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LaPorte Caves

05 Sep 2016 16:38 - 05 Sep 2016 17:50 #50090 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic LaPorte Caves
That's not to say my take is in any way representative :). I also do follow that she's essentially on a huge drug trip, and such a nice drug: you never come down from the high the rest of your life (or so the locals expect...). Not like I haven't pondered the euphoria-driven erratic behavior that might follow uberfication :). And I suppose Howard could have an entirely different set of triggers for "ok, you've just gone TERMINALLY too far - fucking NEVER AGAIN WILL THAT HAPPEN" than I'd have (who knows? This being tied to a drain spout could be more like an only slightly amped up re-enactment of some of their adult play back home and truthfully he doesn't mind that much... until she leaves him alone like that, at which point she's not there to complain to). I also think it's largely by design that he's pretty goddam awful at expressing his feelings positive or negative (nothing implausible about that!).

The trials and travails of their relationship are a principle engine for drama... It's no surprise they won't come even close to getting it right the first few times. But somewhere along the line somebody needs to jerk her leash. The tra-la tra-la'ing in the land of candy and rainbows has gone right on over from enjoying your new abilities to actively oppressing people with them - a valid story form, just one I have very little interest in (people who claim to love each other actually being shitty to one another is something I can find more than enough of here in the real world ;)). Whether it's Ruth, Howard, one of the younger girls far more used to the actual necessities involved in getting along with the male half of the species or even Ruth's husband (what a unique quarter to get chastised from...), somebody needs to say, "hey, Julia. You're kind of being a bitch. And even here, that's not ok." In some ways I think Julia's getting handed the idiot ball, if you can listen to 16 channels at once but can't recognize a single look of HORROR from you're beloved of many years, there's something terribly nasty going on inside your brain chemistry :huh:. And that might be an unsurprising outcome for the newly Nourished too - it seems like there's some variation in the process. Flagrant narcissism might be an uncommon but not unheard off (and hopefully temporary) aftereffect. Especially for someone both so dramatically responsive to Nourishment and who went straight for the massive OD where most girls have some ramping up time. Lots of possibilities. Ruth seems quite knowledgeable but at some point it might be good to send Julia to a specialist for a check up :).

Though there is one moment I do look forward to: the lovely agonizing instant Julia's super-brain puts it all together that what Ruth just told her to do TO Howard actually means Howard had very little say in the outcome of the borrowing she sent him off into... In her eagerness to please, Julia threw her beloved to the wolves. Welcome to a culture where cold, calculating manipulation of the idiot menfolk to keep them serviceable as breeders is a fundamental skill. So basic even an 18 year-old has worked to master it. That's right Julia, that pure, noble source of your righteous outrage toward Howard is something that only one person had a choice in: You. Glad you could join us, Julia. Isn't it just lovely here? You'll do much better when you stop thinking of males and their little man muscles as people...

You might be satisfied where things went and have her bounce back in a flash of self-realization, or you might not want to dip so far into using Howard as nothing more than a foot stool for her to prop her almighty feet up on. Dunno. Tastes differ and we have a whole spectrum of them here :). I'm happy to give my feedback, but I always encourage you to serve yourself first and foremost. It takes far too much energy to end up being something YOU are not happy with :).
Last edit: 05 Sep 2016 17:50 by AuGoose.

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05 Sep 2016 17:32 #50091 by Pepper
Replied by Pepper on topic LaPorte Caves

circes_cup wrote: Thank you all for the comments, particularly your feedback on the impression Juila is making. I had not intended for her to trigger such strongly negative reactions.

I've decided to re-think the subsequent chapters yet again, and will probably reorganize them yet again. This is a discouraging moment for me, because the next section had already gone through a summer's worth of re-writes, which had been time consuming enough. But I've decided that more time is needed. The bright side is that I think it will produce a better story.

My promise of posting subsquent chapters over the coming weeks is no longer feasible. The Chapters will be ready when they are ready. I will not be providing updates on my progress, publicly or privately.

If you've volunteered to do a beta read, I appreciate the offer, have noted it, and will reach out to you if I want to do that.

Thanks again, guys.

This post troubles me greatly. It's your story and you should tell it the way you want to. Julia certainly has her fans in this thread. Maybe the fact that this latest chapter was from Howard's point of view just has us focusing on him more at the moment.

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05 Sep 2016 18:00 - 05 Sep 2016 18:06 #50093 by Monty
Replied by Monty on topic LaPorte Caves

Pepper wrote:

circes_cup wrote: Thank you all for the comments, particularly your feedback on the impression Juila is making. I had not intended for her to trigger such strongly negative reactions.

I've decided to re-think the subsequent chapters yet again, and will probably reorganize them yet again. This is a discouraging moment for me, because the next section had already gone through a summer's worth of re-writes, which had been time consuming enough. But I've decided that more time is needed. The bright side is that I think it will produce a better story.

My promise of posting subsquent chapters over the coming weeks is no longer feasible. The Chapters will be ready when they are ready. I will not be providing updates on my progress, publicly or privately.

If you've volunteered to do a beta read, I appreciate the offer, have noted it, and will reach out to you if I want to do that.

Thanks again, guys.

This post troubles me greatly. It's your story and you should tell it the way you want to. Julia certainly has her fans in this thread. Maybe the fact that this latest chapter was from Howard's point of view just has us focusing on him more at the moment.


I agree totally with pepper here. Circes; you shouldn't feel the need to change your work The concept of it being character changing is a STRONG possibility given that she was 'thrown in the deep end' (slurp,gurgle, slurp) by Mindy, compared with the girls in this wonderful world who have been trained from a young age on PN so they get used to the 'baby wheels' before the real stuff comes into play in their late teens.
It's your party, run with the story as you feel is fit.☺
Last edit: 05 Sep 2016 18:06 by Monty.
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05 Sep 2016 18:44 #50094 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic LaPorte Caves
I wonder if what we need is one or the other of the pair to bring up some past experiences on Earth. A chance to see a little more of how they got to be connected. Howard mentioning some example of when Julia was isolated and frustrated and how she needs to see how that could apply to him. And Julia bringing up some example of him being her champion/protector, and how she wants to be able to do that for him now because of how good it made her feel to be protected (and not just swatting alligators 'cause it looks cool).

I guess I'd like to have a better feel for the good times, and the bonds that give them the strength to keep trying, when really it's hard not to think they're entirely different species now, more fiercely segregated by culture and capability than Romeo and Juliet on their best day. I want to root for the star-crossed lovers, but I really need to see both of them in a more sympathetic light.

I mean, I guess part of why I feel for Howard other than us both having XY chromosomes is I went to Japan for a month, staying with a friend who worked as a translator and English teacher in one of the smaller, non-tourist oriented cities. His Japanese was IMPECABLE. Like scared the locals good. I on the other hand knew about 10 useful phrases and had a vocabulary of maybe another 30 words. I was ENTIRELY reliant on him while there and while that was fine, it was still mentally and emotionally exhausting to be in a place where I was functionally deaf, mute, and illiterate while expected to at least try to immediately adopt customs and courtesies everyone else had a lifetime's head start on. I am PROUD to say I surprised a few people with my relative grace and sophistication. Once in a while. If I was really having a good day. but there was plenty of grossly embarrassing fumbles too. I've been the stranger in a strange land. One who had every advantage compared to Howard in terms of being a well prepared, well financed traveler with a definite departure date. But even with a trusted and reliable intermediary who never let me down it was pretty ragged by the fourth week and that's with the promise of respite close at hand. Stuck there for duration unknown? HELLISH. Unimaginably hellish faced with the prospect you could NEVER learn the language, spoken or written. I'm a bright guy. Being perceived as the village idiot is not something to look forward to.

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05 Sep 2016 19:27 #50096 by jnw550
Replied by jnw550 on topic LaPorte Caves

circes_cup wrote: Thank you all for the comments, particularly your feedback on the impression Juila is making. I had not intended for her to trigger such strongly negative reactions.

I've decided to re-think the subsequent chapters yet again, and will probably reorganize them yet again. This is a discouraging moment for me, because the next section had already gone through a summer's worth of re-writes, which had been time consuming enough. But I've decided that more time is needed. The bright side is that I think it will produce a better story.

My promise of posting subsquent chapters over the coming weeks is no longer feasible. The Chapters will be ready when they are ready. I will not be providing updates on my progress, publicly or privately.

If you've volunteered to do a beta read, I appreciate the offer, have noted it, and will reach out to you if I want to do that.

Thanks again, guys.


I'm a little concerned as well if only because I get the feeling that the whole mood of the story that I was enjoying will now turn due to one person's very negative reaction.

Of course, you must agree on some level or you wouldn't be doing another rewrite.

I see a lot of sympathy for poor Howard, yet I thought it was pretty clear in earlier chapters that back in Kentucky the tables were turned in exactly the same manner. Not to mention how quickly everyone has forgiven Howard's infidelity despite whatever power Mindy had over him.

I get the feeling that some are looking for Julia to take the high road "with great power..." Or some such. Thing is, I don't think Julia owes Howard a damn thing.

Really, is Howard such an emotional pussy that he has zero confidence in what he has to offer? Even if all he has to give Julia is emotional support and a good lay every now and then? The men in their new world don't seem all that unhappy. Whatever they have, whatever you want to call it, it WORKS in their world. Being in love means wishing your partner to be HAPPY whatever that may mean. If Julia wants to stay, let her stay. If Howard doesn't want to a part of it, then show him the way home. THAT would be the mature thing to do for both of them.

In my own personal life, my girl wants to live further north, but I make the money and there's no career in what I do up there. She may not like it, but she stays with me anyway. I'm not holding her though. I've told her, "I love you, and because I do I want you to be happy."

This is a work of superwoman fiction, and I'm concerned that strong feelings will turn it into a heavy drama and ruin the innocence I loved about it.

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05 Sep 2016 19:55 #50097 by jnw550
Replied by jnw550 on topic LaPorte Caves
I want to add that there also seems to be want for things to work out or for one of the two lovers to have an epiphany or come to an understanding. Maybe that's not the author's intent. Maybe there is no "happy" ending.

I don't take negative reactions as bad. The point is that we're invested enough in the story to have a conversation and I think that's what you want. There is no way you're going to please everyone.

I've seen plenty of movies where I hated the way it ended but thought, "Wow, what a powerful way to do it!"

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05 Sep 2016 19:56 - 05 Sep 2016 20:11 #50098 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic LaPorte Caves
((chuckle)) I'm pretty sure the 'one person' in question did mention they may not be representative. If anything the takeaway form the last workshop and four very different stories garnering almost the exact same number of votes should tell everyone there's a very diverse palette of tastes being serviced here :). I kind of doubt broad consensus is possible... or desirable.

Maybe this whole discussion can be held up as an example of the importance of speaking up if you like something and if you like the course it's taking. In my experience writers kinda like hearing that they've provided entertainment :). I agree there's a lot of fun to be had in an innocent romp. From reading Circe's Cups comments I thought his goals leaned more towards a dramatic narrative and I continue to look forward to his success in whatever form it takes. I'm as crestfallen as anyone that I might have stymied the process - because really there's no need for me to try and actively bend someone else's story to fit my nest.

Make you a deal: You elaborate a bit more on what's working for you and I'll shut up for a while :).

circes_cup wrote: ...if I had to put this story into a category, I would call it a romance. The story is about how two people struggle through unforeseen obstacles and rediscover each other in the process. Now, that sounds like the inside flap of a cheap greeting card, I know. But two individuals are facing no ordinary obstacles, and it's turning out to be no ordinary struggle, so it's impossible to predict whether they can pull through it together. But with that as the basic architecture of the story, c Howard cannot be a straw man. He'll be just as important to the outcome as Julia will.

Last edit: 05 Sep 2016 20:11 by AuGoose.

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05 Sep 2016 20:21 #50101 by Torque
Replied by Torque on topic LaPorte Caves
Well I hope I'm not coming off as excessively negative. I really enjoy the story, hence why I keep coming back to it. I hope my own comments aren't contributing to more rewrites.

This is just what I feel. I spent about a hour last night mulling it over, and what I've come down to is the same question that's already been asked, do they really love each other. I honestly don't think so. To see why, you have to ask what is love? Yes that's a very broad and existential question, but for most it is complete trust and faith in someone built off of what you find admirable in traits or abilities. I don't think Julie ever truly loved Howard, I think she loved him for what he did for her, even if she doesn't consciously acknowledge it. If she really did love him, she would at least admire his passion for physical sports and competitive play, since it is something that has always clearly been important to him. And yet she is telling him he needs to give all that up based off the advice of a total stranger (Ruth), and literally needs to be broken in. Honestly I don't think anyone in this world knows what a true love is; they just continue to foster submissive males that don't know anything different than to be used for the one thing the women need them for: babies.

People will say that Howard just loved playing the hero, but I think people misinterpret what that means. it doesn't always mean that you want to save someone to set them up so they no longer need you. Sure, some people are like that, but it's far too patronizing for both parties and the relationship will never last. To me, it means he saw the potential in Julia to be more, by seeing his own flaws in her that he wants to work on himself. The relationship becomes a journey for both of growth and maturity. With the nourishment, Howard has been completely stripped of anything he can improve on, for himself or Julia. He can't even watch TV, arguably the most mundane of tasks. Julia doesn't empathize at all with this. She reminds me of the psychotic chick that murders a guy's girlfriend just because she thought that was the only reason they weren't together, and is shocked when the guy doesn't love her. Extreme example, yes, but you get my point.

I suppose I am fixating on Howard's plight more than anything, but for me it's because the schmoe stories where the man just automatically for no reason accepts everything and worships the women, or fight it and are destroyed in some of the most gruesome ways, are a dime a dozen online, and they're boring. This is unique because it explores a real relationship.

I don't want to discourage you at all circes, any way you take the story I'm along for the ride. You are the author and these are your characters, and I hope that you see that all the discussion is just because you have struck just the right chords. I appreciate all the time and effort you are taking for this.

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05 Sep 2016 20:50 #50105 by jnw550
Replied by jnw550 on topic LaPorte Caves

AuGoose wrote: ((chuckle)) I'm pretty sure the 'one person' in question did mention they may not be representative. If anything the takeaway form the last workshop and four very different stories garnering almost the exact same number of votes should tell everyone there's a very diverse palette of tastes being serviced here :). I kind of doubt broad consensus is possible... or desirable.

Maybe this whole discussion can be held up as an example of the importance of speaking up if you like something and if you like the course it's taking. In my experience writers kinda like hearing that they've provided entertainment :). I agree there's a lot of fun to be had in an innocent romp. From reading Circe's Cups comments I thought his goals leaned more towards a dramatic narrative and I continue to look forward to his success in whatever form it takes. I'm as crestfallen as anyone that I might have stymied the process - because really there's no need for me to try and actively bend someone else's story to fit my nest.

Make you a deal: You elaborate a bit more on what's working for you and I'll shut up for a while :).

circes_cup wrote: ...if I had to put this story into a category, I would call it a romance. The story is about how two people struggle through unforeseen obstacles and rediscover each other in the process. Now, that sounds like the inside flap of a cheap greeting card, I know. But two individuals are facing no ordinary obstacles, and it's turning out to be no ordinary struggle, so it's impossible to predict whether they can pull through it together. But with that as the basic architecture of the story, c Howard cannot be a straw man. He'll be just as important to the outcome as Julia will.


My comment, though it certainly pointed to one individual, was really a poke at the author for not being more confident in the direction of his story. Sorry that wasn't more clear.

I'm not looking for NO drama, any good story has drama, I just don't want to be drowned in it.

I actually agree with Torque on a few things which is why I feel that maybe, I the end, they just need do to what's right for the both of them and part ways. However, the romantic in me wants them work it out. Maybe it's their relationship that paves the way forward for a fundamental cultural change! Wouldn't that be something?!

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05 Sep 2016 21:35 #50108 by Pepper
Replied by Pepper on topic LaPorte Caves

jnw550 wrote: I want to add that there also seems to be want for things to work out or for one of the two lovers to have an epiphany or come to an understanding. Maybe that's not the author's intent. Maybe there is no "happy" ending.

I have thought of that. circes' comments earlier in this thread make me think that there are still more revelations to come.

Torque wrote: This is just what I feel. I spent about a hour last night mulling it over, and what I've come down to is the same question that's already been asked, do they really love each other. I honestly don't think so. To see why, you have to ask what is love? Yes that's a very broad and existential question, but for most it is complete trust and faith in someone built off of what you find admirable in traits or abilities. I don't think Julie ever truly loved Howard, I think she loved him for what he did for her, even if she doesn't consciously acknowledge it. If she really did love him, she would at least admire his passion for physical sports and competitive play, since it is something that has always clearly been important to him. And yet she is telling him he needs to give all that up based off the advice of a total stranger (Ruth), and literally needs to be broken in. Honestly I don't think anyone in this world knows what a true love is; they just continue to foster submissive males that don't know anything different than to be used for the one thing the women need them for: babies.

That was my comment, and I'm not as sure as you are. I reread one of the earlier chapters a while ago, where Julia deciphers the written language and tries to smooth things over with Howard with a swimming lesson. To prove she understands the language she points out the symbols for 'smart' and 'stupid' and Howard takes offence. She realizes she's hurt him, and she is remorseful, and she is concerned for him. At the moment I'd say that she does love him, but it just seems to be coming out in all the wrong ways. She's hasn't been the capable one in the relationship before, and it's understandable if she doesn't handle it perfectly right away. And this is still an alien world to her, too, but the advice she's getting that's making it easier for her to adjust is also making things even harder on Howard.

They're so close. It seems like it would just take a small realization from either one of them, the right word at the right time, a little give-and-take, to start stepping back from the brink. They might not find it; certainly not every couple in the real world does. It's still a great story either way.

I don't want to discourage you at all circes, any way you take the story I'm along for the ride. You are the author and these are your characters, and I hope that you see that all the discussion is just because you have struck just the right chords. I appreciate all the time and effort you are taking for this.

Seconded, quite heartily.

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05 Sep 2016 21:52 #50109 by twitch99
Replied by twitch99 on topic LaPorte Caves
I only had a chance to read this new chapter a couple of days ago so it looks like I'm late to the conversation. First I want to thank circes for this story, as it is a great read. Thank you, thank you, thank you

Please don't change what you have written based on our comments. It is your story, take it where you want to. You should be proud of what you have written so far, as all the vocal comments mean you touched many of our likes, dislikes and emotions. That is what a great story does.

You have created a very interesting and intriging world that provides a great back drop for your exploration of love and relationships.

I won't comment on the course of the story or chapter 12 :) but will say I'm a member of team Howard!

Can't wait for the next chapter.

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05 Sep 2016 21:59 #50110 by jnw550
Replied by jnw550 on topic LaPorte Caves

twitch99 wrote: I only had a chance to read this new chapter a couple of days ago so it looks like I'm late to the conversation. First I want to thank circes for this story, as it is a great read. Thank you, thank you, thank you

Please don't change what you have written based on our comments. It is your story, take it where you want to. You should be proud of what you have written so far, as all the vocal comments mean you touched many of our likes, dislikes and emotions. That is what a great story does.

You have created a very interesting and intriging world that provides a great back drop for your exploration of love and relationships.

I won't comment on the course of the story or chapter 12 :) but will say I'm a member of team Howard!

Can't wait for the next chapter.


Uh, oh! I'm team Julia!

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05 Sep 2016 23:55 - 06 Sep 2016 00:10 #50112 by Dru1076
Replied by Dru1076 on topic LaPorte Caves
I understand you want to make the best story you can, Circes.... But I hope your not gonna scrap what you've worked so hard on. I know from my own experience you can never please everyone.

Personally, I took that little comment about Julia as being "contemptible" to be a bit steep. She just got turned into a practical goddess...i didn't think her behaviour in such circumstances is even over the top. She could, after all, simply get herself aroused and crush Howard completely and totally in a few minutes. I think she has displayed a LOT of humanity.

But I know you have the skills and vision to keep leading me on wherever you go with this. I'm enjoying each chapter immensely and I know that's one thing that won't change. :)
Last edit: 06 Sep 2016 00:10 by Dru1076.

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06 Sep 2016 01:07 #50114 by circes_cup
Replied by circes_cup on topic LaPorte Caves
Thanks the contributions, guys. To put some more clarity on my earlier comment, I'm not reacting anyone who may have expressed a dislike for the story. As Dru said, ya can't please everyone, and I'm certainly not going to try.

Rather what I'm reacting to is the fact that Chapter 12 does not seem to be communicating its points clearly. Julia was not intended to be a monster, so if she is coming off that way, I need to rethink a bit. And since subsequent material uses Ch 11-12 as a foundation, it all needs to be rethought.

I'll reread the last few chapters with a fresh set of eyes and decide what I want to do from there. Everyone's comments have been very helpful. I know the story I want to tell, just need to get it on paper.
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06 Sep 2016 03:20 #50118 by Pepper
Replied by Pepper on topic LaPorte Caves

circes_cup wrote: Rather what I'm reacting to is the fact that Chapter 12 does not seem to be communicating its points clearly. Julia was not intended to be a monster, so if she is coming off that way, I need to rethink a bit. And since subsequent material uses Ch 11-12 as a foundation, it all needs to be rethought.

It's hard to describe, really. I don't think Julia is a monster, but I don't blame Howard for wanting to get away from her, either. I don't think she's irredeemable, but I don't see a happy ending for Howard if she keeps treating him the way she is.

Nowhere is it written that he has to have a happy ending, of course.

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06 Sep 2016 04:35 - 06 Sep 2016 08:41 #50119 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic LaPorte Caves

jnw550 wrote: Uh, oh! I'm team Julia!

I'm team Circe's Cup :). While I might have been unnecessarily strident in calling out Julia as being abusive, I've gotta say, if you're looking to write a love story and the reaction is...

jnw550 wrote: I actually agree with Torque on a few things which is why I feel that maybe, [in] the end, they just need do to what's right for the both of them and part ways.

I can see how that more than anything else said here might make you think you've gone astray in presenting the protagonists' love. People may want for them to pull through, but we're having to bend over backwards farther and farther to believe it could happen.

I've always felt the difference between love and lust lies in a degree of selflessness - to not only want the best for the object of your affection, but to be willing to subordinate yourself to that goal. There's a natural ebb and flow in how much you're willing to shovel shit so your beloved can have a rose garden on any given day. But it's been a while since we've heard Howard think "I just want her to be ok, and she' not ok." Or for Julia to think "I want him to be happy. And I want him to be happy for me." While I've pointed at a lack of empathy and understanding for the other person's plight (and that runs both ways), if there's something missing that would make me hope for their shared future, it's the selflessness. If I'm supposed to be on team Howard, I need to hear his shame that he can't help her, because she needs help. Shame that above all else he's running away from someone who needs him. Shame that he's putting himself first. If I'm supposed to be on team Julia I need more than to see her big muscles toss around a crocodile, I need to share in her frantic terror of prowling through the swamp thinking 'oh God, what have I done?' over and over.

That the two still open their big fat mouths and stick a foot in it when she finds him is fine. Loveable even. They're awkward. We get that :). But inside, I want to know they care and care deeply. We see her afraid of losing the power. We don't see her afraid of losing Howard. Which are we supposed to think she loves more? Because the real world analogy says the junkie usually loves the high more than their family. It's awful, but it's also how we're wired.

But those are my needs, and this isn't my story. So that kind of detailed suggestion may be completely inappropriate. I honestly don't know. I hope that Circe's Cup feels he knows me well enough to be comfortable in telling me "sod off Goose, 'cause that's not where this is headed and you don't understand the characters at all" and know that I wouldn't take offense in the slightest :laugh:.
Last edit: 06 Sep 2016 08:41 by AuGoose.
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06 Sep 2016 06:06 #50121 by jnw550
Replied by jnw550 on topic LaPorte Caves
I was joking about Team Julia.

Joking aside, you're on point about one thing. If this was meant to be a love story, it's getting harder to think they'll ever get on the same page.

Then again, it's darkest before dawn. There are going to be growing pains for sure. (See what I did there?) I do feel like since Julia is in the lead, smarter, faster, stronger, better, she carries the responsibility of making the transition easy.

I too like that they stumble emotionally. It is endearing. I can tell they love each other, but maybe its not coming across as strongly for some of us?
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08 Sep 2016 21:03 #50151 by Monty
Replied by Monty on topic LaPorte Caves
Ok, here's how I see Ruth in a 'relaxed' pose...

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14 Sep 2016 06:56 - 14 Sep 2016 07:34 #50239 by circes_cup
Replied by circes_cup on topic LaPorte Caves
So, I've begun revising the story. But it's slow going. There are days when I make some progress. There are other days when I wind up simply staring at a blank screen, or not getting even that far.

Part of the doldrums I'm experiencing are simply fatigue: amidst a demanding job and a demanding family life, a summer's worth for free moments did not add up to a Ch 13 with which I am satisfied. But at the same time, part of the doldrums I'm experiencing are actually a response to the blistering reaction the story received from Au Goose.

In my head, I know that Au Goose is only one person, and that his views are not representative of the whole readership. Moreover, his comments make it clear that his expectations of the story were very different than mine, which lessens the weight I should be putting on his suggestions. For these reasons, I had hoped to be able to brush it all off, to return to productive work right away.

But I'm finding that his strongly worded posts did have an impact on me: my heart's just not in it right now.

Unlike most writers in this genre, I've never left a story unfinished. I'll finish this one, too. And when I do it, I'll have the benefit of the comments offered up by many of you, which have helped me think through where I want to take this story next. What's more, I promise that I will finish the piece in a way that is true to the story I want to tell.

But I won't return to the task until some of the inner fire rekindles, and there's no putting a schedule on that emotion. It will happen when it happens.

I'm sorry, guys.
Last edit: 14 Sep 2016 07:34 by circes_cup.
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14 Sep 2016 09:38 #50240 by Dru1076
Replied by Dru1076 on topic LaPorte Caves
No need to apologise, Circes. Writing these stories is a labor of love and when your hearts not in it I know how that can put the brakes on the process. I know you'll get back to it when you're ready, and I hope it doesn't take long because the story you're writing is one that I greatly enjoy.
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14 Sep 2016 17:57 #50244 by Pepper
Replied by Pepper on topic LaPorte Caves

circes_cup wrote: Unlike most writers in this genre, I've never left a story unfinished. I'll finish this one, too. And when I do it, I'll have the benefit of the comments offered up by many of you, which have helped me think through where I want to take this story next. What's more, I promise that I will finish the piece in a way that is true to the story I want to tell.

But I won't return to the task until some of the inner fire rekindles, and there's no putting a schedule on that emotion. It will happen when it happens.

I'm sorry, guys.

I'm sorry to hear that your enthusiasm for the story has waned. I'm as anxious to read more as I've ever been, but only when you're ready to tell it.

You really have created a fascinating world and characters here. If there's anything I can do to help keep the project alive, please let me know.
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17 Sep 2016 21:43 - 17 Sep 2016 21:47 #50305 by IBP
Replied by IBP on topic LaPorte Caves
While not living up to the legendary status of some of the other members chiming in on this board I would like to throw my hat in the ring for support of Circes_Cup continuing EXACTLY the way this story has been progressing thus far. You've built an incredible world that we're all bound up in and if you hadn't been following YOUR vision from the beginning that would never have happened. However, such is the nature of public forums like this that doubt and insurrection get sown in the mind of the author by those that had no part in creating the story they're so bound up in. This is a role-reversal, world-reversal story and things are going to get reversed, so I find myself incredibly puzzled by those that hold on tightly to some conventional standards of male-female relationships and expect the story to abide by their preferences for those relationships. It would be a damn shame if this story ended up changing AT ALL due to the comments of us, the peanut gallery. Chin up Circes_Cup. Your story is being read by an exponential more than those that feel the need to comment upon it and if you carry it through as you see fit (your fantasy, not ours) it will live on to be read by an exponential more.
Last edit: 17 Sep 2016 21:47 by IBP.
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23 Oct 2016 15:05 #50849 by jnw550
Replied by jnw550 on topic LaPorte Caves


The body I picture on Julia. Maybe even slightly thicker, but this woman exudes superhuman power.

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01 Dec 2016 02:33 #51475 by circes_cup
Replied by circes_cup on topic LaPorte Caves
I expect I should be able to post a re-written 12 and a 13 within the week.

You know you're writing beer-and-a-pizza literature when your to-do list for a chapter looks like this:
1. Make sure Julia's story arc is clear.
2. Review for momentum and coherence.
3. Review for alligators.

Looking forward to sharing the next chapters with everyone.
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01 Dec 2016 08:21 #51481 by Woodclaw
Replied by Woodclaw on topic LaPorte Caves

circes_cup wrote: I expect I should be able to post a re-written 12 and a 13 within the week.

You know you're writing beer-and-a-pizza literature when your to-do list for a chapter looks like this:
1. Make sure Julia's story arc is clear.
2. Review for momentum and coherence.
3. Review for alligators.

Looking forward to sharing the next chapters with everyone.


I think a lot of people are glad to hear this ... and the alligators too ;)
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