The Librarian Notebook (a collection of sketches)

13 Jun 2016 19:41 - 14 Jun 2016 22:45 #48534 by Woodclaw
Woodclaw created the topic: The Librarian Notebook (a collection of sketches)
Well, let's face it, over the last two years I've started a number of stories and never managed to finish one :(
So after a long chat with AuGoose, I decided to follow his example and put out what little I managed to write down and see if I can find a sense to it all :)
If anything, it will help clear my mental attic.
The Devil in the Details (originally meant for the Winter 2016 workshop)

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Last Edit: 14 Jun 2016 22:45 by Woodclaw.
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13 Jun 2016 21:37 #48536 by shadar
shadar replied the topic: The Librarian Notebook (a collection of sketches)
A nice start. Some decent world building, albeit without giving too much away. Leaves me with both anticipation and questions. That's always good for a teaser.

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13 Jun 2016 21:48 #48537 by Woodclaw
Woodclaw replied the topic: The Librarian Notebook (a collection of sketches)

shadar wrote: A nice start. Some decent world building, albeit without giving too much away. Leaves me with both anticipation and questions. That's always good for a teaser.


Thanks :)
I hope to be able to deliver soon.

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15 Jun 2016 17:47 - 15 Jun 2016 18:57 #48574 by Woodclaw
Woodclaw replied the topic: The Librarian Notebook (a collection of sketches)
Again this new part is mostly set-up, apologies.
Devil in the Details (part 2)
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"What is the point of having free will if one cannot occasionally spit in the eye of destiny?" ("Gentleman" John Marcone)
Last Edit: 15 Jun 2016 18:57 by Woodclaw.

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15 Jun 2016 18:30 #48577 by shadar
shadar replied the topic: The Librarian Notebook (a collection of sketches)
Getting better and better. I like your attention to detail (sneakers squeaking as they contrast with click of heels as two women walk down the quiet hallway). Engaging all the readers senses is good writing.

Talking about a big compound with buildings spread over a half acre needs some work. Try five or ten acres if this is supposed to be in the US. Or a hundred.

My back yard alone is 2.5 acres, and my property is the smallest allowed in my area. Outside of the cities, it's a little different than Europe.

The government lab a few kilometers from my house that actually does classified DARPA research is on 100 acres and borders a bay to provide some privacy for whatever they do. Involves boats and submarines is all I can figure out. Saw a bunch of SEALS dressed in black with a black boat at the lab's dock once as I cruised by in the boat at sunset. Story is they do all kinds of strange things after dark. Nights are very long and rainy here in the winter. Lots of Navy bases and ballistic missile subs based about fifty kilometers from me, and they go right past here on the way to sea. Some of those massive subs (look up USS Ohio) have been converted into underwater SEAL bases that can go anywhere in the world, launching tiny subs.

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15 Jun 2016 18:52 #48579 by Woodclaw
Woodclaw replied the topic: The Librarian Notebook (a collection of sketches)

shadar wrote: Getting better and better. I like your attention to detail (sneakers squeaking as they contrast with click of heels as two women walk down the quiet hallway). Engaging all the readers senses is good writing.


Thanks :)

Talking about a big compound with buildings spread over a half acre needs some work. Try five or ten acres if this is supposed to be in the US. Or a hundred.

My back yard alone is 2.5 acres, and my property is the smallest allowed in my area. Outside of the cities, it's a little different than Europe.

The government lab a few kilometers from my house that actually does classified DARPA research is on 100 acres and borders a bay to provide some privacy for whatever they do. Involves boats and submarines is all I can figure out. Saw a bunch of SEALS dressed in black with a black boat at the lab's dock once as I cruised by in the boat at sunset. Story is they do all kinds of strange things after dark. Nights are very long and rainy here in the winter. Lots of Navy bases and ballistic missile subs based about fifty kilometers from me, and they go right past here on the way to sea. Some of those massive subs (look up USS Ohio) have been converted into underwater SEAL bases that can go anywhere in the world, launching tiny subs.


Well, the compound isn't meant to be military, nor outfitted for major mainteinance work, but maybe I got my measurements wrong. Problem is that I'm more used to think in terms of square kilometer. I'll go recheck my math.

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15 Jun 2016 20:46 #48583 by shadar
shadar replied the topic: The Librarian Notebook (a collection of sketches)
A half hectare would work...

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21 Jun 2016 11:31 - 28 Jun 2016 23:15 #48706 by Woodclaw
Woodclaw replied the topic: The Librarian Notebook (a collection of sketches)
Okay, now I'm dropping the cloak and dagger thing and go for the action.
Devil in the details (part 3)
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"What is the point of having free will if one cannot occasionally spit in the eye of destiny?" ("Gentleman" John Marcone)
Last Edit: 28 Jun 2016 23:15 by Woodclaw.
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21 Jun 2016 12:03 #48707 by LustMonster
LustMonster replied the topic: The Librarian Notebook (a collection of sketches)
I really like the detailed description of the sensations that Marie experiences while undergoing the transformation.

Looking forward to reading more!
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03 Jul 2016 22:42 - 07 Jul 2016 08:24 #48962 by Woodclaw
Woodclaw replied the topic: The Librarian Notebook (a collection of sketches)
One more bit. I'm trying to finish up the scenes I originally envisioned and giving some kind of continuity to the whole thing.
Devil in the Details (part 4)
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"What is the point of having free will if one cannot occasionally spit in the eye of destiny?" ("Gentleman" John Marcone)
Last Edit: 07 Jul 2016 08:24 by Woodclaw.

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05 Jul 2016 19:06 #48987 by AuGoose
AuGoose replied the topic: The Librarian Notebook (a collection of sketches)
While being nose down in my own writing sounds like a good excuse, it's still not good enough to justify having missed the progress being made here :). There's a number of small issue in tense and word order (the exact kind it's hard to see yourself but make proof readers go 'ah ha!). Beyond that I like a lot of the imagery (tropical fish!) and our heroine pretty much radiates competence. Super-strength vs. Super-cells is a fun battlefield and the constant clock of limited air and batteries pretty much ensures you can keep the tension rising and falling like a yo-yo on a string even without resorting to a big fight for every peak. The terrain itself is a formidable enemy.

Looking forward to more.

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05 Jul 2016 19:15 #48988 by shadar
shadar replied the topic: The Librarian Notebook (a collection of sketches)
I'm really enjoying the plot that you revealing. Very creative. Way better than the conceptualization used in previous movies about micronauts or whatever.

Writing in a second language introduces some wrinkles, but those are easy to fix in the final editing. As drafts go, this is great stuff.

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23 Oct 2016 13:56 - 26 Oct 2016 14:34 #50848 by Woodclaw
Woodclaw replied the topic: The Librarian Notebook (a collection of sketches)
This is a 2000 words scene that got into my head the last week and I had to put it on paper somehow.
A Tale of Two Rooms

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"What is the point of having free will if one cannot occasionally spit in the eye of destiny?" ("Gentleman" John Marcone)
Last Edit: 26 Oct 2016 14:34 by Woodclaw. Reason: Fixing some grammar.
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23 Oct 2016 18:17 #50851 by circes_cup
circes_cup replied the topic: The Librarian Notebook (a collection of sketches)
Nice! I like how he is making the connection based upon her theatrical behavior rather than anything more mundane. I wonder whether the reason he feels so safe in the room is that she doesn't not have enough of an audience to merit doing anything interesting.

I can suggest some tweaks to the dialogue if you are still working on it, but if this is your final version then I won't bother you with suggestions.

I'm also intrigued by the mention of Lady MacBeth. She is the opposite of a self-empowered woman: Lady MacBeth calls upon her husband to commit a horror but then does not have the strength to bear the moral weight of the consequences. Was the selection of Lady MacBeth intentional or just an example of a difficult role?

Do you have a follow-on plot in mind?

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23 Oct 2016 18:55 #50852 by Woodclaw
Woodclaw replied the topic: The Librarian Notebook (a collection of sketches)

circes_cup wrote: Nice! I like how he is making the connection based upon her theatrical behavior rather than anything more mundane. I wonder whether the reason he feels so safe in the room is that she doesn't not have enough of an audience to merit doing anything interesting.


Your reasoning implies that she actually is the Giantess, which is something that I purpoutedly left undefined. She might be or she might just be just so good at playing mind games that her threats appears are much more substantial that they should.

circes_cup wrote: I can suggest some tweaks to the dialogue if you are still working on it, but if this is your final version then I won't bother you with suggestions.


The entire purpose of this thread is to publish works in progress for your enjoyment, so fire away.

circes_cup wrote: I'm also intrigued by the mention of Lady MacBeth. She is the opposite of a self-empowered woman: Lady MacBeth calls upon her husband to commit a horror but then does not have the strength to bear the moral weight of the consequences. Was the selection of Lady MacBeth intentional or just an example of a difficult role?


The choice was mean to highlight Emma's level of skill, given that it's a role that is rarely offered to young actresses, as far as I know, I didn't consider the female empowerment implications of it. While your analysis have some merits, there's one additional fact Lady MacBeth is the true engine of the entire plot and, in the first act, she stand out as being the only character willing to act and scheme -- however desplicable -- to get what she want, instead of waiting passively, like most of the male characters.

circes_cup wrote: Do you have a follow-on plot in mind?


Not right now, this was single scene I had in my mind and needed to be written.

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18 Apr 2017 11:00 #53699 by Woodclaw
Woodclaw replied the topic: The Librarian Notebook (a collection of sketches)
I know that this thread has been dormant for quite a long time, but all I can say in my defense is: RL got me. Last year I started my new job, but it really got steam between November 2016 and January 2017. Since I work as a professional translator this means that I have to read and write on a screen for 8 to 10 hours a day, I think you can all imagine how this might affect the idea of sittingdown and writing even more after hours (plus I blame a friend of mine who hooked me up to playing Warframe on a regular schedule).


Anyway, a couple of years ago I stumbled upon and very nice online software for building 3d printed miniatures called Heroforge . It's mostly geared toward building fantasy and sci-fi character, but it can handle a few superheroes designs with a little bit of help. So far this is my best effort with it and I don't think I'll have to spell who she is ;)



I also tried to do a Supergirl, but due to the software limitations I could only manage to recreate the Linda Danvers white shirt design.

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If anyone is interested to try his hand at this, each picture links to my original design and you can tweak it however you like ;)

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