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file A Day in the Military Chapter IV

17 Jun 2013 20:29 - 17 Jun 2013 20:46 #31983 by njae
A Day in the Military Chapter IV was created by njae
Part IV is now up, concluding the Day in the Military and making the series worthy of an own Category in our Series Library

New Deviantart, setup in progress
njae2.deviantart.com/
Last edit: 17 Jun 2013 20:46 by njae.
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17 Jun 2013 21:55 #31984 by Camille Jones
Replied by Camille Jones on topic A Day in the Military Chapter IV
A reference of the outfit:

You'd think that superspeed would make me more punctual, huh?

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17 Jun 2013 22:27 #31985 by SHTL
Replied by SHTL on topic A Day in the Military Chapter IV
thank yu Camille, great story ending !

Super human teen girl, super strong and unbreakable, with very bad attitude :)
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18 Jun 2013 04:01 #31988 by ong76win2
Replied by ong76win2 on topic A Day in the Military Chapter IV
Thank you for the Chapter 4 of A Day In The Military. Great story. What will happen next? Hmmmm.....

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18 Jun 2013 20:43 #31999 by Camille Jones
Replied by Camille Jones on topic A Day in the Military Chapter IV
That will be all written after I finish Origins. I tend to travel back and visit on some things I have yet to touch up/re-work before I proceed into the future.

But I appreciate the feedback so far :) Any other feedback is welcomed, whether you like it or somethings I should work on better. Also, any questions are welcomed too!

You'd think that superspeed would make me more punctual, huh?

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18 Jun 2013 21:37 #32000 by castor
Replied by castor on topic A Day in the Military Chapter IV
Theres a nice optimism to the story. Thats the thing that struck me. You do a good job of creating a character thats feels lived in and realistic while still suggesting a kind of innocence and joy to the world.

Beyond any of the super feats kind of stuff, that whats strike me about it

It was intresting to compare it to "fragile bindings" which has a similar plotline, but is a fairly depressing story about a character with infinite power who is clearly doomed and misserable at it. Its also a good story in its own way but the contrast is stark.


keep at it is what i say:)
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