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A Silver Shock

02 Nov 2016 01:51 #50987 by sarahsilver
A Silver Shock was created by sarahsilver
Hello all! While I am not new to the site (being a lurker and all), this is my first attempt at some writing, a story to possibly go into the Superwomenmania's library, if it is good enough! Keep in mind that this is just a preview, I am still writing it as you are reading this! Feedback and enthusiasm is welcome!

A Silver Shock

By Sarah Silver

With great power comes great responsibility’ is a quote that I believe that has relevance in this conversation,” the silver haired woman spoke into the mic.

The scene was one both chaotic, exciting, and intense. A room full of eager, waiting, craving people were there crammed into this room. A Congressional hearing had been called on the matter at hand, the impressive woman that was standing before some of the most powerful US government officials in the United States.

Camera flashes blared, small gasps escaped the mouths of the onlookers and press hearing her speak so boldly into the mic. She stood looking every one of the Congressman and Senators that sat on high before her. The silver haired woman continued.

“It is a quote from one of your mythical stories, from one you call Spider-Man. And I am here to tell you, had I not taken the responsibility to take that great power, you wouldn’t be sitting here with your all your ‘authority’ over me.”

Her accent was English is seemed, but it was not her first language. Her natural accent and language was not of this world. That silver haired woman wasn’t from Earth. She was from another world, in another dimension. She had cobbled together a spell to learn some Earth’s languages just understand them.

One of the Congressmen leaned forward into their mic. Glasses, balding, hair combed over. “Our ‘authority’ is to ensure the safety of the United States, and even the rest of the world to a degree. We want to make sure that you are not a threat.”

The silver haired woman smirked. “If I wanted you dead, you and I both know that you would be already. And, why do you presume to have authority over someone who is not of your world? I am at most a guest, perhaps even unwelcome one. I did not come here by choice.”

The Congressman sat back in his chair, nodding at her answer. Another spoke into the mic, a female, she looked to be middle aged, auburn hair parted to the side, a Senator it seemed. “Then tell us, why did come here?”

The silver haired woman turned to the woman, looking around the room and then spoke again. “Well, perhaps starting from the beginning would be best.”

One Week Ago

Sarah Silver, the aptly named silver-haired sorceress climbed up the stairs. She knew that she was too late from stopping Kareen. But maybe she could at least hinder her progress. Silver robes draped over her 5’2 frame. She wasn’t exactly developed, looking something like a young girl going through puberty, instead of a 22-year-old woman that she was. But she had magical might to back her up, even if her looks weren’t that impressive. As she hit the top the stairs, there was the raven haired woman, about to take the power of the Empyrean Orb for herself. Its shape was a mix of swirling colors and streams of energy dancing over the floating object. “Kareen! Stop! You don’t need to do this!” She had a spell ready to stop her if she made a move to use the Orb.

Kareen was taller than Sarah Silver, standing five foot, seven inches. She was much more womanly looking. A modest bust, modest hips, refined face. Her legs and arms looked graceful, coming out from darkened robes. There was a rather sinister sneer on her face as she turned to face Sarah. “Late as usual, Silver Sorceress. My studies have brought me to this point, nobody, not even you can stop me,” her voice echoed over the halls of the ancient towers.

The Empyrean Orb hovered there, ready for the taking, and the Silver Sorceress was indeed too late. All Kareen had to do was touch that orb. “I am afraid I can’t let you do that,” the young woman’s voice called over the distance to her rival. “What would you do with all that power, Kareen? Other than step over the all the people of the world? Because that is exactly what you have done to get here! Kill in the name of your own progress!”

Kareen cackled, her green eyes glimmering as she looked down into the crimson eyes of the Silver Sorceress. “And you think you are deserving of such power? What would you do? Hide away like you always do in the corner? You are a coward, too scared to move forward with your own magics!”

Sarah shook her head, an angered scowl coming to her face as she stared down the raven haired woman. During the conversation she was closing distance to the Empyrean Orb. She was close enough now that she might be able to stop Kareen with her prepared spell. “Somebody has to stop you. If that somebody is me, the most unlikely of all here, then I will!”

The Silver Sorceress’s hand flung forward, lighting crackled off the palm of hand, as it arced forward towards Kareen. However, despite aiming the spell at her intended target, the Empyrean Orb reacted of its own accord, taking the bolt of lightning. “NOOOO,” Kareen screamed watching in horror as the destructive energy took Orb.

Sarah saw what was happening before it was too late to stop the spell. The damage was done. The Empyrean Orb cracked, down the middle, splitting in two, seemingly damaged beyond repair. But that wasn’t all that happened.

As the Orb split, the power that held it together tore a portal open in space and time, and began to take all that was near it – the two halves of the Empyrean Orb, Kareen, and Sarah. All that Sarah heard was her own screams as she was sucked into portal.

There were a few flashes to the crimson eyed woman’s vision as she traveled through the portal. Wherever she was headed, she knew full well that Kareen was coming with her. Her body tumbled out of control, but somehow she managed to straighten herself out as her body flew through this portal. Her eyes caught sight of at least one half of the Empyrean Orb. The inside of the portal was blue in color, light speeding past her sight in streaks. Her eyes searched around surroundings as she spotted her raven haired rival tumbling and spinning out of control as well.

Kareen meanwhile was to upset in her own anger and fury at what had just happened to care. There was a half of the Empyrean near her, she could feel its power radiating off of it. But just as she was about to reach for the orb, her and Sarah’s trip through the portal would end. Both she and Sarah were thrown through the other end without any warning.


The portal opened, spitting the both them out across a blue sky, both flying away from each other in opposite directions with a half of the Empyrean Orb. Sarah watched as they were throw away from each other like polar opposites of a magnet. Her crimson eyes started to fling this way and that as the blue sky faded from view through the clouds.

Her body hurtled through sky as she turned seeing that half of the Empyrean Orb fly off further and faster than her own body. She spotted what appeared to be green ground, and she was going to have to think quickly about how she was going to safely land. The Silver Sorceress knew that she was not on her home world, the feel this new world told her so. She couldn’t feel any magic wherever she was now. She would have to draw from her own mana reserves to make use of any magic.
She was hurtling down at an incredible rate now, the ground quickly getting closer to her. With a few words she managed to slow her decent with a flight spell, though this world’s gravitational pull was different, and while she was slowing down, she didn’t know if it would be enough to actually keep her alive.

The trees came fast and hard, she crashed through several branches before hitting a branch stomach first, knocking the wind out her. She tumbled from branch to branch the ground before losing consciousness.

Some Time Later…

The crimson eyes of the Silver Sorceress snapped opened, a dull pain throbbing over her head and ribs. She was in a bed of some kind, underneath some blankets. She rubbed at her temples, before her eyes snapped to attention around the room. Posters adorned the walls of drawings she had never seen before. There was a window on the wall beside where she lay, shades partly drawn. She could see the green of trees, the chirping of birds. Her eyes fixated on the posters, one of a person dressed in a red and blue costume with a rather intricate web design all over it. Another caught her eye of a woman dress in red, white and blue, raven haired, throwing out a lasso towards the viewer.

Her eyes continued to roam around the room, wondering just where she was. Clearly somebody lived here. Sarah’s questions were quickly answered when the door to the room opened. “Oh you are awake,” the voice was female.

The crimson eyed female let her gaze focus in on the female that had entered to the room. Short, brown haired, a little mousey. She couldn’t have been that much taller than Sarah was herself. She was wearing glasses, making her green eyes look larger than they actually were. The Silver Sorceress realized that she did not understand what the girl was saying to her. “What is your name,” she asked.

Sarah spoke. “Werd gwoth nos abnum,” in her own language. Of course, the girl wasn’t going to understand her. Sarah Silver shook her head and closed her eyes, tapping into her mana reserves. She had enough mana to cast a few spells here and there, but since there wasn’t any mana where she was currently, she would have use them sparingly.

“I don’t understand what you are saying…maybe you hit your head really hard,” the girl said concerned. “It’s a good thing my parents don’t know you are here, they would flip their shit…”

Sarah sighed, sitting up, eyes looking forward towards the girl. “Anyway, my name is Brittany,” the girl said again, reaching a hand forward for Sarah to take and shake.

The Silver Sorceress didn’t understand this gesture and cautiously raised her hand from underneath the blankets, taking hold of the hand. Brittany did the rest by shaking it. The silver haired woman canted her head to the side as she did this.

“Hmm, maybe Google can help me with your speech, and injuries,” Brittany said as she took out her smartphone, the screen lighting up as she began typing into the phones search bar.

“Hos san koton,” Sarah asked. Well, rather she asked ‘What is that device?’ Sarah was again confronted with the language barrier. She shook her head, one translation and learning spell coming up. With a bit of her mana used up, her hands glowed, as she reached for the smartphone, taking it out of Brittany’s hands.

“Hey,” she snapped, but then stopped herself as she saw what Sarah was doing. Blue light emitted from her hands, the smartphone’s screen flickering as images and text disappeared and reappeared at a magical rate. Her phone couldn’t do that, at least not unless something supernatural was controlling it. “How…how are you doing that? Magic?”

The blue glow faded from her hands, Sarah closing her crimson eyes, as her mind processed the new languages in her head, the rest of the spell doing the work. She opened her eyes looking back at Brittany. “You speak, English, yes,” she said.

“Whoa, how…did you do that,” Brittany said, startled at the fact the woman on her bed was now speaking English.

“To answer both of your questions, yes. Magic.” Sarah had said it rather matter-of-factly, as if it was normal wherever she was. Oh, right. Introductions. “Ah, yes, my name is Sarah Silver. Well met, Lady Brittany.”

“Uh…hi, Sarah…” Brittany it seemed was still in shock. Magic…this woman, whoever she was, just used magic. As her mind raced with a thousand questions, she decided that it was best that she discover whoever Sarah was. “Where are you from?”

Sarah nodded to her, now understanding her language. “I am from a world called Nexius. I came here by rather unknown means. I know your world does not have magic in it, I do not sense any. And before you ask, no I cannot just cast a spell again for you, my mana reserves are limited since I cannot draw upon magic sources here.”

Brittany stopped herself as she thought of her next question. This was like right out one her comic books. “You said you are from Nexius? Why are you here, on Earth?”

“Earth…this is what you call your world,” Sarah blinked. That was a rather plain sounding name for this place. “I was sort of forced here. I was trying to stop somebody from destroying my world with the Empyrean Orb.”

More questions bubbled up in Brittany’s mind. “What is an Empyrean Orb?”

Sarah gulped, the more she questions she answered, the less time she would have to locate Kareen, and the two halves of the Empyrean Orb. “It is an object that would grant unimaginable power to whomever possessed it.”

“So you are here to stop that person from using this Orb? This is like straight out of the comic books,” Brittany marveled. She went straight to her smartphone and started tapping on the screen as fast her fingers would let her.

“Brittany, I don't have to tell you how important it is-” she was cut off with a finger pressed against her lips.

“Sarah, can you explain this,” the geeky girl asked as she raised the phone to the Silver Sorceress’s eyes. Brittany hit play on the screen. Sarah’s eyes widened as she watched the video playback.
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02 Nov 2016 04:00 #50991 by lfan
Replied by lfan on topic A Silver Shock
Color me, intrigued, Sarah, and welcome aboard!.....Would love to read more. An excellent start!

ElF
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02 Nov 2016 04:46 #50992 by circes_cup
Replied by circes_cup on topic A Silver Shock
Looking forward to seeing where this goes!
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02 Nov 2016 10:51 #50999 by Woodclaw
Replied by Woodclaw on topic A Silver Shock
Welcome Sarah, it's always good to see a new writer enter the fray.
As for feedback I think that the story looks very promising. I like that you choose not to start with the usual flkying brick set-up that most of us are favour. In general the narrative flows pretty well, although you action scene might need a bit more of urgency.
The only real negative I noticed so far is the need for a bit more scenery -- again it's not a big thing and it's one of those elements that come with experience -- but I believe that a tad more would create a better feeling overall.

As soon as the story is ready I'll be glad to see it added to the Library :)

(formerly Anon, still Librarian)

"What is the point of having free will if one cannot occasionally spit in the eye of destiny?" ("Gentleman" John Marcone)
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02 Nov 2016 22:02 #51014 by sarahsilver
Replied by sarahsilver on topic A Silver Shock
All I can really say is thank you for the positive responses thus far!

@Woodclaw: Yes I was thinking about adding some finer detail to environment and scenary as you had mentioned. I am currently doing that right now.
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22 Nov 2016 22:56 #51363 by sarahsilver
Replied by sarahsilver on topic A Silver Shock
I figure you guys would want to see a bit more of what I am writing so...I am going to throw this in a new post to keep the topic relevant.

Whatever device that was used to capture what was transpiring on that small screen, the Silver Sorceress knew exactly who and what was going on. “Kareen, what have you done,” she asked the screen, almost like she had lost hope.

The scene was one of chaos and terror. People screaming, hiding, begging for help as an amazingly beautiful woman hovered in the sky over a cityscape, London by the looks of it, flinging fire from her fingertips. Police and military fired guns at her, the bullets harmlessly bouncing off her. She was dressed darkly, a sort of two-piece design to the clothing she was wearing. A crop top and long pants or leggings that went down into heeled boots that appeared to be painted onto her skin. It was orange and brown, a fiery like pattern becoming more apparent in the orange parts of the outfit, the brown looking parts looking as if smoke was rising from the fire. Sarah didn't remember Kareen looking like that, let alone displaying that kind of power either. Her hair was wild, long very and even darker than before. It looked like it could block out the sun. She looked taller and much more physically built. Breasts that looked like they could be barely contained in the top piece, clearly as large as her head, if not larger. Her skin, was tanned now, though not overly so, just enough to make it seem like she had spent some time in the sun.

“Sarah, who is Kareen,” Brittany asked, interrupting the silver haired woman’s gaze on her smartphone. “You know who that is?”

Sarah’s crimson eyes gaze broke from the video as she looked to the window. She had meant to stop Kareen in her world, not bring her to a new one to destroy. “Kareen...Kareen was a rival of mine. She was the one I was trying to stop from using the Empyrean Orb. Clearly it didn't work. She must have used the half of the Orb that went with her when we came her.”

Brittany looked puzzled and then nodded. “So why don't you use the other half of the Orb to stop her,” she asked.

Sarah shook her head. “I don't know where the other half is. I was separated from it when I was pulled through the portal here. The half that Kareen used must have been nearby, wherever she ended up.”

“You have to find it and use it to stop her! There are people suffering because of what you did,” Brittany snapped.

Sarah looked back at Brittany, almost glaringly. “What makes you so sure that when I find that piece of the Empyrean Orb that I won't turn out like Kareen did? Its power was never fully understood on my world. Clearly it did something to her, what is to say it won't do the same to me?”

Brittany was a bit taken back by Sarah’s words. If what she was saying was true, then maybe it wouldn’t be a good idea for Sarah to use it. “With great power, comes great responsibility,” Brittany quoted.

Sarah heard those words and something struck her. “This words you speak, they do not sound like your own. But they are very wise.”

The geeky girl smiled a bit. “That is because they aren’t my words. They are Uncle Ben’s.”

“Your Uncle Ben is very wise indeed,” The Silver Sorceress remarked.

Brittany opened her mouth, about to correct Sarah that Uncle Ben wasn’t indeed her uncle, but a fictional one before she shook her head to get back to the matter at hand, the Empyrean Orb. “What I am trying to say is, it’s your responsibility to stop Kareen, even if it is at the cost of great power.”

Sarah nodded to her, looking down at the bed. “I see what you are saying. Your world is at risk, and somebody has to take responsibility for what is happening out there.” She clenched her jaw, and took in a deep breath. “Well, I am going to have to start by finding the other half of the Empyrean Orb, assuming that Kareen hasn’t used both pieces.”

Brittany eagerly watched as the spell was cast. Sarah’s crimson gaze lit up with a blueish light. The spell itself was designed to detect the Empyrean Orb. Though the longer the spell was active, the more her mana reserves would be drained. Sarah was trying to make sure she as little of it as possible, as she would need enough to travel to the location of the fragmented artifact.

Sarah wasn’t quite feeling its presence nearby, as she had hoped it would be. No, that would be to easy. She expanded the spell’s search radius. This was going to take quite a huge toll on her mana reserves if this kept up and she had to keep expanding her search. Her glowing eyes shift color to green as she felt the presence of the Empyrean Orb some distance away from the house that she was in now.

The silver haired sorceress stopped the spell feeling her mana reserves drained enough now that she at best could cast several much weaker spells or one huge spell. “I found it,” Sarah stately flatly. “The problem is, getting to it, I could very well teleport it, but all of my mana would be drained if I did that.”

Brittany nodded to her. “Look out the window there. What direction is the Empyrean Orb in?” The girl gulped unsure if she could be of any assistance to the stranger from another world.

Sarah did as she was asked to, staring out into the unfamiliar world that she was now stuck in it seemed. The Silver Sorceress was somewhere in the Virginia country side, staring off towards the Blue Ridge Mountains. “There,” she raised a hand pointing towards the mountains in the distance.

Brittany stood up from her seat in her desk chair looking out towards where Sarah pointed. “The Blue Ridge Mountains?” A brow furrowed as she was unsure if could get her there in a timely fashion. “Is it near the mountains or on one of the tops over there?”
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24 Nov 2016 10:06 #51384 by fats
Replied by fats on topic A Silver Shock
very cool

Fats
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04 Dec 2016 00:45 #51521 by Woodclaw
Replied by Woodclaw on topic A Silver Shock
I finally got over reading this as well.
The story is evolving, although at a much quicker pace than I expected. Sarah barely had time to see this world and she's already jumping into action.

(formerly Anon, still Librarian)

"What is the point of having free will if one cannot occasionally spit in the eye of destiny?" ("Gentleman" John Marcone)
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11 Dec 2016 14:39 #51669 by sarahsilver
Replied by sarahsilver on topic A Silver Shock

Woodclaw wrote: I finally got over reading this as well.
The story is evolving, although at a much quicker pace than I expected. Sarah barely had time to see this world and she's already jumping into action.


I suppose you are right. And that is a valid criticism, though I sort of envisioned that Sarah's and Kareen's arrival would unexpected, and quite sudden. Considering how close that Kareen was to using the Empyrean Orb for herself, I figured she would want to use it despite it's power divided now. Sarah has a choice to make, and if she doesn't Kareen could very well take all that power for herself. If it is rushed, I would say it is not without reason.

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11 Dec 2016 17:48 #51672 by Woodclaw
Replied by Woodclaw on topic A Silver Shock

sarahsilver wrote:

Woodclaw wrote: I finally got over reading this as well.
The story is evolving, although at a much quicker pace than I expected. Sarah barely had time to see this world and she's already jumping into action.


I suppose you are right. And that is a valid criticism, though I sort of envisioned that Sarah's and Kareen's arrival would unexpected, and quite sudden. Considering how close that Kareen was to using the Empyrean Orb for herself, I figured she would want to use it despite it's power divided now. Sarah has a choice to make, and if she doesn't Kareen could very well take all that power for herself. If it is rushed, I would say it is not without reason.


That makes sense, although I figured for a careful planner -- I don't think she could get close to the orb in the first place otherwise -- so it seemed strange that she went all out from the start.

(formerly Anon, still Librarian)

"What is the point of having free will if one cannot occasionally spit in the eye of destiny?" ("Gentleman" John Marcone)
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18 Apr 2019 02:05 - 18 Apr 2019 02:07 #63751 by sarahsilver
Replied by sarahsilver on topic A Silver Shock
So, for some many thought that this thread a bit dead. And that was until my muse decided to reappear...so I present to you another chunk that I just finished writing. Any thoughts, criticisms, or encouragement is welcome! I sort of end it on a cliffhanger moment for the time being. You

Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]
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Last edit: 18 Apr 2019 02:07 by sarahsilver. Reason: Paragraph adjustments
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