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Fall of Superior Girl
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willow wrote: Chapter 11 has been uploaded. My first big battle scene in the story as Power Girl reveals herself to the world.
I'm currently a couple of chapters behind, but I can't wait to get to this point.
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willow wrote: Glad everyone is continuing to like the story. I have posted Chapter 12 on the site where the world reacts to a new superhero appearing.
And now it's on.
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willow wrote: Looks like Chapter 13 will be slightly delayed. Keep getting 502 Bad Gateway errors when trying to upload it. Who is handling the technical issues with the site now that Fats has taken a leave of absence?
The tech problems with the forums are handled by R5, I try to manage what I can about the Library. Right now I saw your test update and it worked. If you keep having issues you can send me an email at woodclaw@gmail.com with the original text and I'll upload it.
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From the story and characters development perspective there's a lot I'm enjoying. The general plot is really wide in scope, in spite of its very basic premise, and I love the fact that so far the story has been more a war on informations and knowledge, rather than a straight superpowered brawl, it's something we don't get enough of. I really don't have much to say, the pacing is really good and I love the intrigue elements and the hints of other groups involved. Also, it's very nice that most of the early chapters revolved around Michelle trying to go undecover, although it's quite clear that she really love to show off and that she's not afraid of pushing the bonduaries of her mission to get a chance.
As far as characters goes, I have to say that it fits the tale quite well, but I have some nitpicks. I understand that taking down Superior Girl is a major concern and that having super-sex is a big plus, but how comes that Superman seem so oblivious to Michelle's attitude toward killing. I know that Superman is much less of boy scout than many imagine, but so far we saw him getting more aroused than horrified when Michelle retold her adventures -- true we don't know how in detail she goes, but he has been to, at least, one of the sites and was able to appraise the damage and the killing first-hand. Since we saw the story from Michelle's perspective we really have no clue how powerful her pheromones are, but I'm a lot, since they've clouded Big Blue's judgement so much. Still, what I found really well written is the slow descent of Michelle along the same path of Jessie. True, she is taking baby step, whereas Jessie was more like a swan dive, but the signs are there: from the apparent lack of empathy when she gets enraged to the constant self justification toward both killing and casual sex. It's really nice to see the attention to details as the story goes on and the fact that nothing is really final, there are many fine details that males me suspect that evn more drammatic changes are coming.
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willow wrote: Whooray! Back from a much needed vacation. The problems from earlier are gone so I have uploaded Chapter 13. Will see about also getting Chapter 14 out this week too in order to make up for lost time.
And it's on
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jumperprime wrote: Heh, when she describes her flying posture as "flat as a board" it made me laugh. Flat as a board? Not with THOSE tits.
Not so loud she might hear you
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willow wrote: Thanks for all the great comments! Chapter 17 has been posted.
The story is now published. For the record we are now under official workshop embargo so no new story will be published for the following two weeks to give people time to read and make up their mind about the new workshop entries.
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Also, Ollie's gonna be pissed that Superior Girl scuffed his building.
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jumperprime wrote: Huh? since when does Superior Girl have brown hair? I thought Jessie was always a blonde?
Also, Ollie's gonna be pissed that Superior Girl scuffed his building.
As Willow already told before when I pointed out that Michelle was supposed to be african-american, she's taking some liberties with the characters' appearence.
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