Deep Down Inside

13 Oct 2016 12:12 #50688 by AuGoose
Wow, I evidently have a HUGE amount of reading ahead of me with this one (up to part 4 so far out of 42) and already a couple of descriptions I wish I'd come up with ;).

More as I continue to dig into it.

Folder is here~
www.superwomenmania.com/index.php?option...d=228:ddi&Itemid=231
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13 Oct 2016 14:37 #50695 by lfan
In my opinion, probably one of the best -- if not THE best -- pieces of ubergirl fiction ever written......

ElF
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13 Oct 2016 16:42 - 13 Oct 2016 16:49 #50697 by LustMonster
Kind of surprised you didn't already know about this one. :)

It's definitely one of the all-time classics!
Last Edit: 13 Oct 2016 16:49 by LustMonster.
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13 Oct 2016 17:58 #50698 by AuGoose
I mostly navigate through the library by following interesting tags. This story was untagged (something soon to be rectified).
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14 Oct 2016 18:36 - 14 Oct 2016 21:02 #50721 by Monty
Oh yes! I've just re-read right through from what was originally my favourite chapter with the 'satellite incident' but the writing just got better and better to the end. Never thought I'd have a lump in my throat reading work on SWM, but re-reading the final scene with Vicky did just that.
A Superb piece of work Circes_Cup!

ETA I made a note of your opening paragraph about starting with chapter one and seeing it through - far more enjoyable this way, so back on chapter one. :)
Last Edit: 14 Oct 2016 21:02 by Monty.
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15 Oct 2016 02:20 #50729 by Sarge395
I started it and for whatever reason it left my mind. Starting to read it again. I think I was trying to email it to myself or copy/paste it into one big document so I could read it on the road or on break.

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15 Oct 2016 08:48 - 15 Oct 2016 09:19 #50737 by Monty
I was intrigued by your use of the name Jared as the mainstay character around the girls. Jared would be a fairly uncommon name (at least here in the UK), so I did a bit of research on the name and from a biblical perspective the following line appears;

"In the days of Jared, the fallen angels descended from the heavenly realm"

It may have been purely coincidental or I may have just stumbled upon another subtle but genius layer of Deep Down Inside.
Last Edit: 15 Oct 2016 09:19 by Monty.

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15 Oct 2016 09:37 #50738 by Woodclaw

Monty wrote: I was intrigued by your use of the name Jared as the mainstay character around the girls. Jared would be a fairly uncommon name (at least here in the UK), so I did a bit of research on the name and from a biblical perspective the following line appears;

"In the days of Jared, the fallen angels descended from the heavenly realm"

It may have been purely coincidental or I may have just stumbled upon another subtle but genius layer of Deep Down Inside.


I can't confirm nor deny this element but, given how careful Circes is with bulinding his stories, I'd say it might be very much intentional.

(formerly Anon, still Librarian)

"What is the point of having free will if one cannot occasionally spit in the eye of destiny?" ("Gentleman" John Marcone)

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16 Oct 2016 12:46 #50745 by AuGoose
Just finished the 11th installment. Had to read it twice, as my first attempt I was quite tired and ended up skimming it in a way that was not doing it justice or me any favors. Given the descriptions of the possible downsides of being capable of uberpleasure (heart attacks and even insanity) I'm guessing Circe's Cup had a good chuckle at some of the stuff I wrote in How the Little Tub Met Its Fate. The joys of convergent evolution, and a pleasure to see other ways it could be done by a sure hand. The girls have some interesting abilities. I'm not sure I've seen body-control (like mind-control, but its starts lower down the spine ;)) quite like this before, but super-charging/enslaving their lovers is kinda ridiculously hot ;). Something I look forward to trying my hand at in some later tale. I'm also enjoying the ways in which the actual intent of the instigators is a whole minefield they're waltzing through. I'm looking forward to seeing how that plays out.

Only oddity I'm occasionally snagging on is while we have some time seeing Vicky sort out super-strength, their overwhelming super-beauty and body-control abilities just sort of appear. The body-control I'm guessing is basically a built-in routine of the (aptly named) control modules, but I might have liked to see either a bit more research or more trial an error for such divinely effective aesthetic alterations. Maybe later segments will offer some explanation.

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17 Oct 2016 19:54 #50761 by circes_cup

Monty wrote: I was intrigued by your use of the name Jared as the mainstay character around the girls. Jared would be a fairly uncommon name (at least here in the UK), so I did a bit of research on the name and from a biblical perspective the following line appears;

"In the days of Jared, the fallen angels descended from the heavenly realm"

It may have been purely coincidental or I may have just stumbled upon another subtle but genius layer of Deep Down Inside.


I wish I had been able to employ that much forethought when I started the story! :)

In fact, names and the meaning of names are generally important to me, and it's part of my writing I'd like to strengthen. But this was my very first attempt at fiction, and thus I felt lucky just to get the basics onto the page!

Also, the serial nature of the story (publishing early chapters before the later chapters are even blocked out), makes it hard to incorporate elements of the end into the beginning. But that is a small price to pay for the advantages of publishing as I go, namely, that I can start to get feedback long before the story is complete.

I'm very glad that you enjoyed it!!
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17 Oct 2016 20:06 #50762 by lfan

AuGoose wrote: Only oddity I'm occasionally snagging on is while we have some time seeing Vicky sort out super-strength, their overwhelming super-beauty and body-control abilities just sort of appear. The body-control I'm guessing is basically a built-in routine of the (aptly named) control modules, but I might have liked to see either a bit more research or more trial an error for such divinely effective aesthetic alterations. Maybe later segments will offer some explanation.


I believe it's a concept that is fleshed out a little more with the other girls and experimented with in later chapters (Kim and Louisa come to mind in certain scenes)....

ElF
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17 Oct 2016 20:18 #50763 by circes_cup

AuGoose wrote: Only oddity I'm occasionally snagging on is while we have some time seeing Vicky sort out super-strength, their overwhelming super-beauty and body-control abilities just sort of appear. The body-control I'm guessing is basically a built-in routine of the (aptly named) control modules, but I might have liked to see either a bit more research or more trial an error for such divinely effective aesthetic alterations. Maybe later segments will offer some explanation.


The later chapters don't explain it any further. I had intended to treat it like any other form of magic, in which efforts to explain it do not make it any more believable. I had pretty much assumed, without saying as much, that the modules would have the ability to interpret and implement the subject's instructions, so that the subject did not need to be a expert in genetics and biology in order to have that thing inside of them. But in retrospect this could have been better explained, and the explanation of it could even have made for a fun scene.

If I had to characterize this story in a word, I would call it a "ramble". Rather than stick to a well-defined path or plot, the story pauses at a number of points to explore one thing or another, to have some fun with the premise. That's a product of my own state of mind when I wrote it: as my first writing experience, I wanted to explore and linger a bit rather than continually charge ahead. Whereas you use your Honking thread to explore stuff before you publish a finished product, in this case it was the exploration itself that got published. Therefore, don't get hung up on loose ends; just try to enjoy it wherever it goes.

Glad it's got you intrigued!

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18 Oct 2016 05:14 #50770 by AuGoose
No worries :). I guess it would be more accurate to say I was looking for a moment were it transitioned from "do this specific alteration" which was how I perceived the first few changes to "grab the 'hot' dial and turn it up to 14". I've got no real concern that the control units could do that if so instructed. And having been playing with 'sliders' lately myself, watching her realize she could just say, 'fuck this piecemeal tweaking, make me the hottest woman EVER... times six!" would be fun to watch. Because the tongue lolling awesome that follows has definitely been fun to watch :).

Looks like I still have extensive rambling delights still ahead. I promise not to over analyze :).

And yes, in my honking, I'm frequently struck by the need to go back and tune something earlier to lay the groundwork for a more recent thought. Just part of my process.

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18 Oct 2016 05:20 - 18 Oct 2016 05:23 #50771 by AuGoose

lfan wrote: In my opinion, probably one of the best -- if not THE best -- pieces of ubergirl fiction ever written......


A bold statement. I once characterized the difference between myself and some of my writing partners that on every outing they tried to give their absolute best effort, whereas I tried to do things 5-10% better than anyone else had ever managed to do them. Sometimes that meant I got to coast across the finish line when the previous body of work was a bit slipshod, and sometimes it meant I had set my sights way beyond my abilities. DDI has many likable qualities, but could you identify any features that particularly stood out for you? Even in the first few parts I've had a few ideas what aspects I could emphasize in the future to make my tales more appealing, but I'd like to hear your take.
Last Edit: 18 Oct 2016 05:23 by AuGoose.

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18 Oct 2016 15:37 #50774 by lfan

AuGoose wrote:

lfan wrote: In my opinion, probably one of the best -- if not THE best -- pieces of ubergirl fiction ever written......


A bold statement. I once characterized the difference between myself and some of my writing partners that on every outing they tried to give their absolute best effort, whereas I tried to do things 5-10% better than anyone else had ever managed to do them. Sometimes that meant I got to coast across the finish line when the previous body of work was a bit slipshod, and sometimes it meant I had set my sights way beyond my abilities. DDI has many likable qualities, but could you identify any features that particularly stood out for you? Even in the first few parts I've had a few ideas what aspects I could emphasize in the future to make my tales more appealing, but I'd like to hear your take.


That's a great question, and I've often wondered that as well (so I can steal the magic formula in my writing :) )..... if I had to put a finger on it, it was a combination of all the uber action combined with the personalities of the characters. While you pointed out that their adjustment to being "super hot" is somewhat automatic, the way the deal with and accept their power is probably the best part of it for me. Basically, four "zeros" (by their own characterization), suddenly winning the superpowered lottery and making the same mistakes and having fun the way a person would do if they won the lottery. Only with the girls, there aren't any consequences to their actions. Jared serving as their de facto moral compass I think was a nice touch and the fact that Vicki was so ultrahot and could have any man and STILL found herself unsure around Jarad I thought was brilliant.

Also, I loved some of the imagery and dialog that Circes wrote which , in many cases, was even more powerful and daunting than their superpowers. A prime example of this, for me, was Louisa's taunting of Boris on the battlefield or Kim's discovery of being knife-proof). The super confidence and sexiness that the girls demonstrated as the story progressed --- not even WORRYING about being hurt or stopped -- was so spot-on for me. They weren't merciless sociopaths. they just KNEW they were unstoppable. Also, on a personal level, for some reason, everytime I read it, I found myself being drawn into the imagery of these four females, wondering what they would look like -- each as beautiful and different as the rest of them.

While there were some elements I didn't care for (e.g. the kiddnapping of the soccer team for servants), those were personal preferences. I literally found myself trying to find things I didn't like and there were no more than a handful of them in all of the 40+ chapters.....truly remarkable.

I know this didn't probably answer your question, Goose, but hope it provided some insight

ElF
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19 Oct 2016 10:08 #50779 by AuGoose
No, that's exactly what I was looking for, including a sense mis-steps avoided. :)
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24 Nov 2016 07:10 #51381 by AuGoose
Still reading. Almost up to the party. Haunting was fun and hot machines a rewarding pun. The power is all there, the slow ramp up of its use has been remarkable. Another lesson learned for me :).
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28 Nov 2016 19:31 - 28 Nov 2016 21:23 #51441 by Monty

AuGoose wrote: Still reading. Almost up to the party. Haunting was fun and hot machines a rewarding pun. The power is all there, the slow ramp up of its use has been remarkable. Another lesson learned for me :).


Yes, the Haunting episode was definitely up there as one of the best - very atmospheric. It was originally posted on Halloween if I remember correctly. Brilliantly Apt! I was planning to post a link on this year's Eve of Hallows but must have been offline. Well done Circes!
Last Edit: 28 Nov 2016 21:23 by Monty.
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20 Dec 2016 23:34 #51811 by AuGoose
Made it to the end of the party and a bit beyond. Really enjoying seeing Vicki come into her own. Was a bit surprised about her growing awareness of the time bomb inside her, but it certainly adds bite to the scenario :).

Definitely mulling over extended tales where the characters start to change the world as they come to grips with their powers. Not sure I want to try my hand at it yet, but DDI has been a great example of how it could be done.
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