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Transformatrix 4000 -- Comments and Suggestions

18 Jul 2006 17:59 #6296 by ultragirl
Replied by ultragirl on topic Transformatrix 4000 -- Comments and Suggestions
Uh Oh. Two issues.

Denise lost her uniform. She essentially naked.

I don't think I described Denise as wearing a cape. I wanted a Wonder Woman approach to her.

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18 Jul 2006 19:15 #6297 by Spulo
Oh...I said that Supergirl had given her a costume just before they went into the facility...then you said that it was black and kind of Wonder Womany...so I assumed it still existed. Did you mean that it was destroyed when the Par-Las exploded?

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19 Jul 2006 17:30 #6307 by ultragirl
Replied by ultragirl on topic Transformatrix 4000 -- Comments and Suggestions
Yeah. And I only say that because I think it would a little too convenient to simply have fabric laying around that could withstand nuclear+ temps. You know?

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19 Jul 2006 19:33 #6311 by Spulo
Well, If the women can survive those temperatures... :wink:

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19 Jul 2006 20:51 #6312 by argonaut
Denise is featured in a chapter I'll be posting tonight or tomorrow. I'll try to resolve the "wardrobe issue."

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21 Jul 2006 02:27 #6338 by ultragirl
Replied by ultragirl on topic Transformatrix 4000 -- Comments and Suggestions
Wardrobe malfunction! Bwah-hahaha!

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21 Jul 2006 20:19 #6344 by Spulo
So...what did happen to Denise's costume? :)

We seem to be having more serious problems than wardrobe ones...certain characters seem to be disappearing. I had Lois and Amber heading down to the lower levels, with Jill heading upstairs to help Denise.

Ultragirl then had Jill back with Lois, and Denise by herself. I then had Jill catch up with Denise...and now in Argo's new episode Denise is by herself again, and Amber appears to have turned into DeeAnn...God knows where Kara's got to. :)

I don't wanna be overly picky, but...it does seem to be getting a little bit...odd.

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21 Jul 2006 20:55 #6345 by argonaut
A little confusing, maybe, but not odd.

Spulo had Denise put on one of Kara's spare costumes (presumably indestructible). Ultragirl had Denise wearing a different kind of outfit -- one that got vaporized by the Par-Las. I didn't see any way to reconcile the two, so I made an "executive decision." (Those who haven't read my new chapter might take a minute to guess whether I went with a clothed or naked Denise ...)

As for the other inconsistencies Spulo noted -- let's just say that things got kind of hectic and partners got switched between chapters. Here's my run-down on everyone's current whereabouts:

DeeAnn: Waiting for Lois's signal to pull the plug on the Lotos.

Lois: On her way to the auditorium to address the quarantined super-women.

Denise: On her way back to the facility (with a stop to pick up some clothes). (Maybe she'll be bringing Bobby Franklin with her?)

Jill and Amber: Heading for the auditorium.

Kara: ??? (Maybe dealing with the last of the soldiers, maybe directing the facility's "guests" to the auditorium.)

Dr. Klyburn: On her way to the San Francisco branch of STAR Labs to get her Transformatrix re-activated.

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27 Jul 2006 09:27 #6371 by Spulo
Hope I've not killed it now...

Question - is it likely that all information related to these superwomen is stored in the facility, on some big computer or something? Maybe some could destroy it, so that these people can go back to their old lives without their powers becoming public knowledge...

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29 Jul 2006 21:13 #6393 by argonaut
It's been a busy month for me. I'll let someone else bring down the curtain on the "secret compound." How about it, Ultragirl ... JumperPrime ... angels ... lfan? Or maybe someone new could step up to the plate.

Tell you what, though: Once the "secret compound" storyline gets tied up, I'll write a "three months later" chapter to establish the whereabouts of the various characters (suggestions welcome) and kick off a new story-arc.

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30 Jul 2006 02:00 #6395 by Spulo
Could I put in a few suggestions here for a possible next episode? I'm not going to put "It might be nice to" or "I'd like to see this" each time - just take that as read. :)

1) Bobby - needs to fess up to Jill. Hopefully she won't be too angry...

2) Bobby and Amber get together. I have a plan for an Amber story, so for T-3000 what I'd like is some mention that she's trying to go back to her old life - sits her finals, and aces them because of her new skills. No superheroics...yet...

3) Some mention of how much privacy these women will have after they leave the facility - if someone outside the place has a full list of everyone there, then that might cause problems...

4) Also - those government agents suspected Lois was Ultrawoman. Maybe have them do something about that...perhaps an "If you publish your story on the facility, then we tell the world you're Ultrawoman" type threat...

5) Klyburn getting her Transformatrix 'fixed'...

6) Not sure how people would feel about this - Kara and Jill get together. Yes, yes, I know...but as I see it, Kara would want to be with someone like her - that's partly why she's fixated on DeeAnn - and Jill's the only one who doesn't have any significant other as far as we know. Making them a couple makes each character less likely to get lost in the crowd, and also develops them a little. No need to dwell it - if we're going to jump ahead three months, then we can end this first part with one asking the other out, and then rejoin the story with them happily together - perhaps with shy quiet Jill finding it harder and harder not to squeeze into one of Kara's spare costumes and become a superhero herself...

7) Kara following up on that offer she had of an improval by a Transformatrix...maybe that gives her some completely new powers, as well as boosting her old ones...

7) DeeAnn coming to terms with the entire world knowing that she is Superwoman.

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30 Jul 2006 04:20 #6396 by argonaut
Spulo -- Amber is your character, so I'll go along with whatever you suggest for her.

Ultragirl -- Denise is yours. What do you see her doing three months down the road?

Anyone have any suggestions regarding Paris Hilton? And what about Sally Gordon? She's hardly been seen since all those other super-women began popping up. Have we missed anyone?

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30 Jul 2006 06:47 #6398 by Albais
What 'bout ex-man of steel and Amber's friends? Would be easy to know what happens with cheerleaders contest.

Kara & Jill it's a great idea. After DeeAnn's adventure she needs someone, not only a crimefighter companion...

And information theme is so good too. Make forget the world about all that happened would be more easy for those ladies in her new double life.

Someone else?

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30 Jul 2006 13:31 #6399 by Spulo
I have an idea for a generic (it could find in either side of the three months later bit) scene with Paris and Sally (I've assumed they're a team now too). They now just take whatever they want and live in luxury, and maybe Paris' sister could ask to be given superpowers too. Perhaps Paris and Sally should find out about the Transformatrix...from Klyburn, maybe?

I know Argo had an idea for Superman, and a certain other character...

Ooh, that reminds me - what about Lana?

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30 Jul 2006 19:01 #6400 by Albais
There's a way didn't exploited still: All the Auditorum's anonimous ├╝berbabes.

A lot of unfaced & unnamed with a probably great story behind everyone:

Why are here? What mades all of hers use TM 4000?

Maybe once the training building part overs would be interesting to intercalate those characters to knew some things more...

...just like how Kara will provide uniforms to each and every 1. :D

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31 Jul 2006 14:16 #6406 by Spulo
There's about 60 women in there, though - and we have a lot of characters already...

Might be good to get a few celebs in there though - Argo mentioned that Avril Lavigne, Jessica Alba, Jennie Finch and Summer Montabone are in there, so maybe they could be seen...

Lois just 'brainwashed' all those women into not misusing their powers - there's no guarantee that any of them would want to be superheroes, although an army of seventy women in Supergirl costumes...wow...

One idea for all those other women is that they become more interested in being superathletes rather than heroes - obsessed with pushing and pushing and pushing themselves as hard as they can. Maybe some could form a group designed to fight renegade superwomen...and surely the police and the army would want to get hold of as many of these people as possible...assuming that they go public.

Another little idea, and it only really would be a mention - an actress / singer / celeb's new powers propel her to fame, fortune and superstardom, and she takes to wearing a Supergirl costume full time whenever she's out in public or at events or whatever - she doesn't do anything heroic, she just wants a constant reminder to the people around her that she's better than them...

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31 Jul 2006 17:13 #6408 by ultragirl
Replied by ultragirl on topic Transformatrix 4000 -- Comments and Suggestions
Denise would want some time to figure out what she's going to do with herself. That may mean time away from Earth. Superhero sounds great, but how many does one planet need? Then there is her family...

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01 Aug 2006 06:03 #6417 by yaracyrrah
Replied by yaracyrrah on topic Transformatrix 4000 -- Comments and Suggestions
*diffidently pokes nose into discussion*

I'm a novice writer, not yet competent enough to write an independent story worth publishing; I think writing fragments in this format might be good practice for me. But... well, to be brief, because of the way I think and write I have a hard time writing other people's characters. I know there's a concern about too many characters, but would it be okay if I adopted one of the unknown 60 and started writing her into the story? (I've already composed, but not posted, a post giving her reaction to Lois's speech, to make sure I could.) Or would that be too much blurring of the boundary between "interactive story" and "shared universe"? I'm not talking about complete independence; I don't mind other people writing Laura into scenes where appropriate. I just need enough room to delve freely inside her head, because I write characters by immersion.

I won't be bothered if the group would rather keep this project more emphatically collaborative. I just thought I'd inquire.

--Y

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01 Aug 2006 06:29 #6420 by ace191
I think we need an Editor-in Chief for this project, in charge of maintaining the "continuity" just like the folks at DC do. I think that Argo or Spulo should step up to the plate on this one.

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01 Aug 2006 13:45 #6421 by argonaut

I know there's a concern about too many characters, but would it be okay if I adopted one of the unknown 60 and started writing her into the story? (I've already composed, but not posted, a post giving her reaction to Lois's speech, to make sure I could.)


I think that would be great. It would move the story-line a little closer toward its conclusion, and give us a fresh point of view.

Spulo and I have been having a lot of fun batting the story back and forth, but anyone is free to butt in at any time. That's what makes the project collaborative.

Regarding "too many characters": On the one hand, we don't want to get to the point where we need a scorecard to follow the story. But on the other hand, I like the idea that any writer can add a new super-woman to the mix at any time. That permits a variety of personalities and motives.

I'm sure that many of us have toyed with the fantasy scenario "What if I could give my wife / fiancee / girlfriend / neighbor / coworker / classmate / etc super-powers?" or "What if such and such female celebrity were super-powerful?" Transformatrix 4000 invites us to put the fantasy into words and add it to the "saga."

Your distinction between an "interactive story" and a "shared universe" got me thinking -- maybe we could have a thread called "Tales of the T4000." The new thread would be for stories set in the "Transformatrix universe" but standing outside the current story-line.

Oh, and one more thing -- I didn't intend to suggest that the Lotos is a "brainwashing" machine in the sense that Spulo seemed to imply. It can make unsuspecting subjects more susceptible to the suggestions of a skillful manipulator like Dr. Klyburn, but it can't make them act in ways contrary to their personalities. It can't be used to reform Paris Hilton or turn Denise against her family. (I introduced it only because I felt that DeeAnn's question -- why haven't more of the quarantined super-women left the compound? -- was a plot point that needed to be addressed.)

By the way: Who knows why I used the name "Lotos" for the machine?

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