Amount:

file Halloween workshop - Disscussion Thread

01 Nov 2016 09:10 #50975 by fats
Hi all,

here you can discuss the Halloween workshop, if you are going to post spoilers please use the spoiler tag.

Fats
The following user(s) said Thank You: AuGoose

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • fats
  • fats's Avatar Topic Author
  • Online
  • SWM - Administrator
  • SWM - Administrator
More
01 Nov 2016 09:52 #50976 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic Halloween workshop - Disscussion Thread
Eight??! It really is kid in a candy store time :). I don't have a lot of history with the site to make comparisons, but it seems like the turn out's been really strong over the last year.

I'm about 3/4 done reading through this sack full of treats. Picking which one to vote for is not going to be trivial. A ton of charm and humor along with the scary and macabre.
The following user(s) said Thank You: thedoc9

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
01 Nov 2016 12:16 #50977 by TwiceOnThursdays
Replied by TwiceOnThursdays on topic Halloween workshop - Disscussion Thread
I'm halfway through the list and so far I'm loving every entry.

Voting is going to be hard.

I also love the different tones, writing styles, and subject matter. "kid in the candy store time" indeed.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • TwiceOnThursdays
  • TwiceOnThursdays's Avatar
  • Online
  • Uberposter
  • Uberposter
More
01 Nov 2016 13:34 #50978 by inactive
Replied by inactive on topic Halloween workshop - Disscussion Thread
I have to admit I was concerned about turnout for this workshop, which gave me an extra push in the last week when I thought I would have to bail.

I'm very happy to see 8 entries. I'm about 2/3 through and the quality is consistently high, which is great.

I think this has been one of the best workshops we've had. Is that in spite of, or because of, the shorter time frame? It seemed like nobody talked about it much, but folks were obviously writing away in the background.

Maybe it's just that we all love Halloween.

- GeekSeven

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
01 Nov 2016 14:48 #50980 by lfan
Replied by lfan on topic Halloween workshop - Disscussion Thread
Thanks for all the participants! Only through a few of them so far but really enjoying the variety and depth of the entries.

ElF

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • lfan
  • lfan's Avatar
  • Away
  • SWM - Administrator
  • SWM - Administrator
More
02 Nov 2016 01:43 #50986 by Agent00Soul
Replied by Agent00Soul on topic Halloween workshop - Disscussion Thread
Sorry for the stupid question, but where do we vote?

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
02 Nov 2016 03:08 #50988 by ace191
Replied by ace191 on topic Halloween workshop - Disscussion Thread
I read all 8 last night while waiting for the 2 trick or treaters that showed up. I have got to say that TheDoc9 had a tremendus first outting with his story.
I am envious of Lfan's clever plot line but it is the vivid descriptions that I really enjoyed the most. I wish I could write like that.

I would like to thank all the other authors who participated. It was actually something very special to be reading all those stories on All Hallows' eve.
I hope this becomes a yearly tradition.
The following user(s) said Thank You: lfan, Sarge395, thedoc9, AuGoose

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
02 Nov 2016 08:06 #50996 by Woodclaw
Replied by Woodclaw on topic Halloween workshop - Disscussion Thread

Agent00Soul wrote: Sorry for the stupid question, but where do we vote?


Fats just set up another thread for the voting .

(formerly Anon, still Librarian)

"What is the point of having free will if one cannot occasionally spit in the eye of destiny?" ("Gentleman" John Marcone)
The following user(s) said Thank You: thedoc9, Agent00Soul

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • Woodclaw
  • Woodclaw's Avatar
  • Away
  • Librarian
  • Librarian
More
02 Nov 2016 21:04 - 02 Nov 2016 21:06 #51009 by Monty
Replied by Monty on topic Halloween workshop - Disscussion Thread
I was torn between two, but I voted for the one that I usually wouldn't like in the tv/movie genre, the fl, but thought it worked well in the story.

Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]
Last edit: 02 Nov 2016 21:06 by Monty.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
03 Nov 2016 13:43 #51030 by lfan
Replied by lfan on topic Halloween workshop - Disscussion Thread
My apologies for my entry which was riddled with typos and a few things that were rather rushed. I'll post a much tighter v2 after voting concludes. Thanks to AuGoose for his editorial services and suggestions!

ElF

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • lfan
  • lfan's Avatar
  • Away
  • SWM - Administrator
  • SWM - Administrator
More
03 Nov 2016 16:21 #51033 by TwiceOnThursdays
Replied by TwiceOnThursdays on topic Halloween workshop - Disscussion Thread

lfan wrote: My apologies for my entry which was riddled with typos and a few things that were rather rushed. I'll post a much tighter v2 after voting concludes. Thanks to AuGoose for his editorial services and suggestions!

ElF


I don't think you have anything to apologize for.

Written story > perfectly grammar/spell checked empty text file.

Plus your story rocked.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • TwiceOnThursdays
  • TwiceOnThursdays's Avatar
  • Online
  • Uberposter
  • Uberposter
More
03 Nov 2016 16:21 #51034 by TwiceOnThursdays
Replied by TwiceOnThursdays on topic Halloween workshop - Disscussion Thread

lfan wrote: My apologies for my entry which was riddled with typos and a few things that were rather rushed. I'll post a much tighter v2 after voting concludes. Thanks to AuGoose for his editorial services and suggestions!

ElF


I don't think you have anything to apologize for.

Written story > perfectly grammar/spell checked empty text file.

Plus your story rocked.
The following user(s) said Thank You: lfan

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • TwiceOnThursdays
  • TwiceOnThursdays's Avatar
  • Online
  • Uberposter
  • Uberposter
More
03 Nov 2016 16:23 #51035 by Woodclaw
Replied by Woodclaw on topic Halloween workshop - Disscussion Thread

lfan wrote: My apologies for my entry which was riddled with typos and a few things that were rather rushed. I'll post a much tighter v2 after voting concludes. Thanks to AuGoose for his editorial services and suggestions!

ElF


Well, you abused the word 'sexy' a bit too much (I counted 5 times in 2 lines), but I think that your piece has a very classic charm to it ... and I noticed you reused the pool balls scen from Awakening ;)

(formerly Anon, still Librarian)

"What is the point of having free will if one cannot occasionally spit in the eye of destiny?" ("Gentleman" John Marcone)

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • Woodclaw
  • Woodclaw's Avatar
  • Away
  • Librarian
  • Librarian
More
03 Nov 2016 17:34 #51040 by lfan
Replied by lfan on topic Halloween workshop - Disscussion Thread

Woodclaw wrote:

lfan wrote: My apologies for my entry which was riddled with typos and a few things that were rather rushed. I'll post a much tighter v2 after voting concludes. Thanks to AuGoose for his editorial services and suggestions!

ElF


Well, you abused the word 'sexy' a bit too much (I counted 5 times in 2 lines), but I think that your piece has a very classic charm to it ... and I noticed you reused the pool balls scen from Awakening ;)


Yeah, I tend to reuse that word a bit much.....as for the pool ball scene, it was actually a bit different in my mind. Though they did both involve a pool table. :)

ElF

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • lfan
  • lfan's Avatar
  • Away
  • SWM - Administrator
  • SWM - Administrator
More
03 Nov 2016 19:57 #51044 by castor
Replied by castor on topic Halloween workshop - Disscussion Thread
I liked this contest a lot, and what i liked most about it is that there are several stories here-that i am not quite sure Belong on the site or what we usuaully get-and i mean that as a high compliment. there is stuff here that really streachs what we usually get on this site and i recomend that.

I hope people like my entry(inspired by Duke of Burgundy) but my thoughts on the other.

Give us something good to eat.

Spiderman-well marvel comics in general, if you find the right angle can be amazingly fun, with zippy details in a realistic world and fun action and a sence of empowerment and the joy of it. i tend not to like them all that much becuse from the wrong angle it turns into soap opera- but that ellement is where the joy comes. its getting the mix.

Which this story better then virtually any i have read for years-including from marvel comics gets. Your able to create a character, give her an intresting power dynamic and build her up(and that it comes from her werid and gross humanity helps-love the detail of treating a symbiote as a pet frog), but still able to seem not so powerful that she doesn't swee. megan feels a very fleshed out character, but whats more all the nods to spider mythology feels earned. This is something that you don't think of but oes makes sence-candy as a metaphor for a venom story.

Costume Drama


This story gets two intresting of haloween better then any story: Thats its a day to try on diffrent roles-but also a day to do something diffrent with your friends. Tricker treating is not just about candy-its about well being with people you know and expering something diffrent. And even tough Harlequins fate was perhaps predictable by the end i liked the aspect of her relationship was Saphire. I am normally not a fan of "oh the leauge of champions", this felt a very lived in superhero world, and its done without tons of exposition,or maybe that the exposition feels very organic. This is a girl gets superpowers for halooween story-but i loved the twist that she was already a superhero-she just becomes a diffrent superhero(or villian) and if the second twist is in retrospect obvious-it was only in retrospect. Its a cute ending to a cute fun little story, that does perhaps manage i think to say something about objectifcation which is something in our stories thats there but rarely commented on. .

Do you Dream in Color


I am sure this exists somewhere but this is the first uber girl story i can remember reading thats a poem compared to prose-and thats neat-but well with in the halloween tradition. There is a long history of kinda of spooky poems to read by the fire on halloween night and it gets that, and i like the detail. And this does have a spooky feel-almost at times like some of Lovecrafts poetry

The Bargin

Halloween is a fun way to do old fashion stories well, which is what this does-but it does it in a way thats sympathetic to this genre, and kinda of comic fiction in general. I could imagine this story done in like a Dark comic retelling of superman which is neat. This is an old fashion deal with the demon on the other side of the pentagram story,but i like the pyschology of it and how you build up both characters and you can sense the mind games being played you still feel enough sympathy to make it work. More then any of the stories in this contest this one felt scary and i like that. There is something so grasping about the demon so demanding to be let out that works for it.

One Halloween Night


One of the cool things about the contest is how diffrent the halooweens feel-but they do feel like recognizable interpretations of it. This feels like All Hallows Eve via an early 80s animted special or very special epiosde of a sitcom from that era. Love the idea that Aliens come to earth to go on a biking holiday(perhaps becuse i am planning a biking holliday). Its a funny story and i liked its kind of good natured well charactered tale.

The night of Changes.

We got several of "Girl on Halloween gets her wish granted" and it feels like that at first-but its not. No she gets what she doesn't want. And i liked that. You do a good job of creating the details of your heroine and make her seem like shes about to enter into an ubergirl story-but you do a good job of slowly peeling back the onion of it, and have it turn into a kind of intresting horror comic story, and while the good monster bad monster stuff at the end is maybe a little vauge it does have a neat feel to it.

I can also say this-it inspired me to want to take a stab at this kinda story, which is something that not every story does-so great for inspiring me

Newollah

There is some nice touches to this story. I always like a street level view of a super universe, and the details of people who are wearing supergirl costumes in a world with actual supergirl is a fun one, and you get the idea of how this is a celebrity and how people use it-especially how one of them is a professional cosplayer or wants to be. I like triplicate nature of this story and the three girls, and how the thing doing it feels purposefully wonderfully vauge-it feels like something that would be introduced in one episode and then resolved 5 epoisodes down-which is perhaps the best compliment i can give. This feels like a plot of an epiosde of Supergirl, and i like that show.
The following user(s) said Thank You: lfan, thedoc9

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • castor
  • castor's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Uberposter of Distinction
  • Uberposter of Distinction
More
04 Nov 2016 13:20 #51054 by Woodclaw
Replied by Woodclaw on topic Halloween workshop - Disscussion Thread

castor wrote: The night of Changes.

We got several of "Girl on Halloween gets her wish granted" and it feels like that at first-but its not. No she gets what she doesn't want. And i liked that. You do a good job of creating the details of your heroine and make her seem like shes about to enter into an ubergirl story-but you do a good job of slowly peeling back the onion of it, and have it turn into a kind of intresting horror comic story, and while the good monster bad monster stuff at the end is maybe a little vauge it does have a neat feel to it.

I can also say this-it inspired me to want to take a stab at this kinda story, which is something that not every story does-so great for inspiring me


This commentary made me scratch my head a bit because I really didn't consider my story being based on a "wish granting" gimmick at all, but I can see what you mean. I'm more interested in understanding why do you think that the confrontation at the end was vague. I know that there are a lot of details I left out because I didn't want to make this story into an info-dump, something I was acutely aware because I decided to go for the path less traveled and make my main character a lycanthrope instead of the usual supergirl we all know and love.

(formerly Anon, still Librarian)

"What is the point of having free will if one cannot occasionally spit in the eye of destiny?" ("Gentleman" John Marcone)

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • Woodclaw
  • Woodclaw's Avatar
  • Away
  • Librarian
  • Librarian
More
04 Nov 2016 23:03 #51057 by Woodclaw
Replied by Woodclaw on topic Halloween workshop - Disscussion Thread
Okay I've finally finished my second reading pass and I'm trying to put down my usual feedback run, although this time I'm both a little biased (guess why ;) ) and a little out of my depth since Halloween isn't that much of big deal for me so I might be missing some obvious elements of some stories (apologies in advance).

All Hallow Eve by Castor

Well let's start with the hard ones. This story is one that really left me cold because I really can't see how it fit the SWM-scape. I'm not fan of BDSM, but I have some friends that are into it and they give me some pointers in that regard. This story dwindle between the acceptable -- the idea that a BDSM relationship is actually based on something more than the basic mistress/slave relationship -- and the completely wrong. Also the Halloween theme seemed a distant element at best, the story could have happened any day of the year if the Owner got the fancy of throwing a party.
Superheroes and sexuality have long history [insert random Wonder Woman joke here], but I got the feeling that this story is just BDSM fiction with a random side-dish of superpowers and almost no female empowerment. One can make the argument that the Owner is the empowered woman here, but I really don't see how secluding herself in a luxirious mansion is a sign of empowerment, no matter how good she is at anything else. This is just my opinion, but I found myself really scratching my head with this one.

Costume Drama by Geekseven

The lovely thing about G7's narrative is the feeling that there's a great deal of world-building behind each one of them that he's not sharing. I can't really put my finger on it, but I got the distinct impression that many of his most recent stories might one day collide into a massive world spanning narrative.
On the subjet of this particular tale I found it quite interesting, but a bit forced. I really enjoyed the wish-granting element that I found very in line with the one key element of Halloween I understand: "Semel in anno licet insanire" (For a day every year is good to go insane). The whole idea behind the masks is to be someone else ina legitimate way and this story took the concept and turned it up to thirteen, which I really liked.
The one bit that left me cold is the "perfect coincidence" of having those two specific character wishing to be one another more or less in the same moment. It's a workable narrative tool, but it felt a bit left to its own devices without a bit more context on the involved characters and their previous encounters.
Still even with that little bit I loved what I read and I can totally go another round with these characters.

Do you dream in color? by Lustmonster

When Lustmonster told me that he was going to participate into this workshop I expected a lot of things, but he managed to surprise me. A lot!
In more than one way this a companion piece to LFan's and The Doc9's stories, it works on the same gimmick, but reversed the point of view, making the final result both the same and completely different. The world-builder in me is screaming: "How the heck is possible to gather all the energy needed for something like that stunt?" but after re-reading I told him to can it and just enjoyed the ride.
The one hard thing in this story is the point of view, being limited to a single character, who is also limited to a single location can be a really hard limit on a writer and a reader. On one hand I would love to get more details and more color to an otherwise unknown quantity (the main character), on the other I don't know if it would have been possible without making some radical changes to the story.
All in all something really unexpected and a pretty brave attempt at something completely different.

“GiVE uS sOMetHiNg GOoD To eAT!” by AuGoose

Beta-reading alert

Venom. In more than one way I've always been suprised he didn't get more used in this community given that it's pretty much a portable power-set with an in-built guide on how to use them ready to be exploited. I guess his "icon of the '90s" reputation is a bit too much.
AuGoose's entry is like a clockwork, every bit of it clicks very neatly into place and the story unfolds in a very clean way, an impressive result for a story that was written in two days or so. I'm a bit on the fence about having the main character getting the "body deal" alongside all the power and tricks, but it's not the end of the world. Goblin is a very natural choice for a villain, given that he's pretty a Halloween themed villain -- although this rendition felt a bit more like the Joker for some reason -- and provides the right amount of lunacy, pumpkins and danger to put the scare into the story.
The one thing that threw me off a bit is the pace, it's not bad at all, but it's a bit uneven, like a montage with some bits of slow motion added in.
Overall a very good story with a rather unique main character.

Neewollah by TheDoc9

Before going any further I have a question: what does the title mean?

For his second outing on this site TheDoc9 delivers a story that is actually quite stunning. At first I wasn't thrilled by the choice of using the Supergirl TV show as a base, but I loved how he snucked bits from other DC stories in to create something that worked. The fact that the story was solved by wisdom rather than violence was like the icing on the cake.
The one downside to the plot, for me is how very predictable the two new supergirls are. While I understand the constriction of working with such a limited timeframe, I would have loved to see their personalities not matching their costumes and having maybe a couple more nuances here and there.
Still for a second story in the genre this a stellar piece and if it's any indication of Doc's potential I'm really stunned.

One Halloween Night by Lfan

One sentence: classic in design and execution. Lfan's entry is everything I'd come to expect from one of our most seasoned members. The story has the feeling and the pacing of many old works back from the SGInc days which is both its charm and its limit. It's beautifully crafted -- in spite of the abuse of the word "sexy" -- and well balanced, but also a tad too predictable. I love this story, even if it's just nostalgia, but I wished it had just a pinch of something more.

The Bargain by TwiceOnTuesdays

The Bargain felt very much like a companion piece to my own entry and this makes me very biased in judging it, because every step of the way I was mentally thinking of how I would have written a certain moment. Tricking the devil (or in this case being tricked) is classic Halloween theme and Twice used it to produce a very classic feeling story, but it has one terrible limitation I had to but head with myself: exposition. The info-dump provided by the main character in the middle of the story was both needed to understand the ending and a pace-killer of the first order. When I reached the end I had to go back and re-read because I felt almost as lost as the Visitor.
Yet the story has its charm and I don't think I could have find an elegant solution to the problem in the short time we had to work with.

(formerly Anon, still Librarian)

"What is the point of having free will if one cannot occasionally spit in the eye of destiny?" ("Gentleman" John Marcone)
The following user(s) said Thank You: thedoc9

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • Woodclaw
  • Woodclaw's Avatar
  • Away
  • Librarian
  • Librarian
More
04 Nov 2016 23:25 - 04 Nov 2016 23:30 #51058 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic Halloween workshop - Disscussion Thread
In my defense, the "body deal" Megan Moore benefits from is canon - Eddie Brock experiences dramatic physical development of his human form while hosting the symbiote, and several of the later hosts/offspring also shape up nicely. It may just be a device to allow the artists to go back to drawing idealized/exaggerated forms for those characters but it's a real thing in setting :).

Neewollah will make more sense when you consider how Mister Myxlptlk is typically undone :). Similarly the aliens in One Halloween Night downloading information from Earth's "Central Wall" is hilarious once you ask yourself 'what the hell?'
Last edit: 04 Nov 2016 23:30 by AuGoose.
The following user(s) said Thank You: thedoc9

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
05 Nov 2016 00:16 #51060 by Woodclaw
Replied by Woodclaw on topic Halloween workshop - Disscussion Thread

AuGoose wrote: Neewollah will make more sense when you consider how Mister Myxlptlk is typically undone :).


Wait ... :huh: oh, right ... well played.

AuGoose wrote: Similarly the aliens in One Halloween Night downloading information from Earth's "Central Wall" is hilarious once you ask yourself 'what the hell?'


Belive it or not, this one I got while reading.

(formerly Anon, still Librarian)

"What is the point of having free will if one cannot occasionally spit in the eye of destiny?" ("Gentleman" John Marcone)

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • Woodclaw
  • Woodclaw's Avatar
  • Away
  • Librarian
  • Librarian
More
06 Nov 2016 13:17 #51075 by thedoc9
Replied by thedoc9 on topic Halloween workshop - Disscussion Thread
AuGoose,

Thanks for the assist. Yeah, when I was trying to come up with a title, I couldn't come up with anything good that wouldn't sound like any other generic costumes-on-Halloween story, so I thought about Mxy and thought it would be kind of mysterious, like one of my faves from this site: Stitagem. (Though I was a little disappointed that her powers weren't somehow related to a GEM stone, but that's just where I would have gone...)

Anyway, I am just glad people are reading and enjoying my stuff. I really need to spend more time reading the comments here, but I've been nervous about how I'd feel received. My big regret is that I was so rushed that only now do I realize that I should have shortened the brief flashback scene so I could remove the early reveal of his exit condition. I should have ended that scene with a coy, "well, I have an idea that I think you'll find interesting and appropriate..." line from Mxy instead.

Thedoc9

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
Time to create page: 0.122 seconds