LaPorte Caves

27 Mar 2016 15:38 - 17 Apr 2016 23:32 #47002 by fats
Hi all,

I've created this thread for people to bounce ideas for Circes's Cup for this excellent story series.

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Last Edit: 17 Apr 2016 23:32 by Woodclaw.
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27 Mar 2016 18:02 #47005 by castor
If your looking for ideas, i think at some point Julia has to come back to the normal world...but it would be intresting if that when she does she is so far gone she doesn't reconize it.
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27 Mar 2016 23:59 #47014 by AuGoose
Really loved chapter 7. Not just solid characterization but some really fun ideas. Some trials ahead will no doubt gloom things up a bit, but a well played bit of sunny world building.

Looking forward to more.
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28 Mar 2016 15:16 #47018 by jnw550
Great chapter! The casual way the girls dominate their environment while making it fun is really something I enjoyed. Julia's innocence and delightful wonderment about her new power makes me fall in love with her. I know drama makes a good story, but I'm enjoying the fun while it lasts.

I do love that you let them use their physical dominance in different, more interesting ways other than lifting and bending and bouncing bullets off their tits.

Everyone wants to be a beast, until it's time to do what real beasts do.
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31 Mar 2016 06:59 - 31 Mar 2016 07:06 #47088 by circes_cup
Thanks, Fats, for starting this thread!

Chapter 08 should go up Thursday night U.S. time.
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castor wrote: If your looking for ideas, i think at some point Julia has to come back to the normal world...but it would be intresting if that when she does she is so far gone she doesn't reconize it.


Yes, this is a great idea. And truth be told, you're not the only person to suggest this. I do expect to get her back to the normal world, but it will be a few chapters yet before I can work that in.
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AuGoose wrote: ... really fun ideas... trials ahead will no doubt gloom things up a bit..


Thanks, AG! That means a lot coming from a writer who has produced a great deal of variety himself. I like the suggestion you offered up in prior chapters about making Julia stand out in this world -- that her foreign-ness somehow contributes to playing a special role in this world. Without giving too much away, keep an eye out for that in later chapters.

And yes, trails are coming, but hopefully they will be fun trials. For you. Not for Howard.
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jnw550 wrote: ... Julia's innocence and delightful wonderment make me fall in love with her...


Thanks! Creating real characters was a priority for me in this story, something that I started to do in The Amy Dilemma and wanted to build upon. I'm hoping that it makes the story more accessible and compelling for the reader.
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jnw550 wrote: ... physical dominance in different, more interesting ways...


I'm glad that you see it that way. I'm hoping people experience the story as something new and different. The genre has been online for perhaps 15 years now, and I think keeping the concepts fresh makes a big difference.
Last Edit: 31 Mar 2016 07:06 by circes_cup.
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31 Mar 2016 08:15 #47089 by AuGoose
I'll keep my eyes peeled :).

I do quietly root for Howard. He's a guy, and he does stupid guy shit, but he's not evil or especially digging a hole or begging for karma to come kick him in the junk. In some ways he's probably the least whipped guy on the planet. I hope he can be a bit special too.

Chapter 8 so soon? I do love when a muse decides to linger :).

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01 Apr 2016 14:43 #47104 by lfan
Part 8 of this wonderful series has been posted for those of you interested. I've been privvy to the next few chapters as well, and I can only tease everyone by saying it gets better and better!
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01 Apr 2016 23:41 - 02 Apr 2016 00:10 #47121 by circes_cup

AuGoose wrote: I do quietly root for Howard. He's a guy, and he does stupid guy shit, but he's not evil or especially digging a hole or begging for karma to come kick him in the junk. In some ways he's probably the least whipped guy on the planet. I hope he can be a bit special too.


I appreciate the point, and it's hard to respond very specifically without giving too much of the future plot away. But suffice it to say that, if I had to put this story into a category, I would call it a romance. The story is about how two people struggle through unforeseen obstacles and rediscover each other in the process. Now, that sounds like the inside flap of a cheap greeting card, I know. But two individuals are facing no ordinary obstacles, and it's turning out to be no ordinary struggle, so it's impossible to predict whether they can pull through it together. But with that as the basic architecture of the story, c Howard cannot be a straw man. He'll be just as important to the outcome as Julia will.
Last Edit: 02 Apr 2016 00:10 by circes_cup.

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02 Apr 2016 08:02 #47124 by AuGoose
Shocked, upset, and confused. Angry, but not enraged. He's doing pretty damn good under the circumstances. And Julia's still getting a grip truth be told. The enhanced mental facility is definitely a huge barrier between the sexes. Definitely enjoying it. Its does a surprisingly good job of holding interest with a gentle pace -- usually I'd be waiting for the ninjas to attack, but I'm still riveted by the personal interplay.

Eager for more :).
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02 Apr 2016 12:24 #47125 by lfan

AuGoose wrote: Shocked, upset, and confused. Angry, but not enraged. He's doing pretty damn good under the circumstances. And Julia's still getting a grip truth be told. The enhanced mental facility is definitely a huge barrier between the sexes. Definitely enjoying it. Its does a surprisingly good job of holding interest with a gentle pace -- usually I'd be waiting for the ninjas to attack, but I'm still riveted by the personal interplay.

Eager for more :).


Totally agree.....Circes and Marknew do the "slow burn" sagas better than almost anyone in this genre. while I don't usually get into "Amazon Tribe" stories, this one has kept my attention and left me wanting more.

ElF
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02 Apr 2016 12:56 - 02 Apr 2016 14:39 #47127 by Monty
Really enjoying this! Especially the latest chapter with the multi-tv channel scene being a laugh out loud moment, and of course the end-scenes with the boulders and poor Howard throwing up all the Nourishment. I'm interested to see where the storyline goes and if Julia needs to keep taking the fruit to sustain her strength.
I've spotted an interesting development but will try pm you rather than hitting a potential spoiler. :)
Last Edit: 02 Apr 2016 14:39 by Monty.
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03 Apr 2016 00:29 #47139 by RevTekkX
Hello circes_cup,

I am quite happy to see chapters 7 & 8 added here on SWM.

I was hoping you would forge ahead with the series after the demise of Brawna.org.

lfan's note about yet-to-be released chapters is VERY encouraging!

Thanks for continuing this marvelous work!

RTX
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03 Apr 2016 01:05 #47140 by paulwitz
@RevTekkX, is Brawna.org down and out for good?

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03 Apr 2016 03:08 #47142 by circes_cup
I expect to post Chapter 9 on Thu 4/7.
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03 Apr 2016 14:20 #47147 by fats

paulwitz wrote: @RevTekkX, is Brawna.org down and out for good?


I wouldn't hold your breath if I was you when a web-site is saying "Working on bringing back ...." for more than a week it's not likely to be coming back ever.

Fats

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03 Apr 2016 14:28 #47148 by paulwitz
Darn. Ok, thanks Fats for the quick response.

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03 Apr 2016 19:03 #47149 by castor
I think this is a very bueatiful story and a well crafted world. Not in a "hey look at those guns" kinda way but all the details and ideas in the world are just so well done. Love the imagery of swimming underwater in 7 and the details and concepts of this world -its just very evocative like only you can do.

As a screenwriter familiar with how people do it in movie i would say "Well how is this going to either be fucked up and they have to save it, or alternativly, this is fucked up how are they going to fix it" but in someways is it doesn't quite fit that mold. Yes its kind vaugely distopian-but you do get a sence how people in this world are kinda happy. it reminds me in a way of the first two acts of the movie Divergent- it doesn't have a lot of plot, which means it doesn't have a lot of bad plotting and cliches. But s they went on and got more and more complex..it can fell its own weight of how does this all end. Hope you can avoid that.

keep going!!!
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03 Apr 2016 23:59 - 04 Apr 2016 00:00 #47153 by RevTekkX
I concur with Fats.

Who knows what's going on with it though? Brawna's sister site amaz0ns.com is still up.
Last Edit: 04 Apr 2016 00:00 by RevTekkX.

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05 Apr 2016 16:25 #47177 by circes_cup

castor wrote: I think this is a very bueatiful story and a well crafted world ... all the details and ideas ....


Thanks! It was certainly my intention to create an story that was immersive in nature. Some of my favorite "amazon world" stories might include Swinging by Marknew or Sally's Game by Arie. But those stories always ended in an amazon world rather than started there, never giving the characters a chance to really immerse themselves in the new reality. I wanted to write something that actually explored a different type of society, a different type of existence for men and women.

castor wrote: As a screenwriter familiar with how people do it in movie i would say "Well how is this going to either be fucked up and they have to save it, or alternativly, this is fucked up how are they going to fix it" ...


It's going to be the first one :)

Thanks again for the comments! Really enjoy hearing the details on how you reacted!

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09 Apr 2016 18:55 - 09 Apr 2016 20:26 #47231 by jnw550
This is really a great story. I find myself wondering how I would feel in Howard's situation. From the outside looking in, Julia is the girl I fantasize about. But in a real scenario would I be okay being so effortlessly emasculated even if she means well? Howard can't even lash out physically without hurting himself against her!

Julia's discovery and naivety is adorable. In contrast, so is her physical dominance and it's obvious she's beginning to like it even a little.

I imagine inserting her in our world is going to be a true eye opener for the both of them. She's fairly commonplace in that world, but in our world she'll be a goddess.

Imagine if she were to nourish further!

Everyone wants to be a beast, until it's time to do what real beasts do.
Last Edit: 09 Apr 2016 20:26 by jnw550.
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11 Apr 2016 22:19 #47263 by Monty
I am really loving this story more and more with each new chapter. Does Julia feel the need to pull Howard away from the family group because she doesn't trust them? A similar scenario was seen when she swam him away from listening, prying ears. Are the family going to try and prevent the couple from leaving? Great work. Looking forward to more!

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12 Apr 2016 16:25 #47277 by circes_cup

jnw550 wrote: This is really a great story. I find myself wondering how I would feel in Howard's situation. From the outside looking in, Julia is the girl I fantasize about. But in a real scenario would I be okay being so effortlessly emasculated even if she means well? ....Julia's discovery and naivety is adorable. In contrast, so is her physical dominance and it's obvious she's beginning to like it even a little.


Thanks! Yes, the emasculation on his part , the thrill of power on her part, and what it does to their relationship -- those are definitely topics I wanted to explore with this piece. So, I am gland they are coming through. Thanks again.

jnw550 wrote: I imagine inserting her in our world is going to be a true eye opener for the both of them. She's fairly commonplace in that world, but in our world she'll be a goddess.


A number of people have made this suggestion, either publicly or directly to me. Inserting Julia or her Nourished friends to our world would make for some interesting chapters, but it has the potential to completely hijack the original storyline I was hoping to pursue. So, I'm still trying to figure this piece of it out. PM me if you have any ideas.

Monty wrote: I am really loving this story more and more with each new chapter. Does Julia feel the need to pull Howard away from the family group because she doesn't trust them? A similar scenario was seen when she swam him away from listening, prying ears. Are the family going to try and prevent the couple from leaving?


Thanks, Monty! To your point about the swimming, yes, Julia pulled him away from prying ears because (a) they were arguing and (b) Howard's view of the amazon world would have been upsetting for the family to hear. And in this chapter, Julia is pulling Howard away again for similar reasons: the idea of them leaving will be upsetting to the family. I'll leave you in suspense on what happens next. Chapter 10 should be submitted on Thursday of this week!
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17 Apr 2016 23:32 #47344 by Woodclaw
For those who missed it, part 10 is out :)

(formerly Anon, still Librarian)

"What is the point of having free will if one cannot occasionally spit in the eye of destiny?" ("Gentleman" John Marcone)

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18 Apr 2016 07:37 #47346 by AuGoose
A tenth chapter of exploration and still I'm not craving a rescue from boredom via ninja attack. That's an amazing amount of exposition without collapsing under the info dump. Some superb show-over-tell going on there.

I have to ask, what's your sense of the ratio in chap 10 between stuff you've had planned well beforehand and stuff discovered in the moment of writing it?

I thought for sure chapter 9 was going to do me in: I think some of the super intellect would put me right past the uncanny valley and deep into the plummet on the far side of the peak. I'd be that guy in for a life of disappointment there, only maybe my frame of reference might be the world, rather than the titans moving through it. You could still challenge the seas or climb mountains and measure yourself against those things and other men without constantly smashing your head against the womenfolk.

And if you did decide it was your calling to pull down gods... well, their kryptonite is rather obvious ;}.

(Actually, I can think of three ways to obliterate the Nourished. But I'm evil like that...)

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18 Apr 2016 10:17 #47347 by circes_cup

AuGoose wrote: A tenth chapter of exploration and still I'm not craving a rescue from boredom via ninja attack. That's an amazing amount of exposition without collapsing under the info dump. Some superb show-over-tell going on there.


Great to know that you're enjoying the story despite the leisurely pace and lack of ninjas. I think the story will have to shift out of first gear shortly, with the commensurate amount of whoop-ass to ensue.

AuGoose wrote: I have to ask, what's your sense of the ratio in chap 10 between stuff you've had planned well beforehand and stuff discovered in the moment of writing it?


I've learned the hard way that I do much better when I focus on the characters. So, instead of saying to myself "it would be really awesome if they walked through a fire", I'm saying "these two ladies need to have a private conversation, and why not have them do it in a super way?"

AuGoose wrote: I'd be that guy in for a life of disappointment there, only maybe my frame of reference might be the world, rather than the titans moving through it. You could still challenge the seas or climb mountains and measure yourself against those things and other men without constantly smashing your head against the womenfolk.


I think we'd ALL be that guy in for a life of disappointment. We need to feel a sense of accomplishment, and in that sense, we all have egos. In this story, I'm trying to experiment with what happens our ability to have an ego gets stripped away.

Or here is another way I have been thinking about it: In American culture, (ie, my culture), there is a strong emphasis on being happy no matter what your circumstances. In a wheelchair? No problem! There are still plenty of productive things you can do with your life! Stephen Hawking is in a wheelchair, after all! Mind over matter! But I find that this attitude can be pretty naive. Difficult circumstances tend to bring out the worst in people, and that in turn makes the situation only more difficult. So, given how extreme Howard's situation is, he can't simply choose to have a good attitude. He can't just choose to measure himself against the mountain and not against the girl. He's might try to have the right perspective, but it's going to be hard. And, this, I am hoping, is what will generate the conflict that drives the story forward.
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24 Apr 2016 10:50 - 24 Apr 2016 11:35 #47438 by Monty
Hi Circes,
I'm intrigued by what you said in your pm reply about Julia's dream / vision. It has certainly got me thinking about how this will play on now! Especially when I think back to what Castor wrote in an early post on LaPorte Caves... possible spoiler so I won't say anymore about that! but again I'm only guessing. You certainly have Julia in a right quandary in chapter 10 with all that power, which is becoming second nature to her, to give up and I can see she is thinking hard. There is a way I'd love to see this played on further and I am thinking it would be human nature for Julia to do what I am thinking, but there would be no closure. More Power to your Pen! :)

...eta, the human nature thought about Julia isn't the one I mentioned in the earlier pm.
Last Edit: 24 Apr 2016 11:35 by Monty.
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03 May 2016 05:46 #47543 by grungykitten
I just wanted to say this is one of the best stories in this genre/fetish that I have ever read, and I'm super happy to see it continue here during brawna.org's downtime.
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07 May 2016 13:24 #47622 by Monty
Loving Julia in chapter 11! She's definitely the boss and doesn't she (and Howard) know it! Perhaps the addictiveness of the Nourishment is also character changing, but the local residents are unaware as they know of no other way of life? Another great chapter Circes!

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07 May 2016 18:35 #47631 by Torque
Just following up my comment on chapter 11. You are a great writer, and like others have commented, you've managed the slow burn and anticipation to really build the story instead of disract from it. I don't want to sound too critical of it, I really admire you for the skill needed for that. After I commented before, I went back and read the story over again. I think I can clarify my comment more. I think my issue has more to do with the fact that Julia seems to have no respect for the abilities she's been given. It's required no effort on her part, so she can't understand how that would affect Howard, who I think was trying to help her build into that person (obviously not a super woman through the use a of a magical fruit, but a better version of her Earth 1 self). He doesn't have a problem with muscular women per se, as evidenced by his attraction to the muscular wall climber, and I think he would have helped Julia become more like that and it would have helped them grow as a couple, but that has been taken away and Julia is too naive to realize it. She may be smart, but she has no experience. Personally I hope the nourishment wears off and it brings her down a few pegs so she can appreciate what kind of gift she is being given, and because I think that's the only way howard can start to respect her again. Not because she's less, but because she is the one that needs to mature.

Again, this is great, and I really look forward to more! Thank you for everything so far!

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07 May 2016 21:00 - 07 May 2016 21:00 #47639 by circes_cup

Monty wrote: Loving Julia in chapter 11! She's definitely the boss and doesn't she (and Howard) know it! Perhaps the addictiveness of the Nourishment is also character changing, but the local residents are unaware as they know of no other way of life? Another great chapter Circes!


Monty, thanks for the props! I think you're getting at one of the key elements of the story -- that our personalities and relationships are partially shaped by our environment. For example, I used to share a house with several guys who were taller than me and had deeper voices. When they spoke, everyone listened, whereas when I spoke, not everyone did. And so it was no coincidence that those guys were pretty outgoing, too. They were accustomed to commanding a room, so their personalities had adapted to an environment were they were always the center of attention. But if one of them woke up one day and found himself mute -- thats when we find out what he's really made of, isn't it?

Torque wrote: ... I think my issue has more to do with the fact that Julia seems to have no respect for the abilities she's been given ... she can't understand how that would affect Howard


Torque, I can tell from your comments that you gave the story a very close read; this is really gratifying for me because it shows that the story actually made an impression on you! And I appreciate the thought you put into focusing your critique.

To address your question/concern about Julia's treatment of Howard, I'm certainly not interested in a plot where a woman becomes so power-drunk that her emotions and motivations are no longer recognizable to us. Instead, I'm interested in keeping her realistic. We're all flawed beings: we can love someone and yet, at times, be terribly unfair and cruel to them. In the case of Julia, she can recognize how unfair it is to keep Howard in this world, and yet also be deeply tempted by the desire to stay -- so much so that she succumbs to twisted reasoning in order to justify the action.

It's hard to respond in any further detail without spoiling the whole story. But I'll take it as a compliment that you found these characters compelling enough to become emotionally invested in them! ;)
Last Edit: 07 May 2016 21:00 by circes_cup.

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