Unfinished Story - Grotesque - "October Challenge"

I recently challenged myself to concentrate on only one story for a month. The result was 56 pages of an incomplete story. The theme was horror-based and, being October aka Halloween, that theme just naturally fit. Being an origin story, I'll warn readers right now that there's no "superheroine"-type action but at least you get the "origin" part of the "origin" story.

I'm horrible with titles and used "Grotesque" as the title.

Here are the usual parameters:

** VIOLENCE : Some, not a lot. Maybe even "torture" would be a better description although not explicit or anything of that type.
** NUDITY : Yes, although it's not explicit. I will warn you right now that, even though those involved are in high school, I tried to make it clear that they are legal age because no one enjoys being hauled away in handcuffs (least of all me).
** SEX : Nope.
** OBSCENITIES : Yes. Maybe on the level of an old-styled PG-13 film (a lite modern-day R-rated film?). Nobody talks like a drunken sailor, though. Scattered but not multiple.
** ADULT THEMES : Kind of. There is some intensity, some things that a typical 15-year old might not fully "get." That's not a knock against them; It's just an indication that, as you get older in life, you experience more types of life events and truly appreciate their gravity.

As said before, there is a horror theme to this and, by extension, a "religious" theme. I don't think that it's severe to any degree but everyone is different so "buyer beware."

I don't know if I'll continue on with this story; It was a fun challenge that was slightly (read: significantly) marred by a lot of Real Life(tm) situations that sort of got in the way with how much I could have written. There are typos and small grammatical mistakes that I should probably correct (because one pass is never enough to find them all). Part of the challenge was to not go back and re-write anything significant; I know myself too well and part of the reason why I don't complete a lot of the fiction that I write is because I'm constantly re-reading my works and going, "No, I don't need that character; Those two other characters can be combined; Why the heck is the main character bald (thin, Asian, blind, poor, fill in your favorite descriptor here) again? We have to get rid of that; That sentence sucks; I need to clarify that section; What drugs were I on when I wrote that? That has to go; Oh, I could greatly expand that section..." And on and on and on. I did go back throughout the month and correct ultra-obvious grammar & typo stuff but I never went back and did the usual "This character must go & this scene needs to be added and why didn't this character do this instead of that" stuff.

Anyway, have fun with it. Even re-reading it one more time has given me a little incentive to go back and at least add enough so that the superheroine is, you know, a superheroine in the story...

Comments, concernsm critiques, compliments are always welcome. Enjoy.