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The LaPorte Caves - Revised

08 Nov 2019 16:10 #65527 by circes_cup
The LaPorte Caves - Revised was created by circes_cup
I have begun posting the revision of LPC.  This week’s installment — the Prologue through Chapter 4 —is about 28,000 words.  Future installments will be closer to 5,000 words.
For those of you that have read this story before, changes to the first part of the story are generally small in scope: trying to achieve better flow of the story and getting some key logistics right.  More fundamental changes begin in Chapter 8.
Therefore, for all but the truly devoted, these first chapters will feel almost identical to the previous version.  For those few of you who did become engrossed in the original, you will find that the changes in the first seven chapters more interesting, as they have a big impact on how thing play out later.
Whether or not you’ve seen the story before, I hope you enjoy it!
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08 Nov 2019 16:25 #65529 by ballen
Replied by ballen on topic The LaPorte Caves - Revised
BOOM!!!

Christmas came early.  So great to have you back.  Your commitment to keeping your nose to the grindstone, persevere and finish the job is truly admirable.  Thanks my friend.  I cannot wait to dig in!
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08 Nov 2019 17:17 - 08 Nov 2019 17:19 #65531 by Monty
Replied by Monty on topic The LaPorte Caves - Revised
Great News to make a Good Friday, Circes!
Last edit: 08 Nov 2019 17:19 by Monty.
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09 Nov 2019 20:00 #65539 by jnw550
Replied by jnw550 on topic The LaPorte Caves - Revised
I’m confused.  Have they been posted yet?

Everyone wants to be a beast, until it's time to do what real beasts do.

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09 Nov 2019 20:59 #65540 by circes_cup
Replied by circes_cup on topic The LaPorte Caves - Revised
They’ve been submitted.  When they get posted is up to the admins. 
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09 Nov 2019 23:32 #65541 by Woodclaw
Replied by Woodclaw on topic The LaPorte Caves - Revised

jnw550 wrote: I’m confused.  Have they been posted yet?


Incoming in 28 minutes right now...

(formerly Anon, still Librarian)

"What is the point of having free will if one cannot occasionally spit in the eye of destiny?" ("Gentleman" John Marcone)
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10 Nov 2019 19:39 - 11 Nov 2019 00:25 #65550 by jnw550
Replied by jnw550 on topic The LaPorte Caves - Revised
Already read through, it is one of my favorites after all.  The differences are subtle, but if you paid attention to the first go around, you’ll spot them.  Seeing the changes, I can understand why and that means we’re in for a ride!

i know this story isn’t centered around power and feats, but I’m curious to see if Julia will ever discover her limits?  I’m not a numbers guy, but I do like to see just how powerful a character is.  

Edit:  Better yet, if I know now it’ll ruin it.  I’d  rather be shown.

Everyone wants to be a beast, until it's time to do what real beasts do.
Last edit: 11 Nov 2019 00:25 by jnw550.
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11 Nov 2019 04:01 #65567 by Pepper
Replied by Pepper on topic The LaPorte Caves - Revised

jnw550 wrote: Already read through, it is one of my favorites after all.  The differences are subtle, but if you paid attention to the first go around, you’ll spot them.  Seeing the changes, I can understand why and that means we’re in for a ride!

I only really noticed one difference; curious, of course, what circes will do with it. There were changes I was expecting which didn't happen, and for which I'm grateful.

Looking forward to the next installment already.
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11 Nov 2019 04:20 #65568 by jnw550
Replied by jnw550 on topic The LaPorte Caves - Revised
I didn’t read them side by side, so I may be remembering incorrectly.  Like you, Im curious as well.

Everyone wants to be a beast, until it's time to do what real beasts do.
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12 Nov 2019 18:08 #65602 by smoki07
Replied by smoki07 on topic The LaPorte Caves - Revised
Glad to see the revised version. Wonder what it will give! 
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17 Nov 2019 11:45 #65643 by circes_cup
Replied by circes_cup on topic The LaPorte Caves - Revised
Thanks everyone for the support!  

I’m taking a little while to post 1-4 on ALove, and then should be ready to post Ch 5 on both platforms.
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17 Nov 2019 17:31 #65646 by Monty
Replied by Monty on topic The LaPorte Caves - Revised
Great Work Circes
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25 Nov 2019 02:21 - 25 Nov 2019 02:22 #65703 by ballen
Replied by ballen on topic The LaPorte Caves - Revised

circes_cup wrote: Thanks everyone for the support!  

I’m taking a little while to post 1-4 on ALove, and then should be ready to post Ch 5 on both platforms.

Looks like Ch. 4 is up on ALove ... Awesome.  Can't wait for the next installments!   
Last edit: 25 Nov 2019 02:22 by ballen.
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30 Nov 2019 11:15 #65746 by circes_cup
Replied by circes_cup on topic The LaPorte Caves - Revised
Thanks guys!   I believe 5-6 will be part of the weekly story posting this week.
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30 Nov 2019 13:54 - 30 Nov 2019 14:34 #65748 by Monty
Replied by Monty on topic The LaPorte Caves - Revised
Hi Circes. I'll try pm you with an idea with your great re-work. I don't want to be hitting any potential spoilers here!
Last edit: 30 Nov 2019 14:34 by Monty.

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04 Dec 2019 01:37 #65779 by BrokenIron
Replied by BrokenIron on topic The LaPorte Caves - Revised
I love the little changes I see so far.  They are not as minor as you suggested.  They give the story more depth and open up more avenues for the plot.

Really, great!

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04 Dec 2019 07:39 #65783 by circes_cup
Replied by circes_cup on topic The LaPorte Caves - Revised

BrokenIron wrote: I love the little changes I see so far.  They are not as minor as you suggested.  They give the story more depth and open up more avenues for the plot.


That’s great!  I hadn’t been sure about whether the early changes would be visible to anyone, but glad that you are seeing them and liking them!
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08 Dec 2019 16:23 - 08 Dec 2019 16:27 #65818 by Pepper
Replied by Pepper on topic The LaPorte Caves - Revised
I thought I knew where the original version of the story was going, but I'll never know. Just when I think I have a sense of where the new version is going, it seems to shift. In the previous chapter, Julia was agreeing with Howard how wrong it was to claim a man as a possession, and that they'd be a team looking for the way home. At the end of chapter 7 she starts thinking that all the other men there are happy and that Howard should be, too. At the beginning of the chapter, she plans to go swimming with Ruth before exploring the caves; by the end she's thanking Ruth for talking her out of spending the day in the caves.

That's not meant as a criticism. I think it just paints Julia as a character who wants to please whoever she happens to be with at a given moment. It also has the effect of keeping a fair amount of suspense in the story.
Last edit: 08 Dec 2019 16:27 by Pepper. Reason: slight factual correction

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08 Dec 2019 18:57 - 08 Dec 2019 18:58 #65821 by circes_cup
Replied by circes_cup on topic The LaPorte Caves - Revised

Pepper wrote: I thought I knew where the original version of the story was going, but I'll never know. Just when I think I have a sense of where the new version is going, it seems to shift. In the previous chapter, Julia was agreeing with Howard how wrong it was to claim a man as a possession, and that they'd be a team looking for the way home. At the end of chapter 7 she starts thinking that all the other men there are happy and that Howard should be, too. At the beginning of the chapter, she plans to go swimming with Ruth before exploring the caves; by the end she's thanking Ruth for talking her out of spending the day in the caves.

That's not meant as a criticism. I think it just paints Julia as a character who wants to please whoever she happens to be with at a given moment. It also has the effect of keeping a fair amount of suspense in the story.


Thanks Pepper!  In my head, I had pictureed her less as someone who is ingratiating and more as someone who is torn between what she is supposed to want and what she actually does want.  And I viewed the physical power she experiences as the facilitator for this tension — the body leading the mind to consinder a life she had previously viewed as objectionable.  To the degree that doesn’t come though, it’s the fault of the writer and not the reader!
Last edit: 08 Dec 2019 18:58 by circes_cup.
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08 Dec 2019 20:30 #65822 by Woodclaw
Replied by Woodclaw on topic The LaPorte Caves - Revised

circes_cup wrote: Thanks Pepper!  In my head, I had pictureed her less as someone who is ingratiating and more as someone who is torn between what she is supposed to want and what she actually does want.  And I viewed the physical power she experiences as the facilitator for this tension — the body leading the mind to consinder a life she had previously viewed as objectionable.  To the degree that doesn’t come though, it’s the fault of the writer and not the reader!


Maybe I'm projecting here, but in my mind Julia is a person that put very little faith in herself and ended up living by trying to make others happy. While this might sound like a good thing, being completely selfless, unable to choose one part over another because you just want everyone else to be happy... That's a terrible thing and often a stmptom of depression. I've fought with thing kind of problems for years, possibly a decade, and they still creep up every now and then.
I think that Julia is experiencing a heavy dissociation: she is used to be a follower, someone who just tag-along, not someone who is in charge. Unfortunately her new mutated body is sending all kinds of weird signals to her brain. Being nourished is like a second puberty for her, with a lor of attached complications.

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"What is the point of having free will if one cannot occasionally spit in the eye of destiny?" ("Gentleman" John Marcone)
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