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Genhance Expo -- a new story

02 Aug 2011 01:07 #24180 by shadar
Genhance Expo -- a new story was created by shadar
I've posted a new short story, a vignette really, set in a future version of the DC Universe, when anyone with enough money can become a superhuman.

Inspired by Fly along with the latest WW pilot, not to mention some comic book scans and artwork I'd collected, I decided to paint a picture with words to lay the foundation for what could become some more stories.

Part state fair, part ComicCon with more than a bit of fitness and bodybuilding exposition combined, the Genhance Expo is something I'd sure like to attend.

velorian.net/genhance_expo.pdf

Shadar
The following user(s) said Thank You: yohashuan, Sarge395, JKIJ, Grayface, somat, Random321, dr lazarus, kobarsos, Revan

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02 Aug 2011 23:30 #24190 by eavatar
Replied by eavatar on topic Genhance Expo -- a new story
Nice story, how about a new chapter?

Going ahead is the only one way to go to the future.

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03 Aug 2011 00:24 #24191 by shadar
Replied by shadar on topic Genhance Expo -- a new story
Tks. Already working on it, starting by digging deeper into the Bruce Wayne/Cassie relationship.

And catching up with Kal as he tries to get Alura back on the straight and narrow.

Hint...he's going to have his hands full. She's 99% her mother's daughter when it comes to attitude.

Shadar
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03 Aug 2011 06:09 - 04 Aug 2011 03:53 #24195 by Gargamel6
Replied by Gargamel6 on topic Genhance Expo -- a new story
Very interesting approach - i liked it a lot (although i found it a bit unlogical that normal terrans could afford watching a show like this, when it is run by luther corp for an elitary peergroup only - but this is just nutpicking)

Also looking forward to the new chapter - keep up the good work :)

ADMIN test
Last edit: 04 Aug 2011 03:53 by Gargamel6. Reason: Gargamel test

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03 Aug 2011 09:02 #24197 by argonaut
Replied by argonaut on topic Genhance Expo -- a new story
Terrific story, shadar. You did a great job filling in the back-story while keeping up the action. And using the "Expo" as the setting was inspired. Looking forward to that next chapter. I hope we'll get more glimpses into the futures of various canonical characters from the DCU.

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03 Aug 2011 16:24 #24198 by yohashuan
Replied by yohashuan on topic Genhance Expo -- a new story
That was a fun ride. Good concept too. Cyberpunk potential. Actually before I waded into the story and was just reading your description, it really reminded me of the Deus Ex Machina trailer I saw a short while back (
).

Cheers & thanks again for the good read.

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03 Aug 2011 21:17 #24200 by Random321
Replied by Random321 on topic Genhance Expo -- a new story
Great story Shadar thanks.

I like the idea of half sisters ending up being very different people but one showing love and compassion in a firm way to the other even while getting nothing in return.

Using batman as the main perspective on events is also great. He is a favorite character of mine and can be used to bring a matter of fact account of events and perspectives without it seeming forced.

I thought the 65% write in vote for an independent – even if a good super celebrity - was a bit of a stretch – but who knows what will happen in 40 years.

Interesting that Alura takes the time to stop criminal Genhances – but doesn’t care much for “collateral damage.” A strange – hero / not-so-hero combo there.

Of course your action prose is among the best. Trains and super heroines are always fun.

Questions – will the people in developing nations that are getting the “aid” version of Genhance going to need the yearly injection?

Where is Jorel in all of this?

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03 Aug 2011 21:57 #24201 by JKIJ
Replied by JKIJ on topic Genhance Expo -- a new story
An excellent beginning. It's an interesting setting for the story with people showing off their enhancements and even more powerfull women crashing the party and causing destruction.

I wonder how far Superman has fallen away from doing what is right rather than what is easy. It will be interesting to see how it all plays out.

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06 Aug 2011 11:24 #24247 by davidelliot2000
Replied by davidelliot2000 on topic Genhance Expo -- a new story
Like everythin Shadar, totaly FANTASTIC
like allways has one iching for more.

My fantasys run toward the abuse of this enhacement by rich college grads who recieve this gift to assure thier acendence in scociety, but begin to play with their new toys a little to much, in a new retro-currant activity called BODPLAY like cosplay but with you'r own superhuman supersensual body. Since male physical dominance has been pretty much a given since primate beginings, I think female physical power and dominance would be the key-note or most bodplay, if only for it's knovelty. I imagine bratty 20 somthing girls taking advantage or their invulnerability and superhuman strengh to physicaly overpower and sexualy dominate men who used to scare them and creap them out, like guys who strare at the beautifull young women. The yong men probably would not find interest in abusing unenhaced women, but insead would flaunt their ability to please a superwoman with their own bodys while regular men can only dream. What would be more intimidating than to casually make love to a woman that has just minutes before proven impervious to bullets.

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07 Aug 2011 05:10 #24260 by shadar
Replied by shadar on topic Genhance Expo -- a new story
Sorry for not replying for a few days... we've been out camping where there is no internet or cellphone service.

Lots of encouraging comments here, and some interesting ideas to consider.

Next part is almost ready... I was able to keep my computer charged and amused myself by writing while hanging out in the woods.

Shadar

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09 Aug 2011 02:15 #24303 by shadar
Replied by shadar on topic Genhance Expo -- a new story
OK... the next part of this story is posted to my website.

Part 2 focuses on Bruce and Carrie's relationship, his new BatCave and his gadgets, as well as an interesting meeting with Kara at her house in Big Sur. Also a stunning comic image portraying Kara as I see her.

I also spent some time on world-building to give you a better feel for the situation in the year 2047.

It ends with a gigantic battle, with help coming from an unexpected direction. For those of you that like action, this will hopefully be an interesting battle.

Some parts of the story are NSFW.

Part 1: velorian.net/genhance_expo.pdf

Part 2 (NEW): velorian.net/cassies_fury.pdf

Shadar
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09 Aug 2011 06:56 #24307 by kshoo
Replied by kshoo on topic Genhance Expo -- a new story
Hi Shadar,
Just read both Parts 1 and 2 of the story, and I must say that I am hooked on the storyline that you've written so far. Kudos!

It is a very interesting future that you painted with regards to the Kryptonians, Amazons and Bruce in particular, and I like how you are depicting Kryptonians and their lives / habits from a non-Kryptonian POV (ie. Bruce, and to certain extent, Cassie). Superman actually becoming less of a boy-scout does seem to bring lots more things to the table, as with Kara now being the mother of two.

Hope to see more of this (and even others, if possible). Keep on writing!

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09 Aug 2011 08:24 #24310 by steelknight3000
Replied by steelknight3000 on topic Genhance Expo -- a new story
The story was well written but I didn't like how Batman was depicted as a super powered mutant and a strength-obsessed perv who stares longingly at other superheroes. He wasn't very likable and it didn't seem like something Batman would do.
It's also strange that biotech that dangerous would be legal.

One of the things I did like was how people enhanced themselves to have supersex.

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09 Aug 2011 11:21 #24315 by shadar
Replied by shadar on topic Genhance Expo -- a new story
I like the idea of revealing both the admirable and not so admirable sides of iconic heroes.

Bruce in this case is carrying the double burden of not only his future life, but also our POV for experiencing things that are just plain fun in the realm of superheroes.

Bruce's other burdens are that he's dating Cassie, an Amazon Demi-Goddess who looks 18 but is actually in her late forties. Bruce in his 80's but with an enhanced body that's barely 40.

He's going to be a big hero though, even if his life is a lot different right now than the iconic Batman.

Another example is Kara stepping out of her silk dress a few steps before entering her closet to change into her red and blue costume. Batman is watching her, and he catches a glimpse of her nude backside, and mentally compares her perfection to his girlfriend, Cassie.

Kara is too controlled for that to be an accident, which raises the question of why she did something the iconic Supergirl would never do.

An incomplete list of questions would be:

- Because Bruce was such a control freak when he trained her that she likes to mess with his head now?
- Because he was just staring at her daughter and she's feeling competitive?
- Because she's setting him up to teach him a lesson?
- Because she knows Bruce has a thing for her and she's teasing him?
- Because he's dating her friend Cassie?
- Because she's so arrogant that she thinks she can ignore the usual conventions and decencies?
- Or maybe just because she likes the way men react to her?

- There are probably a dozen more possibilities, maybe some that are kinder to her.

The point is that I haven't defined Kara's late fortyish personality well enough to know the answer myself. The only thing I know is that she won't portrayed like any incarnation of Supergirl you've seen before, she's still going to prove that she's as admirable a superheroine as her iconic portrayal.

And to be honest, older women are far more complex and confusing than young women. Emotionally, mentally, sexually, you name it. There's simply more going on upstairs based on experience.

Same goes for all the other characters.

In any case, those are the kind of images and actions that I think are fun to put on an iconic character, mainly because it makes you (and me!) ask the question of what's going on in their heads. To question what it all means.

Most of all, its a challenge for me to eventually reveal them as superheroes, despite my showing you their human flaws and deconstruct them a bit here at the beginning.

Hope this makes some kind of sense...

Shadar

kshoo wrote: Hi Shadar,
Just read both Parts 1 and 2 of the story, and I must say that I am hooked on the storyline that you've written so far. Kudos!

It is a very interesting future that you painted with regards to the Kryptonians, Amazons and Bruce in particular, and I like how you are depicting Kryptonians and their lives / habits from a non-Kryptonian POV (ie. Bruce, and to certain extent, Cassie). Superman actually becoming less of a boy-scout does seem to bring lots more things to the table, as with Kara now being the mother of two.

Hope to see more of this (and even others, if possible). Keep on writing!

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09 Aug 2011 11:28 #24316 by shadar
Replied by shadar on topic Genhance Expo -- a new story
Agreed...Batman is not very likable at first. Which makes it more interesting and challenging for me to make him an admirable superhero in the end.

As far as the dangerous nature of the biotech...recall that in the world of this story, corporations like LuthorCorp are so powerful that they can directly influence legislation. Presumably he also has ways to influence government offices like the FDA, as well as FBI and various judges. Consumer and patient protection is at an all-time low.

Shadar

steelknight3000 wrote: The story was well written but I didn't like how Batman was depicted as a super powered mutant and a strength-obsessed perv who stares longingly at other superheroes. He wasn't very likable and it didn't seem like something Batman would do.
It's also strange that biotech that dangerous would be legal.

One of the things I did like was how people enhanced themselves to have supersex.

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