inspirations=)

White Paw, You lambasted me with figurative and metaphorical language. For that…I hate you. I walked into a lamppost the other day just thinking of it. Got to be careful with that kind of narrative, we Canadians can’t handle that much of a sensory overload=>.

As for my own story. I have no idea what an Alorian is either. I made them up based on the lack of knowledge I had on Velorian and Arions. So I just sorta combined the two. The only thing I felt the reader had to know was while Alorians were tough, they were much weaker then a Kyrptonian. I also removed a large portion of the story which explained in maybe too much detail the connection between Hetman and the family he killed. But to sum it up, Hetman is part of a Squadron of troops that, for reasons based on blind anger, find themselves massacring a small village. It was the Alorian mother and father that stopped the massacre. They killed the entire squad and left Hetman as a quadriplegic. The Government covers it up, finds his body and turns it into a prototype weapon to secretly combat Alorian interference on earth. Hetman feel guilty for what he did, but masks that guilt with his hatred for all Alorians.

And as for the Project. Hey. It’s the final chapter. I gotta hold onto it before I submit it. In case I have any last second changes =)

Good job all…lookin forward to the next Ws

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
04 Oct 2005 07:34 #2921 by admin
Replied by admin on topic Re: SGInc Story Workshop 1.5 Comments
The polls have now closed. See the results here:

http://www.superwomenmania.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=487

Thanks to all our authors for taking part. Comments on any of the entries can still be posted here.


admin.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
06 Oct 2005 02:15 #2957 by WhitePaw
Replied by WhitePaw on topic Re: SGInc Story Workshop 1.5 Comments

White Paw, You lambasted me with figurative and metaphorical language. For that…I hate you. I walked into a lamppost the other day just thinking of it. Got to be careful with that kind of narrative, we Canadians can’t handle that much of a sensory overload=>.

[raspy voice] "Keep et douun....this is a laibrary." [/raspy voice]


<giggle>

[wisper] Oh, sorry, my bad. I get that lamppost thing all the time. Didn't notice the weather, I'll try an cover up more. :wink: [/whisper]

This image is hidden for guests.
Please log in or register to see it.



Love,
-White Paw

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
Time to create page: 0.067 seconds