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Transformatrix 4000 -- Comments and Suggestions

19 May 2005 05:44 #1224 by argonaut
"Transformatrix 4000" was moving along nicely for the first few days; then it seemed to lose momentum.

Let's get it moving again.

I have an idea that might provide some interesting possibilities for future contributors -- but I need a "bridge."

If someone will write a chapter in which Sally uses her super-powers publicly, I'll post a follow-up promptly.

It doesn't have to be anything flashy like stopping a bank robbery -- just enough to draw some attention and get her picture in a tabloid (which will provide the starting point for my contribution).

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20 May 2005 00:15 #1253 by argonaut
Wow! Ask and ye shall receive!

Thanks for the warp-speed response, S^3 and JP! Good to see the story moving again.

Now if someone would do the same for "When We Dead Awaken" ...

I'll post my promised follow-up ASAP -- before someone else takes the story in a different direction.

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18 Jun 2005 05:45 #1533 by angels
I hated to see this story go down so quick when it was just starting to pick up speed. Guess that's my cue to add my part in...

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20 Jun 2005 03:17 #1546 by argonaut
Paris Hilton, ubergirl ... "God help us all"...

A very enjoyable contribution to the story, angels ... I wish my unedited first drafts read as well as this. I hope you do finish that workshop story in time!

It's been fun seeing how Ultragirl and you have picked up on a couple of the ideas I tossed into my chapter and developed them in ways I wouldn't have anticipated.

For those who'd like to keep the story moving, here's a rundown of the possibilities:

1. What's become of Sally Gordon? Has she been subdued and apprehended, or is she still at large?

2. What's the connection between the Transformatrix 4000, the Uber Girl Frenzy website (and its mysterious administrator Genrefan), and the sudden appearance of superwomen all over the map? (I've got a scenario worked out, but I'd rather let someone else connect the dots!)

3. It's now been established that superwomen are popping up all over. Ultragirl added Denise to the cast of characters, angels gave us Super Paris Hilton ... Add an ubergirl of your own to the story. The more, the merrier! (I've got an idea for a chapter featuring that high-school teacher in Indiana, but I want to finish my workshop story first.)

4. Ultragirl has given us an intriguing scenario: a secret government facility housing who-knows-how-many women who are growing (a) more powerful and (b) more pissed off with every day that passes. The possibilities are explosive!

5. And now we have a narcissistic uber-brat who's about to use her powers for her own aggrandizement ... Sounds like a scenario tailor-made for Conceptfan!
The following user(s) said Thank You: shipper

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20 Jun 2005 03:52 #1547 by ultragirl
Wow, so many ideas! I think I'm going to call Denise my own and go with her. Is that okay?

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20 Jun 2005 11:51 #1548 by conceptfan

Sounds like a scenario tailor-made for Conceptfan!

My work here is already done. Someone else needs to take up the torch.

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20 Jun 2005 20:54 #1549 by brantley
Guess Jessica Simpson can't be far behind Paris Hilton.....

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25 Jun 2005 23:13 #1581 by ultragirl
Oh well, scratch my last idea. :?

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10 Feb 2006 15:07 #4457 by lfan
I blame Argo for killing htis thread....as a result, he needs to revive it! :P

LF


Oh well, scratch my last idea. :?

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10 Feb 2006 19:51 #4460 by ultragirl
Oh no. It wasn't Argo. LOL. I'm not gonna drop dimes, though. I'm not that kind of girl and there isn't any point.

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12 Feb 2006 19:27 #4471 by argonaut

I blame Argo for killing htis thread....as a result, he needs to revive it! :P

LF


:? Geez, Lfan, if you blame me for "killing" the story, it seems you'd want me to stay away from this thread.

Actually, I've thought about trying to get "T4K" going again, but right now I'm behind schedule with my "sibling rivalry" story.

Here's a suggestion, though: Could there be some connection between the events of "Transformatrix 4000" and the current goings-on over at Blogger's blog?

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12 Feb 2006 20:54 #4472 by brantley

Argonaut wrote:

Here's a suggestion, though: Could there be some connection between the events of "Transformatrix 4000" and the current goings-on over at Blogger's blog?


The mind bloggles!

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22 Feb 2006 16:26 #4575 by Marina

Here's a suggestion, though: Could there be some connection between the events of "Transformatrix 4000" and the current goings-on over at Blogger's blog?


Does sound like a nice idea... :)

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22 Feb 2006 16:37 #4578 by conceptfan
I love the fact that there's been more than a dozen postings on "Reviving" Tranformatrix 4000. Instead of posting here, one of us should just write a continuation to the story...

Sorry, the blog tie-in thing is not going to happen. There are reasons for this, but they're proably not good or solid enough to list here. The important thing is that it isn't going to happen and we should concentrate on that instead of the actual reasons why.

So someone is just going to have to dive in a write the next chunk of T4000. Good luck, whoever you are!

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22 Feb 2006 16:51 #4586 by lfan
Sounds good...cannot wait!!

(sound of crickets chirping)


I love the fact that there's been more than a dozen postings on "Reviving" Tranformatrix 4000. Instead of posting here, one of us should just write a continuation to the story...

Sorry, the blog tie-in thing is not going to happen. There are reasons for this, but they're proably not good or solid enough to list here. The important thing is that it isn't going to happen and we should concentrate on that instead of the actual reasons why.

So someone is just going to have to dive in a write the next chunk of T4000. Good luck, whoever you are!

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24 Apr 2006 17:38 #5340 by conceptfan

(sound of crickets chirping)


The crickets have a point, of course, but another chunk of story would still be great.

Otherwise... is it time for 'someone' to start a new interactive story? What do people think?

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24 Apr 2006 23:17 #5344 by argonaut
Well, I've been holding on to a new chapter in the hope that someone else would post the next installment. (Since I posted the last chapter, I figured it was somebody else's turn.) But if no one steps up to the plate ...

Give me a few days to revise and polish.

Gee, I was the last person to add to Brantley's story, too. I'd hate to think that I killed both of the interactive stories!

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24 Apr 2006 23:24 #5345 by argonaut
P.S. It just occurred to me that one of the story ideas I've got jotted down might be suitable for an interactive story. Cf, send me a message if you're interested.

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21 May 2006 21:50 #5562 by argonaut
Spulo:

Thanks for stepping up to the plate!

"Clark'll want that back, by the way."
"Then he'll have to fight me for it."

Now there's a scene I'd like to read! :D

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21 May 2006 23:48 #5563 by Spulo
Thanks. :)

I'd only read the story through for the first a day or so before writing that...and it is a really good story.

The main problem it has though, is that's not very focused. It starts with one storyline, then abandons that and moves on to another, and another, and another. There's no real links between all these plotlines, and what I was thinking was that cries for the help heard at the end of the episode I wrote were because Paris Hilton or Sally whats-her-name were causing trouble with their new powers. That at least would sort of combine those two plotlines. Also I had Supergirl receive an invitation to be 'improved', which could combine it with that story.

It's also a little too ambitious. I've found that in interactive stories, big events (like over 50 women gaining incredible superpowers) are difficult to work with, and the idea that most of these women have cheerily gone to some underground government center to be examined is a little difficult to believe. Most probably wouldn't once they realised that no-one could make them. Some would, and some would be terrified by what's happened. There'd be a massive variety.

You'd also need to work out who is doing all this...50+ people have been changed, but the only people responsible that we've seen so far is some guy in an office, and a kid who gets the ray gun thingy from a 'gnome-like' person at a mall. Who is ultimately responsible for inventing the device that changed all these women, and how is he/she/it recruiting people to use them?

What I'd like is to see the plot threads that already exist be developed, without adding any more, and try to tie them together in some way. Have those schoolteachers lead a rebellion among the other superwomen that are in the government facility and get them out of there. Some could take the darker path and just want to use their powers for themselves, while others would want to do good and help people, and others would just want to get home and get back to normal.

Anyway...yeah. Them's my thoughts / that's my sermon. Sorry for the rant. Carry on. :)

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21 May 2006 23:52 #5564 by Spulo
Oh, and you're the one who did that bit where Bobby imagines Miss Henderson transforming...that's amazing, that is. :)

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22 May 2006 04:38 #5565 by argonaut
Spulo:

I agree with much of your critique -- and since I'm the one who took the story's focus away from the Sally Gordon character and opened it up to multiple ubergirls, I guess I'm to blame!

I felt that the story was moving along rather narrow lines and tried to introduce some new possibilities. You could argue that I succeeded too well, and that the story has become too diffuse -- although to some extent I think that's almost inevitable with an interactive story.

Maybe what we need at this point is a substantial chapter that ties together the various story-lines and provides a clear direction for future contributors -- or at least a coherent synopsis of the story-so-far.

Glad you enjoyed the little daydream sequence in my "Bobby" chapter. It's kind of generic, but I think it captures a fantasy most of us enjoy. I was hoping that other writers might be inspired to contribute their own variations on the theme of that chapter -- if you could endow any woman with super-powers (from a world-famous celebrity to a girl-next-door), who would it be?

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31 May 2006 00:28 #5631 by jumperprime
Replied by jumperprime on topic Re: Transformatrix 4000 -- Comments and Suggestions

Thanks. :)
You'd also need to work out who is doing all this...50+ people have been changed, but the only people responsible that we've seen so far is some guy in an office, and a kid who gets the ray gun thingy from a 'gnome-like' person at a mall. Who is ultimately responsible for inventing the device that changed all these women, and how is he/she/it recruiting people to use them?


How about a 4400-type scenario where there's some big disaster or invasion coming and guys from the future have determined that the way to avoid or stop it is with an army of ubergirls, but instead of a mass abduction and return like on TV, they go a low key route, distributing Transformatrixes to individuals either inclined to or subliminaly conditioned to use them on certain subjects. Even the rampages could be planned(the Transformatrixes might be encoded subliminal commands keyed to transmit when used on certain individuals) casualties would include people who would do bad stuff in the future, or those who would one day be their parents, or those who would influence a person in some way to commit a very bad act in the future.

Or, maybe the guys responsible are from the future, and from outer space or another dimension. They know some big bad is prepping their war machine to roll over Earth, but for whatever reason can't oppose them directly. They can however, surreptitiously prepare an army of ubergirls to oppose the baddies when they're ready to invade.

Or perhaps it's my second scenario, but instead of wanting to help us, the ones responsible for the creation of ubergirls are the ones planning to invade us, and the ubergirls they're creating are planned to soften us up/be shock troops when they're ready to drop the hammer on us, but an unknown number of the ubergirls will be able to fight off the mind control or be outright immune to it and will oppose the ones under alien control. No way to tell if someone's a sleeper or resistant until the aliens actually try to trigger the commands.

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03 Jun 2006 04:30 #5681 by YAGS
Very cool story. I had read the first few parts when it started, and I hadn't gotten back to it in a while. I like what all of you have done with it.

That said, I don't see myself jumping in and adding a chapter any time soon, despite the fact that I've been bitten by the writing bug recently. As has been mentioned, there are a lot of different plot threads, and I don't have any specific ideas to tie them together in any worthwhile way. And I don't want to start introducing new plot lines to a story that already has too many. So I'll leave this to those of you who have thought about this story more and have good ideas already.

Besides, I've got my own stories to write. I've got about 20 story ideas right now, and 7 stories that I've actually started. One of these days, I may even finish some of them and share them. I've even got one that might make a good interactive story. I think I'll post seperately about that.

YAGS

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05 Jun 2006 02:41 #5696 by argonaut
Besides adding chapters to "T4000," Spulo and I have been exchanging ideas about it in private messages.

With Spulo's permission, I'm posting our correspondence. It may inspire other writers to jump in.


Argo to Spulo:

Thanks for getting "T4000" moving again after eight months. I think you've done a neat job bringing together several of the loose plot-threads, and given the story some much-needed focus and direction. I got a kick out of seeing my character Bobby Franklin brought back, and I must say your handling of the character is spot-on!

You obviously write quickly -- but you also write smoothly, with an ear for dialogue and an eye for plot. I hope something comes of your "Galaxy Quest" idea.

Now -- I've enjoyed batting the story back and forth with you over the past week, but I want to touch base with you before I add anything else. You seem to know where you're going with it, and I don't want to derail your plans inadvertently. So if you can give me a rough outline of your ideas, I'll work around them. (Of course, that won't prevent some other writer from tossing a monkey wrench into your plans ...)


Spulo to Argo:

Glad you liked my chapters! As for any other plans I have ... well, I don't really have any, actually. Aside from getting Lois and Denise to investigate that store, getting Supergirl a Transformatrix to use on herself, and somehow getting all those women out of that compound ... there's no particular direction I'd like to take this. Oh, and having Denise get back to her family, that too.

I'm not sure about that 'taken over by aliens' idea that JumperPrime mentioned ... it would fly in the face of developing the characters as individuals if half of them suddenly became mindless soldiers. Not saying that the alien angle is a bad one or anything, I just don't know that that's the best way to go about it ...

Ooh, but I'd like to keep Bobby around, just because ... well, he is us, isn't he? And when pretty much all the other characters in the story have superpowers, he's the only one we can really relate to.

Actually, I'd like for him and Miss Henderson to get together at some point ... she said he'd be graduating soon, so there wouldn't be any dodgy angle to it if they were to start dating ... just thought it would be cool for him to end up with a superpowered girlfriend ...

Ooh, an idea I've just thought of ... make Sally and Paris Hilton a team. They could be trying to get hold of some working Transformatrixes to make themselves (or maybe just Paris) even more powerful. They could be following Lois and Denise as they make their investigations, perhaps ...

Anyway, that's all I have, really. But I want to do lots more chapters. :)


Argo to Spulo:

Thanks for replying.

Like you, I don't care for the mind-control element in JumperPrime's scenario -- but the idea of alien involvement has possibilities.

Say the government of Planet X knows that Planet Y is planning to invade Earth, and wants to prevent that -- for whatever reason. Rather than confront Planet Y directly, it sends agents to Earth with the mission of turning part of our population into a super-army capable of stopping the invaders on its own. And since Planet X is a matriarchy, its agents naturally target women.

The mission is still in its early stage. Through Genrefan -- and the details of his invovement would have to be worked out -- a cross-section of young women are given super-powers. The aliens are observing the results and refining the T4000 technology accordingly. One idea I'd like to introduce is that the T4000 has been improved since its early trials. The "transformees" no longer pass out, and their powers manifest much more rapidly. What's more, the rampaging behavior of Sally, Paris, and (briefly) Denise can be attributed -- partly -- to flaws, now corrected, in the first version of the T4000.

That wouldn't have to mean that every transformee from now on would be perfectly well-balanced and responsible. The initial thrill of gaining super-powers would definitely bring out each subject's basic character traits -- often in pretty dramatic ways. So we's continue to see super-anger, super-arrogance, super-nymphomania, etc. But level-headed transformees like Jill and Lois wouldn't display such extreme behaviors.

I'm all for keeping Bobby around! (I'm sure it's pretty obvious that my first "Bobby" chapter drew on my own crush on one of my high-school teachers.) Not sure I want to see him and Miss Henderson become an item, though -- Bobby's attraction to Miss H. is just an adolescent infatuation, after all. And it's not as if there aren't plenty of super-powered girls Bobby's own age. (Hmmm ... maybe Jill could take a teen-age transformee under her wing at the clinic. The girl is upset because she thinks boys will consider her a freak on account of her super-powers. Eventually, Jill can introduce this girl to Bobby ...)

Funny -- it wasn't until I re-read the whole story from the beginning a few days ago that I realized I was the one who introduced the idea of a super-powered Paris Hilton ... though I meant it as a throwaway joke! I guess with an interactive story, you never know what other writers are going to pick up on ...


Spulo to Argo:

I could go with what you've just outlined there about the aliens. Only thing -- how many more would thery need, do you think? And might there be some people getting resentful that they've not been picked?

I suggested the Bobby / Jill thing because I wanted some sort of payoff to that fantasy scene of yours ... only a much better way to do it would be for her to become a superheroine just like he imagined, still leading a double life as a teacher. Presumably at some point he's going to have to 'fess up, and she starts thinking that maybe she could put on a costume and fight crime -- but as something she genuinely wants to do, rather than just to fulfill his fantasy. :)

[ SPOILER DELETED ]

And as for Paris Hilton ... well, having a superpowered superbitch dedicated to getting herself more and more power could be fun. And making Sally her sidekick would give the character from the start of the story something to do. And whenever they cause trouble, Supergirl and Superwoman can be there to deal with them, so that gives tem something to do as well.

Ooh, and I noticed that Avril Lavigne and Jessica Alba were listed as having been affected ... so maybe we could incorporate them somewhere?


Argo to Spulo:

The alien-involvement angle is something to keep in mind, but I think it can wait. Let's let Lois track down Genrefan (who may or may not be the guy in the Tall Building) --then she can start figuring out who's behind him.

[ SPOILER DELETED ]


I deleted a couple of passages that contain spoilers regarding my next chapter.

Of course, the only way Spulo and I -- or anyone else -- can dictate the direction of the story is by adding to the story itself. If you like our ideas, feel free to use them in a chapter of your own. If you want the story to go in an altogether different direction, make it happen in a chapter of your own.

Write on ...

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