"Ouch!"
Randall Dixon sat up in bed, clutching his shoulder, which suddenly throbbed with pain. In the dim pre-dawn light, he saw Stupendous Girl sitting on the edge of the mattress. Her hand flew up to her mouth. She was dressed in one of her uniforms: a red leotard/skirt combo with blue trim across the shoulders. In the center of her chest was the stylized diamond logo that was the personal crest of the Supremis royal family.
"Oh dear!" she said. "I am sorry, Randall. I only wanted to wake you up and wish you a happy Valentine's Day. I did not mean to injure you."
"It's all right," he said, as he popped his shoulder back into its socket.
Stupendous Girl had recently given him something she called a 'shock collar', an advanced piece of Supremis technology that projected a thin force field over Randall's entire body, rendering him almost invulnerable to intense shocks, while allowing normal sensations through. It allowed him to enjoy the intimate company of Stupendous Girl without his body being crushed or broken in the process.
Unfortunately, the shock collar was still a prototype, and Stupendous Girl had warned him against wearing it for extended periods of time. Even so, he was starting to wonder if he should just leave it on all night, just in case his super-powered lover were to accidentally brush against him while they were sleeping.
Not that Stupendous Girl needed much sleep; her energy, like her strength, seemed boundless. Randall glanced at the clock on the bedside table, which read 5:30. He had been up too late writing reports for him to be up this early.
"Are you going out?" he asked.
Stupendous Girl laughed. "No, silly! I have just returned. I have been patrolling the skies above China."
Randall nodded. "Oh, yes. Good idea. Any sign of the impostor?"
Stupendous Girl's reputation was being thoroughly trashed by an impostor with similar powers to hers. Since her first appearance on Halloween the previous year, the impostor had murdered thousands and had caused hundreds of billions of dollars of damage around the world. The only time that they had come close to catching the impostor was when Iona Dixon, Randall's super-powered sister, had faced off against her in Times Square on New Year's Eve. Iona had taken a beating in that encounter, but she was determined to do better next time.
Stupendous Girl shook her head. "No. I thought she might be planning some sort of attack during the New Year festivities, but nothing untoward happened. I made you coffee!"
Randall took the cup of coffee that Stupendous Girl had offered him. He examined it very closely before taking a sip. On one occasion, she had used her laser vision to heat up a cup of coffee and Randall had burned his tongue so badly that he had been unable to talk for a week. The temperature of this cup appeared to be within normal parameters, so he drank it, gratefully.
"Thank you," he said.
Stupendous Girl continued. "However, there are several holidays she might choose from right about now: Presidents Day, Valentine's Day. Oh! That reminds me! I have a present for you," said Stupendous Girl. "I understand that it is traditional." She held out a box wrapped in white paper and tied with a pink ribbon and passed it to Randall.
Randall opened the box, carefully. Inside, nestled in satin, was another shock collar. Confused, he looked closer and saw that there were a number of differences between the new collar and the one that he already wore. The new collar was golden in hue, rather than silver; on the front of the collar, a diamond-shaped symbol had been etched into the metal, a symbol that was identical to the one on Stupendous Girl's costume.
"Thank you," he said. "What is it? You already gave me a collar."
"The one that I gave you was a prototype," said Stupendous Girl. "This one is the finished article. You can keep it powered on at all times and it will protect you from far more powerful impacts than the old one did. In addition, the golden metal marks you as a royal consort and my family crest tells everybody that you are mine."
Randall swallowed. "You know I love you," he said, nervously, "but I sometimes feel uncomfortable when you refer to me as your 'consort'."
"Why should you feel uncomfortable, my sweet?" asked Stupendous Girl. "It is a great honor for you."
"It makes me feel as if we are in an unequal relationship," said Randall. "Would it really be so bad if you called me your 'boyfriend' every once in a while? Or 'sweetheart', or 'partner', or 'beau'. Even calling me your 'stud-muffin' would make me feel less like a piece of property."
"I am sorry you feel that way," said Stupendous Girl, "but the fact is that we are in an unequal relationship. I am a princess of Supremis. The women of my planet conquered a thousand worlds with our super-powers; now we bring peace and enlightenment to the galaxy. You are an ordinary civil servant from a primitive backwater of a planet... No offense."
"None taken," said Randall.
"I love you, deeply," said Stupendous Girl, "but we are not equals. If we are going to continue this relationship, then you are going to have to accept that. One day I will rule an entire planet of superwoman. I would like to have you by my side, but you will always have to walk one step behind."
"I'm sorry," said Randall. "I guess I overestimated the extent to which you had assimilated."
"So what do you say?" asked Stupendous Girl. "Will you still be my consort?"
Randall looked into Stupendous Girl's lovely green eyes. By any standard, she was the most incredible woman that he had ever met: beautiful, powerful, and brilliant. She was also naive. She might not believe it, but she needed somebody to help steer her through the treacherous political waters that she was beginning to travel. He loved her and he wanted to protect her, as crazy as that might sound.
"Yes," he said. "Of course. But I want to be more of a part of your... professional life."
Stupendous Girl smiled. She reached up and removed his old shock collar and replaced it with the new model, closing the clasp with a loud snap.
"There is one other thing I probably should have mentioned about this shock collar," she said. "I am the only one who can remove it. You will wear it at all times."
"Wow," said Randall. "This takes our relationship to a strange, new place." The collar felt comfortable around his neck, as if it belonged there.
Without warning, Stupendous Girl pulled back her fist and punched Randall in the face. He felt the impact as a soft tap.
"Whoa!" he said. "How hard did you hit me?"
"Hard enough to have splattered your brains against the wall if you did not have the shock collar," said Stupendous Girl.
"I'm super-powered like you, now!" he said.
Stupendous Girl laughed. "Do not be silly, Randall. How many times do I have to tell you that men are not capable of being super-powered. You are protected from accidental harm, but I could easily punch my way through that shield if I wanted to."
Randall frowned. "Let's just hope that you never want to, then," he said. "I have some traditional Valentine's Day presents for you! Happy Valentine's Day, your highness."
Stupendous Girl smiled. "I like it when you call me that," she said.
He reached under the bed and pulled out two boxes. One was large, red and heart-shaped. The other was small and light blue. He passed them over to Stupendous Girl.
"Oh!" she said. "I like the big one! What is in it?"
Without waiting for an answer, she tore the heart-shaped box into two pieces, sending chocolates scattering across the bed.
"Earth candy!" she shouted. "I love it!"
She grabbed a handful of chocolates from the bed and shoved them into her mouth. She rolled her eyes in pleasure as her super-powered senses transmitted the intense taste of chocolate to her brain.
"Open the small one," said Randall.
Inside the small blue box was a pendant which took the form of the letters 'S' and 'G' in silver. The pendant was on a thin silver chain.
"I love it, also!" said Stupendous Girl. "What is it?"
"It's a necklace," said Randall. "It says 'SG', for 'Stupendous Girl'. You wear it around your neck."
Stupendous Girl looked confused. "It does not signify any kind of legal arrangement between us, does it?" she asked.
"No," said Randall. "If you choose to wear it, then all that it signifies is that you are my sweetheart. I should warn you that it is not bulletproof, however."
"I will be careful with it, then," said Stupendous Girl. She carefully draped the necklace around her neck. The clasp mechanism proved to be a little tricky, so she simply fused the metal together with a gentle press of her fingers.
"So," said Randall, "what would you like to do for Valentine's Day? I didn't make any lunch or dinner reservations, but I'm sure that any restaurant would be happy to squeeze you in."
"I do not think that is necessary," said Stupendous Girl.
She disappeared in a blur and reappeared a heartbeat later. She had changed out of her Stupendous Girl uniform and into a hot pink silk camisole and matching panties.
"I think we should stay in," she said.
Randall smiled. It was going to be a long, exhausting Valentine's day for him.
"Breaking News: Presi-Defacement Day!"
"Good morning, I'm Ewan Mosley..."
"...and I'm Sadie Wallis."
"Our main story this morning is the defacement of Mount Rushmore by none other than the lovely Stupendous Girl. With eye witness details of this act of vandalism, we now go to Atsuko Romijn."
"Thank you Ewan. A sonic boom, which shattered the windows of the visitor's center, marked the beginning of the end for this monument to four great American presidents. The face of George Washington, our nation's founding president, was the first one to be erased from Mount Rushmore this morning. In a blur of laser beams and a billowing cloud of debris, the noble, sculpted visage of General Washington was removed from this South Dakota mountainside and replaced with that of a young woman. A young woman we know all know too well as Stupendous Girl."
"Once seen as a friend and a protector, this stunningly beautiful young woman has, in recent months, shown herself to be a violent enemy of the human race. She had barely finished desecrating Washington's face when she moved on to Jefferson. Roosevelt and Lincoln followed, quickly. Each of the presidents had his face replaced with that of Stupendous Girl. Four different poses of the same face are now carved into the mountainside, looking down upon America and mocking the powerlessness of our leaders against this tantalizing, yet terrifying titaness."
"When she had completed this act of vandalism, Stupendous Girl flew down to the visitor's center and floated in the air, posing for the cameras so that we could all see who was responsible. I spoke to one employee of the National Park Service about this treasonous act of monumental desecration, but the only response I received were tears. The tears of a patriot. So unlike the cold, merciless, Stupendous Girl. Back to you, Ewan."
"Thank you, Atsuko. Sadie has a commentary on this latest outrage from Stupendous Girl in her 'Beef of the Day'. Sadie?"
"Thank you, Ewan. The time has come for us to ask this so-called 'Stupendous' Girl, who I prefer to call 'Stupid and Vicious' Girl, to leave our planet alone. She has been on Earth for a little over two years. In that time, she has murdered thousands of Americans, and a number of people of other nationalities. She has destroyed our national monuments, frightened our children, and led our young men astray with her outrageous displays of raw sexuality."
"The government claims that these acts of wanton destruction are actually being carried out by an impostor, who just happens to look exactly like Stupendous Girl, and who just happens to have exactly the same powers. Do they think we are stupid? We are not stupid. The very idea is preposterous. And how is it that Stupendous Girl and this so-called impostor have never been seen in the same place at the same time? Because there is no impostor."
"The fact is that ever since Stupendous Girl arrived, she has treated our planet like a play room, and our most cherished values are her toys. We have accepted this in return for her protection against threats from beyond the stars. It is time we faced up to the fact that the only threat from beyond the stars is Stupendous Girl herself. I say it's time we send this message to Stupendous Girl: get lost, young lady!"
Stupendous Girl scowled at the television and turned off the news with a vicious stab of the remote. The fragile piece of electronics shattered in her hands. As long as she lived on Earth, she would never get used to the toxicity of Earth media. It was everywhere, all the time. There was no rational analysis of events, just an endless regurgitation of shallow prejudices.
She looked over at the sleeping figure of Randall. Given the exertions she had put him through, it was likely that he would spend the rest of the day asleep, recovering his strength. She, on the other hand, had work to do. It was time for her to join Iona in the clouds above Washington D.C., waiting for the impostor to make her next move.
During the brief interludes in the love-making that had left Randall exhausted, they had discussed where the impostor was most likely to attack on President's Day. They had decided that Mount Rushmore and Washington D.C. were the most likely targets. If they could have been sure that the impostor would attack Mount Rushmore, then Stupendous Girl and Iona Dixon would have waited for her there. Unfortunately, that would have left Washington D.C. and its greater population undefended.
Suddenly, Iona's voice came from Stupendous Girl's communicator. "She's here!" said Iona.
Stupendous Girl did not even take a microsecond to change into one of her more formal uniforms. She would go into battle wearing her Valentine's Day lingerie instead. It might not sit well with some of the moralistic talking heads of the media, but she could not bring herself to care about them.
The Washington Monument never stood a chance. When the impostor arrived in Washington D.C., she was flying at twenty times the speed of sound; she flew over the Potomac, straight at and through the base of the Washington Monument in an explosion of masonry. The stone needle began to topple to the ground.
Two things happened before the monument had moved more than a few inches from vertical. The first was that Iona Dixon flew down from her hiding place in the clouds above the city and grabbed one corner of the monument in an attempt to keep it from falling over. The second thing that happened was that the impostor looped back towards the Mall and headed straight for the White House.
Iona discovered for herself the eternal truth that it is easier to destroy than it is to build. With all of her strength, she was unable to keep the Washington Monument from tumbling to the ground. Whenever she grabbed a portion of the monument, the stone would simply crumble around her super-strong hands. She tried to hold the stone needle up with her whole body, but the damage was too great and the edifice simply collapsed around her. In the end, all she could do was watch as the Washington Monument smashed to the ground, burying her under 90,000 tons of marble, granite, and sandstone.
As the impostor sped across the Mall towards the White House, she was suddenly struck from above and slammed into the ground. Stupendous Girl had arrived just in time to finally catch up with her impostor. Stupendous Girl straddled her nemesis and punched her hard in the back of the head. The impostor pushed Stupendous Girl off and got to her feet.
The impostor was dressed in an exact duplicate of the uniform that Stupendous Girl had last worn: a red leotard/skirt combo with blue trim across the shoulders. The material appeared to be as indestructible as one of Stupendous Girl's outfits as well.
"Who are you?" asked Stupendous Girl. "Why are you doing this?"
"I'm Stupendous Girl," said the impostor, "and I'm carrying out my mission."
The impostor fired her laser vision at Stupendous Girl, striking the blonde super-heroine in the shoulder. It was one of the few things on Earth capable of hurting Stupendous Girl and the mighty super-heroine had to suppress a gasp of pain as her shoulder burned.
Stupendous Girl fired her laser vision as well. Twin beams of red shot from her eyes and met those coming from the eyes of the impostor. Against all known laws of physics, the two energy beams met in mid air and canceled each other out. The air burned yellow, hotter than the sun, where the beams met.
"What is your mission?" asked Stupendous Girl.
"My mission is to crush the spirit of humanity," said the impostor. "Making them ripe for takeover by the women of Supremis. That is why I, Stupendous Girl, was sent to Earth."
"That is nonsense," said Stupendous Girl. "The women of Supremis gave up conquest of other planets hundreds of years ago."
The impostor put her hands on her hips and laughed. "It's you who speak nonsense," she said. "The galaxy will fall before us! We'll crush our enemies beneath the heels of our stylish, yet hard-wearing boots."
"You are insane," said Stupendous Girl.
Stupendous Girl increased the power of her laser vision and was gratified to see that the impostor was unable to match her. The point where the competing energy beams met slowly moved towards the the impostor's eyes. At the last minute, before Stupendous Girl's beam could burn her eyes out of their sockets, the impostor ducked.
The impostor ran towards Stupendous Girl with her head held low and hit the mighty super-heroine in the chest, pushing her back by a couple of steps. The impostor followed up with a quick one-two of punches that Stupendous Girl blocked with her hands.
Stupendous Girl was starting to get the measure of her opponent. The insane doppelganger was stronger and more in control of her powers than Iona, but not quite as strong or experienced as Stupendous Girl. That gave credence to the theory that the impostor was a human/supremis hybrid who had gained her powers later in life, but who had gone through an intensive training regimen. In addition to giving her super-powers, whoever was behind this scheme had also erased her personality, driven the woman insane and surgically modified her to look like Stupendous Girl. Stupendous Girl felt sorry for her, but she was determined to take her down and ensure that nobody else got hurt.
"What is your real name?" asked Stupendous Girl as she swung to one side to dodge a punch.
"My real name is Stupendous Girl," said the impostor. "That's what I'm called. I can spell it out for you if you need it, blondie."
Stupendous Girl counter-attacked with a left hook that sent the impostor tumbling up into the air, head over heels.
"That is not possible," said Stupendous Girl. "If you were really from Supremis, then you would know that Stupendous Girl is just a code name. What is the name you were born with?"
The impostor looked confused. She shook her head, as if to try and clear it. "Susan?" she asked, in a tremulous tone.
Stupendous Girl spoke in a calm, measured tone. "Susan," she said. "I want you to think very carefully about who you are and how you came to be here. I do not believe that you want to destroy humanity. Somebody made you like this."
"No!" said the impostor. "I'm strong! I'm stronger than all of you!"
"You know it is the truth," said Stupendous Girl. "You know that your real name is Susan MacIntyre. You worked for the State Department." In truth, that was the full extent of what Stupendous Girl had managed to surmise about the impostor. All other records of Susan MacIntyre had been thoroughly scrubbed clean.
The impostor stood still and began to shake. "I don't know," she said. "I think you're lying. I'm the real Stupendous Girl. I should destroy you."
Suddenly, Iona Dixon streaked onto the scene and sent the impostor flying with a two-fisted punch. "Sorry I'm late, SG," she said. "Took me a little while to dig my way out from under the monument."
"Give up, Susan!" said Stupendous Girl. "You cannot hope to defeat the both of us!"
The impostor rose to her feet and spat on the ground; her spittle was flecked with blood. She laughed. "I could beat you both with my hands tied behind my back, because I have both right and might on my side. Feel the wrath of Stupendous Girl!"
She flew up to Iona and kicked her hard in the stomach, sending Iona flying into the front of the White House, destroying one of the columns. Iona managed to stop her motion before doing any further damage. Iona picked up the remainder of the fallen column and casually hefted it over her shoulder like a baseball bat. With a roar, the young super-woman flew back into the fray.
Stupendous Girl attacked her impostor with cool precision, peppering her with short, intense bursts of laser vision that were impossible to dodge. Scorched holes appeared in the impostor's costume and livid red burns appeared on her flesh.
The impostor flew down to earth, dug her hands into the ground and sprayed Stupendous Girl with a mixture of dirt and gravel; the tiny pieces moved so quickly that they disrupted Stupendous Girl's laser vision and temporarily blinded her.
Iona arrived and swung the column she was holding; the heavy stone smashed into the impostor's head and shattered into countless pieces.
The impostor was temporarily non-plussed, but not really hurt. She leaped into the air and smashed her fists into Iona's face. Iona responded with a pair of quick punches to the impostor's stomach. The two female titans traded blows in a blur of fists that were almost impossible to follow with the naked human eye.
The destruction of one of the columns at the front of the White House had galvanized a group of Secret Service agents into action. The building was almost empty, all essential personnel having been evacuated ahead of the predicted attack, but a handful of Secret Service agents remained to protect the building. A half dozen men in black suits and sunglasses raced out of the building and drew their weapons. They could not tell the difference between the two women who looked like Stupendous Girl, but they knew that Iona Dixon was on their side, so they opened fire on the the woman that she was fighting.
The handguns issued to the Secret Service would have punched a fist-sized hole through any human being that they hit, but the bullets simply pinged off the impostor's diamond-hard skin as if they were peas being thrown at a battleship. The agents kept firing, but their bullets continued to have no effect whatsoever.
Without pausing in her attacks on Iona, the impostor turned her head to face the Secret Service agents. She fired her laser vision in a broad sweep from the first agent to the last, keeping the beam focused just below head-level, decapitating all six agents in one smooth motion. The agents' heads rolled to the ground as their bodies slumped and toppled over.
Iona was discovering that she was not as strong or as skilled as the fake Stupendous Girl. Two of her super-strong ribs were, impossibly, broken. She was landing some blows, but there were not enough of them and they were not of sufficient power to overcome her opponent.
Stupendous Girl wiped the stinging grit from her eyes and sized up the situation. Iona was losing ground to the impostor, but the impostor had expended a fair amount of energy in the process. The time had come to finish this once and for all.
While the impostor was still engaged in hand-to-hand combat with Iona, Stupendous Girl came up behind her and wrapped her arms around her, pinning her arms to the side. She wrapped her legs around the impostors thighs and squeezed hard. The impostor struggled, but was unable to break Stupendous Girl's grip.
Iona took the opportunity to wind up a massive haymaker of a punch, aimed right at the impostor's head. She struck with such force that the impostor's neck snapped with a sickening crunch.
"Shit," said Iona. "Did I kill her? I didn't mean to do that."
"It takes a lot more than a broken neck to kill a super-woman," said Stupendous Girl. "Although it will slow her down a bit." She squeezed harder and harder. A half dozen of the impostor's ribs broke. The impostor screamed in agony.
"I can keep this up all day," said Stupendous Girl. "Now, Susan, tell me who did this to you."
The impostor's already slender grasp on sanity appeared to be slipping even further. "Can't tell you, won't tell you, DON'T KNOW!" she babbled. "SusanStupendousGirlSusan!"
"What's wrong with her?" asked Iona.
"The poor woman has had her own personality almost completely erased and replaced," said Stupendous Girl. "They did not just make her look like me, they made her think that she really was me."
"That's disgusting," said Iona. "I feel sorry for her."
"Me too," said Stupendous Girl, "but I need answers." She squeezed harder until one of the impostor's femurs broke with a loud snap. "The pain may force a gap in her programming."
The impostor screamed with such intensity that every window in the White House shattered and blew out. Birds dropped from the sky, dead. Everyone within a half mile of the scene was temporarily deafened.
"Susan MacIntyre, Department of State," said the impostor. "Assigned to Department of Extra-Solar affairs. LEAVE ME ALONE I NEED TO DESTROY THE WORLD!"
"I think you're getting through to her, SG," said Iona. "How did this happen to you?" she asked the impostor.
"Assigned to be Earth's representative on Supremis," said Susan MacIntyre. "Taken in the night. Taken to the place where they changed me. CRUSH HUMANITY SEE THEM RUN IN TERROR! I HAVE BECOME DEATH FROM THE SKIES!"
"Whoa," said Iona. "They sent her to Supremis, alone?"
"It makes sense on some level," said Stupendous Girl. "As a human-supremis hybrid, she would have been the best-equipped to deal with supremis women on a daily basis, just as your brother was able to keep a level head while working as my liaison."
"He fell in love with you!" said Iona. "That hardly constitutes keeping a level head. Even if she wasn't overwhelmed by the impossible beauty of the women on Supremis, she would have been overwhelmed by the technology and by being the only human being for thousands of light years. Only an idiot would send a solitary young woman to an alien planet and expect her to be able to keep it together for the long term."
Stupendous Girl coughed. "Um, that is exactly what happened with me," she said. "Do you think I have not 'kept it together'?"
Iona blushed. "You've done great, SG, falling for my idiot brother excepted. But that's different. You came here and you were able to be a super-heroine. MacIntyre would have gone to Supremis and felt like she was disabled. Can you imagine being the only person unable to fly? Or the weakest person on the planet? It must have been horrible."
"Taken and tortured and broken and rebuilt," babbled Susan MacIntyre. "Stronger, faster, blonder!"
"What the hell are we going to do with her?" asked Iona. "We can't lock her up, she'll escape in a second. We can't send her back to Supremis, because whoever did this to her is back there."
Stupendous Girl pondered her options. "Susan, did you see any of the people who did this to you?" she asked.
"Robes and masks and gloves," said Susan MacIntyre. "No faces. They took my face and gave me yours. It's very pretty, but I think that I prefer my own."
Stupendous Girl sighed. "I think she has told us everything that she can," she said. "I think we should put her out of her misery."
Iona's expression was one of shock. "You can't just kill her!"
"You said yourself that we cannot lock her up or send her to Supremis," said Stupendous Girl. "What else do you suggest?"
Stupendous Girl squeezed again, breaking Susan MacIntyre's other femur. She released her grip and watched with distaste as the broken super-woman tried to drag herself away. Stupendous Girl reached down and pulled Susan MacIntyre up. She wrapped one arm around MacIntyre's broken neck and squeezed hard until MacIntyre's head separated from the rest of her body. The force required to do this would have been more than sufficient to compress a piece of coal into a diamond.
"Well," said Randall Dixon, "that was a qualified success." He and Stupendous Girl were relaxing at the end of the day, watching the evening news reports about the fight in Washington and drinking the powerfully intoxicating liquor that the women of Supremis called 'Ale'.
"What are you talking about?" asked Stupendous Girl. "We defeated the impostor and exposed her to the world!"
"...and then decapitated her live on television," said Randall. "Public relations-wise, that could have gone better."
"That was perfectly acceptable under the rules of single combat on Supremis," said Stupendous Girl.
"The good news is that everybody believes that the impostor was causing all of the trouble," said Randall. "Even the things that were actually your fault. The bad news is that people now find you really, really frightening."
Stupendous Girl laughed. Randall could tell that the Supremis Ale was starting to go to her head. He had barely sipped his and felt like he had been drinking hard for hours. "They should be frightened of me," she said. "I am very, very powerful."
Randall was not finished. "And on top of that, you did all this while wearing lingerie that left very little to the imagination! That has pissed off more people than the violence."
"It is no shame to be proud of my body," said Stupendous Girl. "Your culture is extremely warped if it is more concerned with a healthy display of female sexuality than it is with violence."
A loud chime indicated that Stupendous Girl had an incoming message drone from Supremis. She flew out of the room, wobbling slightly to Randall's eyes. She returned with a confused look on her face.
"What is it?" asked Randall.
"I do not know," replied Stupendous Girl. "It is just a set of coordinates and a date: the day after tomorrow."
"Mysterious," said Randall. "Where do they want you to go?"
Stupendous Girl ran a few calculations through her incredible, analytical mind. "Ceres," she said, after barely a second. "It is one of the largest bodies in the asteroid belt."
"Are you going to go?" asked Randall. "It could be a trap."
"It could also be something interesting," said Stupendous Girl. "Iona should be healed up by then. She can look after Earth if anything happens to me."
"When do you need to leave?" asked Randall.
"Oh, even without my starship, I can make it to Ceres in half an hour," said Stupendous Girl. "Forty-five minutes if I take the scenic route. Sixty minutes if I'm carrying you. There is plenty of time before we have to leave."
"We?" asked Randall.
"Of course," said Stupendous Girl. "If you are going to be my consort, then you should get used to accompanying me on my travels. Did you not say that you wanted to be more involved with my life?"
"Yes, but," spluttered Randall.
"But me no buts, my sweet consort," said Stupendous Girl. "Now, how should we spend the time before we have to leave? I think that if you have the energy to argue with me, then you have the energy to pick up where we left off on Valentine's Day..."