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Spring Workshop is now on

11 Aug 2013 16:59 #32628 by fats
Spring Workshop is now on was created by fats
Hi all,

It's that time again for another new workshop, the theme of this workshop was "Family Dynamics" it was an interesting topic to say the least, but one that a few members attacked with relish. Five members submitted a story for this workshop those being:-

  • Argonaut
  • Castor
  • DKC
  • GeekSeven
  • Njae

Each attacked the theme in a different way, one went with a mother/son dynamic another went with siblings, others went in a different route altogether. What I can say with my reading of them is that they all have embraced the theme and produced some excellent stories.

There is something you should all know argonaut's story only came to me via an email I recovered this morning technically it was outside the limit, but with my accident delaying the start of the workshop and the fact that we only had a few posts I agreed to include it, the other point about the story is that it came with pictures I stripped out the pictures out the story for size reasons the original file was over 40Mb in size, but I ran the file through some software and created a PDF file that is available to download from the site link here , that is under 800Kb in size, so feel free to either read it in the library or download it from the site.

I'm going to set a two week deadline on the voting for the workshop so the closing date for votes will be midnight (UK time) 25th August 2013.

So get reading and get voting.

Fats

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11 Aug 2013 20:38 #32630 by Woodclaw
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fats wrote: There is something you should all know argonaut's story only came to me via an email I recovered this morning technically it was outside the limit, but with my accident delaying the start of the workshop and the fact that we only had a few posts I agreed to include it, the other point about the story is that it came with pictures I stripped out the pictures out the story for size reasons the original file was over 40Mb in size, but I ran the file through some software and created a PDF file that is available to download from the site link here , that is under 800Kb in size, so feel free to either read it in the library or download it from the site.


Argo, I'll promise, as soon as I have a stable connection back I'll work out the pictures to make them workable.
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11 Aug 2013 22:46 - 11 Aug 2013 22:57 #32631 by Dru1076
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My entry, which I sent in with Cowboys and Superbabes, was called Joe's Dilema. Not that it matters now, but I did try to enter the workshop...a month ago. I guess Joe got lost...he's not exactly the sober type. It wasn't going to win, but I did want to be involved. Bugger. Too late to do anything about it now....

If anyone wants to read it, it will be on my bookshelf at Diana's in the next few days...

:(
Last edit: 11 Aug 2013 22:57 by Dru1076.

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11 Aug 2013 23:26 #32633 by Woodclaw
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Dru1076 wrote: My entry, which I sent in with Cowboys and Superbabes, was called Joe's Dilema. Not that it matters now, but I did try to enter the workshop...a month ago. I guess Joe got lost...he's not exactly the sober type. It wasn't going to win, but I did want to be involved. Bugger. Too late to do anything about it now....

If anyone wants to read it, it will be on my bookshelf at Diana's in the next few days...

:(


[facepalm]

I'm sorry Dru, I swear the upload never actually appeared in the back end of the site. If you can contact Fats and send him a copy of the file, maybe he can fix this.

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11 Aug 2013 23:52 #32634 by Dru1076
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That's cool man. It wasn't going to be a winner anyways, short as it is, and the poll is all set up now. Fats, I think, has probably enough to worry about right now...there's always next time, and people can still read the story.

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12 Aug 2013 03:47 #32635 by argonaut
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fats wrote:
There is something you should all know argonaut's story only came to me via an email I recovered this morning technically it was outside the limit, but with my accident delaying the start of the workshop and the fact that we only had a few posts I agreed to include it, the other point about the story is that it came with pictures I stripped out the pictures out the story for size reasons the original file was over 40Mb in size, but I ran the file through some software and created a PDF file that is available to download from the site link here , that is under 800Kb in size, so feel free to either read it in the library or download it from the site.


Fats, thanks for that. And karma.

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12 Aug 2013 03:52 #32637 by argonaut
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Anon wrote: Argo, I'll promise, as soon as I have a stable connection back I'll work out the pictures to make them workable.


Thanks, Anon, but you shouldn't bother. Maybe instead you could insert something like this under my byline: "To read an illustrated version of the story, go here" -- with a link to the pdf file Fats created.

Karma for you, too!

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12 Aug 2013 03:59 #32638 by argonaut
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I've read three of the four entries so far (not counting my own) and I am really impressed. The theme seems to have brought out the best in the authors. The characters are sympathetic, their interactions believable. I'll try to post feedback for the individual stories over the next few days, but for now I just want to say to the authors: Well done!

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12 Aug 2013 08:03 - 12 Aug 2013 15:55 #32639 by Dru1076
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Okay...I've mailed Joe's Dilemma to Diana, so it'll be up on my bookshelf there the next time the site is updated. I'm disapointed that no-one can vote for it, but hey, I'll get over it. If you do read it, and enjoy it, maybe you can give a brother some karma instead...that way I'll have a chance to find out how badly I fared compared to those who are in the running.

As we say down-under: Bugger.

But there's another Aussie saying: She'll be right.

....Come to think of it, asking for karma's probably a bit rich...it's not very long....
Last edit: 12 Aug 2013 15:55 by Dru1076. Reason: Noobness

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12 Aug 2013 14:27 #32641 by Camille Jones
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All of these stories are top-notch. I'll give my review and critique soon but I must say I'm thoroughly impressed overall.

You'd think that superspeed would make me more punctual, huh?

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12 Aug 2013 18:12 #32645 by smoki07
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I don't know why people voted so less for the sujani by argonaut !!! I don't say that bcz I voted for it but it seems weird

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12 Aug 2013 18:18 #32646 by njae
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smoki07 wrote: I don't know why people voted so less for the sujani by argonaut !!! I don't say that bcz I voted for it but it seems weird


Not following you there, if you're talking about Supanji then it wasn't written by Argonaut...

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12 Aug 2013 22:14 #32649 by smoki07
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njae wrote:

smoki07 wrote: I don't know why people voted so less for the sujani by argonaut !!! I don't say that bcz I voted for it but it seems weird


Not following you there, if you're talking about Supanji then it wasn't written by Argonaut...


My mistake sorry but i'm happy that story is leading in the poll

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12 Aug 2013 22:58 #32652 by argonaut
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So that's how my entry got a vote. :laugh:

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12 Aug 2013 23:28 #32653 by sgfan05
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Really have enjoyed the Workshop stories. Great work everyone on the Family Dynamics Angle. My favorites are GeekSeven's and
Njae's stories. Finding Herself was nice and I'd like to see more of that super family in the future. Geek's Sisters was another universe I'd like to see again. Really enjoyed it and the solution at the end.

Excellent Workshop!

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13 Aug 2013 02:44 #32655 by Dru1076
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Well, I've read them all and voted. Good job by all, making it a difficult decision. It's nice to see that every entry so far has recieved a vote, but it looks like we have a clear leader already. It might be a bit early to call, but it looks like Dkc has this one in the bag.

If my story had made the list there would have been six entries. Quite a successful workshop, I think.

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13 Aug 2013 16:49 #32659 by Woodclaw
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I've given the story the cursory first read and all I can say is that I'm really sorry of not being able to participate this workshop. I'll post the detailed feedback as soon as I can.

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14 Aug 2013 16:03 #32664 by argonaut
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I'll start with GeekSeven's story "Two Sisters":

This was an excellent story in every respect. Clear, smooth prose (always a plus for me) and natural-sounding dialogue. A perfect fit for the workshop theme: The relationship between the two sisters and (indirectly) their different relationships with their father came through clearly and believably. You crafted a mystery with an unexpected yet plausible solution (something new to our Library, I think), and the idea of having the sisters switch roles for a year was a clever and satisfying way to wrap up the story. (And I like how you use throwaway references to establish a continuity without overburdening your story with exposition.) One of your best -- and that's saying something. Bravo!
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15 Aug 2013 14:21 #32680 by argonaut
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Moving on to "Finding Herself," by Njae:

Another impressive story that "embraces" the workshop theme (as Fats put it). A believable and sympathetic family of supers dealing with the same issues as many regular families. Cambria's envy of her accomplished sister (who, unlike Cambria, is entirely comfortable in her own skin) comes through clearly, as does her annoyance at what she sees as the unreasonable restrictions her parents put on her. But we also see that these are people who love and support one another. Cambria's feelings for Cedric, though complicated by the fact that she's super, are those of any other girl her age towards the boy she likes. The ending is sweet and happy without being sappy. Offhand, I can't think of another story where the super characters are so down-to-earth and likeable. Really well done.

I'd welcome a follow-up focusing on Nora.
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15 Aug 2013 15:03 #32682 by argonaut
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... and "The Jackyl," by Castor:

Hmmm ... a superwoman story with no super action? Still, a well-crafted story with what might be the most original use of the workshop theme: a slice-of-life vignette (practically a "short") about a toddler's visit to Disneyland with his mother, who happens to be a super-powered-mercenary-turned-thief-for-hire. Nice contrast between the toddler's innocent pleasure in his excursion and the mother's somber musings on the morally conflicted life she's led, and her apprehension about the day her son will learn of it. Like the stories by GeekSeven and Njae, this goes into some interesting new territory for our genre.

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15 Aug 2013 21:56 #32685 by njae
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argonaut wrote: Moving on to "Finding Herself," by Njae:

Another impressive story that "embraces" the workshop theme (as Fats put it). A believable and sympathetic family of supers dealing with the same issues as many regular families. Cambria's envy of her accomplished sister (who, unlike Cambria, is entirely comfortable in her own skin) comes through clearly, as does her annoyance at what she sees as the unreasonable restrictions her parents put on her. But we also see that these are people who love and support one another. Cambria's feelings for Cedric, though complicated by the fact that she's super, are those of any other girl her age towards the boy she likes. The ending is sweet and happy without being sappy. Offhand, I can't think of another story where the super characters are so down-to-earth and likeable. Really well done.

I'd welcome a follow-up focusing on Nora.


Thanks for the comment. As a matter of fact, the stories about the twins I had in mind, are more fleshed-out than the story about Cambria, but that's another story. The main problems have already been hinted in this story, though. On the other hand, I'm not sure if being "entirely comfortable in her own skin" is a valid description of Nora who - as Cambria put it - "hasn't seen her true mirror image in years." Truth is they are more alike than any of them would admit.

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16 Aug 2013 04:37 #32687 by castor
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argonaut wrote: ... and "The Jackyl," by Castor:

Hmmm ... a superwoman story with no super action? Still, a well-crafted story with what might be the most original use of the workshop theme: a slice-of-life vignette (practically a "short") about a toddler's visit to Disneyland with his mother, who happens to be a super-powered-mercenary-turned-thief-for-hire. Nice contrast between the toddler's innocent pleasure in his excursion and the mother's somber musings on the morally conflicted life she's led, and her apprehension about the day her son will learn of it. Like the stories by GeekSeven and Njae, this goes into some interesting new territory for our genre.



Thanks for the comment

to explain my story.

1. This is the first story i wrote for the site and the first short superheroine story i ever completed. To be honest my hang up was i had a hard time as a writer with action and sex-so well i left it out. After this i wrote Starhawk to challenge myself on that-and well that is all sex and violence.

2. I wrote the story thinking there was a 1000 word limit-cause i was new and inexperienced. I later learned there wasn't- which was good as the story was 1160 words.

3. I later thought about expanding on it-and while i did several edits over the last months and had dru have a look over it-well i really didn't add anything. The story is complete to itself. It is a vignette, but i don't fault it for it-even as a writer i do sex and violence all the time it didn't fit-its a story about disneyland and you can't do that in disneyland while still having it be disneyland.

4. The idea itself isn't that original, -there plenty of storys in comics about a hero whose mom or dad is an evil supervillian, usually when they are in conflict. Of course the things about mothers is that everyone has them, and everyone loves them and loves them completly at least at one point. I thought that point would be an intresting place to shine a little light.

5. I Wrote Phoniex at the Ashes which is also about family conflict as a second story for the contest and thought about submitting that-i stayed with this one-well becuse it is my first story and however you may think about it-and it is rough(and some of you think i am still rough), i think it informs a lot of who Castor is as a writer. I found what i could do-i could take this genre and write a character study. I am very pleased with what the other writers did to-they each also found a lot to do with the genre.

6. Of course after i did both i also started the Mazing girl Series, which is arguably similar to this-Super finder self in Southern California Location stuff happens(i just wrote a story about Mazing at Universal Studios the other leading theme park). Very diffrent character-but similar a study of just a woman and how she thinks of the world. Of course those are comedy this is a drama-but well maybe its fatigue. But yeah Jackyl is direct inspiration to Tales.

7. I have writen a lot for the site-and i will say this without this contest, no matter how many votes i get i probabbly wouldn't have done this and i feel glad for it existing and thanks everyone read it any any of my stories. I am going to keep working now.
Castor

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17 Aug 2013 12:52 #32700 by Woodclaw
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Okay these are my first impressions.

Finding Herself by Njae [beta alert]

This story is one that I'm particularly biased about, since I've pretty much seen its entire painful development. Without going into details, let just say that Njae's motivation hit rock bottom a few months back and so this story was really at risk of never being written. This makes me incredibly happyt of seeing it written and published.
Overall I think it's a well developed story with a good outline of the main characters and a very nice, relaxed pace, which really convey the sense of family being the central element rather than superpowered action. The narration is fluid, although I still think that a little bit more details here and there would have made things pop out even more. What really sold this story to me is characterization. Maybe my judgement here is biased since I know a bit more of the characters background, but I really like how each member of the family comes out as different, but with enough common details to make the a coherent picture.
There is an unfortunate drawback to this story: being part of an ongoing narrative. This forced Njae to make some adjustments and withdraw some informations that, in my opinion, hindered the story and made some bits a little unclear perhaps.
Even so I think that this is a solid piece that deserve some real credit.


Jackyl by Castor

If I have to single out one thing I like about Castor is how inventive he is. While Jackyl might be unappealing for many reasons, it's real kicker is the unusual angle. In the mainstream media linked to our stomping ground (comic books), it's very rare to see things from the villain perspective and it's even rarer to see family through the eyes of a villain (as far as I know Mark Gruenwald was the only author who even considered this angle in a prolonged narrative). Castor took these ideas and squeezed them in a very compact and interesting story.
Personally, I have issues with the stream of conscience style of narration. It's fitting, but sometimes makes the story hard to read for me. On the other hand I think that delivering it in any other style would have make the story a lot less impressive as a read.


Sibling Rivalry by Argo

Over the last years, Argo seem to have specialized in a series of parodies of old cartoons, which is both a perk and a flaw in my eyes. The perk is can play on the nostalgia factor and makes easier to create the contest. The flaw, it can easy turn into a boomerang if the audience doesn't like the original material.
This is the case for me. I watched a bit of Space Ghost when I was a kid, but it never really clicked with me, so I started with rather low expectations. Lucky for me Argo rather quickly proved me wrong, producing a quite enjoyable story, that plays on one of the most classic theme of family stories (and also includes some bits that would have never got on screen).
The overall story works. The narration proceed with a pace appropriate to the context and the source material.
The descriptions are a bit scarce in a couple of moments, but Argo "cheated" providing us with the relative pictures. The characterization is a bit minimal but, as I said before, it's one of the perks of working with a known character/franchise.
In general this story didn't do anything "wrong", yet I have one big negative: like the original Space Ghost show, it doesn't make me want to go back for more. A lot of Argo's other parodies (like Mightora) left me with a craving for a little more of them, this one not so much. I think that depends from the fact that both the interaction between the characters and the action were very basic. While our kind of fiction tend to be very trope-heavy, this story was perhaps a tad too much for my own tastes.


SupanJi by DKC

First a bit of confession: until I arrive at the first "challenge card" scene, I really didn't get what "SupanJi" meant or what the inspiration from this story came from. DKC continues to deliver bits of the workings of Aleesha across the multiverse. Originally I wasn't too keen on this gimmick, but it's a pleasure to be proven wrong. Compared to the previous installments this one offers a lot more in terms of interactions. Like in many DKC's work the kinky factor is pretty high, as well as the superpowered action, which are both good things. I think that the key point of this story is the variety it offers: many characters, many situations, a ton of action and a couple of very interesting moments.
The narration is a bit problematic at times, especially in some of the most crowded scenes, where a bit more of context might have helped smoothing things out. At the same time the fight scenes are very hit or miss for me: I really liked the Hulk's one and the Joker's one (in spite of one of the most visually disturbing moments of the story), not so much the rest. I won't hold this as a negative since I know how hard is to visualize a good fighting scene involving supowers (professional authors often "forget" bits of their character abilities in order to make the fight more epic).
Still, there's one little bit that keep bugging me. Maybe I haven't read the story well enough, but I really can't get over of how flat some of the characters feel to me. Veronica is probably the worst offender, she really doesn't have any personality except the basic "I'm a bitch" elements. While I'm far from opposed to using very bare-bones characters, not digging a little deeper in this angle with a story based on family dynamics and interactions is a major shot against the story.
As I said variety is the strong point of this story and it makes a quite impressive read, but I would have like a little more depth here and there, even at the expense of some of the action.


Two Sisters by G7

More than any other entry in this workshop Two Sisters left me with very ambivalent feelings.
G7 choose a rather difficult subject to deal with: the possible consequences of a superhuman old age. We're often too used at thinking that supers will age rather nicely, but the truth is that each option is equally valid. The few bits we got of the old man madness are painfully real to me (it echoes my own grandmother's demise about 10 years ago and the current condition of one of my best friend's grandmother), which is a definite plus.
The narration is very clean and easy to read, although a bit bare-bone in some points. We hardly got any detail about the context in some scenes, in a sense it reminded me of some theater pieces where all the action happens between two characters in a non-descript location.
What I can't get over is how clean cut the two sisters are. Eveything given and considered they doesn't seem to share any common personality trait, which is a bit strange to me since they aren't just sisters, but also the only two superpowered beings on the planet. I kind of expected them to have a lot in common, instead they look like polar opposites, almost to the point of incomunicability.
This is a great story that hits a rather personal cord in me, I like it, but I'm also a bit scared of it.
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17 Aug 2013 16:41 #32705 by njae
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Anon wrote: Okay these are my first impressions.

Finding Herself by Njae [beta alert]

This story is one that I'm particularly biased about, since I've pretty much seen its entire painful development. Without going into details, let just say that Njae's motivation hit rock bottom a few months back and so this story was really at risk of never being written. This makes me incredibly happyt of seeing it written and published...


Thanks for the feedback, but did you really have to bring that part up? I doubt anybody wants to hear that story.

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17 Aug 2013 16:47 #32706 by Woodclaw
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njae wrote:

Anon wrote: Okay these are my first impressions.

Finding Herself by Njae [beta alert]

This story is one that I'm particularly biased about, since I've pretty much seen its entire painful development. Without going into details, let just say that Njae's motivation hit rock bottom a few months back and so this story was really at risk of never being written. This makes me incredibly happyt of seeing it written and published...


Thanks for the feedback, but did you really have to bring that part up? I doubt anybody wants to hear that story.


Well I had to explain why my judgement is biased :P
I'm sorry if I hit a bad cord for you.

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