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SGInc Story Workshop 2.4 Poll and Comments

30 Mar 2006 14:53 #5078 by admin
There were 14 entries to the Supergirls Incorporated Short (1000 word max) Story Workshop 2.4 (Theme: "An Ubergirl's Romantic Evening")

Many thanks to all our contributors for sharing their work.

Read the entries in the SuperWomenMania StoryBank:
http://www.superwomenmania.com/storybank/index-d.html

Vote for your favourite and post your comments on the stories in this thread. The poll will run for the customary seven days. The author of the story that wins the most votes gets to pick the topic for SGInc Workshop 2.5.


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30 Mar 2006 14:57 #5079 by lfan
Wow! 14....we have a new record! Congrats and thanks all!

LF


There were 14 entries to the Supergirls Incorporated Short (1000 word max) Story Workshop 2.4 (Theme: "An Ubergirl's Romantic Evening")

Many thanks to all our contributors for sharing their work.

Read the entries in the SuperWomenMania StoryBank:
http://www.superwomenmania.com/storybank/index-d.html

Vote for your favourite and post your comments on the stories in this thread. The poll will run for the customary seven days. The author of the story that wins the most votes gets to pick the topic for SGInc Workshop 2.5.


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30 Mar 2006 18:21 #5084 by Grayface
Replied by Grayface on topic SGInc Story Workshop 2.4 Poll and Comments
Well golly! this is gonna be a hard decision, so many a few realy unusaual stories that I liked a LOT. it's gonna be tough.

and LF I just gotta say you are truly and evil soul, your story was truly evil.

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30 Mar 2006 19:40 #5085 by lfan
Evil? Did you mean "LF" or "CF"? Evil wasn't was I was going for, but "for every action there's an unequal and unexpected reaction". Or something like that! :P

LF


Well golly! this is gonna be a hard decision, so many a few realy unusaual stories that I liked a LOT. it's gonna be tough.

and LF I just gotta say you are truly and evil soul, your story was truly evil.

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31 Mar 2006 15:19 #5088 by argonaut
Replied by argonaut on topic SGInc Story Workshop 2.4 Poll and Comments
Nice turnout! Thanks, everybody!

I read all the stories last night AND enjoyed them all -- some more than others, of course, but it's still going to be hard to choose a favorite.

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31 Mar 2006 18:30 #5089 by brantley
Replied by brantley on topic SGInc Story Workshop 2.4 Poll and Comments
Much better quality than usual, Argonaut, I agree.

Loved your in-joke about Empress Ria at the end of "Birthday Wish."

Of course, Conceptfan WILL be Conceptfan. Guess 50,000 guys are going to be blown away in more ways than one in his story.

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31 Mar 2006 23:24 #5093 by Grayface
Replied by Grayface on topic SGInc Story Workshop 2.4 Poll and Comments

Evil? Did you mean "LF" or "CF"? Evil wasn't was I was going for, but "for every action there's an unequal and unexpected reaction". Or something like that! :P

LF


Well golly! this is gonna be a hard decision, so many a few realy unusaual stories that I liked a LOT. it's gonna be tough.

and LF I just gotta say you are truly and evil soul, your story was truly evil.


may be evil wasn't the best chise of words, how about mean :wink: but I liked it a lot.

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31 Mar 2006 23:27 #5094 by Grayface
Replied by Grayface on topic SGInc Story Workshop 2.4 Poll and Comments

Evil? Did you mean "LF" or "CF"? Evil wasn't was I was going for, but "for every action there's an unequal and unexpected reaction". Or something like that! :P

LF


Well golly! this is gonna be a hard decision, so many a few realy unusaual stories that I liked a LOT. it's gonna be tough.

and LF I just gotta say you are truly and evil soul, your story was truly evil.


may be evil wasn't the best choice of words, how about mean :wink: but I liked it a lot.

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01 Apr 2006 03:52 #5096 by WhitePaw
Replied by WhitePaw on topic SGInc Story Workshop 2.4 Poll and Comments
The drivebys you’ve braced for, in the order I rifled: In general I kinda felt like you were all holding back, but I think after reading them all it was just me going over the top again.

Conceptfan’s Candlelight: a plain-vanilla wipe down well suited for a quiet evening.

Laurafan’s Charlie’s Angel: a soft muff of a slow-handed enhancement scene.

Velvet Tree’s It Ain’t Easy: a diary’s nip and tuck, framed in profundity. Fave so far.

Xoronewithnature’s Honeymoon: a bikini’s your 1000-word limit for striptease? Aw.

Mikey Freedom’s Pre-Date Jitters: an interrupted dinner revealed….pensive.

Ace191’s Snowman: a quick bunny romp in the chill. Cute.

AK’s Coming Home With Julie: a civilized airporter with a friendly tip.

AK’s Evening w/ Krypton’s Last Daughter: aborted musings, missed Paradise.

Yag’s Magic Super Agent: an original species, sporting backbone. Kudos.

Ordo’s David & Ceres: lace on stone in the morning dew--knots unraveled.

BW’s Romance Interrupted: a nickel-jar date w/ a “very convincing” golden girl.

Whitepaw’s Tight#1: beer ‘n chips night at the arena…but mostly beer.

Whitepaw’s Hijack: a jarring, body-snatching smackdown… the romance?

A few encouragements:

Welcome Velvet. You get the “used the fanciest word in a sentence” ribbon (“disabused”), and I you had the most profound things to say about the experience of being a super woman. But I’ve seen other things you’ve written and I know you’re holding back here, style-wise. I know you can trounce me at a whim.

AK: High-fives. Been there, done all that and more. ;)

Ordo: I enjoyed piecing your puzzle together. Your pieces are tactile, aromatic, and lusciously ornate-- but are disordered and lack the sinew to hold the picture together. Team with an editor willing to reshuffle you (your other self, perhaps?) and you’ll be unstoppable.

BW: Best line in the set about the “alien invasion”. Blindsided my funny bone. Kudos.

What I learned this go-round:

I am THAT “grits”? My ideas of ubergirl “romance” are WAY more rough-and-tumble than the whole of the rest of yours. I’m ok with that. But I’m going to have to vote my personal preferences along those lines this time and vote for my own Tight 1. Hijack’s a little too over the top, even for me (wrote it for a CoH friend of mine, actually).

Kudos all around to all the authors brave enough to post on a 1000-word limbo. See you all around next time.

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01 Apr 2006 04:25 #5097 by lfan
appreciate the kudos, GF.....danke!

Peace
LF


Evil? Did you mean "LF" or "CF"? Evil wasn't was I was going for, but "for every action there's an unequal and unexpected reaction". Or something like that! :P

LF


Well golly! this is gonna be a hard decision, so many a few realy unusaual stories that I liked a LOT. it's gonna be tough.

and LF I just gotta say you are truly and evil soul, your story was truly evil.


may be evil wasn't the best choice of words, how about mean :wink: but I liked it a lot.

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01 Apr 2006 05:31 #5098 by Ordo Cabaal Templarus
Replied by Ordo Cabaal Templarus on topic SGInc Story Workshop 2.4 Poll and Comments

Ordo: I enjoyed piecing your puzzle together. Your pieces are tactile, aromatic, and lusciously ornate-- but are disordered and lack the sinew to hold the picture together. Team with an editor willing to reshuffle you (your other self, perhaps?) and you’ll be unstoppable.


Gee, thank you WP. Yeah, David and Ceres was kind of an aristocratic lego set, now wasn't it...?

Just came back from a Sushi resturant too....

...

*Holds up a plate of Salmon sashimi* Get the sushi, White Kitty! Get the Sushi!

:twisted: :P

Thanks,
OCT[/quote]

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03 Apr 2006 14:56 #5106 by brantley
Replied by brantley on topic SGInc Story Workshop 2.4 Poll and Comments
Nobody else commenting?

And I'm a bit disappointed to see little or no support for "Honeymoon," "Pre-Date Jitters" or "Romance Interrupted."

Still, I have no quarrel with Larafan being the front-runner here. I don't think we've seen THAT twist at SWM before.

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03 Apr 2006 15:39 #5107 by lfan
Having read all of them, I found it prob the best batch of quality AND quantity from top to bottom than any other workshop so far. Congrats to all the authors!

I'll make my comments brief, centering on the two stories that I thought were the best and that I wrestled over for the poll vote:

SnowAngel
Excellent work from Ace and I thought the best and most fun example of "Ubergirl Romance" of the bunch. Playful, romantic, nice use of powers, and a cue last line. Great work!

Birthday Wish
Another steller work from Argo with a nice homage to CF at the end, showing that once exposed to the fantasy, girls can enjoy it as much as guys. I've commented offline with Argo on more of the details but the part that struck me as 'accurate' was his use of the "super jungle girl' fantasy as the first SIM. In my mind, jungle girl fantasies would be a nice segue into the harder core uber territory if trying to sheepishly convince a spouse/gf/significant other/date to try it.

At the end of the day, I ended up picking Argo's cause of that insight. Little did I later find out it was by coincidence. Oh, well....I still thought it was brilliant!

LF

Nobody else commenting?

And I'm a bit disappointed to see little or no support for "Honeymoon," "Pre-Date Jitters" or "Romance Interrupted."

Still, I have no quarrel with Larafan being the front-runner here. I don't think we've seen THAT twist at SWM before.

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03 Apr 2006 17:01 #5109 by argonaut
Replied by argonaut on topic SGInc Story Workshop 2.4 Poll and Comments

Nobody else commenting?

And I'm a bit disappointed to see little or no support for "Honeymoon," "Pre-Date Jitters" or "Romance Interrupted."


I'll try to start posting feedback later today. (And BTW, two of the three stories you mentioned were front-runners for my vote.)

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03 Apr 2006 18:17 #5111 by argonaut
Replied by argonaut on topic SGInc Story Workshop 2.4 Poll and Comments


Birthday Wish


Another steller work from Argo with a nice homage to CF at the end, showing that once exposed to the fantasy, girls can enjoy it as much as guys. I've commented offline with Argo on more of the details but the part that struck me as 'accurate' was his use of the "super jungle girl' fantasy as the first SIM. In my mind, jungle girl fantasies would be a nice segue into the harder core uber territory if trying to sheepishly convince a spouse/gf/significant other/date to try it.

At the end of the day, I ended up picking Argo's cause of that insight. Little did I later find out it was by coincidence. Oh, well....I still thought it was brilliant!

LF


Thanks for the kind words, Lfan.

Listening to my lit profs dissect stories and novels back in college, I used to wonder whether authors were thinking of all the things critics found in their work. I guess not ...

On the other hand, maybe I was guided, at some level, by a sense that a "super jungle girl" sim would be a good "trial balloon" for a first outing with a skeptical partner -- more so than, say, a "super-heroine rescuing hostage" scenario.

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03 Apr 2006 19:29 #5112 by brantley
Replied by brantley on topic SGInc Story Workshop 2.4 Poll and Comments
Back in 1998, a writer known only as Sam wrote several chapters of a serial called Liesa, about a Velorian who somehow ended up as a jungle girl. Sam was an early collaborator with the Artist Formerly Known as Sharon Best, but they had a parting of the ways and Sam was never heard from again. His unfinished saga is still available at Xtreme Strength, and that site used to post quite a few jungle supergirl photo manips, but I don't think there've been any lately.

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04 Apr 2006 19:11 #5129 by argonaut
Replied by argonaut on topic SGInc Story Workshop 2.4 Poll and Comments
Ace, BW, Mikey -- Your stories were the front-runners for my vote, and for much the same reasons: engaging characters, a light-hearted tone, well-crafted prose, and some nice displays of ubergirl power along with the romantic interplay. A special nod to BW, who is really hitting his stride as a genre writer.

One benefit of these "short" workshops is that it lets us hear from good writers who (presumably) don't have the time to prepare full-length stories for the "long" workshops. (Someday, perhaps ...)

As for you, Lfan -- I hate you! I was rather proud of the twist at the end of "Birthday Wish" ... but your twist beats mine hands down, you evil genius! Seriously, a nice feat of misdirection, adding to the fun I've come to expect of your stories.

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05 Apr 2006 01:36 #5135 by ace191
Replied by ace191 on topic SGInc Story Workshop 2.4 Poll and Comments
I would like to thank everyone for the kinds words. I had fun (as I expect everone else did) writing for this workshop. I would agree that it was the best group of stores ever.

When I read Argo's Story, I said to my self, here is the winner. Then I read LFan's and thought oh well Argo, there is always second place!

Why is it that we all love those clever, never saw it coming twists?

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05 Apr 2006 04:22 #5139 by argonaut
Replied by argonaut on topic SGInc Story Workshop 2.4 Poll and Comments
And let's not forget Conceptfan -- who gulled me (and many other readers, I'm sure) into thinking that the candlelight was for a cozy romantic tete-a-tete before showing us what it was really for.

Terrific story, cfan -- very "cinematic." I don't know if it's the effect you were aiming at, but it unfolds (to me) as a series of camera shots -- close up at first, then pulling back to take in the hillside, then zooming in again on the "goddess" as she inhales ...

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05 Apr 2006 20:13 #5144 by brantley
Replied by brantley on topic SGInc Story Workshop 2.4 Poll and Comments
Plugging into a sim are realizng it's about Empress Ria is like....

Getting into a limo and realizing too late that the driver is Toonces the Cat.

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