Call Before You Come Over
Written by lfan :: [Friday, 19 August 2005 09:09] Last updated by :: [Saturday, 29 December 2012 08:21]
Call Before You Come Over
WRITTEN FOR SGI WORKSHOP 2.1
Funny how life constantly throws you curve balls …
I’m Karen Grazzi, and I was fired earlier from my third job this month! This time at some stupid greasy spoon cause I dropped a huge tray full of dishes, yet again!
Anyways, I was walking home cause I missed the bus, and some skinny guy comes running toward me frantically being chased by some guys wearing cheap suits and expensive sunglasses. Well, he runs into me, mumbles something about some experiment and then I feel a little prick! No, not that – I mean he stuck me with something right in my arm. Well, he didn’t wait around to tell me anymore as he continued running with the Rayban patrol in quickly hot pursuit, them not seeing what the little dweed had done to me.
I still dunno WHAT happened or how it did, but after puking my guts out for about five minutes where I thought I was gonna die, I started to feel better. Quite better actually! And over the course of the past few hours, I’ve discovered just how ‘better’ I am! Somehow – don’t ask me – that dweeb gave me superpowers with whatever that was! I’m fast, and tough and agile and REAL strong! I mean more powerful than a locomotive strong! Bullshit, right? Well, just ask the #8 engine down at the freight yard that’s now tipped over on its side who’s stronger!
Anyways, I couldn’t wait to tell David the wonderful news …
“David, it’s Karen! Buzz me in! I gotta show….I mean tell you something!”
“Karen … um … now’s not a good time! I’m not … uh … feeling that hot!”
Hearing the shakiness in his voice, my original superpower, female intuition, kicked in and got my mind racing. After that, my newfound supersenses took over and brought me along for the ride. Despite the pause in our conversation, my superhearing picked up a plethora of background noise which my brain categorized and identified like it was a supercomputer.
“Whoosh … whoosh … whoosh, whoosh!” Egyptian cotton sheets rustling against naked flesh, probably legs.
“Creak … creank … croink!” The faint muffled sound of compressed mattress bed springs slowly relenting.
As I continued listening, my mind somehow recorded and analyzed the sound intervals and frequencies at inconceivable speed, quickly arriving to a chilling hypothesis that I fought hard not to believe. But then I heard it --- or should I say ‘them’!
“Bom … Bom … Bom BOMM … Bom … BOMM … Bom … BomBOMM …”
Two! Two friggin’ heartbeats! David’s and a … female’s!
Even my newfound invulnerability did me no good, as I felt as if I had been punched in the stomach – or the heart!! David was my world … my existence! My mind played back a constant stream of images in perfect recall dating back to the time we first met in college. He was so wonderful …
… so handsome …
… so caring …
“Uh … Karen, I’ll call you later, honey!”
… so DEAD!...
Like a light switch being flipped, I stopped feeling sorry for myself as my thoughts turned quickly from reminiscence to revenge! I pressed the call button and sweetly spoke into the speaker trying to mask my superpowered ire.
“Don’t be silly! I’m coming up to take care of you!”
As I spoke, I fought back the urge to say anything more as my anger stewed like a cauldron on the inside.
He never got to finish his excuse as his sentence was interrupted by the crackling sound of plastic and two brief electrical arcs. In my angered state, I had absentmindedly pressed the speaker button too hard with my finger. I smiled menacingly as I looked at my slender digit knife through the hard metal casing like it was aluminum foil.
Looking at my handiwork and being reminded of the power I now possessed, a plan quickly formed in my head, a grin forming on my face as I saw something that caught my eye …
“Hi, Barbie … Ken home?”
I placed my hand on the door and pushed as Barbie tried in vain to stop me from coming in. Laughable! She was a kitten and I was a 4-ton silky-skinned locomotive.
My gentle shove knocked Barbie back a foot or so ironically back into Ken … er … David who was wearing a makeshift sarong of Egyptian cotton. As I stared at the two of them, I felt my superpowered blood boil.
“Karen … listen … I can …”
“David, stop! Don’t bother! If you and Barbie-”
“Danielle!” the little tart retorted.
“-sorry … you and Danielle!. If you two wanna screw around, be my guest! But, baby, you have no idea what you are missing out on now!”
I stretched sexily as I spoke, my body unfolding into a symphony of sweeping curves like the dunes of the Sahara. I could hear his heart beat with excitement – hers too – as they both watched me silently. I couldn’t read minds – well, not that I no know of – but it was pretty evident what they were thinking.
“Anyways, I came up to return my keys to your precious GT.”
I held a crude, reddish ball in front of him, a quizzical look on his face.
“I left them in the car here” I tossed the makeshift bauble up and down in my hand once or twice and then stopped and looked sweetly at the girl.
“I guess, to the victor, go the spoilers! Here, Barbie!”
My simple underhanded toss to the unsuspecting blonde left quite the impression! The hyper-dense, compressed car chassis bowled her over and ripped through his hardwood flooring like a cannonball, announcing Barbie’s fall from dreamland!
David could only look in disbelief and confusion over the scene as I simply smiled and silently left him alone – for now.
Now, I know what you are thinking – I could certainly think of SOMETHING with my powers that I could’ve done to him right there. You’re right – in fact my mind had come up with about 2,451 different ideas, but those would have to wait. There would be so many more creative opportunities to get back at him again in the future!