ENERGIZE! Shower Gel (nsfw)

I refrained from commenting on Energize so far because, among other things, I wanted to see where Monty was going with this story. I wanted to see if, from a really nice start, he could build up a stroyline and characters I would like and so on. Now, event outside of this forum and community made me change my mind, so I returned here and looked at Energize one more time and realized one of my biggest errors: I was looking at the story as a whole, as product that was complete and finished in itself, not as an ongoing work and so I missed one of the most interesting point: this story is genuinely fun to read.
For as many flaws I can point out -- which aren't that many -- this story has one glaring positive that was starring at me the whole time: Energize has the qualities of both ingenuity and candour and they don't feel forced. Most of the time I'm a sucker for involved narratives, for stories that tries to present a significant plot twist or explore things from a completely unforseen angle. Energize lack in this sense, but that doesnt detract anything from the enjoyment of the story, it's actually part of its charm. Reading Energize is,at least for me, like going through an old comic book from the Silver Age, the story might not be up to certain standards, but it's damn fun and that's is what's matter!

Well Tiffany certain has had an... impact... on the story. Looking forward to more!

I just had a bit of a conversation on Energize and I want to put some elements on the plate that came out of it. I don't retract anything from my previous statement, but I have to point out a couple of things.
First and foremost, Sarah seem to be getting the short end of the stick so far. While I understand that her storyline is mostly stuck -- which gives plenty of time to evolve her -- she also seem to be the one who gets the less fun and the less mileage from the Energize. Emma -- who is arguably the star right now -- not only got more fun, but she also seemed to get the hang of her powers much faster than Sarah. I'm not sure if this came from Sarah being slower and more methodical in her tests, whereas Emma being wilder, but it was definitely noticeable, especially with Emma being able to fly immediately, while Sarah took a while to get the hang of it. I actually don't mind the fact that Emma was able to get her own batch of gel -- it makes for some good moments -- but I would really like for the focus to go back to Sarah for a while.
The second can of worms is Claire. I like her character -- don't get me wrong -- the concept of superpowered mom is one that I find very interesting, but there's something defintely iffy about how the whole thing was set into place. Mostly the problem is that Claire is currently miles ahead of both her daughters in terms of power, which makes for some great moments with Emma, but makes the Sarah's paradox from above all the more noticeable. I'm not 100% clear if this comes from the Energize being electrified or simply from Claire having a better genetic disposition than her daughters (given Chapter 10 both explanations are possible).

That's all I can say for now, I still think that the story is nice and I like how it's proceeding, but I would enjoy it much more if the two above elements are somehow adressed.

Monty wrote: Thanks for the feedback Woodclaw. I know you are right about the main issue regarding Sarah. After ch9, the idea was to pursue a whole different route involving all of the family ... but somewhere that got lost with Tiffany who took over the chapter with Emma. I may need a chapter 9.5 to rectify this as it inadvertently flew off on a tangent...

I don't think that a 9.5 is needed and you may actually make the current situation work in your favor, by having the next chapter being focused on Sarah and what she was doing in the meantime, this might actually be a nice equalizer.

Gel-physics are worth reiterating (from time to time) for folks who haven't reread earlier chapters as often as I have .

it's been updated

Fats

Better do what she says. Bit of a temper on that one .

(looking forward to it!)