New Story Posted - 4/15/10

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15 Apr 2010 13:26 #18762 by lfan

New Story Posted - 4/15/10 was created by lfan

In celebration of tax day, we give you all a treat to help alleviate your fiscal burden, compliments of Dr. Muttonchops.

Dr. Muttonchops, addition to having the best screenname IMO, has been treating us with vignettes in the Aspiring Writers forum for a while and now has taken the plunge with a fantastic storybank submission. Hopefully, he'll treat us to many more in the future.

Take a read of "The Disappearing Matter" in the bank and show him some love!

Peace
ElF

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15 Apr 2010 16:38 #18765 by Dr. Muttonchops

Replied by Dr. Muttonchops on topic Thanks, LF!

Hey, LF!

Thanks for the kudos on my story and screename! (It's a character I've been working on.)

For all you readers, here's a little trivia: The villain was originally supposed to be Mister Mxyzptlk, but even though this is supposed to be the adaptation of a cartoon, it's still a relatively serious one, and I felt he was far too silly to be in it. Which led to a more familiar villain making an appearence. Hope you all enjoy it!

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17 Apr 2010 05:39 #18780 by sgfan05

Replied by sgfan05 on topic Re: New Story Posted - 4/15/10

Great stuff do!

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17 Apr 2010 06:04 #18781 by Dr. Muttonchops

Replied by Dr. Muttonchops on topic Thanks!

Thanks a lot!

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17 Apr 2010 14:12 #18784 by yaracyrrah

Replied by yaracyrrah on topic Re: New Story Posted - 4/15/10

Excellent!

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17 Apr 2010 17:47 #18785 by Dr. Muttonchops

Replied by Dr. Muttonchops on topic Thank You!

Thanks, Yarac!

I was actually afraid that now that I'm posting in the storybank to a wider audience, nobody would like it. Guess my fears were unfounded. :lol:

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19 Apr 2010 21:48 #18806 by argonaut

Replied by argonaut on topic Re: New Story Posted - 4/15/10

I like it! It's nice to see you telling a longer story while keeping the period "feel" (I enjoyed the rapid-fire delivery of the newscaster) and building on your established continuity.

One request: Break your paragraphs into shorter chunks. And when you're writing dialogue, a new paragraph for each change of speaker. It makes for easier reading.

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