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Transformatrix 4000 -- Comments and Suggestions

22 Jun 2006 01:40 #5891 by argonaut
Hey, "Transformatrix 4000" once went for eight months without a new chapter -- and "When We Dead Awaken" for nearly fifteen -- so it's a bit early to start fretting.

Nice chapter, Ultragirl. I know you wanted to get Denise back to her family, and I'm glad you had an opportunity to do just that.

I'm going to borrow her for the next chapter, though ...

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26 Jun 2006 20:25 #5961 by angels
I think I might also drop a chapter in soon. I love where everyone has taken this... I think everyone's done a great job in keeping the characters consistant in from chapter to the next. Granted, it's easy to write Paris Hilton as an evil spoiled brat... :mrgreen:, but DeeAnn, Denise, all of them stay very true to their inclusions. It makes for a great read.

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27 Jun 2006 03:48 #5974 by argonaut
Yeah, I should get off my ass -- or rather, remain on it -- and write a new chapter myself.

I'd like to see the "secret government compound" storyline wrapped up soon, but there are so many directions the story could go afterwards.

Spulo deserves our thanks for getting the story going again, and for giving it some much-needed focus and direction. But maybe he should take a break from "T4000" so that he can get to work on his "Galaxy Quest"-inspired project!

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29 Jun 2006 15:43 #6034 by Spulo
A possible Jill Henderson? (Probably not a work-safe link...)

melissa-davis.com/lust/magazine01/index.html

Maybe not as she is there, but with glasses and a general teacherish appearance...

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05 Jul 2006 16:37 #6114 by ultragirl
Guys, I will be out of town basically this whole month. Make sure Denise stays sweet, but has fun. ;)

(I'm sure whatever you do will be great.)

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09 Jul 2006 14:25 #6162 by Spulo

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09 Jul 2006 15:42 #6164 by argonaut

Guys, I will be out of town basically this whole month. Make sure Denise stays sweet, but has fun. ;)

(I'm sure whatever you do will be great.)


I'll be off-line myself next week (camping in the White Mountains).

I'm looking forward to reading the workshop stories when I get back -- and maybe a new chapter (or two) of "Transformatrix 4000."

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14 Jul 2006 05:59 #6245 by ultragirl
Guess the girls got a bit of an upgrade, eh? Hehe. I hope you enjoy my latest.

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17 Jul 2006 07:22 #6263 by ultragirl
Did scare people away again?

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17 Jul 2006 12:09 #6265 by Spulo
No, no. Next episode is up...

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18 Jul 2006 17:59 #6296 by ultragirl
Uh Oh. Two issues.

Denise lost her uniform. She essentially naked.

I don't think I described Denise as wearing a cape. I wanted a Wonder Woman approach to her.

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18 Jul 2006 19:15 #6297 by Spulo
Oh...I said that Supergirl had given her a costume just before they went into the facility...then you said that it was black and kind of Wonder Womany...so I assumed it still existed. Did you mean that it was destroyed when the Par-Las exploded?

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19 Jul 2006 17:30 #6307 by ultragirl
Yeah. And I only say that because I think it would a little too convenient to simply have fabric laying around that could withstand nuclear+ temps. You know?

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19 Jul 2006 19:33 #6311 by Spulo
Well, If the women can survive those temperatures... :wink:

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19 Jul 2006 20:51 #6312 by argonaut
Denise is featured in a chapter I'll be posting tonight or tomorrow. I'll try to resolve the "wardrobe issue."

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21 Jul 2006 02:27 #6338 by ultragirl
Wardrobe malfunction! Bwah-hahaha!

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21 Jul 2006 20:19 #6344 by Spulo
So...what did happen to Denise's costume? :)

We seem to be having more serious problems than wardrobe ones...certain characters seem to be disappearing. I had Lois and Amber heading down to the lower levels, with Jill heading upstairs to help Denise.

Ultragirl then had Jill back with Lois, and Denise by herself. I then had Jill catch up with Denise...and now in Argo's new episode Denise is by herself again, and Amber appears to have turned into DeeAnn...God knows where Kara's got to. :)

I don't wanna be overly picky, but...it does seem to be getting a little bit...odd.

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21 Jul 2006 20:55 #6345 by argonaut
A little confusing, maybe, but not odd.

Spulo had Denise put on one of Kara's spare costumes (presumably indestructible). Ultragirl had Denise wearing a different kind of outfit -- one that got vaporized by the Par-Las. I didn't see any way to reconcile the two, so I made an "executive decision." (Those who haven't read my new chapter might take a minute to guess whether I went with a clothed or naked Denise ...)

As for the other inconsistencies Spulo noted -- let's just say that things got kind of hectic and partners got switched between chapters. Here's my run-down on everyone's current whereabouts:

DeeAnn: Waiting for Lois's signal to pull the plug on the Lotos.

Lois: On her way to the auditorium to address the quarantined super-women.

Denise: On her way back to the facility (with a stop to pick up some clothes). (Maybe she'll be bringing Bobby Franklin with her?)

Jill and Amber: Heading for the auditorium.

Kara: ??? (Maybe dealing with the last of the soldiers, maybe directing the facility's "guests" to the auditorium.)

Dr. Klyburn: On her way to the San Francisco branch of STAR Labs to get her Transformatrix re-activated.

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27 Jul 2006 09:27 #6371 by Spulo
Hope I've not killed it now...

Question - is it likely that all information related to these superwomen is stored in the facility, on some big computer or something? Maybe some could destroy it, so that these people can go back to their old lives without their powers becoming public knowledge...

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29 Jul 2006 21:13 #6393 by argonaut
It's been a busy month for me. I'll let someone else bring down the curtain on the "secret compound." How about it, Ultragirl ... JumperPrime ... angels ... lfan? Or maybe someone new could step up to the plate.

Tell you what, though: Once the "secret compound" storyline gets tied up, I'll write a "three months later" chapter to establish the whereabouts of the various characters (suggestions welcome) and kick off a new story-arc.

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30 Jul 2006 02:00 #6395 by Spulo
Could I put in a few suggestions here for a possible next episode? I'm not going to put "It might be nice to" or "I'd like to see this" each time - just take that as read. :)

1) Bobby - needs to fess up to Jill. Hopefully she won't be too angry...

2) Bobby and Amber get together. I have a plan for an Amber story, so for T-3000 what I'd like is some mention that she's trying to go back to her old life - sits her finals, and aces them because of her new skills. No superheroics...yet...

3) Some mention of how much privacy these women will have after they leave the facility - if someone outside the place has a full list of everyone there, then that might cause problems...

4) Also - those government agents suspected Lois was Ultrawoman. Maybe have them do something about that...perhaps an "If you publish your story on the facility, then we tell the world you're Ultrawoman" type threat...

5) Klyburn getting her Transformatrix 'fixed'...

6) Not sure how people would feel about this - Kara and Jill get together. Yes, yes, I know...but as I see it, Kara would want to be with someone like her - that's partly why she's fixated on DeeAnn - and Jill's the only one who doesn't have any significant other as far as we know. Making them a couple makes each character less likely to get lost in the crowd, and also develops them a little. No need to dwell it - if we're going to jump ahead three months, then we can end this first part with one asking the other out, and then rejoin the story with them happily together - perhaps with shy quiet Jill finding it harder and harder not to squeeze into one of Kara's spare costumes and become a superhero herself...

7) Kara following up on that offer she had of an improval by a Transformatrix...maybe that gives her some completely new powers, as well as boosting her old ones...

7) DeeAnn coming to terms with the entire world knowing that she is Superwoman.

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30 Jul 2006 04:20 #6396 by argonaut
Spulo -- Amber is your character, so I'll go along with whatever you suggest for her.

Ultragirl -- Denise is yours. What do you see her doing three months down the road?

Anyone have any suggestions regarding Paris Hilton? And what about Sally Gordon? She's hardly been seen since all those other super-women began popping up. Have we missed anyone?

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30 Jul 2006 06:47 #6398 by Albais
What 'bout ex-man of steel and Amber's friends? Would be easy to know what happens with cheerleaders contest.

Kara & Jill it's a great idea. After DeeAnn's adventure she needs someone, not only a crimefighter companion...

And information theme is so good too. Make forget the world about all that happened would be more easy for those ladies in her new double life.

Someone else?

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30 Jul 2006 13:31 #6399 by Spulo
I have an idea for a generic (it could find in either side of the three months later bit) scene with Paris and Sally (I've assumed they're a team now too). They now just take whatever they want and live in luxury, and maybe Paris' sister could ask to be given superpowers too. Perhaps Paris and Sally should find out about the Transformatrix...from Klyburn, maybe?

I know Argo had an idea for Superman, and a certain other character...

Ooh, that reminds me - what about Lana?

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30 Jul 2006 19:01 #6400 by Albais
There's a way didn't exploited still: All the Auditorum's anonimous ├╝berbabes.

A lot of unfaced & unnamed with a probably great story behind everyone:

Why are here? What mades all of hers use TM 4000?

Maybe once the training building part overs would be interesting to intercalate those characters to knew some things more...

...just like how Kara will provide uniforms to each and every 1. :D

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